Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Strategy
Warning This fiction contains:
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An ex soldier is dropped into a forest unfamiliar. He meets people who speak a language he doesnt know, they wield weapons unfamiliar and fight forces unimaginable. This soldier chooses a path, a path few walk and none ever complete. He has chosen the path of mastery.

 

Pic isnt mine! Daily chapters are the aim, at a minimum of 2000 words. DO NOT HOWEVER EXPECT FLAWLESS WORK, THIS IS RAW AND UNEDITED, QUANTITY OVER QUALITY!

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tkhendrix22
  • Overall Score

So the premise is quite interesting, as is its execution. That being said it could use some tweaks. The journal style is interesting and works well with the conversational personality of the MC ( it also gives more leeway when it comes to details) but issues start cropping up when swapping perspectives. while he does explain why there is a swap it comes after the swap happens leaving the reader with a disjointed feeling. Basicly it goes from journal to standard omni- 3rd person and back rather quickly. The author might fix this with a single intro paragraph from the MC explaining that this is a jounal, why he is writing it and any other relevent info. 

UraniumSpoon
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Really a fun story to read, I have some minor quibbles but nothing that takes away from the interesting ideas and interesting progression of the fic. In my opinion, the weak points of the story are really that, while it does some things REALLY well, there are moments that are weaker in the same components, and so they stand out to me. 

1. The pacing.

Pro: I greatly enjoy how Irregular is willing to use timeskips, and recognize that in real life, things don't happen non-stop for weeks on end. The MC trains diligently and consistently, and takes menial tasks, and Irregular doesn't make you read all of them, while still acknoweldging that they exist. 

Con: Some of his relationship timing needs a bit of work. The descriptions of everyone as being attracted to everyone, even if nothing seems like it will really come of it, is a little unnecessary. When characters are queer it is a little shoved in your face especially in the case of his wife and Jisarila, though it is done well with Weira. His relationship with his wife is also a little shoehorned in, I think, though she is a compelling character after the additon. It could have benefitted from a little more of a drawn out process of his getting to know her, even a few scenes interspersed through a timeskip or something, though I really enjoy how he interacts with his adopted daughter. 

2. Characterization

Characterization is really good for characters that he has developed, but many of the side characters seem a little more like a list of traits than rounded out characters. Jisarila seems particularly susceptable to this, but perhaps that's because I want her to be more than she currently is. His daughter, with the addition of the latest chapter, has also taken a sharp left turn, where I would have loved a bit of foreshadowing or abnormalities in the previous chapters to allude to her abnormal stats. 

Overall, I really enjoy this story, and I hope it continues for a long time. 

_Spoon

Shadowing
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It’s a cool idea, very similar to ghost hound with mastery over levels, it was looking good until our author made some weird turns, *spoiler* we see this prostitute then boom marriage basically, Mc has a flex of his bank then house, felt very forced, the novel is about masteries and building them up right? But then we just skip over a large portion of the main story for this tangent, I feel like the author had an idea then mid way through he just said fuck it and gave up. Rather disappointing, it had a reasonable foundation that crumbled immediately  after it was set.

hagbart
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Good start and fresher take on the isekai premise. Excited to see how the story develops.

relyt118
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Setting, characters, etc. are all fine, but the style of writing is just so... dull.  Feels like I'm reading a documentary.  A great deal of (boring) telling and very little showing or dialogue

NEET of chivalry
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The story is very fast paced and fun. It has a likeable MC (to me atleast) and the random bouts of crazy ideas bring a lot of comedic scenes to the story.

My little problem is with the lack of commas. In both listing things and in the pauses in ones speech. It makes the flow of the sentence quite jarring. There are also the occasional typos.

Other than that, It was quite a fun ride and I am hoping for more chapters to come! Keep up the good work and keep pumping out those chapters, Mister Author!!

 

Yinko
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The idea is kind of cool, ignore a massive chunk of the setting and specialize.  It's just that every decision that the protagonist makes it utterly retarded. 

Shadebladez
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I like it, it's been a while since i've read something this original though. New races , no corrupted nobility, giant dungeons and a militairy academy now what's not to like ?

Overal the story keeps my attention and there are no horrible grammar faults. I do miss a bit of worldbuilding, don't get me wrong i love that there havn't been any info dumps but i would like it if the world get's a bit more fleshed out and if there is some more personal interaction with his "family". Mayby even some more detailed fighting scenes. I'm looking forward to the comming chapters.

azarth
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Love it. There are some Grammer errors but overall I think the take on leveling and the method of progression is neat.

Lordmiles
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Hi,

I have read until chapter 20. 

The novel is just bad. The MC is plain, the world has no details and the system is so bad explained that it makes no sense most of the time. 

 

I can elaborate more, but I will not. The novel is like this review, plain and dull