- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
Portals have opened throughout the world, their depths containing untold wonders. There are those who plumb the Deeps searching for treasure, Skills, or even Spells. These people are Delvers, the elite of Earth who come from the most common origins to the highest echlons of power. The world is witnessing the rise of those who are more than human, their actions, words, and deeds becoming legends that will be passed down through the Ages.
Unfortunately, Eve Smith missed out on all that fun since she was transported away from Earth right as the portals opened.
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
- Total Views :
- Average Views :
- Followers :
- Favorites :
- Ratings :
- Pages :
Leave a review
This started out fine, but the more I read the more I dislike it.
The starting premise was fun, and even the early powerups due to the brother figure were an interesting take.
But, NOTHING. EVER. HAPPENS. This is a power fantasy without conflict, there is no adversity, and there are no opportunities to show off all the awesome powers the MC bullshitted her way into.
That the MC devolved (and continues to devolve) into a increasingly duller psychotic nameless Xianxia side character is also incredibly frustating, and makes Eve even harder to relate to and root for. It feels like a badly written "grey" character that comes as more edgy than anything.
And don't even get me started on this Mind Controlling Succubus Wannabe lady that she "adopts" for no fucking reason when she was pratically murdering anything and everything that moved or not in a paranoid frenzy.(and that her other companions also apparently had a huge grudge for her family but its okay apparently?)
If anything this story should have villainous lead tag, there is only so much "rational decisions" (which are not rational at all but always somehow work out in a benefitial way) you can shove under being in a Xianxia world.
Overall it feels very discordant in what the story wants to acconplish, its a power fantasy where the MC doesn't get to show off and all potential interesting problems are resolved off screen.
I'd describe this story as an ever escalating power wank, which is a shame because I thought parts of it were well done. The powers and abilities the MC develops are actually pretty cool, but they don't feel earned. Everything is made as smooth and easy for the MC as posible.
The system and how it works don't feel very fleshed out. For something that important the author simply can't change rules on the fly.
The story is based around gaining power which, while a tried and true Royal Road classic, I find myself bored of.
The synopsis was interesting and drew me in. Sadly, a lot of points in the plot was just disappointing once they were revealed. Made the story too easy and just meh in my opinion.
The books from her brother, way too specific, and she is like oh just gotta follow it easy. Made it too easy.
Secondly her brothers identity is just wow overpowered. It just felt so boring. And with the system actually being scared of her brother just makes the story feel too silly.
Overall I would have prefered the brother just being a normal human and writing a more generic smaller book than the overpowered plot point he currently is. If that was the case I might have liked the story more.
But then the dog? inhabitants came and it kinda just felt more silly.
Dont review often so not too good at reviewing.
All in all if you're looking for an OP Female Lead this might be a decent choice.
The protagonist comes across as smart, driven and pragmatic. Those are all definitely traits I enjoy.
The biggest downside to me is unfortunately a spoiler:
At one point its revealed all the protagonists success come because the system is massively cheating in her favor to protect itself from her brother. Her accomplishments came easy so they already felt kind of cheap, but the fact that they're all due to family favor makes them feel extremely cheap which really hampers my enjoyment.
Adding insult to injury is every line where the brother gives essentially perfect advice for every given situation allowing the MC to avoid any thinking. This robs her of agency and further cheapens her accomplishments. Its less "female MC is smart and powerful" and more "female MC is given every possible advantage including exact steps to divine power by her OP brother"
Despite that major frustration, the story still warranted four stars though I may dock it down to 3 if the MC doesn't start standing on her own.
This story starts pretty nice, but the more I read, the less I like.
Others have listed some problems, like the fact that she gets forcefed power because of her brother, or that there's no real personality (apperantly she really likes Origami, which we learn ten chapters in while she gets paper powers two chapters. Can't be that important to her, then, eh?).
But for me, the worst was the attitude. It's got all the worst parts of Xianxia. The protagonist gets repeatedly, incessantly, told to act like a complete psycho. Murder everyone who knows about you, including the nonsentient ferrets (but not the wolves, those are apperantly cool?)! Kill people and everyone connected to the 13th generation (that's a thing that happens). Torture anyone you need.
It's childish edgeyness, Hard Men Making Hard Decisions While Hard.
It has an interesting idea, great grammar and good writing but there is absolutely nothing pushing the plot forward or anything that captures the readers attention other than unbelievably OP powers given for no reason every few chapters. Its pure power fantasy with a thin veneer of world building over the top to disguise it for a while. In terms of conflict and power levels, its already obviously going to be unbalanced and boring with little tension involved at all. There was alot of potential in exploring some of the mysteries involved in the story like how does her brother know this stuff? What is the system? Why has it arrived now? But she doesnt even seem to care at all until its literally spelt out later on.
