Inexorable Chaos

Inexorable Chaos

by Cliff Hanger
Editors: Trinity's Gadget HURGMCGURG

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Gods are, generally speaking, not fans of directly putting their fingers on the scale. This is for a variety of reasons, ranging from cautioun to amusement, but is generally because after a few hundred millennia and enough prayers to fill a hollow Earth, you're bound to learn the art of delegation.  Luckily, among the unwashed masses, there exist the exceptional, the gifted, those with the potential to become Heroes.

Useful pawns.

Thus, the Gods adopted a more laissez-faire policy.

Quasi Eludo has been a Hero. He did the whole "save the world” rigmarole, came home, and mulled over his magical journey. It was amazing! A whole lifetime as the destined savior, with magic and monsters, love and adventure, lifelong friendships and heartfelt goodbyes. There was so much, and yet, gone so soon.

It wasn’t enough. It was never enough. He wanted to do it again.  And where wants coincide, there's a market, so he sold his services to the lazy, wanton Gods. 


Quasi Eludo, Hero for Hire. [No world too big, no quest too small]


Now, after countless subjective centuries of Hero-ing, and several awkward conversations with the IRS, an odd God has come to Quasi with a unique request: Destroy a world, minimum payment of several million dollars on completion.

Quasi sees no reason not to accept.

*$50,000 USD minimum charge plus expenses for all fetch quests. Extermination requests subject to environmental review. 


Parental Warning: Contains descriptions of nudity and lizard sex. No eldritch abominations were molested in the writing of this novel. 
All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual Gods, Deities, or Discord server members is purely coincidental regardless of how accurately they are described. 

