Ancient Fangs: Birth

by soloflyte

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Horror Anti-Hero Lead Grimdark Low Fantasy Strong Lead Supernatural War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

SYNOPSIS

 

Vampires don’t exist. That’s what Jake knew. Until that fateful night in a dark alley. Now a rogue half-breed, he will know more than he wanted about the hidden world of the inhuman predators who changed his life. And he will have his mortality back, even if he has to destroy them all.

With the suspect assistance of a mysterious benefactor, his desperate journey for salvation will take him to the demonic myths of the distant past, lead to war with various vampire clans, deadly battles with different species of their kind, and test his unique skills as never before.

Cover image used under license/All Rights Reserved.2019

 

Warning:

Violence, gore, nudity, bad language, and some scenes of a sexual nature (not graphic, but still...). Non-twinkling vampires. FOR MATURE READERS ONLY.

 

NOTICE TO READERS (20 May 2019):

The final version of the story is now going to be submitted to Amazon KDP which requires that not more than 10% of its content be available elsewhere. The published version is longer at 57,000 words (per app word count) and will be released earlier than the 31 May 2019 schedule.

 

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Dave
  • Overall Score

A good book to read. Gritty, realistic action mixed with vampires, and possible other myths. No pandering to politics in this, it’s raw, sensual and violent. Looking forward to more chapters.

Krixus
  • Overall Score

good pacing and a fresh concept that has been well executed, can recommend.

Cestarian
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Starts well but has flaws

I read all 39 published chapters (volume 1 and 2). The story is about a veteran who gets involuntarily turned into a half vampire, unsatisfied and seeking ways to regain his humanity he proceeds to massacre his way through the vampire community of his hometown. In other words, the entire premise is more or less like Blade. A vengeful half vampire making it his life's duty to eradicate all vampires.

This is all pretty well and good, the action is pretty nice and it's all rather decently done.

The problem is in what the story lacks. While it has good, mostly believable characters, it is actually severely lacking in characters. The only characters for the entire 39 chapters were the protagonist, his mysterious benefactor (and by mysterious I mean he only makes 1 or 2 appearances, says a few lines, and disappears, not really much of a character yet), and his enemies.

There are no other characters in the story, the guy does not have an assistant, not a girlfriend, not even a fucking friend, so the entire story is just this guy going around alone against an entire vampire community killing everything in his path (albeit in an organized fashion rather than haphazardly, like I said it's pretty decently done) and that's it, there's nothing more here. No noteworthy side characters, no noteworthy sideplot, no nothing, just a guy killing vampires.

Which would be quite good for a movie (though even John Wick has more characters despite being essentially the same thing, if you replace vampire communities with criminal ones), but it's not as exciting to read.

Despite this and the subpar grammar (some basic mistakes ranging from 'speeded' instead of 'sped' and misspelling of thermite as thermate, to more serious ones like the name of the one minor character that appeared at some point and gets mentioned a few times arbitrarily changing, at first it was Aelia and then it's Amelia...) the story was enjoyable to read, it's definitely higher quality than your average royalroad story, but like I said, I've found it lacking, it's clearly still amateur writing. A good attempt but no cigar.

PS: Vampires were a bit too sparkly for my tastes, there's some World of Darkness influences in there (I think...) but the first vampire encounter has the hollywood style 'blur' instead of plainly visible movement. Something I have only really seen in 'twinkly vampire' shows. Now that I think of it, there haven't really been any other vampire abilities than speed and strength and regeneration... Kinda lacking in imagination.

chazzi
  • Overall Score

A unique and original Vamp Fic

Just want to preface this by stating I thorougly enjoyed this and read it entirely in one sitting.

This book/story, has taken a mix of tropes, mythology and other media and created an orignal vampire tale, though does contain familar elements to other works.

The action is fast paced and hard hitting, generally logical and flows.

The gore level feels appropriate to the story (though warning here to those who don't enjoy it).

The world building was interesting and tasty....

The main character was satisfactually explored (Though a little bland) but suits the fast pace the story takes.

The supporting characters were minimal and or engmaitc (plot reasons i guess).

The opposing cast was sufficiently villainous, Though I feel they were not brought to full diabolical potential, perhaps later entries.

(this for the author) Only one real annoyance plot wise, The mc went through a window twice and was 'overpowered' by two different female characters, this felt a little repeative. Also why not use the equivalent of javaline, stinger or sam missle on the bosses hotel upper floor?

 

Thank you to the author for another interesting tale/world to enjoy :D

ArmouredWizard
  • Overall Score

And I just reached the climax

and the chapter was removed. Well at least you got a purchase form me I must see how the last few chapters end.