My World To Live
Essairyn had never felt truly alive on Earth. It felt like something was missing ever since she was born, but even after nearly 20 years of mundane living, she could never pinpoint what this or the emptiness in her heart was.
Suddenly, she awakens in a grandiose, primordial forest and encounters both demons and spirits in a parallel world called Sol'h'meyr. She befriends, in particular, a sassy fox-spirit named Akari who just reincarnated after three millennia.
Essairyn is an abnormal human with elemental powers, and Akari is being chased by those of her dark past. Together, they set out on an adventure in a world of magic, danger, mystery, and intrigue.
But this not a game. That simple adventure is actually the modest beginnings in a chain of disruptions that tear even the dimensional fabric of time and space. No one, not even Essairyn, was who she thought she was. And not even the gods can change the destiny of the universes...
A single promise shook eternity’s existence.
— Fantasy || Adventure || Romance || Action || Mystery || Drama || Science Fiction —
The My World To Live (MWTL) series, the alternative short name is Canaan, is comprised of three books symbolically named My World, To Live, and My World To Live.
Two years prior, the entire story had been planned and detailed out from start to finish before actual writing. Thus, the story will never be dropped.
While the genre is largely Fantasy, the book is comprised of many other elements including a School Life (Magic Academy) story portion. MWTL has a lot of scattered symbolism and allusions, hence, the mystery aspect. The science fiction elements progressively become more pronounced, and the slow romance is a late bloomer. The female lead is strong and independent, and her backstory and identity unravel as drivers of the plot. Expect lots of action/fighting throughout and scattered philosophical and psychological themes arising. It's a human journey to find the essence of one's living and purpose. What kind of world do I wish to live for?
Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I hope to share the journey with you~!
Canaan's Original and New Covers: If you're curious about my art and the various covers I made for this series and other authors, I have a RR thread that makes free covers and shows art processes.
[October 1, 2020 Notice:
Hello, I aplogize to all followers for suddenly taking an extended hiatus. Life threw a lot at my face and then the pandemic happened, so I hadn't been able to write until around the last month when I decided to challenge myself and finish the first book in this series. I am ok now, and thank you for your patience and understanding. No words can express how much every reader means to me. RR was the first writing platform that I ever felt accomplished to any small degree, so I am forever grateful to it.
Multiples changes have been made since this final revision and writing of the ending, so please see the latest chapter detailing the update. This also includes my decision to submit this story to the 2020 Wattys contest (the deadline was Sept 30th). That means I will not be posting the updated version of this story on here until the contest is over (since I doubt I'll win anyway lol). And so, if you want to read the full, now completed (woohoo!) story, please go to my Wattpad. Thank you once again, and wishing you all the very best health and happiness! <3 ]
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Canaan isn't the best story on RR, but it's a very good one. One made better by the author's subtle commentary on modern life, deep and sensible thoughts, fleshed out world building and lore, and a surprisingly quirky magic system. It has some shortcomings, to be true, but those are covered by an otherwise enjoyable story that gets surprisingly deep at times, and unique even when it doesn't.
I don't know how to say this right, but the best way to sum it up is that the story is wish fulfillment. Not the way you think, though. It doesn't fullfil the author's wishes, but the main character's. While normally I can't bring myself to read Wish fulfillment/Power Fantasy stories, this one proved to be very different, and enjoyable. See the entire pretense of the story isn't about making you, the reader, feel awesome and badass, it's about doing that for the MC, and with the author's skills, it's pulled off. I'll get more into this later, but let me just say I was very pleasantly surprised when I put this together.
Also noticable were the datailed, vivid descriptions in the story. The author seems to have a knack for making you see scenes, not just words. Congrats for that.
Canaan is as I said above, wish fulfillment. A person living a boring life, but wanting more is thrown into a fantasy world and finds herself in possession of powers. I have to go a comment on the first chapter here. While normally, I know what's coming and speedread through these, this one more than held my interest. Mainly because of the main character's thoughts. Instead of going through a quick backstory or overly grandoise, flamboyant reasoning, it gave very real thinking to us.
Things like people adding a fictional layer of excitement to their lives by coming up with fantastic explanations and imaginations to every day situation was something that struck home with me. The very real descriptions of how growing up and having to hold down a job made things monotonous, how pursuits of enjoyment fell to the side before the almighty dollar gave a level of complexity I rarely see in Isekai.