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Author
Cliff Hanger

Cliff Hanger

Heroooooooooooooooooo

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Table of Contents
251 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter One: Meeting of the Gods. ago
Chapter Two: Meeting the Hero ago
Chapter Three: Summoning a Hero. ago
Chapter Four: Abnormal Summoning. ago
Chapter Five: Leveling Up. ago
Chapter Six: Meeting the Hero... Again ago
Chapter Seven: Onset of War ago
Chapter Eight: Fog ago
Chapter Nine: Lizard People! ago
Chapter Ten: Dungeon Stone ago
Chapter Eleven: Diving the dungeon. ago
Chapter twelve: Dungeon Things. ago
Chapter Thirteen: A [General]s love and a [Hero]s respect. ago
Chapter Fourteen: The Powa! of Healing. ago
Chapter Fifteen: Training ago
Chapter Sixteen: A [Hero] trains ago
Chapter Seventeen: The makings of a true HERO. ago
Chapter Eighteen: Boss Battle ago
Chapter Nineteen: Abusing the System. ago
Chapter Twenty: First Town. ago
Chapter Twenty One: Leaving Town ago
Chapter Twenty Two: Descending ago
Chapter Twenty Three: Minotaur ago
Chapter Twenty Four: Just a Dance ago
Chapter Twenty Five: A growing Army. ago
Chapter twenty six: Of Mice And Dungeons ago
Chapter Twenty Seven: [Hero] ago
Chapter Twenty Eight: A [God], A [Hero], and an [Assasin] walk into a Bar ago
Chapter Twenty Nine: A Little Light Conquest. ago
Chapter Thirty: The Herd ago
Chapter Thirty One: Black Rain ago
Chapter Thirty Two: Story Time ago
Chapter Thirty Three: Nobody ever suspects..! ago
Chapter Thirty Four: A Rose has Thorns. ago
Chapter Thirty Five: Enchanting ago
Chapter thirty Six: Loss and Vengeance ago
Chapter Thirty Seven: Angels, Monsters, Acrophobia! ago
Chapter Thirty Eight: Champion ago
Chapter Thirty Nine: Roar! ago
Chapter Fourty: Tyrant ago
Chapter Fourty One: Girly ago
Chapter Forty two: Veterans ago
Chapter Forty Three: Arrogance ago
Chapter Forty Four: Making An Entrance ago
Chapter Fourty five: Madness ago
Chapter Fourty Six: Kidnapped. ago
Chapter Fourty Seven: Wine ago
Chapter Fourty Eight: Another Boring Meeting. ago
Chapter Fourty Nine: Who doesn't like a bit of napalm in the morning. ago
Chapter Fifty: Baldness and the Centaur Fetish. ago
Chapter Fifty One: Dwarves Have a Saying. ago
Chapter Fifty Two: Beer, Love, War... in that order. ago
Chapter Fifty Three: The city of the council ago
Chapter Fifty Four: Shock and Awe ago
Chapter Fifty Five: Domain ago
Chapter fifty Six: Fightclub ago
Chapter fifty Seven: Rumors ago
Chapter Fifty Eight: White Curse ago
Chapter Fifty Nine: Ain't no banshee ago
Chapter sixty: Cool Mom ago
Chapter Sixty One: Good Advice ago
Chapter Sixty two: Sparkle ago
Chapter Sixty Three: Class Upgrade ago
Chapter sixty Four: A [Necromancers]' guide to cooking. ago
Chapter sixty five: Gaping Hole. ago
Chapter sixty Six: Foxy Pheromones ago
Chapter Sixty Seven: Sins of Mimir ago
Chapter sixty Eight: Blushing Scarlet ago
Chapter sixty Nine: Change ago
Chapter Seventy: [Archpriestess] ago
Chapter Seventy One: Class ago
Chapter Seventy Two: Sentience ago
Chapter Seventy Three: Test ago
Chapter Seventy Four: I am Peter ago
Chapter Seventy Five: Events ago
Chapter Seventy Six: Panoptic ago
Chapter Seventy Seven: Death ago
Chapter Seventy Eight: Mylingar ago
Chapter Seventy Nine: Boom ago
Chapter Eighty: War ago
Chapter Eighty One: Rose ago
