BROKEN CHAINS

by Xiu Mei

Original ONGOING Adventure Comedy Drama Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead Female Lead Martial Arts Non-Human lead Xianxia

 

A young orphaned street child and thief stumbles head first into a world of cultivation.  She uncovers her bloodline and follows the path of cultivation.

This is the story of Yun Kou, how she climbs her way up this cultivation world, filled with powerful clan's, Wild Spirits, Demons and Beasts and cultivation sects. 

Many tropes of common cultivation novels are used.

But there won't be any cheats.

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Xiu Mei

Xiu Mei

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
FORWORD - PLEASE READ ago
Glossary - may contain spoilers. ago
Chapter 1 Beginning. Rewritten (2) ago
Chapter 2 Bath-time! ago
Chapter 3 ago
Chapter 4 ago
Chapter 4.5 ago
Chapter 5 ago
Chapter 5.5 ago
Chapter 6 ago
Chapter 7 ago
Chapter 8 ago
8.5 ago
chapter 9 ago
Chapter 9 Part two ago
Chapter 10 ago
Chapter 11 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 ago
Xiu Shihong (15.5) ago
Chapter 16 Spider Den ago
Chapter 17. Death? Saved? ago
Chapter 18 Shi Shi ago
Chapter 19 Bloodlines ago
Chapter 20 Many things! ago
Chapter 21 Shi Shi's first trial ago
Chapter 22. Family. ago
Chapter 23. The plot thickens ago
Chapter 24 Weapons! ago
Chapter 25 T-R-I-A-L ago
Chapter 26 Inside the cave. ago
Chapter 27 Resolve for the future. ago
Update - Next Chapter will be done ether this evening or friday. ago
Chapter 28 - The flowing of time. ago
Chapter 29 Friends. ago
Chapter 30 Fu Tengfang and the Twins ago
Chapter 31 Shameless! ago
Chapter 32 Closed "Door" Cultivation ago
Chapter 33 Enlightenment (edited) ago
Update - Next Chapter sometime tomorrow, still no internet. ago
Chapter 34 The plot thickens (2) (Unedited) ago
Chapter 35: The next Realm! (unedited) ago
Chapter 36 Ning Yu. ago
Chapter 37 - Fox Nap. ago
Chapter 38: Tails and Fire. Redone. ago
Chapter 39 The problems of Li Zhi ago
Chapter 40 Core Treasure. ago
(Please read)Update, may take a break to actually force myself to rewrite things ago
Chapter 41. Ice and Fire. ago
Chapter 42 Yun Kou returns! (Unedited) ago
Questions from the Author. ago
Chapter 43 Fathers and Daggers. ago
Chapter 44 - Kou's first win. ago
Chapter 45. Li Zhi exhausts herself. ago
Chapter 46. stalagmites and stalactites ago
Chapter 47. Ice-Slide and the plot thickens. ago
Update (Again.) Good news :D ago
Chapter 48. Rewards and Problems. ago
Chapter 49. Willpower. ago
Chapter 50 The "Grand" Escape. ago
Chapter 51 Goodbye (Arc 1 done.) ago
Chapter 52 Island Arc. The beginning. ago
Chapter 53 Island life ago
Chapter 54. Xiong the Bear. ago
Chapter 55. Bone-spear vs Apes. ago
Chapter 56. The Ice-Flame. ago
SS1. The Outer Sect War. ago
Chapter 57 Flood Dragon ago
Chapter 58 Light Lake. ago
Chapter 59. Climbing the ladder. ago
Chapter 60: Burning the forest down is not a good idea. ago
Chapter 61 - Adventure Abduction. ago
Chapter 62 Shangguan Chen ago
Chapter 63 Contains bear puns. ago
The Picture is done. The Chapter is not. ago
Reviews

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Niurn
  • Overall Score

Good writing takes time. Don't rush.

Good start but sadly the writing quicky goes to the drain. The first chapters are well written but the style devolves into a CN-translation writing by chapter 15 : one line paragraph, no effort on description, simplistic sentences, action favored over character development...

The first 3 chapters should set the tone for the rest of your story. You put some effort into it and should do the same for every chapter.

Story :

I like the statement of intent from the synopsis: "Many tropes of common cultivation novels are used.But there won't be any cheats." Sadly, our MC has a special and secret bloodline ... yeah, a cheat.

 

Zethuron
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A decent Xianxia , even if flawed

First of all, this may be in the same genre as Forge of Destiny, and use the same story of starting situation for the MC with them discovering the cultivation world and learning about all that falls under it while also using the same kind of setting, but the way the stories handle that and the overall plot, are completely different, and also, since they are both Xianxia stories, it is hard to not see related stuff in that genre.

The story starts with our nameless MC who is living in the streets, stealing to survive another day, doing something that she should have not done, leading to her talent for cultivation getting discovered and her getting conscripted into the sect, there she learns how to have a civilized lifestyle and gets her name, discovers the world of cultivation, and starts with her ascent to immortality, having many encounters on the way, both good and bad.