The MC, freed from her boring life back home, now wants nothing more than damn adventure she slowly shelved away as she got older. She doesn't care that she's a tad OP, even though she recognizes it. No, she wants to get out there and explore, find that magic that faded from her life as she got older and the world closed in on her. I like this. I very much do. Not because of the premise itself, but just HOW the author presented it to the reader.
Truck-Kun's absence only further makes this story stand out. Instead of dying and reincarnating or whatever, the method is reminiscent of The Wandering Inn, and that seems to work well here. The subsequent events, while a little predictable, are still entertaining, and at times even surprise.
It also has a level of depth I've rarely seen in Isekai with it magic, ranking and monetary systems. It's obvious the author put a lot of thought and effort into this.
There are some such to points to critique, though. Unless time fluctuates, which might have been hinted at, why would a fox that has just reincarnated after three thousand years know what a 'game fanatic' is, even though some of the other people from Earth act like this? Just a little plotholes I found.
I actually have a little bit of critique for you here. While your style gets the job done, and your knack for vivid descriptions does you many favors, there are some weaknesses.
One, you dialogue feels somewhat simplistic at times, and better at others. Two, I have noticed a tendency for you to glaze over the smaller stuff and jump right to the big details. For instance, when Ess first goes branch hopping. Instead of showing things like her getting the hang of it, maybe being cautious, you go right to superhuman jumping. This could be explained as her still thinking it was a dream, but the narrative didn't suggest that, to me. Just pointing those out.
Solid. No obvious mistakes to me, and you have your basics down to pat. I also enjoyed your use of less known words, like lacsidasical ( prolly spelled that wrong ). It again shows you have a flair for being different and going into depth when required. Keep it up.
Huh. Good actually. Ess resonated very strongly with me, for some reason. Her subtle self-critiques and awareness of her own life, combined with a tions and attitude, generally made her a very likeable character. Rarely have I seen someone as self-aware, but not being too deep in an Isekai. She straddles the line perfectly, and has proven to be a smart cookie herself at times. She isn't brash, and surprised me at times. The scene with the nightstalker proved some of my expectations wrong for her, and in a good way. I say; Good Job.
Although, one could argue that Ess feels like anplot machine, never feeling in actual danger and saving that day, but this is countered by the self-wish fulfillment argument.
Akari is well fleshed out as well, although some readers will teether between liking her as the Cutepet of the series, or dislike her pettiness at times. Our other resident Earthling felt somewhat rushed though, with how fast he accepted being on another world. I like that you've already made the decision to deviate his path from Ess's later on, and show readers that the cast doesn't revolve around or is magically attracted to her.
Various other characters continue to show that you put effort into making them, and giving even the 'two chaps and never seen again' chars an fleshed out story.
This story has endeered itself to me in the short time I was reading it, and that's a good thing. It's a good, solid story that is surprisingly deep at times, gives us that sense of adventure at others, and rarely fails to amuse me when it tries. It might not be for everyone, but I found myself enjoying it as I read.
If you like lighthearted, adventurous fantasy with a dash of seriousness on the side, go ahead and give it a read.
This story is beatifully written and described, almost cerebral in its musings. The story is very much an isekai/portal story of a character getting dropped into a fantasy world, with LitRPG-lite elements (no stats so far, but with some elements of LitRPG genre). But unlike most stories like this, the author has created a true fantasy world rather than using a generic pseudo-Earth world. Indeed, the entire world has its own cosmology, economy, and political organization that is unique and well described. The people and creatures that populate it are unique and interesting, and the magic system is lushly detailed.
This story is a little heavy on info-dumping, with an entire chapter devoted to it at the end. It also does need a little work on dialogue, and the author could kill two birds with one stone by revealing some of this info in dialogue between the MC and the natives of this fantasy world. But the writing is so well done that this minor criticism is easily overlooked in light of how interesting the story is.
