BROKEN CHAINS

by Xiu Mei

Original ONGOING Adventure Comedy Drama Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead Female Lead Martial Arts Non-Human lead Xianxia

 

A young orphaned street child and thief stumbles head first into a world of cultivation.  She uncovers her bloodline and follows the path of cultivation.

This is the story of Yun Kou, how she climbs her way up this cultivation world, filled with powerful clan's, Wild Spirits, Demons and Beasts and cultivation sects. 

Many tropes of common cultivation novels are used.

But there won't be any cheats.

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
FORWORD - PLEASE READ ago
Glossary - may contain spoilers. ago
Chapter 1 Beginning. Rewritten (2) ago
Chapter 2 Bath-time! ago
Chapter 3 ago
Chapter 4 ago
Chapter 4.5 ago
Chapter 5 ago
Chapter 5.5 ago
Chapter 6 ago
Chapter 7 ago
Chapter 8 ago
8.5 ago
chapter 9 ago
Chapter 9 Part two ago
Chapter 10 ago
Chapter 11 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 ago
Xiu Shihong (15.5) ago
Chapter 16 Spider Den ago
Chapter 17. Death? Saved? ago
Chapter 18 Shi Shi ago
Chapter 19 Bloodlines ago
Chapter 20 Many things! ago
Chapter 21 Shi Shi's first trial ago
Chapter 22. Family. ago
Chapter 23. The plot thickens ago
Chapter 24 Weapons! ago
Chapter 25 T-R-I-A-L ago
Chapter 26 Inside the cave. ago
Chapter 27 Resolve for the future. ago
Update - Next Chapter will be done ether this evening or friday. ago
Chapter 28 - The flowing of time. ago
Chapter 29 Friends. ago
Chapter 30 Fu Tengfang and the Twins ago
Chapter 31 Shameless! ago
Chapter 32 Closed "Door" Cultivation ago
Chapter 33 Enlightenment (edited) ago
Update - Next Chapter sometime tomorrow, still no internet. ago
Chapter 34 The plot thickens (2) (Unedited) ago
Chapter 35: The next Realm! (unedited) ago
Chapter 36 Ning Yu. ago
Chapter 37 - Fox Nap. ago
Chapter 38: Tails and Fire. Redone. ago
Chapter 39 The problems of Li Zhi ago
Chapter 40 Core Treasure. ago
(Please read)Update, may take a break to actually force myself to rewrite things ago
Chapter 41. Ice and Fire. ago
Chapter 42 Yun Kou returns! (Unedited) ago
Questions from the Author. ago
Reviews

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Niurn
  • Overall Score

Good writing takes time. Don't rush.

Good start but sadly the writing quicky goes to the drain. The first chapters are well written but the style devolves into a CN-translation writing by chapter 15 : one line paragraph, no effort on description, simplistic sentences, action favored over character development...

The first 3 chapters should set the tone for the rest of your story. You put some effort into it and should do the same for every chapter.

Story :

I like the statement of intent from the synopsis: "Many tropes of common cultivation novels are used.But there won't be any cheats." Sadly, our MC has a special and secret bloodline ... yeah, a cheat.

 

sedwolf
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Creative story, don't be discouraged

 Don't give up on this novel; so far it has a very creative premise, even if it's similar to other Wuxia novels. I'm reading both this and forge of destiny, and, while they have similar cultivation systems, it's clear that this novel is not just some knock off. Great job, could use a little more depth as far as characters' personalities go, but that will probably come with time. Needs some serious editing though, especially the earlier chapters. 

Review after chapter 27

proofreader
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A breathe of fresh air to cultivation. 

A lovely author who brings a breathe of fresh air to the world of cultivation. 

The story is a blend of all of our favorite Cultivation tropes, without all the minuses. The characters actually grow alongside the story, and our MC is not all powerful or incapable of making mistakes. 

The author admits she not a native speaker, and in general the many mistakes [sorry] do not distract from the story. In fact, since it was orginally written in Englsih, the writing comes off far better than any of the major W/X series readable as translations.

If you like culivation novels, then you will soon find happy here. 

Last Plan
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A good cultivation novel - NOT Forge of Destiny

This novel is actually quite good, although the author could use a bit of grammactial help. I understand that they are not a native english speaker, but that doesn't change the fact that some editing could really improve the novel. Focus on grammar, and all aspects of the novel will get better. There are a few times where the author uses a correctly spelled word, that isn't what they wanted to use. (Example: in the bottom author's note for chapter 28, summery is used for summary. The first is an adjective referring to the season of Summer, and the second is a noun referring to a shortened description of events or conversation.)

As the title states, this is NOT Forge of Destiny. So far, there has been essentially zero politics, and while there are similarities between the two, that does not make them the same.

