by Cliff Hanger
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
What happens when a summoned hero completes their task given by those from up above? When a summoned hero returns back to earth after having saved the world, do they still get to live a normal life?
The answer is actually yes, they usually do. They get married to the one they love, have kids, and then death takes them away.
Of course, that is only usually. There are a select few who choose not to... think the same way.
Some of them find such a life boring, dull even.
They want to taste for adventure once more, feed their drive for exploration! Power, wealth, another life, they want it all. So, what do they do? Why, they do what Quasi does...
They sell themselves to the gods.
This story will contain 2 and 3-dimensional characters.
Sex/ Drama/ Love/ Harem
Constantly Changing POV's
Multiple Main characters.
Messed up shit-- You have been warned.
Link to Artist I Commissioned for Cover:
Only One Apache Helicopter, Grammar Nazi, and a frog named Trinity were harmed in the making of this novel.
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The author needs to take some friggin' notes, and then refer back to them while writing.
Is the skill called Bone Renewal or Skeletal Renewal? Are the lizard people Gejada, Gejan or Gajan? The head honcho of Odin's church, is he a Counselor or a Chancelor? Is Mule's name capitalized or not? Who knows! All those things change all the time, sometimes within the same chapter. Or what about that one time the MC decides his Advanced Mana Sense is going to be called Greater Mana Sense? Just the one time, then it goes back.
It is seriously driving me crazy.
This is a decent story with a semi original plot and likeable, if somewhat idiotic characters. The non-summoned characters might technically be people but they act like NPCs.
Now to the massive con: THE SYNTAX IS ATROCIOUS!!! Seriously, the most glaring error was instead of writing "Franky's" you wrote "Frankies". Unless you have many people called Franky you never write the plural of a name.
What's slightly irritating is the sexual stuff in the story. I don't mind NSFW stuff but it's done terribly here. I don't know why you added it at all. It's jarring and annoying. If you have such raunchy characters, don't make fade to black sex scenes, it doesn't fit thematically.
The flashbacks should be made obvious. You should at the least make headers that say: 2 months earlier or something because it takes a few sentences to understand that we're somewhere completely different in the narrative.
And to my final criticism: It's laudable that you cleaned up your syntax somewhat in chapter 18 but you must edit the rest of your chapters. Take a day off from writing and edit properly. I guarantee you'll go up by a couple hundred in the rankings if you do. I almost stopped reading because it was so awful.
Otherwise, well done and I hope to read more.
(updated as of chapter 150; the old review was from April 2019 at chapter 27)
In 'Inexorable Chaos', Quasi is a professional Hero who is regularly summoned by gods to any world where one is needed and thus he has lots of experience with that. His newest "job" is from Loki and the goal is to destroy a world that has turned out faulty/broken.
Style: The story is told in present tense from the point of view of multiple people, with a handful of regular ones. Sometimes it's not easy to notice whose POV it is in the earlier chapters. LitRPG elements are done mostly in the form of levels, Classes and use of Skills. Blue boxes are for system messages and when somebody is Appraised or getting a new class.
Story: While the concept of the story is interesting and the story is nice to read, I feel it is a bit lacking in suspense because Quasi succeeds too easily. Whenever there is an obstacle, there is not even a little doubt that it will be overcome with little struggle. There are also a bit too many different points of view, to the point of confusion. The pacing is more on the slow side, with many deviations from the main storyline.
Grammar: The early chapters are bad but still readable (2.5 stars) with a significant number of plural-s/possessive-s errors and some homophone errors, in addition to punctuation errors. Also often there are clunky sentences. After a few dozen chapters it gets much better but it's still not great.
Characters: Quasi might be the MC but to me he reads like an immature and boring comic relief. Most readers like that but I don't. Concerning "boring": He's massively, massively overpowered and that takes away all the suspense. Everything easily works out for him, the biggest obstacles he has to overcome is when something only works out to 99%, e.g. he's getting blood on his clothes from blowing up some boss monster 10 times his level. Concerning "comic relief": Quasi is an obnoxious, attention-seeking drama queen, a significant part of his actions are loud and overdramatic theatrics. Concerning "immature": In addition to the presentation of the former trait and the simple jokes played all the time, another significant part of the story is the repetitive emphasis on his sexual desirablity and prowess. Every female, regardless of species, is constantly lusting for him. We later learn that this is because of a hidden trait. It made me chuckle the first few times but later on it became just another boring repetition wasting space in the chapters.