The MC is a whimsical, light-hearted person who laughs easily and is unapologetically feminine. I know this is an odd thing to say about a female MC, but so many stories have a female MC that acts like a man with boobs, or an angsty teen who is angry that she isn't treated like a man. This MC seems to embrace who she is while not having any trouble kicking ass when needed. This is refreshing and interesting, a perspective often lost in this genre. She actually reminds me of Delta from "There is No Epic Loot Here, Only Puns" dungeon core story here on RR.
Aside from her light-hearted demeanor, the MC still needs to show (as of this reading, Chapter five) how she will grow as a character. She figured out how to use magic easily, and is really overpowered against the foes she's faced so far. We don't know much of her background or what drives her, so I am looking forward to reading more.
The last thing I'd like to mention is that there are japanese light novel influences throughout. From the names and spiritology (is that a word?) to the stylized dialogue that emphasizes confusion in the conversation, the influence is clear and strong. I have noticed even over the first few chapters that the author is really finding her voice.
I expect that as the author gets more practiced and deeper into the story, all of the minor criticisms I've voiced will be improved, and the things that are great about this story will mature into a compelling, great novel.
Overal Score: 4.5
[This is review is posted as of reading up to Chapter Five - 3]
A rich and charming beginning to what will be a long series based on the three works the author has planned. Right off the bat, we are foreshadowed to a potentially bountiful world. It does have some LitRPG elements, however, they are a far more subtle background underpinning that is more in line with fantasy novels. The reincarnation element of our lead character Essairyn is stated boldly and with boisterous confidence from our second character; Akari. The characters are all off to a good start with clear motives; Explore for one and survive for another. I found myself running to the dictionary for many of the words she used, in one case many times in a chapter. The author is well versed in good descriptive words that anyone would benefit from adding to their writing lexicon. For instance, deciduous, which is a tree that sheds annually; which also implies long-lived. While there were some POV switches that were jarring and some rough dialogue here and there but these are minor critiques that can be fixed.
An overall enjoyable story. The blooming shoot of the story has started to grow.
Our lead starts off being whisked away from her crippled sickly life on Earth to an almost heavenly world. The initial forest she arrives at paints a picture of a very mystical and almost alien world, with massive trees and serene meadows, teeming with strange spiritual and demonic creatures. The list of terms, cities, places, people, and even currency come off as foreign and mysterious. Can you guess the eleuars' value on your first go? A pynce if you can! The magic itself implies there is a deeper set of rules than what is told right away. The tension between demons, humans, and spirits also implies a complex political environment.
There are only a few POV shifts that jar me from the story and a few rough pieces of dialogue. Now the good stuff. I was forced to look up many of the words used, something I don’t often do; and definitely not multiple times in a chapter. I applaud the author’s wordsmithing in this regard. Even with the simple (easily fixed) critiques, the articulation and eloquent writing give a rich fantasy picture. It gives a world I want to live in.
The main plot involves Essairyn exploring the strange world. I do expect the world she walks on to tromp like a nightstalker and abscond her on many adventures. The night is still young, the story is still growing and the author is still weaving her tale. As of where I left off, she is in one of many of the nations that may be explored.
Essairyn and Akari, magic girl and self-proclaimed fox god. They have a chemistry, with Akari being a ‘soft jerk’, implying more than the initial impression. Essairyn will need a bit more time to grow as the protagonist; this is normal. I see the potential as Akari acting as a narrative guide to both Essairyn and the audience; not to mention the banter. There is not enough to give a complete judgment on but that’s alright. With the way the author is going, it looks to be a wild magical ride.
Review as of after the rewrite.
Here's your review by The Reviewer:
I don't know if it was beacuse of the rewrite, but wow. I have to admit this is one of the best glance review's I've given so far. Everything is so well done that I would have made this review way earlier if I had known about this novel.
Styel and Story:
The way this is written is amazing. The vivid descriptions along with dazzling narration. The use of words was perfect, everything was in the correct spot it should be. Be it before, after or within a certain area. The intro into this novel let me visualize perfectly what was happening without giving any hints at what was going on.
Letting your readers understand a bit of the situation yet keep them anticiapating what would happen next. Reading this eloquent writing style and plot is something I honestly enjoy!
Grammar and Character:
Grammar is perfect. Nothing else can be said about that.
The only reason I took 0.5 off for character was because I personally enjoy reading male MC stories. Please don't hate me for this, it's just my opinion. The character development is paced just right, not too fast yet not too slow either. It's pretty realistic if you compared it to discovering more about a new friend.
