A D-rank Adventurer's Bizarre Reincarnation
by Juun Jugo
In the Farcol Wastelands of Estellia Kingdom, a D-rank adventurer Ezio Walhein was killed by an S-rank dragon after stealing its precious divine artifact.
And in the Golden Dragon Sect's herb garden, a level 3 Mortal Realm Cultivator named Zheng Jin is slowly dying from his mortal wounds.
A wish to the heavens was made, and the multiverse's reincarnation wheel was disrupted.
Ezio, now inhabiting Zheng Jin's body, must survive in a completely different and unforgiving world, where the weak are prey for the strong!
Follow Ezio as he fights and schemes his way to his and Zheng Jin's dream—being the one above all!
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(Review up to Chapter 17. Some spoilers.)
I really like this premise but if I'm being honest the story as a whole doesn't really seem to follow it. The story's still in it's early stages so I want to be generous but the main problem is the main character. The main character is supposed to be a D-rank adventurer who gets dumped into the body of a low level cultivator. The author doesn't really give out much detail about the MC's original world, but regardless of that, this guy doesn't act like a d-rank adventurer at all. If I had to describe this guy in one word it would be smug. Whether it's a conversation or a fight he is always certain that things will go his way. And they usually do because this is a story and he's the main character. This isn't the kind of guy who's survived as a low rank adventurer through incredible wit and caution. This is the kind of guy who invents his own gimicky sword style that, for some reason, is still mildly impressive even in a world supposedly centered around martial arts. This is the kind of guy who blurts out lines like "Now then, let's dance...shall we?" when fighting against animals that thankfully can't understand how lame and generic he sounds. This is the kind of guy who meets the three people who murdered his old self and has the immediate reaction to taunt them and threaten to report them to the elders. Ignoring the facts that the only elder he's met so far literally almost killed him for breaking curfew, he has no proof that they attacked him so it's his word against three other people who seem to be more respected than him, and there are apparently no witnesses so they could probably just kill him again. All the while he has the audacity to think about how dumb these three are. Which is actually fair because they end up going along with everything he says.
All in all, the writing of the story really isn't particularly bad if you can ignore the fact that a good chunk of the dialogue is just him talking to himself. The premise and setting are very interesting and the pacing isn't too slow. The love interest is kind of generic and feels unnecessary but that's basically expected with this kind of story. This story should still be relatively enjoyable if you don't read into how lucky the main character is and if you ignore some of the more cringeworthy things he says to himself. It's definately better than most stories on this site even if it's nowhere near the best ones. I'd say it's worth a read to see if you like it.
A D-rank Adventurer’s Bizarre Reincarnation doesn’t feel like the piece of art I know it can be.
Immediately holding it back are consistent grammatical errors and odd style choices that are jarring even for the allowances afforded the upper 50% of titles on RR. We have tense shifts in the middle of paragraphs and multiple speakers in single paragraphs as the most egregious examples. I understand that this is a solo endeavor and that no author is perfect but given how many views the story has I’m certain that Juun can snag himself a worthy editor for free.
That being said, the fact that the errors are consistent speaks of a well-structured approach to writing that’s worth more than a little bit of merit. Should proper care be taken in future edits, large swaths of the novel’s problems will be eliminated with ease.
After the basic conventions are polished, the prose can taken through the next levels of cultivation. As it is, we get more of a blow-by-blow of events rather than an immersive look at the stage and its actors. In other words, it feels like we’re skimming the surface of everything that makes a great story. Internal monologues, worldbuilding, imagery; we need more of these. The Golden Dragon Sect rests on a drastically different realm than the one Zheng is used to. How do the foreign clothes feel like against Zheng’s skin? How does the architecture, social mores, and food differ from his home world? What does it feel like looking up at a distinctly unfamiliar sky dominated by alien constellations? (the later chapters address this somewhat but we still need true depth)
Due to the lack of meat, Zheng’s motivations feel weak even if they are valid. There’s little to help us empathize with his situation. It’s hard to feel his shame or anger at being looked down upon, his shock at being flung into the air with a simple motion by an old man… etc. It isn’t enough to simply state what happened and how it made Zheng feel, we need to turn these points into a scene. This is where imagery and figurative language kicks in.
Take this clip for example:
As soon as the elder said that, he waved his hand as if he was slapping Ezio on the face. Ezio then went flying and landed heavily on the ground.
It can be expanded into something like:
The elder tore his hand across the air with the crash of thunder. An unseen force snapped Ezio’s head back, his cheek burned as though he’d been struck by an armored fist. The blow sent him tumbling into the ground, shredding through a patch of sharp-tasting herbs and damp earth.
There are places where bare prose is acceptable, desirable even, but for action sequences and the more important parts of the story, it’s important to give readers more of a “front row seat” if you will.
Another issue plaguing the prose is redundancy. The same points being brought up in proximity. It causes the narrative to stutter and may even give off the impression that the author doesn’t trust readers to remember details. An example can be found in the beginning of Special Chapter – Princess Bai’s Memories 1:
"Just what happened to him?"
She wondered what could have happened to him, that he couldn't even remember her name. She is also puzzled as to why he would not talk about it, or why she hadn't heard rumors about Zheng Jin losing his memory.
Bai’s mental dialogue already tells us that she’s wondering about what happened to Zheng only for the narration to tell us the same thing in the next paragraph. This is redundancy approaching the highest order. It disrupts the flow of the story with no benefit. In fact, given that the narrative is painfully thin, it’s something that pushes the story closer and closer to the ledge every time it happens.
I would suggest that it be reworked into something like:
"Just what happened to him?"
