Super Babes: A LitRPG Superhero Harem Adventure

by JeremyZenith

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Sci-fi GameLit Harem LitRPG Male Lead Secret Identity Strong Lead Super Heroes
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

All Ryan Walker wanted was to be a hero, and he gets his chance when the three heroes who protect Eros City are taken down. Now, thanks to a high-tech implant that uses RPG mechanics to unlock hidden powers, Ryan's become a real-life superhero. He's going to have to face the powerful supervillains that have taken over his city, but he'll have some sexy superheroines to help him along the way.

A revised and expanded version of this novel is now available on Amazon.

Note: This LitRPG story contains strong language, harem elements, and explicit adult situations.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Character Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Total Views :
  • 55,498
  • Average Views :
  • 2,312
  • Followers :
  • 533
  • Favorites :
  • 133
  • Ratings :
  • 95
  • Pages :
  • 231
Advertisement
Remove
Reviews

Leave a review

Ciaina
  • Overall Score

No idea where the glowing reviews come from, but ... 

Let's start with the good :

Grammar is solid, as well as the general flow. A bit of effort went into world building. Not too much, but an effort is clearly there.

The debatable :

It is a superhero setting, with dastardly villains that are as gratuitously evil as they are childishly stupid. Silver era comic style? It is a staple, but if that is not your thing it will grate on you.

The BAD :

The characters. They are paper thin and generally unlikable.

The protagonist has only a superficial morality, but beside that is a creep. A complete, weak willed creep. All his motivations are a vehicle for self indulgence, be it attention or more basic desires. Beside " becoming a hero" ofc. THAT is motivated by not putting in any effort even if he has a pretty good life, that he wants to escape by "cheating" because he has the willpower of an unborn child, and screw all the consequences.

The girls, as they are written, are all WHORES. let me elaborate. Nothing wrong with having an open and promiscuous life-style. But they All open their legs with the same ease it takes to go for groceries. One thing is having multiple sex partners, another is thinking that a quick round of sex is a standard way of interacting with strangers. I get the Harem tag, but these girls feel more like ass and titties with a bit of backstory and a massive case of nymphomany.

That is pretty much it, it feels like a first attempt at writing (albeit with a decent grasp of grammar), giving the author ample space for improvement ( that I'm pretty sure will come if he perseveres). Depth, depth and depth. Don't just add trinkets to a car, open the engine compartment and get down and dirty.

 

On a personal note : the guy that called a review "trolling"? Stop using that word. Trolling means intentionally riling up people to get a reaction. What he did was just write something that you didn't agree with. Surprisingly, not everything that disagrees with you, or is negative in nature is an ATTACK.

Criticism doesn't mean free praise, and a diet of exclusively unearned pats on the back only breeds entitled, shallow results. Pretty sure mirrors are not a recent invention. 

Raph772
  • Overall Score

MC is such a loser than I can find no other way to better describe him, I'm not even talking about physically as yeah he's weak and skinny but that's whatever I'm talking about his personality, it is so unsuited for being a hero outside of his need to save the city which doesn't fit at all with the rest of his character. Honestly speaking Geoffrey from Game of thrones would probably make for a better hero.

Wade
  • Overall Score

All-Might is that you?

Scrawny dude sudenly becoms muscular handsome guy? Reminds me of Boku no Hero Academia.

Overall good story, little cliche but nice read so far.

gary0044187
  • Overall Score

Fun story, look forward to part 2

MC is a total blockhead, love that he got the dunderhead build to go with it.  Hopefully he will become un-dumb over time.  Great story, still think Leviathan was a better pick.

Motriga
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

as the other reviewers have pointed out there is a lot of cliches in the story, but despite that the author manges to make them his own and give them a spin that makes them his own. sure the mc is kinda an  All Might rip off so far but that is subject to change in the future. the wimp that becomes a hero is a classic fantasy trope used in almost all books of the genre and the story should not be judge for making it clear that it is, what it is. 

all in all i recommend the story, the biggest problme i've run into with it is that the next chapter buttom seems to be greyed out too soon. 