Aspects that are similar:

  • The MC is female, young, and from the slums.
  • It's a cultivation novel.
  • The MC uses darkness elemental techniques.
  • She has a friend that uses fire techniques.
  • Choice of elements affecting the user.
  • It takes place in a sect for most of the currently written chapters. (until 28 so far)
  • The MC is a thief.
  • Both novels have a fairly standard (with some twists) cultivation system.
  • Both have Qi, with elemental variations.
  • Body and Spirit cultivation for martial arts and magic, respectively.
  • Cultivation is broken into tiers, levels, and grades.
  • Said tiers, levels, and grades are labled with colors/metals/numbers/wishy-washy-mumbo-jumbo . . . like every other cultivation novel.
  • Spirit stones being Qi batteries.
  • Both MCs have a spirit mentor.
  • There are trials that are dangerous, but if one is successful provide fortune and glory.
  • There is a ban on open conflict for the early part of the story in the sect.
  • They both attend classes on both types of cultivation.

Things that are different:

  • Ling Qi (MC of Forge of Destiny) uses wind, ice, moon, and music techniques as a major part of her arsenal.
  • Kou has a bamboo flute (mentioned only in one sentence) and has never played it.
  • Kou uses Light techniques, and none of the other elements or types.
  • Kou has no spirit companions/pets/pokemon.
  • Kou has a bloodline that she is unlocking, and Ling Qi has no special bloodline.
  • Kou's spirit mentor is her grandmother, Ling Qi has no relation to her mentor.
  • Ling Qi has a family, let alone a relationship with them. Kou does not.
  • Kou behaves in a consistent manner, Ling Qi seems to have multiple personality disorder at times. (due to the Quest medium)
  • Forge of Destiny has elements of romance, Broken Chains does not.
  • Kou has friends, but is not an employee/subordinate of any of them.
  • Forge of Destiny has a heavy theme of clan politics, and Broken Chains does not.
  • Ling Qi fights fellow disciples quite a lot, actually, and Kou has barely fought any people.

Shared elements that are from the shared genre:

  • It's a cultivation novel.
  • The MC uses elemental techniques.
  • Choice of elements affecting the user.
  • It takes place in a sect for most of the currently written chapters.
  • The novels has a fairly standard (with some twists) cultivation system.
  • The novel has Qi, with elemental variations.
  • Body and Spirit cultivation for martial arts and magic, respectively.
  • Cultivation is broken into tiers, levels, and grades.
  • Said tiers, levels, and grades are labled with colors/metals/numbers/wishy-washy-mumbo-jumbo . . . like every other cultivation novel.
  • Spirit stones being Qi batteries.
  • MC has a mentor that is a spirit/old geezer in a rock/can/ring/sword.
  • There are trials that are dangerous, but if one is successful provide fortune and glory.
  • There is a ban on open conflict for the early part of the story in the sect.
  • Disciples of sects attend lectures and classes on various types of cultivation and professions.

With some edits (mostly plurals), the shared-genre-list is a copy of the first list apart from THREE lines! The first list is 17 bullets long, the third list is 14 bullets long, and the second is 12 long. There are four times the differences just in my short lists than there are similarities between the two novels, if you remove all the genre related points. Saying they're the same novel is like saying that every fantasy novel after Tolkien is ripping off the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Sure, because they have solitary (or small groups of) heroes, dragons, and magic means they are similar. That's part of what the fantasy genre refers to!

whitevirus
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I truly love your story hope you continue. I like that the caractere fell alive and not all killer

RevokedOreo
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The story has a couple grammar problems, but I find it very enjoyable. I doubt it is for everyone (no story is) but I would reccomend giving it a try.

KaapstadMK
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Not Forge of Destiny and that's just perfect

To start, I'll add my voice to those pushing back against the FoD plagiarism claims.

The similarities are superficial and the stories carry their respective MCs in far different directions.

For me, I enjoy both, for different reasons. Broken Chains has been especially fun to read as the MC is a very young girl and her childish impulsiveness and naivete bring the story alive in a way that few stories on RRL are.

Like all cultivation stories, it has its serious moments, dog-eat-dog philosophy, and jerks posturing for a fight, but it makes the  common themes work by juxtaposing the MC against all that. That, in addition to MC's childishness are what kee me reading each update

Ringostrauss
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Enjoyable read, Fun diversion

The difference between something I want to read and something I don't is personality.  This novel provides characters that I can hear talking, and visualize.  While it does have some issues with editing, they do not detract too heavily from the experience.  I appreciate you sharing this novel with us and look forward to the continued adventures of Yun Kou. 

Some of your grammar issues could probably be fixed with a grammar editing program some of which are free, also you've had a few spelling mistakes that almost any spell checker will catch. I would honestly give this 3 stars for grammar except to balance for some ridiculously low reviews for no reason.

Having read both this and Forge of Destiny, while both draw from the same genre this is definitely not plagiarized.

RollingPanda
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Really good cultivation novel 

super well written 

Dos
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Intresting take on the junera Grammar and editing could definitely improve. 

Mc is a Young street smart girl, that brakes caricature every once and a while.