Chapter Eighty Two: Upgrades ago
Chapter Eighty Three: One Upping ago
Chapter Eighty Four: Shiny Walls. ago
Chapter Eighty Five: Mistakes were almost made. ago
Chapter Eighty six: Name... ago
Chapter Eighty Seven: Unexpected Circumstances ago
Chapter Eighty Eight: Aura ago
Chapter Eighty Nine: Scarlet Fire ago
Chapter Ninety: Party ago
Chapter Ninety One: Plans for Regicide ago
Chapter Ninety Two: Deceptively Small ago
Chapter Ninety Three: Plans and Dancing ago
Chapter Ninety Four: Ranking ago
Chapter Ninety Five: Invite ago
Chapter Ninety Six: Shiro ago
Chapter Ninety Seven: Boulder ago
Chapter Ninety Eight: Orchestrating an Attack ago
Chapter Ninety Nine: Dead... ago
Chapter One Hundred: Kill Stealer ago
Chapter 101: Jokull ago
Chapter 102: Jotunheim ago
Chapter 103: Teeth. ago
Chapter 104: Crafting ago
Chapter 105: Minder ago
Chapter 106: Taste of Victory ago
Chapter 107: Stupid System. ago
Chapter 108: Witch's Rest ago
Chapter 109: Islands ago
Chapter 110: Nyxina ago
Chapter 111: Anemone ago
Chapter 112: Pee ago
Chapter 113: Tournament. ago
Chapter 114: Lightning ago
Chapter 115: Bluff ago
Chapter 116: Battleship ago
Chapter 117: Consistency ago
Chapter 118: Wraith ago
Chapter 119: Masochists. ago
Chapter 120: Ultimate Cliffhanger. ago
Chapter 121: Quasi Eludo ago
Chapter 122: Survived ago
Chapter 123: Elves and Neuri ago
Chapter 124: Mimir ago
Chapter 125: Auto-fill ago
Not A CHAPTER. ago
Chapter 126: Name Drop ago
Chapter 127 - 1 Gods At War: It begins... ago
Chapter 128 - 2 Gaw: Walk ago
Chapter 129 - 3 Gaw: Making Waves ago
Chapter 130 - 4 Gaw: Throne X Cell ago
Chapter 131 - 5 Gaw: Reunion ago
Chapter 132 - 6 Gaw: Gentle Concert ago
Chapter 133 - 7 Gaw: Army? ago
Chapter 134 - 8 Gaw: Potty Mouth. ago
Chapter 135 - 9 Gaw (Interlude: Rathos): ago
Chapter 136 - 10 Gaw: Test ago
Chapter 137 - 11 Gaw: ago
Chapter 138 - 12 Gaw: Anger ago
Chapter 139 - 13 Gaw: Professional Raiders. ago
Chapter 140 - 14 Gaw (Rathos): Old Boots Fit Well. ago
Chapter 141 - 15 Gaw: Again? ago
Chapter 142 - 16 Gaw (Aodean): Camelot. ago
Chapter 143 - 17 Gaw: A Tabled Discussion ago
Chapter 144 - 18 Gaw: Masta Healz ago
Chapter 145 - 19 Gaw: Peep Show ago
Chapter 146 - 20 Gaw: Cavalry ago
Chapter 147 - 21 Gaw: Matilda ago
Chapter 148 - 22 Gaw: Gun Widow ago
Chapter 149 - 23 Gaw: The Tyrant's Pet Goddess ago
Chapter 150 - 24 Gaw: Thieves Guild ago
Chapter 151 - 25 Gaw: Merry Marrow ago
Chapter 152 - 26 Gaw: Manners Maketh Man ago
Chapter 153 - 27 Gaw: The Dance of Two ago
Chapter 154 - 28 Gaw (Garn): Spider wolfbat ago
Chapter 155 - 29 Gaw: Dangerous Shopping ago
Chapter 156 - 30 Gaw: Spider ago
Chapter 157 - 31 Gaw: Tactics of War ago
Chapter 158 - 32 Gaw: Aftermath ago
Chapter 159 - 33 Gaw: A Murder of Crows ago
Chapter 160 - 34 Gaw: Vengeance ago
Chapter 161 - 35 Gaw: Deflon ago
Chapter 162 - 36 Gaw: Cliffing a Cliff ago
Chapter 163 - 37 Gaw: Spitting with a Gentleman ago
Chapter 164 - 38 Gaw(Artyom): The North Descends ago
Chapter 164.5 - 38.5 Gaw (Interlude): Venison ago
Chapter 165 - 39 Gaw: Old Bones ago
Chapter 166 - 40 Gaw: Pierce the heavens ago
Chapter 167 - 41 Gaw: Party Wipe ago
Chapter 168 - 42 Gaw: Git Gud ago
Chapter 169 - 43 Gaw: Quasi Eludo V2 ago
Chapter 170 - 44 Gaw: Shit-Part 1 ago
Chapter 170.5 - 44.5 Gaw: Shit Part 2 ago
Chapter 171 - 45 Gaw: A Pose By Any Other Name ago
