Computer Virus With a Real Body

by H3mosoR3Y

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Historical Anti-Hero Lead Harem Martial Arts Reincarnation Ruling Class Strategy Strong Lead War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Can a computer virus from the future come to the past? What would happen if this happens? Can this computer virus be stopped? What would happen if this virus creates a body from scratch? Stay tuned and find out in the next episode of this novel

Update of this will happen 3 times a week maybe more.  

I am still learning to write if you guys spot a mistake let me know and I will fix it right away

 

 

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  • Pages :
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H3mosoR3Y

H3mosoR3Y

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EEol
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OK premise, but...

10 chapter review.

OK, so the grammar is an obvious issue, not disastrous but close.

Frankly there isn't much to hook you up at the moment, the tags and the pic may spark some interest but you certainly didn't capitalize it, and less face it, people attention span tends to wander very easily.

The premise is somewhat different, I would encourage to restart maybe after *she* takes over her body, you could intersect some of the first chapters of exposition during her recovery and interactions with her family instead of halfassing and rushing, maybe build the characters more.

Hope this helps, I'd like revisit this story later instead of faking the score (whereas hi or low) 

Witiko
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It seems like a bad translation... with really, REALLY bad grammar.

It was hard to read to say the least. I really like the premise of a time traveling program, but I dropped it after powering through the cringiness of the speech patterns of the virus. Was it intentional to make me want to rubs my face against the keyboard? If so, you're a goddamned genius!

 

Please partner with someone who can edit out this... attempt.

 

Niurn
  • Overall Score

How in the seven hells did it arrive in the TOP20 trending list ?

 It's horrible, badly told. How in the seven hells did it arrive in the TOP20 trending list ? I guess the only redeeming feature is the cover pic with a big-chested instagram babe.

Behold the power of click-baiting !

Grekeren
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Plz, use a grammar app.

So yeah, the grammar is horrible. I couldn't make it past the first couple of lines.

zimbimbaroo
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This was a surprise. I assumed it would be "meh" because honestly most are. The picture is also a dead giveaway as to the quality standard. Then I actually started reading and realized it is so much worse. The author needs help. Please give thoughtful advice in the comments so the author can improve. It's one of the great things about this community that we can help eachother get better through feedback. 

 

DarkClouds
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i love the amout of update that the novel is having. the grammar of the story could be better. i like how the main character is evolving into a bad ass character. the story so far it is not force. it make sense how the author is writing it. he should improve more on his grammar. that is the only thing i dont like.