Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

When everything known about the universe is turned around, who will shine?

Sora is living an unremarkable life as a lazy hacker. It isn't as intense as many think, primarily consiting of sifting through old files to find passwords.

When mysterious AI comes to the planet to connect the world with a primordial force called 'Aether', he finds he has a power that will allow him to be one who shines.

This is the story of not only Sora, but humanity in their endeavor to advance and adapt.

After all, whatever he ends up doing, it's in his nature to be an observer. 

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weaboomemelord69

weaboomemelord69

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Dispern
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Good idea, Poor everything else.

The beginning of this novel had me hooked enough to continue reading it, but after that things just started to go downhill. Things are lacking explanations, time jumps that get blended in and make the narrative over-all more confusing, and (while I don't think "edgy" is bad if done right) it is not done right in this novel. I like the idea, which makes me want to like the novel, but the idea just doesn't quite cut it.

Stomachfood
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I don’t know how this suddenly got boosted up to trending but I do not agree with the decision. I could barely get through the first chapter of the story. 

The grammar while bad is at a tolerable level to keep reading.

The story is what I have issues with. It is bland. You start off by saying the main character has nothing going for him but then give him a description that completely disproves that. He is decent looking, has enhanced senses, is smart enough to be a hacker and work on various electronics. He could easily become a fairly successful person with all these depending on what world he lives in but you give us almost no info on the world despite immediately launching into the main plot. Instead the mc comes off as more of a lazy waste of space despite all his skills. Then you just suddenly give him opness with very little warning or explanation. You don’t explain terms or attributes or affinities or anything. You just say he’s got a shitty phone then boom there’s 3 or 4 more people in a void and he get superpowers from some kind of AI that can’t even do its job properly. If suddenly becoming the most powerful cheat on the planet isn’t bad enough you also give him a bullshit item that pretty much makes him invincible.

 I won’t even get into the issues I have with your writing itself because I have other stuff I want to be doing for the next four years other than criticise you. 

I am being harsh and there are much worse fictions out there. I recommend a complete rewrite and that you create an actual plan for the future of the fiction. Also ease into the actual story do some world building and introduce more character to give it some depth.

Wardozer
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It is an interesting idea and could be good, but the style is too heavy on description and highly repetitive.  There were also a couple grammer/spelling errors.  A good editor would help. 

ZekromZZ
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worth reading if it gets a rewrite at some point

While i love the idea the current middle of the story is just mush it has no consistency and jumps around like crazy.