Chapter 172 - 46 Gaw: Reunion ago
Chapter 173 - 47 Gaw: A mask to face meeting ago
Chapter 174 - 48 Gaw: Solitaire ago
Chapter 175 - 49 Gaw: Stories, Changes, and a Threat ago
Chapter 176 - 50 Gaw (Interlude): Geopolitical Climate ago
Chapter 177 - 51 Gaw (Interlude): Woof Woof ago
Chapter 178 - 52 Gaw: City of Steel and the Raccoon Knight. ago
Chapter 179 - 53 Gaw: The Princess and the Pee ago
Chapter 180 - 54 Gaw: Heroic Kidnapping. ago
Chapter 181 -55 Gaw: Barbie ago
Chapter 182 - 56 Gaw: Heavens Descent ago
Chapter 183 - 57 Gaw: Deus Ex Machina ago
Chapter 184 - 58 Gaw: OVERLORD ago
Chapter 185 - 59 Gaw(Rathos): When a Problem Comes Along ago
Chapter 186 - 60 Gaw(Interlude): OH for Fuck's Sake. ago
Chapter 187 - 61 Gaw: Kerfuffle ago
Chapter 188 - 62 Gaw: Shifting Strategies ago
Chapter 189 - 63 Gaw: Cheap Shots and Cheaper Drinks ago
Chapter 190 - 64 Gaw: Bare Bone Bets ago
Chapter 191 - 65 Gaw: Masterful Plan. ago
Chapter 192 - 66 Gaw: Its difficult being a Prisoner. ago
Chapter 193 - 67 Gaw: Echo ago
Chapter 194 - 68 Gaw: Forgot ago
Chapter 195 - 69 Gaw: Southern Advance. ago
Chapter 196 - 70 Gaw: Letter ago
Chapter 197 - 71 Gaw: Unequal ago
Chapter 198 - 72 Gaw: Clean Slate ago
Chapter 199 - 73 Gaw: Alliances ago
Chapter 200 - 74: Edging ago
Chapter 201 - 75 Gaw: Accidents Happen ago
Chapter 202 - 76 Gaw: Somebody Important Got Hurt ago
Chapter 203 - 77 Gaw: The [Kings] Mistress ago
Chapter 204 - 78 Gaw: Ravens of Ill Omen ago
Chapter 205 - 79 Gaw: Getting Nailed. ago
Chapter 206 - 80 Gaw: Quarrelsome Guests ago
Chapter 207 - 81 Gaw: Tis but a flesh wound. ago
Chapter 208 - 82 Gaw(Interlude Rathos): Alliance Meeting Part 1 ago
Chapter 209 - 83 Gaw(Interlude Rathos): Alliance Meeting Part 2 ago
Chapter 210 - 84 Gaw(Interlude Rathos): Alliance Meeting Part 3 ago
Chapter 211 - 85 Gaw: Dune ago
Chapter 212 - 86 Gaw: Widow ago
Chapter 213 - 87 Gaw: Pushed Aside ago
Chapter 214 - 88 Gaw: The Auction ago
Chapter 215 - 89 Gaw: Barglesmash ago
Chapter 216 - 90 Gaw: A Hard Time Dealing with Success ago
Chapter 217 - 91 Gaw: Meanwhile ago
Chapter 218 - 92 Gaw: Henceforth, we are at war! ago
Chapter 219 - 93 Gaw: Plans and Camping ago
Chapter 220 - 94 Gaw: Fishing for a ride ago
Chapter 221 - 95 Gaw: Six Paces ago
Chapter 222 - 96 Gaw(Franky): Misunderstandings ago
Chapter 223 - 97 Gaw(Franky): Command ago
Chapter 224 - 98 Gaw: Upgrades ago
Chapter 225 - 98.5 Gaw(Rathos): Subplots ago
Chapter 226 - 99 Gaw: DOMINANCE! ago
Chapter 227 - 100 Gaw: In the Limelight ago
Chapter 228 - 101 Gaw: Scepter of Was ago
Chapter 229 - 102 Gaw: Muspelheim ago
Chapter 230 - 103 Gaw: Ra ago
Chapter 231 - 104 Gaw(Franky): Conflict ago
Chapter 232 - 105 Gaw: Atlantis Part 1 ago
Chapter 233 - 106 Gaw: Atlantis Part 2 ago
Chapter 234 - 107 Gaw: Atlantis Part 3 ago
Chapter 235 - 108 Gaw(Franky): Legacy ago
Chapter 236 - 108 Gaw: Bardic Fate ago
Chapter 237 - 109 Gaw: Legal System ago
Chapter 238 - 110 Gaw: Maids ago
Chapter 239 - 111 Gaw: Ships and Generals ago
Chapter 240 - 112 Gaw: A Pirates' Life for Maids ago
Chapter 241 - 113 Gaw: Bullshit most Shiny ago
Chapter 242 - 114 Gaw: The Bean ago
Chapter 243 - 115 Gaw: Yeet ago
Chapter 244 - 116 Gaw: Instructors ago
Chapter 245 - 117 Gaw: Trouble Brewing ago
Chapter 246 - 118 Gaw(Rathos): Death March ago
Chapter 247 - 119 Gaw: Ship Nerd ago
Chapter 248 - 120 Gaw: Turtle Up ago