That's it for this glance review, I promise that if I have some time later that I'll read more of this novel.
I always say this so don't pay it any mind, but I hope this review wasn't demotivating in any way! And I'm gone!
Note: Read the Prologue and first chapter. So not an extensive reading for sure, but I hope to bring a bit of fun and difference to things. Here goes:
Your prose, it is written with beauty
Words with such colour, so fruity
In your head must exist a thesaurus
Your word choice rings like a chorus
Such a wonderful descriptive setting
Propelled to your world my mind's jetting
Each sentence is constructed with awe
They each made me scream "I want more!"
At first I thought the story quite slow
I just needed things to GO
But then your things hastened
And I felt self chastened
They fell into place, domino!
My only negative would probably be language being a bit overly flowery in places. I think while the word choices were beautiful, simplicity has its place.
This is a great story. In Canaan it isn't as simple as having a character that lives in a world that revolves around them where the reader feels as if they are an ultimate powerful being. It is a story with characters that have a personality which aren't robotic and flat, instead they feel alive.
The story is written in a way that makes the reader able to vividly imagine the surroundings around them due to the discriptive writing style of the author. It gives the reader the ability to step into a different world.
As of this review, based on the first arc of Canaan, the story is progressing at a good pace neither fast nor slow. The life of the characters are given 'life' and aren't stuck on a 2D like world. Actions done by them bring excitement and flavor to the story.
What I like most is the subtle yet very clear foreshadowing of future events that will occur in the story.
Certainly one of the best I have encountered on rr and your use of words I have never heard of or seen used in everyday grammer, helps me imove my English a lot. English is my third language.
I like this aspect the most of this story, as I mentioned before the character aren't flat and have a personality that they own and no one else. They are fleshed out, so fleshed out I would call them...Thicc.
(If you haven't noticed yet I'm not good at reviews, I suggest reading L NIMBUS his review which is really good and strikes the main points of this story as I can't clearly convey it)
I like the opening paragraph, it starts off with a close-up view of the raindrops and then the frame zooms out to show the whole window.
The writing quality is extremely good. The author has used great descriptions and rich vocabulary. The author has used all five senses and the readers are able to vividly imagine each scene. The imagery is simply wonderful, and the thoughts of the protagonist are realistic and understandable - eg. Worrying about the water from the cars splashing on her clothes.
I really like the way the author transitioned to the new world. It was really beautiful and not too sudden either.
I really like how the author ended the prologue - it was philosophical and thought-provoking.
It's interesting how the story changed from first-person to third-person.
I like the sudden burst of power and climax when the protagonist realises that she wants to live. This is a turning point for the protagonist where her character develops - although I feel that this occurs very early in the story.
Because the whole story is very detailed, it makes it seem very real and alive.
I feel that the protagonist learned magic very quickly - it is clear that the protagonist is very talented and the improvement of her skills in magic is not a major part of the story, but I think that the protagonist's encounter with magic could be more thoroughly described.
I like how the author lets the readers experience many magical feelings - especially the floating part - it lets the readers experience things that they can't in reality.
I feel that Akari seems to know a bit too much about Earth - the information comes to her very easily.
There is a lot of imagery and that is splendid, but I can't visualise any major problems or difficulties. The world is very beautiful and fascinating, but there isn't a path extending forwards. The protagonist was transported to a new world, so none of her previous problems (family matters, work problems, etc.) are there.
Overall, this story has brilliant description and is interesting and engaging to read.
"This lack of ambition, no, this suffocation of ambition hindered down by realizations of my true reality and tucked away as if I had none perhaps had started since that day…"
"as if I had none perhaps" - when reading this part of the prologue, I felt that the sentence was a little long-winded.
"It was a red light, and I waited for it to turn green or for a good break in the passing cars"
The two clauses didn't really match up -
Example(completely random): "I couldn't decide whether I wanted to wear a pink dress or go use my laptop"
It was a bit confusing to read. From what I understood, it implied that the character was going to either wait or jay walk. However, my first impression was that they meant the same thing - waiting for a good break in the traffic would mean that the cars would stop coming and the light would turn green.
