The General Core {The Sphere}

by Andar

Original ONGOING Fantasy Dungeon Grimdark High Fantasy LitRPG Portal Fantasy / Isekai Strategy
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

The life cycle in the Sphere is on the brink of collapse because one of its elements, the Dungeons, have been exploited too much by the mortals.

The group who created the Sphere already tried and failed with several modifications, because the original computer-like dungeon cores are too inflexible to handle changing approaches. So they try another type of solution – taking souls from other worlds to try to find a solution before the Sphere Cycle breaks down completely.

The General was one of the best soldiers of his world, rising from the ranks of a private through Officer School to the highest command with honors. But when his world faced a zombie apocalypse, even that was not enough and he had to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Now he is asked for a repeat performance of planning and controlling a dungeon and its spawns in a world that he knows nothing about…

 

But what is the Sphere really? What is that [Xenotic conversion] he has to go through to even enter the Sphere? Something is really strange and he will have to find out what is going on to get to his promised rewards – whatever they will be.

 

Being a soul in a dungeon core means that the General has better chances of finding hints to the truth about the sphere – a knowledge that would help him survive. And no, the sphere is NOT a virtual reality – the key to its secrets is the place where it was physically constructed (Author’s hint).

 

This is a dungeon core story - but there are quite a number of things that I will do differently than common to those stories.

1) I will describe the floors when they are explored, NOT when they are build.

Yes, that will mean it will take longer to get to those parts - but I think describing floors both when they are build and when they are explored destroys quite a lot of chances for suspense when adventurers enter the dungeon. After all, if you as the reader already know where the traps are, then you can't really be surprised when the surfacers encounter them.

2) How the world works (and how not) is an integral part of the story, so it will be explained

I'm a world-builder first and the Sphere is NOT a regular world (as hinted in the synopsis above). Things will work differently than in your 08/15 default dungeon core stories - as the General and Gunny have already learned in the second arc (and more of that is already scheduled for the next weeks (July/Aug 2019) when the Sky Arrows continue to explore and evaluate that strange dungeon)

If you don't like these premises, then I'm sure you'll find a lot of other Dungeon Core stories more to your liking. But if you are interested in more than "Dungeon builds another room and corridor in medieval earth" and are not afraid of a longer and slower story, then go on.

 

I have two more stories in the Sphere, although they both have lower priority than this one:

Shaleen the Wanderer (Adventurer, NSFW) (not yet started)

Info's on the Sphere (System Docu and Short Stories) (irregular updates when needed)


Current Status will always be reported in the first (status) chapter, the story begins in the second publication line. Expect publication each Monday, average 2K-3K words per release/week. Synopsis partially updated 18th July 2019.

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Author
Andar

Andar

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Buffer/Info/Status Topic (updated 25th September 2019) ago
1.1.1 Before the Sphere ago
1.1.2 The Goddess Bareen (V2) ago
1.1.3 The Sky of the Sphere (V2) ago
Interlude 1.1: The Idiot ago
1.2.1 Learning the Basics (V2) ago
1.2.2 Gods and Titles and unwrapping gifts (V2) ago
1.2.3 Preparing for the Dungeon (V2) ago
1.2.4 The General’s Class (V2) ago
1.2.5 Gaining Templates (V2) ago
1.2.6 Touchdown (V2) ago
Interlude 1.2: The Sky Arrows ago
1.3.1 Gunny Parkinson and the first floor ago
1.3.2 The Meeting - Plans for Opening ago
1.3.3 The Meeting - Plans for the Future ago
Interlude 1.3: The Opening (Guild P-o-V) ago
2.1.1 The Forest and the Lake ago
2.1.2 Blackmoss (Gunny PoV) ago
2.1.3 Rural Necromantic Country ago
2.1.4 Results of Scouting and Gathering ago
Interlude 2.1 The Bridge ago
2.2.1 Exploring the [safe] floor (Guild PoV) ago
2.2.2 Picking up the Pieces (multiple PoV) ago
2.2.3 Mapping Hell, First Half (Sky Arrows PoV) ago
2.2.4 Mapping Hell, Second Half (Sky Arrows PoV) ago
2.2.5 A Watery Floor (Sky Arrows PoV) ago
2.2.6 Water is a good Defense - NOT ago
AN: About the Sphere ago
Interlude 2.2 The Rogue Contract ago
2.3.1 Sanity is overrated, anyway (Sky Arrows PoV) ago
2.3.2 Deeper into the Dungeon (Sky Arrows PoV) ago
Sorry for the delays (upd 25th sep 19) ago
2.3.3 On the Surface (Gunny PoV) (INCOMPLETE) ago
Reviews

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KoboldPatrol
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Well written and interesting dungeon core story

(as of chapter 2.2.1, i.e. the 22nd chapter)

Somebody dies and is reincarnated as a dungeon core, then proceeds to build floors and summon monsters before being discovered by adventurers while blue boxes show increasing numbers? Yes, that's one of the fundamental parts of RRL. In the case of 'The General Core', the person was a successful general and his dungeon placement is special: there are four entrances in four different (and mutually hostile) countries that teleport visitors to the same small floor (the reason for this is important but that would be a spoiler). Now, fellow reader, buckle up and prepare for a four-way war where the battlefield gets all the spoils...