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Reviews
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Kazorh
Overall

More consistency, please

The author needs to take some friggin' notes, and then refer back to them while writing.

Is the skill called Bone Renewal or Skeletal Renewal? Are the lizard people Gejada, Gejan or Gajan? The head honcho of Odin's church, is he a Counselor or a Chancelor? Is Mule's name capitalized or not? Who knows! All those things change all the time, sometimes within the same chapter. Or what about that one time the MC decides his Advanced Mana Sense is going to be called Greater Mana Sense? Just the one time, then it goes back.

It is seriously driving me crazy.

Andross Guile
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Good Story, Terrible Syntax

This is a decent story with a semi original plot and likeable, if somewhat idiotic characters. The non-summoned characters might technically be people but they act like NPCs.

Now to the massive con: THE SYNTAX IS ATROCIOUS!!! Seriously, the most glaring error was instead of writing "Franky's" you wrote "Frankies". Unless you have many people called Franky you never write the plural of a name. 

What's slightly irritating is the sexual stuff in the story. I don't mind NSFW stuff but it's done terribly here. I don't know why you added it at all. It's jarring and annoying. If you have such raunchy characters, don't make fade to black sex scenes, it doesn't fit thematically.

The flashbacks should be made obvious. You should at the least make headers that say: 2 months earlier or something because it takes a few sentences to understand that we're somewhere completely different in the narrative.

And to my final criticism: It's laudable that you cleaned up your syntax somewhat in chapter 18 but you must edit the rest of your chapters. Take a day off from writing and edit properly. I guarantee you'll go up by a couple hundred in the rankings if you do. I almost stopped reading because it was so awful. 

Otherwise, well done and I hope to read more.

KoboldPatrol
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Interesting idea, but could use work in execution

Reviewed at: Chapter 150 - Gaw 24: Thieves Guild

(updated as of chapter 150; the old review was from April 2019 at chapter 27)

In 'Inexorable Chaos', Quasi is a professional Hero who is regularly summoned by gods to any world where one is needed and thus he has lots of experience with that. His newest "job" is from Loki and the goal is to destroy a world that has turned out faulty/broken. 

Style: The story is told in present tense from the point of view of multiple people, with a handful of regular ones. Sometimes it's not easy to notice whose POV it is in the earlier chapters. LitRPG elements are done mostly in the form of levels, Classes and use of Skills. Blue boxes are for system messages and when somebody is Appraised or getting a new class. 

Story: While the concept of the story is interesting and the story is nice to read, I feel it is a bit lacking in suspense because Quasi succeeds too easily. Whenever there is an obstacle, there is not even a little doubt that it will be overcome with little struggle. There are also a bit too many different points of view, to the point of confusion. The pacing is more on the slow side, with many deviations from the main storyline. 

Grammar: The early chapters are bad but still readable (2.5 stars) with a significant number of plural-s/possessive-s errors and some homophone errors, in addition to punctuation errors. Also often there are clunky sentences. After a few dozen chapters it gets much better but it's still not great. 

Characters: Quasi might be the MC but to me he reads like an immature and boring comic relief. Most readers like that but I don't. Concerning "boring": He's massively, massively overpowered and that takes away all the suspense. Everything easily works out for him, the biggest obstacles he has to overcome is when something only works out to 99%, e.g. he's getting blood on his clothes from blowing up some boss monster 10 times his level. Concerning "comic relief": Quasi is an obnoxious, attention-seeking drama queen, a significant part of his actions are loud and overdramatic theatrics. Concerning "immature": In addition to the presentation of the former trait and the simple jokes played all the time, another significant part of the story is the repetitive emphasis on his sexual desirablity and prowess. Every female, regardless of species, is constantly lusting for him. We later learn that this is because of a hidden trait. It made me chuckle the first few times but later on it became just another boring repetition wasting space in the chapters. 
In the other characters, there is not too much depth either, but at least it is not so blatant. They have a nice variety of personalities, but there are a lot of them and sometimes it's difficult to remember who was who. Most are "nice to know about" but few are very captivating. Personally, I like the chapters with the side characters Franky, Rathos and Artyom best, although the latter is a very simple man. 

All in all, this story is great if you're a fan of absolutely overpowered MCs. It's still an okay read if you're not, but with the suspense reduced by that you won't get the same enjoyment out of it IMHO. 

Adam2502
Overall

It feels like I'm reading 5 different books, cause the character in the books description, is only in like 1/3 of the book, MAYBE, were told line 9 ish people's stories all at the same time, and by the time they're actually relevant in any way to the actual story, the author will have to repeat half the shit since there's no way people will remember 9 stories information, it's to the point where I see a pov and I'm like, is this a new one? One I've seen before? They all just mush together. And then we're told the same situation from different pov, and none of them are part of the MCs story. It's just too much. I like world building, but fuck me at least have 50% of the book on the MC, i can't see myself reading more than 5 more chapters.

tongo
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Too much hopping but otherwise greaT

Reviewed at: Chapter 165 - 39 Gaw: Old Bones

Writing at chap 165

So to start the overall Story is great, I like the Worldbuilding the way the World is structured and how every part of the world interacts with one another. The main charecter moves the plot in interesting ways, while most of the side charecters have their own agenda, but aren´t the main reason the plot moves. the sole problem I have with the story, is that I felt that it was at times slightly inconsistent, when it comes to leveling, but most of it gets explained at one point and the rest feels like it was more of a stylistic choice so I will critiqu it there.