In the other characters, there is not too much depth either, but at least it is not so blatant. They have a nice variety of personalities, but there are a lot of them and sometimes it's difficult to remember who was who. Most are "nice to know about" but few are very captivating. Personally, I like the chapters with the side characters Franky, Rathos and Artyom best, although the latter is a very simple man.
All in all, this story is great if you're a fan of absolutely overpowered MCs. It's still an okay read if you're not, but with the suspense reduced by that you won't get the same enjoyment out of it IMHO.
In this review : one thing i like and one i dont
The secondary characters in this novel are great, (russian, big Lady, general... ) they have interesting personalities and story and it's fabulous.
As of chapter 50-ish the main plot in the dungeon is really being stretched out, the characters is the only thing keeping me reading, the pace is way too slow/repetitive with Quasi.
It feels like I'm reading 5 different books, cause the character in the books description, is only in like 1/3 of the book, MAYBE, were told line 9 ish people's stories all at the same time, and by the time they're actually relevant in any way to the actual story, the author will have to repeat half the shit since there's no way people will remember 9 stories information, it's to the point where I see a pov and I'm like, is this a new one? One I've seen before? They all just mush together. And then we're told the same situation from different pov, and none of them are part of the MCs story. It's just too much. I like world building, but fuck me at least have 50% of the book on the MC, i can't see myself reading more than 5 more chapters.
The early chapters were enjoyable but a bit rough to the point of immersion/entertainment breaking, but it does improve a lot after around chapter 60+
When I say "improve", I mean that the tone and story becomes tighter, it's still the same story but the immersion breaking stuff isn't really present anymore or at least not to an extent that makes your brows furrow. He's still OP MC but now he doesn't show too much imcompetence and what lack of planning and thinking can just be chalked up to him being primarily bored and cocky.
Very entertaining story, prose, pace, syntax, all of that good shit too.
I'd rather have a truly OP MC and just have the tension elsewhere in the story, somewhat similar to One Punch Man where all the tension is with the great side characters. It's not because I particularly like OP MCs, it's more like everytime something bad happens to the MC, it's usually because he did something dumb or made a bad call. Normally this would be normal, but MC is supposed to be a 7000 year-old Isekai expert. So yeah, I don't get it. Everytime he makes a bad call it just takes me out of the experience making me ask why he acted so idiotically.
One can argue that that's just because he's cocky, but then when he gets out of a situation because of luck and not of competence then it's just plot armor and not the MC actually being competent.
This is one of those mixed bag stories, where the good is really good and the bad is really bad. Could've been better at least for me and people like me if the MC is just an expert, but not sold as "the ultimate expert" or something like that. At least there's some wiggle room with that, or maybe if he gets out of situations through competence and not luck then that's also decent. As it is it's like everyone is saying that he's amazing when he's above average at best.
Not that bad either, but it's frankly mediocre. With so many great works out there, this one just isn't worth it for me.
The author chose to write a MC that is supposed to know more than the author (and everyone save for gods and immortals) knows. Some stories manage to be convincing when trying the same, but this story has failed in this aspect. Maybe because it's the MC, so it is hard to hide the lack of actual knowledge. Just saying that the character knows something isn't enough to convince when they fail to act accordingly.
There are some weird things like everyone treating rape as commonplace (which in the story setting wouldn't be so weird, because slavery seems to be a common occurrence, but there are characters that aren't used to slavery and thus shouldn't see either rape os slavery as normal).
The grammar is horrid. Even in the chapters that were checked there are still some weird turns of phrase, misplaced words (there is one chapter that has so many random "had"s that it was hard to read, and the random "had"s make a lot of occasional re-appearances in a lot of chapters too), misspelled words (seen "per say" more than once. The correct is "per se", but really, just use "by itself" and avoid sounding pompous AND misspelling) and insconsistencies in the verb tense.