He couldn't even remember her name. Despite her ears running through every corner of the outer sect, she failed to pick up a single rumor regarding how or why Zheng fell into such a state.
Note that there’s no equivalent to “She is also puzzled as to why he would not talk about it” because it doesn’t make sense for Bai to assume that Zheng knows why he lost his memories if she also belives that he forgot everything.
Beyond the mechanics, the story itself seems interesting in its premise, but appears to rely on the reader’s familiarity with the common tropes of LitRPG and Wuxia/Xianxia. Members of RR will, of course, lap it up like a milk-starved kitten but the lack of a clear voice or distinct divergences from the parent genres will condemn the story to fall into the background of all the other standard pieces we’ve read in the past. In order to pull ahead of this fate, there needs to be something that makes readers think of the title before its genres. This can be done through improving the execution of Zheng’s relationship with the world and the people he meets, overarching themes, or the deconstruction of common tropes.
As I’ve said to many authors who’ve weathered one of my reviews, don’t be discouraged by my opinions and don’t stop writing. I only wrote this up because I believe that your work has the potential to be something great. Stay awesome.
Style: Not a fan of the large spacing between every paragraph, all the scrolling is mildly annoying and often ruins the flow of reading. Otherwise, the writing style is good. Easy to read with a decent amount of detail to envision the world and characters’ actions.
Story: Okay, so I’ve read enough xianxia/wuxia to say that this is just mediocre. Sorry but true. For those unfamiliar this will definitely seem like a great story. Certainly it’s not bad, but it takes until chapter 7 before it feels like it’s getting somewhere. By chapter 11, the dialogue seems excessive at times in the line of feeling unnecessary like banter. By 18, we’re finally getting some conflict with the Du Zhen and some schemes after not hearing about the guy since the beginning. Up to chapter 22 where I stopped, the story has been slow. The battles are good, though it feels often long when I’d rather the plot move along after he becomes accustomed to fighting. Additionally, at the start there’s an info dump on the cultivation levels. Good wuxia/xianxia is able to integrate this into the story without a whole chapter devoted to it. In short, what’s driving the interest is Zheng Jin and Bai Shuanyang’s interactions. The fights/action were also good if they weren’t so long at times. By the length of what I read, I expected much more to have occurred as well as the active beginnings of a large conflict in Zheng Jin becoming number one. This still feels like testing the waters of a new world than a real mission to be the best.
Grammar: It’s good overall.
Character: At the very least Zheng Jin isn’t an arrogant asshole like many in this genre. He’s realistic in his interactions too. Bai Shuanyang as well is pretty good for a female lead, again for this genre. Her conflict is also pretty good for what she faces as a princess. But the problem is, this is all in relation to xianxia/wuxia which quite notoriously has annoying MCs and bland females. These characters are above average in comparison. But compared to stories in general, they’re (MC mostly) lacking deeper depth. Not bad, but not great.
Overall: In short, this has potential, but with more seriousness and a driven focus, this could be much much better. Still worth a read for those new to the genre or those who like chapter+ length plus battles.
(This review is made as of Chapter 19 and may change later)
This fiction basically combine xianxia and litrpg elements... both of which I absolutely love!
I think the author is trying to stray away from an overly-OP MC for now. So, I'll recommend this for readers that don't want their main charactes to just "Protag, SMASH!!!" through all the villains with their godly powers. The MC of this story appears to be a wily one, also using schemes to win. Edit: And it turns out that I was absolutely right.
For now, the story is quite interesting, so 5 stars for that.
Though there are a few minor mistakes in grammar/spelling, the author corrects them eventually. I can still see him improve in the future if he continues this fiction, so I'll give a 4.5 for now, just to encourage the author to improve.
Only 10 chapters in, there's already a character development "special chapter" for one of the supporting characters...pretty good. The MC is developing steadily as the story goes, and in a good way for now, so 5 for chars.
Overall, I'd definitely recommend this to people who likes to read xianxia or litRPG fictions.
P.S. - This rating may change in the future as I follow where this story goes.
Overall a very engaging concept. The story just jumps right into it with a good hook that pulls readers in. The main character is engaging and feels just the right sort of powerful. However, the story almost feels like its pulling a major love triangle (square even?) between most of the MCs and I'm not sure whether to congratulate the ballsiness of the author on that or to be annoyed. Other than that, however, I found myself being unable to put down the book. I'm excited to see more chapters and keep up the good work!
While I was annoyed mildly by the mc acting a little bit too naiv even tho he called others out on it, I absolutely enjoyed the story so far nontheless
Good writing. Engaging. Positive. Flows well. Story pulls you along.
I really like this story, so much in fact that I became a patron, so I could read more. I do have one major nitpick though. The author should go back through and look at ever instance where they used he/she. Because in almost every chapter they used he when they meant she, or viscera. There was also a place where their, there was messed up. Overall though I love the book, only wish it would come out sooner. Also, did they publish the first arc on amazon yet?
Great fun, good concept, enjoyed the character development. The mc isn't too OP at the moment thank goodness, so sick of instantly OP wuxia MCs. I personally enjoy a story more when great power is gained after the MC works for it over a decent arc of time.
Will watch this story.
Initially I found the story pretty interesting and I read many chapters in one go. Then it started to go wrong.
Story just stopped going anywhere or did so very slowly with lots of chapters in between that seemed to serve no purpose than to handle all the girls that flutter about the mc being annoying.
Simply put I started basically skipping chapters, reading them only very superficially so that I could see, if story actually did go forward and get any relevant point.
Well... so far its good enough that I read all of it to the current point so perhaps it isnt that bad. The story has some interesting parts if you skip all the harem management parts.