The grammar is okay and readable, but there are just large flaws, in multiple chapters, there are words missing, typo's, simple mistakes still in the chapters. There are chapters that are still not edited, 2 months after being posted, which honestly saddens me a bit. There are also issues with puncuation, but they are rather small compared to the glaring grammar problems this story has.

The writing style of the author is rather good, if one does atleast not look at all the issues with grammar, but there are still problems with it. There are some weird sentences, the pacing changes a lot throughout the story, sometimes it goes seriously fast, skipping a lot of things.

This could be a good story, if the author spent some time on editing the mistakes out of the story and improving the spelling, though even if all those flaws are fixed, this story clearly cannot compete with  Forge of Destiny, though should be atleast a fine story to read, even if it wont be perfect.

So for anyone interested in reading this, this story is for you if you like Xianxia. Be warned that the quality does highly vary, with some chapters being rather problematic.

 

This review is up to chapter 9, i have put my reading on hold due to the planned rewrite which will undoubtly improve the story a lot.

GLM
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First of all lets get the elephant out of the room. If you come across this story, there's a high chance you've come across Forge of Destiny, and the whole discussion that this novel is all too similar to that one.

They're not wholly wrong in my opinion, the start (till chap 20ish) is Painfully similar if you've read FoD before this novel, but it's more so a problem of both using the same common tropes for cultivation stories than actual plagiarism, as some people wrongfully claim.

Anyways the whole discussion is not worth going over, if you think that FoD is the better story it's OK, I would agree with you since the Author there is clearly much more experienced and that story has some of the best characterization I've seen period. BUT this didn't take away from my enjoyement of this story, since Xiu Mei suceeded in putting her own twist in Broken Chains, one that I found wholly enjoyable.

So lets start with the actual review, shall we?

I'm gonna assume you've already read xianxia stories, since they're so mainstream now, they're basically the chinese equivalent of japanese Isekai stories, overused and saturated to death, reincarnated, then trasmigrated into another universe, then became the Everlasting Great God of Cliches, Saint of Repetition, so I'm gonna assume you're familiar with their concepts.

Broken Chains is a pure Xianxia Story, it doesn't do anything awfully different from the mold, and that's OK, because you'd likely have to include Qi being originated by the tears of Undead Zombie Unicorns FROM SPACE, for it to be different enough from the concept; And while originality is nice, using a know concept and making it good is perfectly fine too. 

I like Broken Chains because of the characters, (well character), The MC Yun Kou, and the cutesy vibe she gives off, activating all the protecc genes. 

The story starts fine, I found the start particularly good, then my interest dropped a bit when she got to the sect because that part was basically Cultivation 101, and I've seen it a thousand times, then my interest returned once she starts dabbling with her bloodline. And that is where I believe most people dont give this story a chance, The Sect Sequence is boring and full of overused cliches, but it gets much better after chapter 21.

Anyways what I like the most in this story is the cutesy vibe Xiu Mei pulled off with the MC, and while not original, the story is fine too, since most other Xianxias go with the Become the most OP existence possible power fantasy plot, having a story focused around a cute fox-girl that isn't the strongest and her exploits in a cultivation world is perfectly enjoyable to me.

I must say that the grammar isn't the best though, the author is not too experienced but makes efforts to fix and improve her writting, so be warned.

If you like Xianxias try this one out, it's good, it's cute, and it's worthwhile  for a binge read in my opinion.

 

Dos
  • Overall Score

Good beginning

Intresting take on the junera Grammar and editing could definitely improve. 

Mc is a Young street smart girl, that brakes caricature every once and a while. 

Ringostrauss
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Enjoyable read, Fun diversion

The difference between something I want to read and something I don't is personality.  This novel provides characters that I can hear talking, and visualize.  While it does have some issues with editing, they do not detract too heavily from the experience.  I appreciate you sharing this novel with us and look forward to the continued adventures of Yun Kou. 

Some of your grammar issues could probably be fixed with a grammar editing program some of which are free, also you've had a few spelling mistakes that almost any spell checker will catch. I would honestly give this 3 stars for grammar except to balance for some ridiculously low reviews for no reason.

Having read both this and Forge of Destiny, while both draw from the same genre this is definitely not plagiarized.

eersc
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Slice of Life Xianxia

Firstly, I've not read Forge of Destiny yet let me put it out there.

The Good:

Story & Style:

The story seems original enough but heads up it reads more like a Slice of Life Japanese LN in a Xianxia setting than anything else.

The Bad:


Grammar:

The Grammatical mistakes and Typos in this is very strange. It almost seems like the author wrote this novel using Speech to Text and Alexa kept screwing up the words. I'm not even sure how to explain it. It's kind of immersion breaking.

Characterisations:

The story takes a very much telling rather than showing apporach for the characters. And its confusing because the characters dont act like what they are said to be.

It's like there's a square hole and you're handed a roung peg, but repeatedly reminded its square and not round peg. But everytime you try and put the peg into the hole you realise it doesn't fit.