However, it is midly entertaining and it seems there is planning to the story, so it isn't a distasteful disaster. Maybe some future work from the author will be great? I do like to see that the author is engaged with the reviews and comments, always seeming to be in a good mood. Wish I could be nicer to the story, but I'd rather be honest: I didn't like it.
First off, this isn't the story of an experienced hero getting hired on a bunch of jobs and solving them quickly, it's one big tough job.
Overall it's a good story, well written, a good world, an interesting plot, fun characters. But while the overall ideas are good, they're not portrayed as well as they could be.
- Good descriptive writing
- Good grammar, with only a few errors that don't interfere with flow.
- The summoned heroes have great personalities.
- Most characters given any significant screen time are fairly well rounded.
- 3 fairly consistent main plotlines.
- MC is backed by the Gods of trickery, which always makes things interesting.
- Viewpoints switch constantly. By the current chapter (27) it's rare to get a whole chapter from one person's point of view, let alone two in a row. This makes it difficultto actually show any of the well crafted personalities.
- The MC hasn't actually used much trickery yet. He was unpredictable and chaotic in the first few chapters, but since then he has either facepunched or sent minions to solve all his problems with ease.
- It doesn't seem likely that the 3 plotlines will converge any time in the first book's worth.
Overall, this is a great story with a whole bunch of good ideas, which is having trouble developing any one of them.
Style Score:Honestly, if the story wasn't in second person, I would have loved it. However, the writing style just didn't click with me due to there being very little flow in second person stories.
Story Score: the story is pretty good as far as it goes, even pacing the sex to a semi-believable state.
If it wasn't for the friend being a total hero/save-all type of guy, the plot would have been pretty solid with the main characters goal in mind and attainable.
Grammar Score: I hold four and a half stars as a pretty solid score. Other than there being a few typos or grammatical errors spread out through out the story, it's nothing a proof read couldn't fix.
Character Score: The best thing about the characters is them all being unique. However, that doesn't make them not shallow. Hardly any of them have any aspirations other than help/destroy one of the MC's. It doesn't give them a deep sense of individuality and makes them seem more like a plot filler to the story.
Over all it's a fun story to read and offers something new to the GAMELIT genre. The characters are engaging enough to keep the reader active. My only real turn off was the writing style. I recommend reading but to take it for what it is.
In my opinion, ever since the start of book two, the story is falling. Some of the POVs from book 1 are still not put in use and it seems it will be quite a while till everything comes together. Also ever since the start of book two, there has not really been any struggle, the comedy part also is not as strong as in the first book.
Old review (Chapter 51):
You know, I actually enjoy the different POVs. And I really like the other MCs in the story. Sure, the novel has its flaws, mainly that the MC has not failed a task yet. Though that might be understandable since he is still sort of in a beginner's area set by the Gods.
Style: As I said, I enjoy the POV shift and personally do not find it disruptive. For me, figuring out who is speaking also is not that hard. You can usually figure it out within a paragraph or two. Another pro of the different POVs is that they sort of function as a time skip. I mean, the MC grinds too and has an army to take care of. So instead of saying a while later, you just make a different POV chapter.
Story: Despite a few dark facts, the story is usually told in a light and easy going tone. As of chapter 51, it feels like we are still in the beginning stages of the book. But at the same time, the story does not seem to drag on. The pace is good. Somehow though, all the chapters so far are like a build up for something greater, something epic. I wonder whether that moment will come or whether there will be several less grand but still great moments and worry whether the author will be able to deliver them (And yes I want to slightly pressure him into it. Though I do not want to break him). Anyway, the plot is still in the beginning stages.
Grammar: Well, there is a mistake or two, but for nothing that would disrupt reading experience too much.
Character: Well, although I enjoy the real MC, out of all the MCs, he has the least depth. Sometimes, he might even feel a bit one dimensional. As he is already experienced wth these situations, there is not much room for char. development. Well, at the current dungeon floor and the next one, he will probably find no trials. After that, it would be nice for him to fail a bit. Technically he failed once already, but in the end there were no real repercussions he had to deal with.