Style: The story is told in present tense in third-person style by an omniscient narrator. The point of view mainly follows the dungeon core but additional POVs (following monsters ranging outside of the dungeon, adventurers, ...) are soon added. The flow of the narration is smooth and makes the reading easy. The number of blue (and yellow) boxes is a bit high in the early chapters but it seems to adjust to a non-obtrusive level after a while.

Story: The pace is rather slow as in many stories where dungeon building is a main focus. Preparation for the dungeon's construction takes almost a dozen chapters and the other events also don't rush. The descriptions are quite detailed, making you feel almost at home in the dungeon.

Grammar: Good.

Characters: The general indeed seems to have been good at his job as he uses advanced strategies and tactics for his dungeon set-up and monsters. He makes good plans and uses his options in a fruitful way. After creating his monsters he starts to build up a friendly relationship with them. His boss monster is not only loyal but also smart, making well-calculated decisions while outside of the communication range. The other monsters couldn't show much personality yet but they also behave in a useful way.

In total, while this story is not one that re-creates the genre or surpasses all expectations, it is very well written and so far it has the right mix of exciting action and relaxed descriptions. I'm looking forward to reading more of it.

Victor DoUrden
  • Overall Score

Don't bother until revised

Written on phone so might be mistakes.

I have seen some really bad terrible complete shit starts and this is by far not the worst but it is definitely up there. The summary is shit cause it implies a special person better than everyone else which in turn means OP character which in turn mean a awful writing. Always a terrible start. The actual story does not even exist until a solid few chapters are skipped. No competent or sane reader will instantly give a damn for extreme tedious workings and info dumps about something they have zero investment in. No characters or world build up or any sort of introduction is done before blindly dumping tables and nonsensical info. Author if you actually serious about a slow start then rewrite the entire start and don't blast off faster than Team Rocket via inane info dumps. The writing is fine, but the start is so awful... but due to the possible potential I felt compelled to type this out. 

The effort of thought is very visible but with all the inane table and numbers you're just going to burn yourself out. It seems as if your going as if making some dnd campaign but unlike dnd where the content plus context and all are already there. People joining already have investment or know. Just throwing tables every damn chapter is not how to go about writing.

callmesteve
  • Overall Score

One of the best dungeon stories I've seen!

Okay, this is good. The setting is really unique, so I can't TVTropes my way through to figuring it out. It's set on some sort of artificial world where the gods seem to need dungeons to handle what seems to be an exponential energy cycle. Unfortunately, the people are too smart for their own good, so the dungeons need to have actual intelligences to prevent them from being farmed. Cue "reborn as a dungeon" story, with a twist. The protagonist is an experienced member of the military, and has plans upon plans...

The author has also adapted a "Now you see me" style of having the viewer only find out as the characters do, so we get an even better experience of the ploys that General uses. This has resulted in quite a lot of amusment and suspense, as the audience has to find out things only as the characters do. I won't spoil anything, but I feel very bad for the poor sods trying to map the place!

jonnnney
  • Overall Score

It could be a great story, but after an exciting prologue I am willing to over look two chapters of info dumps and needlessly verbose explanations. Unfortunately there were three info dumps out of the first 5 chapters. Author needs to realize that until I see an interesting narrative I don't give a fuck about the minutia of how their world works. It's a dungeon core story if the core isn't building by the 2nd chapter then it's gonna be a slog. It's disappointing since the prologue and interlude were interesting. 

Owlish
  • Overall Score

Lots of number crunching, probably less coming up

Pretty well written, currently needs to spellcheck the last chapter. Lots and lots of gamelit tables for the dungeon, but I suspect that may be less in the future.

Stephen Lewis
  • Overall Score

Chapter 2.3.1

First few chapters were a slog but after that it got better

Enjoy!ble writing style 

I'm a bit biased towards dungeon novels but this looks like it will be an enjoyable one

Tldr it's worth a try (very slow start)

EddyB
  • Overall Score

Brilliant Dungeon litrpg

This writer is a thinking world builder with decent writing skills. May need to not telegraph what he is doing, so much. But a very enjoyable beginning to a well planned story.

CrazyAbe
  • Overall Score

Good story so far, few issues

Very interesting, only issue I have with it is the usage of eye burningly yellow text in the status tables.