I'm sorry if the review is overly harsh, it's not meant to be but I've read up to chapter 40 and it's the impression I was left with. The author seems affected by the community's reaction, so I am sorry if this demotivates you, please ignore it and carry on clearly other people like your work and im a detractor. ^^

sedwolf
  • Overall Score

Creative story, don't be discouraged

 Don't give up on this novel; so far it has a very creative premise, even if it's similar to other Wuxia novels. I'm reading both this and forge of destiny, and, while they have similar cultivation systems, it's clear that this novel is not just some knock off. Great job, could use a little more depth as far as characters' personalities go, but that will probably come with time. Needs some serious editing though, especially the earlier chapters. 

Review after chapter 27

proofreader
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A breathe of fresh air to cultivation. 

A lovely author who brings a breathe of fresh air to the world of cultivation. 

The story is a blend of all of our favorite Cultivation tropes, without all the minuses. The characters actually grow alongside the story, and our MC is not all powerful or incapable of making mistakes. 

The author admits she not a native speaker, and in general the many mistakes [sorry] do not distract from the story. In fact, since it was orginally written in Englsih, the writing comes off far better than any of the major W/X series readable as translations.

If you like culivation novels, then you will soon find happy here. 

Last Plan
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A good cultivation novel - NOT Forge of Destiny

This novel is actually quite good, although the author could use a bit of grammactial help. I understand that they are not a native english speaker, but that doesn't change the fact that some editing could really improve the novel. Focus on grammar, and all aspects of the novel will get better. There are a few times where the author uses a correctly spelled word, that isn't what they wanted to use. (Example: in the bottom author's note for chapter 28, summery is used for summary. The first is an adjective referring to the season of Summer, and the second is a noun referring to a shortened description of events or conversation.)

As the title states, this is NOT Forge of Destiny. So far, there has been essentially zero politics, and while there are similarities between the two, that does not make them the same.

Aspects that are similar:

  • The MC is female, young, and from the slums.
  • It's a cultivation novel.
  • The MC uses darkness elemental techniques.
  • She has a friend that uses fire techniques.
  • Choice of elements affecting the user.
  • It takes place in a sect for most of the currently written chapters. (until 28 so far)
  • The MC is a thief.
  • Both novels have a fairly standard (with some twists) cultivation system.
  • Both have Qi, with elemental variations.
  • Body and Spirit cultivation for martial arts and magic, respectively.
  • Cultivation is broken into tiers, levels, and grades.
  • Said tiers, levels, and grades are labled with colors/metals/numbers/wishy-washy-mumbo-jumbo . . . like every other cultivation novel.
  • Spirit stones being Qi batteries.
  • Both MCs have a spirit mentor.
  • There are trials that are dangerous, but if one is successful provide fortune and glory.
  • There is a ban on open conflict for the early part of the story in the sect.
  • They both attend classes on both types of cultivation.

Things that are different:

  • Ling Qi (MC of Forge of Destiny) uses wind, ice, moon, and music techniques as a major part of her arsenal.
  • Kou has a bamboo flute (mentioned only in one sentence) and has never played it.
  • Kou uses Light techniques, and none of the other elements or types.
  • Kou has no spirit companions/pets/pokemon.
  • Kou has a bloodline that she is unlocking, and Ling Qi has no special bloodline.
  • Kou's spirit mentor is her grandmother, Ling Qi has no relation to her mentor.
  • Ling Qi has a family, let alone a relationship with them. Kou does not.
  • Kou behaves in a consistent manner, Ling Qi seems to have multiple personality disorder at times. (due to the Quest medium)
  • Forge of Destiny has elements of romance, Broken Chains does not.
  • Kou has friends, but is not an employee/subordinate of any of them.
  • Forge of Destiny has a heavy theme of clan politics, and Broken Chains does not.
  • Ling Qi fights fellow disciples quite a lot, actually, and Kou has barely fought any people.

Shared elements that are from the shared genre:

  • It's a cultivation novel.
  • The MC uses elemental techniques.
  • Choice of elements affecting the user.
  • It takes place in a sect for most of the currently written chapters.
  • The novels has a fairly standard (with some twists) cultivation system.
  • The novel has Qi, with elemental variations.
  • Body and Spirit cultivation for martial arts and magic, respectively.
  • Cultivation is broken into tiers, levels, and grades.
  • Said tiers, levels, and grades are labled with colors/metals/numbers/wishy-washy-mumbo-jumbo . . . like every other cultivation novel.
  • Spirit stones being Qi batteries.
  • MC has a mentor that is a spirit/old geezer in a rock/can/ring/sword.
  • There are trials that are dangerous, but if one is successful provide fortune and glory.
  • There is a ban on open conflict for the early part of the story in the sect.
  • Disciples of sects attend lectures and classes on various types of cultivation and professions.

With some edits (mostly plurals), the shared-genre-list is a copy of the first list apart from THREE lines! The first list is 17 bullets long, the third list is 14 bullets long, and the second is 12 long. There are four times the differences just in my short lists than there are similarities between the two novels, if you remove all the genre related points. Saying they're the same novel is like saying that every fantasy novel after Tolkien is ripping off the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Sure, because they have solitary (or small groups of) heroes, dragons, and magic means they are similar. That's part of what the fantasy genre refers to!

whitevirus
  • Overall Score

I truly love your story hope you continue. I like that the caractere fell alive and not all killer