GriefTG
  • Overall Score

A counter review for a troll review

Raph772 who wrote the review "unlikeable mc" what are you going on about I'm a new reader and while yes from the first 3 chapters yes he is fairly desperate it does not make a loser what are you on about? IN chapter 3 he literally risked his own life before he has any powers to save a woman and her drowning babies. It makes him the complete opposite of a loser.

Stultus
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Every true geeks wet dream, a story about an idealistic young man who is given superpowers and does his best to use them for the good of his city, whilst maybe picking up the odd chick here and there.

As I said before, itsi cliche, but it's cliche done well, good grammar, good characters and good setting.

The author has also proven that he can stick to a schedule too, at roughly two chapters a week, I feel this story could do really well and be worth the read.

G4merSylver
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Alright, from the get go: I deduced half a star of the rating due to the way the story ended, while the overall conclusion wasn't that bad ... There was one thing which plainly irked me. More about it at the bottom of the review.

However all in all, I think it's an enjoyable story. It's splendidly written, features characters that while not fleshed out to finer details certainly don't feel two dimensional.

I suppose there's somewhat lot of sexual content in here, less early one but once the bangin' started it became a lotta more common.

Alright, but let's talk about the four things that make up the overall score.

The style ... I'll be honest, you are writing well. At least until you write about sex, it reads a bit like these porn stories of teenagers that float around on various erotica sites. But overall it's enjoyable to read.

Story wise ... I can't say it's unique. It is touching on the super hero genre and blending it with the litrpg, I suppose harem building will be included as we go on? It's done relatively well, at least in my opinion.

Grammar, it's excellent. I don't have any criticism to offer regarding it.

Character, I mentioned it above. No character is defined to the finest details, however they don't appear to be two dimensional either. Good enough to read the story and not feel like everyone is a doll.

Anyway, regarding my issue with how the story ended ... It's a bit of a spoiler mind you.

I found it to be bizarrely rushed. Like. The whole thing with Tiffany isn't THAT big a topic, however wrapping it up abruptly like that felt ... rushed? It doesnt need a chapter, but writing the whole thing of in a handful sentenced felt off.

Conclusion: I enjoyed reading it, I don't feel like I wasted my time. I am following the series. It deserves being on trending. But I personally wouldn't call it a favourite of mine.

ascus
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Solid grammar, no errors found.

 

Style: first person, Sex scenes suck, but solid writing for the rest. Would need some polish before publishing. Without the LitRPG elements it would be better.

Story: it has a story.

Characters: People have Characters, but they don't seem like real people. Especially Hawk Girl fee9l like most of her choices are because the sex plot needs them. The pussy cat on the other hand feels believable. The MC hasn't shown much of his character, but he has more depth than most  MCs (but that isn't hard sind MCs are written blank so more reader can identify  themself with them)

The villains look like they have some Character,  but don't expect more than from a 90s superhero cartoon.

 

 

If you want to read a superhero story with clear good and evil and themed supervillains, go for it (Skip sex Scenes with the MC). If you are here for LitRPG or Sex Scenes better skip this.

yeangster
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Fun story, dubious characters

The story is fun, though things seem to come a bit too easily for the main character once he gets his super-powers. The grammar and style are fine, nothing that actively takes me out of the story at least.

The problem with the characters. Now I only started reading after some of the edits, but the comments by the author and readers make it seem like the main character was much more grating before. But right now, he's bland and inoffensive.

The problem is the rest of the characters, especially the women. They're not much characters, as much as vessels for wish fulfilment for readers who put themselves in the head of hte main character. The stripper character seems like she was written by a guy who got led on by a stripper, but fell afoul of 'no sex in the champagne room', and this is sort of a revenge fantasy. The superheroines are especially egregious. One's been sexually assaulted, tied up, repeatedly threatened with rape, and the first thing she does is jump on the bones of the main character with his magic penis? The reformed supervillainess's only sexual contact with men was being raped many time by her master, but the main character's magic penis turns the moment she's free?

And let's not even get into the adult women who's in the body of the child (sorta) but still has sexual urges.