Excerpt from chapter 1 -
"Her eyes flickered somnolently open at the rising discomfort and unfamiliarity of her surroundings."
It might flow better if it was "flickered open somnolently" instead of "flickered somnolently open"
Excerpt from chapter 1 -
"They were a distorted reality where the surroundings shifted from place to place as opposed to palpably walking though space."
I think there was a typo with "though space"
Excerpt from Chapter: Determination
"All her attachments to everyone and everything she had ever known—it couldn’t be easy abandoning your entire life."
I agree with the statement, it's not easy abandoning your whole life. However, there was not much detail about the protagonist's good memories/feelings towards her old life, so it doesn't really match up.
Excerpt from Chapter: Illumination
"but it likely that at least for those on Earth, they may never know unless a portal existed."
I think there was a typo with "but it likely"
Excerpt from Chapter: Illumination
"Fleetly flustered by its sudden descent, Essairyn hurriedly softened the impact by casting what she thought was going to be a net but turned out to be a magic circle."
I think the dictionary meaning of 'fleetly' is fast and nimble movement. Maybe it isn't that suitable to use in this context?
Excerpt from Chapter: Encounter
"Although she almost lost him density of the undergrowth, she could leap over any obstacles."
I think there is meant to be another word between 'him' and 'density'.
Good job author😊
It is rare, very very rare that someone changes my mind. Let me start by saying that I am not a fan of LitRpgs, in fact, I hate them, and think they are used as a shortcut, a sort of crutch that people rely on in order to not have to describe. For example, it is easier to tell someone that a person's stat went up a point, oh look he now has +1 strength, instead of describing how exactly he got stronger, etc. I thought LitRpgs all sucked, and would never or could never be good.
This novel proved me wrong.
it doesn't have too many LitRpg elements, and that is a plus if you ask me, but even should it have charts and graphs and what have you I wouldn't mind, you see the author is descriptive. So descriptive in fact that I see people complaining about the large long paragraphs and what not. You won't hear me complain about that, this is more of a novel than a web fiction, and like those it has what people refer to as info dumps, but those people are idiots who have the attention span of goldfish, who aren't entertained if there is no action going on and things are just being described.
So don't listen to them, what we have here is an isakei/Litrpg that finally finally understands that it needs to be descriptive, to have fully fleshed out characters that feel like they have a personality and their lives didn't just start when the author wrote the first page.
All in all, I am glad I found this one and will be following it to see if the author can get the three books done.
Style & Grammar
The author made a remarkable work in his prose at the time of immersing the reader in the fictitious world, using a vast and rich vocabulary that paints a universe full of life and color, although at times it can prove a bit overwhelming. At the same time, it is difficult to come across grammatical errors or typos that would get in the way between the reader and the fantastic universe.
Story & Characters
This is where the greatest strength of this story becomes its greatest weakness. The approach of the author in the construction of his fictional world from a sensory experience exposes the lack of strong conflicts that allow the plot to take flight. The characters, on the other hand, look acceptable enough for what the novel proposes. The protagonist does stand out thanks to her light-hearted nature and her connection with the world and those with whom she bumps into along her journey. In other words, it's the ideal protagonist for the story the author wants to tell.
This is one of those novels that captures you because of its mystic nature and its air of escapism rather than its plot. Those looking for a fast-paced and page-turner story should refrain from giving it a try. On the other hand, those who seek to explore a fantastic and vivid literary universe will enjoy this proposal without second thoughts.
From the very start of the first chapter, the descriptions already blew me away. The more I read, the more I sunk into this imaginary world that the author created. The vivid imagery and descripions are so beautifully written that it feels like a crime not to leave a review, so I made an account just to review this.
The dialogues between characters are cute and leave me feeling like they're like real people instead of falling flat. Particularly, I adore the main character Ess and Akari's interactions the most.
Not only that, the fight scenes also drew me in and made me root for the MC. It's not often that I get to feel something like this, and most fights usually come across as bland and unimaginative, but something about the way that the author wrote their fight scenes made me feel inspired.
As far as I can tell, there are no problems with the grammar or punctuation, which I admire a lot. The author's style of writing really suits my taste, and makes me want to read more. I finished everything in a single go (sadly).
Hoping to read more soon. Thank you for your work!