It could have been really good, its got a lot of elements that i enjoy and the writings good but there is nothing at all interesting other than the fact she gets arbitrarily stronger when she's already strong enougn to be essentially invincible in her current situation. Maybe it changes later on but it doesn't seem to be heading in an interesting direction so im not sticking around to find out.
This is not great. A lot of the other reviewers have accurately captured many of the issues involving the protagonist's power level, and how that works into her as a character and how it affects the plot. And, by and large, there is little plot, though now RR is trailing far behind where the author has written out to. I don't really see where there is going and, so far, it's largely be a seriatim case of the protagonist encountering new people or environs and just steamrolling them.
That said, I am still reading it. So it has something going for it, but I don't know what. Probably regular updates. But I can't really recommend it to anyone else unless I know they have a niche fetish for this kind of thing.
Written after reading chapter 5.0
Style: The story starts out with a solid premise, and continues to build that premise as the story continues. The POV change chapters aren't infrequent, but are not sudden or intrusive, and hep build other characters beside the MC and their interactions. The power system is simple, however the MC gets rather overly powerful and competent too quickly for a progression based story in my opinion.
The style of the authors writing that bothers me most is how much they focus on female characters bodies and their sexuality. In a world where anyone can grow to inhuman levels of strength, having Charm and Water (in universe Water is seen as a good element to retain beauty) skills be the majority way to gain power as a woman seems, well, ridiculous.
Story: Although not written poorly, the story of this fiction (as of 5.0) is rather inconsequential. After a few chapters of exposition, the MC's only goal is basically to get stronger. There are minor objectives in order to accomplish this, but no overarching plot has been introduced. There is worldbuilding yes, but little of it impacts the MC. We have our MC hero, and her companions, but no antagonist or reason to follow her adventures. The story gets the Call to Adventure, and then seems to just continuously repeat the Meet the Mentor step of the Hero's journey.
Grammar: This novel needs some editing. Not a lot, most of the story is properly written. However about 5-10% of paragraphs have grammatical errors. Missing commas, run on sentences, places where it looks like the author wrote half a sentence and then wrote half of another sentence. Easily fixable but rather jarring. There are no spelling errors that I could see.
Character: I try not to be too critical on writing. It's hard! But the characters in this story (as of chapter 5.0) need to figure out their morals, get some backstory, and find a few more character traits. Spoilers for chapters past the first 10 or so.
The wolf pack has a long and deep history clearly, however the reader only hears about the very VERY recent past. At one point the Alpha does indeed explain some of their history to MC, however it is written exactly like that: "The Alpha explained some history to the MC." The reader is informed of very little.
The MC herself is written better. She has a history, and a character, with traits to go alongside that. But what exactly that character IS is used when it's convenient and when it's not? Skipped past in order to make numbers go up.
For example. Her brothers notes are shown by the author to have manipulated MC's mental state slightly, to allow her to accept violence in a calm manner. However at a certain point MC realizes this and doesn't particularly like it, but accepts that the past her needed it, but that her brother may not be morally upstanding. We later find out MC was involved in wiping out a secret military base of some kind, whether terrorist in nature or just another country is unclear. The base was used to train information gathering, and primarily used young women as teaching targets to satisfy the people in charge's sexual desires. MC wiped the base out in a technically illegal move, and was disgusted by the whole process. She also expresses distaste at murdering innocents and brothels at different points. But after settling down into a town in chapter 5, she allows her newest companion, who's abilities revolve around sex and assassination, to set up a school to teach orphans and young girls similar abilities. She does this in order to gain power over the male leadership of the town, and to ensure her victory, she proceeds to make competing women have "accidents." Non lethal ones, yes, but enough to essentially ruin their lives.
Overall, the MC's moral judgements seem to be whatever the writer feels is convenient, and changes when there isn't even a reason or need to.
The final issue I have with characters is the quantity. The author introduces way too many companion characters way too quickly, and hardly fleshes any of them out. The POV chapters do a decent job, but not enough.
This is all my opinion of course. To others, the experience may be significantly more enjoyable. However I personally don't recommend Los.
This story has everything i like in theory, in practice however, it's really hard to take seriously, it's bland, nothing happens outside of getting and upgrading abilities, it's not building up to anything, the main and only character (so far) has no personality.
The whole thing is a system soup, where the MC pats herself on the back for getting all of these god-like abilities with no effort or logical explanations.
So far it's hard to read, but there aren't that many chapters yet so that may be subject to change.
This is a very well written story. The story line is interesting and having a system that you can trade with is a new concept. I like the boggieman in the background. He gives you extra leway to add higher risk factors to keep it intereting. Keep up the good work.