BROKEN CHAINS

by Xiu Mei

Original ONGOING Adventure Comedy Drama Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead Female Lead Martial Arts Non-Human lead Xianxia

 

A young orphaned street child and thief stumbles head first into a world of cultivation.  She uncovers her bloodline and follows the path of cultivation.

This is the story of Yun Kou, how she climbs her way up this cultivation world, filled with powerful clan's, Wild Spirits, Demons and Beasts and cultivation sects. 

Many tropes of common cultivation novels are used.

But there won't be any cheats.

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sedwolf
  • Overall Score

Creative story, don't be discouraged

 Don't give up on this novel; so far it has a very creative premise, even if it's similar to other Wuxia novels. I'm reading both this and forge of destiny, and, while they have similar cultivation systems, it's clear that this novel is not just some knock off. Great job, could use a little more depth as far as characters' personalities go, but that will probably come with time. Needs some serious editing though, especially the earlier chapters. 

Review after chapter 27

Last Plan
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A good cultivation novel - NOT Forge of Destiny

This novel is actually quite good, although the author could use a bit of grammactial help. I understand that they are not a native english speaker, but that doesn't change the fact that some editing could really improve the novel. Focus on grammar, and all aspects of the novel will get better. There are a few times where the author uses a correctly spelled word, that isn't what they wanted to use. (Example: in the bottom author's note for chapter 28, summery is used for summary. The first is an adjective referring to the season of Summer, and the second is a noun referring to a shortened description of events or conversation.)

As the title states, this is NOT Forge of Destiny. So far, there has been essentially zero politics, and while there are similarities between the two, that does not make them the same.

Aspects that are similar:

  • The MC is female, young, and from the slums.
  • It's a cultivation novel.
  • The MC uses darkness elemental techniques.
  • She has a friend that uses fire techniques.
  • Choice of elements affecting the user.
  • It takes place in a sect for most of the currently written chapters. (until 28 so far)
  • The MC is a thief.
  • Both novels have a fairly standard (with some twists) cultivation system.
  • Both have Qi, with elemental variations.
  • Body and Spirit cultivation for martial arts and magic, respectively.
  • Cultivation is broken into tiers, levels, and grades.
  • Said tiers, levels, and grades are labled with colors/metals/numbers/wishy-washy-mumbo-jumbo . . . like every other cultivation novel.
  • Spirit stones being Qi batteries.
  • Both MCs have a spirit mentor.
  • There are trials that are dangerous, but if one is successful provide fortune and glory.
  • There is a ban on open conflict for the early part of the story in the sect.
  • They both attend classes on both types of cultivation.

Things that are different:

  • Ling Qi (MC of Forge of Destiny) uses wind, ice, moon, and music techniques as a major part of her arsenal.
  • Kou has a bamboo flute (mentioned only in one sentence) and has never played it.
  • Kou uses Light techniques, and none of the other elements or types.
  • Kou has no spirit companions/pets/pokemon.
  • Kou has a bloodline that she is unlocking, and Ling Qi has no special bloodline.
  • Kou's spirit mentor is her grandmother, Ling Qi has no relation to her mentor.
  • Ling Qi has a family, let alone a relationship with them. Kou does not.
  • Kou behaves in a consistent manner, Ling Qi seems to have multiple personality disorder at times. (due to the Quest medium)
  • Forge of Destiny has elements of romance, Broken Chains does not.
  • Kou has friends, but is not an employee/subordinate of any of them.
  • Forge of Destiny has a heavy theme of clan politics, and Broken Chains does not.
  • Ling Qi fights fellow disciples quite a lot, actually, and Kou has barely fought any people.

Shared elements that are from the shared genre:

  • It's a cultivation novel.
  • The MC uses elemental techniques.
  • Choice of elements affecting the user.
  • It takes place in a sect for most of the currently written chapters.
  • The novels has a fairly standard (with some twists) cultivation system.
  • The novel has Qi, with elemental variations.
  • Body and Spirit cultivation for martial arts and magic, respectively.
  • Cultivation is broken into tiers, levels, and grades.
  • Said tiers, levels, and grades are labled with colors/metals/numbers/wishy-washy-mumbo-jumbo . . . like every other cultivation novel.
  • Spirit stones being Qi batteries.
  • MC has a mentor that is a spirit/old geezer in a rock/can/ring/sword.
  • There are trials that are dangerous, but if one is successful provide fortune and glory.
  • There is a ban on open conflict for the early part of the story in the sect.
  • Disciples of sects attend lectures and classes on various types of cultivation and professions.

With some edits (mostly plurals), the shared-genre-list is a copy of the first list apart from THREE lines! The first list is 17 bullets long, the third list is 14 bullets long, and the second is 12 long. There are four times the differences just in my short lists than there are similarities between the two novels, if you remove all the genre related points. Saying they're the same novel is like saying that every fantasy novel after Tolkien is ripping off the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Sure, because they have solitary (or small groups of) heroes, dragons, and magic means they are similar. That's part of what the fantasy genre refers to!

whitevirus
  • Overall Score

I truly love your story hope you continue. I like that the caractere fell alive and not all killer

RollingPanda
  • Overall Score

Really good cultivation novel 

super well written 

proofreader
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A breathe of fresh air to cultivation. 

A lovely author who brings a breathe of fresh air to the world of cultivation. 

The story is a blend of all of our favorite Cultivation tropes, without all the minuses. The characters actually grow alongside the story, and our MC is not all powerful or incapable of making mistakes. 

The author admits she not a native speaker, and in general the many mistakes [sorry] do not distract from the story. In fact, since it was orginally written in Englsih, the writing comes off far better than any of the major W/X series readable as translations.

If you like culivation novels, then you will soon find happy here. 

RevokedOreo
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The story has a couple grammar problems, but I find it very enjoyable. I doubt it is for everyone (no story is) but I would reccomend giving it a try.

Fallion
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I read the Forward but this is honestly much too similar to Forge of Destiny.

The cultivation system is basically the exact same, the way to train techniques is the same and the characters have similar personalities.

If you're going to read this and have already read Forge of Destiny just be prepared to get a lot of deja vu feelings.

It is not a bad story judged by itself but I'd advice you to only read one of the two stories, I can't honestly say I enjoy this after having read the other.

I've read to Ch. 17.

Dos
  • Overall Score

Intresting take on the junera Grammar and editing could definitely improve. 

Mc is a Young street smart girl, that brakes caricature every once and a while.