The characters are in my opinion the Strongest part of the story, the Side Cast is somwhat unique, and the main charecter carries this story (mind you the main charecter singular). The charecters, that surround him are all great and have uniquze personalities and question their choices. The gods are quite well written and you can understand their motives and ways. The thing that I find a bit annoying, is that there are a lot of charecters, and iat is sometimes hard to keep track of all of them.

Now to my main complaint: There is to much hopping in the Perspectives in my opinion. I understand, it is mostly so we can understand the world, but there are so many chapters dedicated to other heroes, that feel more like filler than actual story. Sure we learn how different Countries work, but it is not like you are interested in that stuff, if it is moree than 100 chapters later, that the main cast an even meet one of the people involved. Also I personally felt like the 1st ark which is in the end mostly set up for the actual story, that is promised at the start takes way to long.

Grammer wise there ae some slight mistakes, but nothing game breaking for me.

Overall, if you like the main setup of he story and the main charecter I can recomend it, and would advise skipping some later chapters about distant charecters, then it is quite nice to read.

 

David Will
Overall

Lots of potential but it just doesn't go anywhere

Reviewed at: Chapter 191 - 65 Gaw: Masterful Plan.

I rather enjoyed the story at the begiining and for the first hundred-odd chapters. The author's style, though, makes it harder for me to continue to find enjoyment in the story. I get it, the author goes by Cliff Hanger so there are going to be cliff hangers in the story. The author seems to enjoy celebrating this fact in the author's note for reasons that I do not understand. This is just a minor nuisance, but it feels like a sign of the change in the author's writting.

At the end of the day, it feels like the story tries to do too much and I have no idea how any of what the main character is doing fits into the overarching plot. There is an overarching plot, right? Ever since they left the dungeon...they're just drifting. Are they actually doing something? I couldn't begin to guess.

I don't mind slife of life stories, but this one just seems to be going nowhere and doing so in a very roundabout way. Perhaps the story will pick up again at some point, but I'm not sure I have the patience to wait for that day.

CazzTete
Overall

In this review : one thing i like and one i dont

The secondary characters in this novel are great, (russian, big Lady, general... ) they have interesting personalities and story and it's fabulous. 

As of chapter 50-ish the main plot in the dungeon is really being stretched out, the characters is the only thing keeping me reading, the pace is way too slow/repetitive with Quasi. 

theUnvisibleFox
Overall

I really like this type of story. Overpowered protagonist, but not too much that he cannot lose. Just enough that It still gives a sense of urgency of certain situations.

I like the writing style. Some may say that CliffHanger (author) has too many cliffhangers in the story, but I disagree. I think you have a perfect equilibrium there. (Almost) every chapter makes me want to come back and read more.

Thanks for the awesome story.

Crywolfseven
Overall

I have high hopes for this story.

I’m loving this story so far, it grew on me very quickly. At first I was wary as I was thinking it would turn into another OP MC story right away. Sure the MC is looking to become extremely powerful but it’s not like the normal OP MC where they can never be beat and can shoot laser beams that kill gods with ease or something. This MC survives by using knowledge litterally gained from countless lifetimes worth of personal experience and by being as quick witted as he is strong also with some occasional outright bluffs thrown in for good measure. I highly recommend this story. 

Carson6319
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Inexorable Choas (IC) follows an isekaier for hire. Having lived for over 9000 years, Quasi is used to dealing with betrayal, non-humans, the hidden nature of gods, and systems of growth like magic. With his extensive history he ends up hired by Loki, the god of choas, who aims to bring change to his world through its destruction. 

The enjoyable foundation is supported with a clearly planned out web of plots that are slowly intertwinned with shifting POVs which initially track three completely seperate groups. Unfortunately despite the clear consideration that has gone into these developments the story is left hamstrung by its grammar and style. 

Written in present tense, the story lacks a certain flow which you may come to expect from other works. This unforttunately makes everything feel more stunted and simple. Characthers feel one dimensional as their strengths and weaknesses are explained rather then developed over time. Sex scenes are skipped with only post cotius discussions emphaising how great everyone was. Dangers are presented but feel incredibly distant with even death feeling hollow. This issue is further heightened by mutiple cases of poor grammar and spelling, as has been discussed extensively in other reviews. 

Ultimately you get a work that reads like an incredible but very rough first draft. I would suggest to the author that they hit their next milestone and then review the intitial set of chapters. Consider changing the tense and what could be done to present each characthers strengths and personalities rather then telling them.