No Level Up

by zoci

Original ONGOING Action Fantasy Romance Sci-fi Anti-Hero Lead Harem LitRPG Male Lead Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Sexual Content

Aliens are real.

That much was for sure after the worldwide E.T. arrival two days ago. Nothing like most of the movies had depicted happened though, no attempt in world domination or any other kind of conflict from the third kind. There wasn't any communication at all other than a big screen hovering in the air around the object, and for some, it was disturbing.

8:45:55 until System implementation.
Worldwide data archiving in progress.

Many had welcomed the long-awaited System, while others were suspicious of the way the Alien had introduced itself. Will humans survive the alien invasion, or will Earth still even be in the hands of humanity at the end?

  • Overall Score
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Metaldagon
  • Overall Score

I could only read to 1.2 before the sentence structure started throwing me off hard enough to make me stop reading. I feel that should a good editor take a few passes over the story it might turn out to be a good story. It feels as if it was a machine translated story with extravagent words used to try to artificially upgrade the story.

madstack
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Concept is OK, but grammar/style is atrocious

Written after reading up to "1.10 - Ryo" (11th chapter). No spoilers.

Bad grammar is the number one roadblock for this novel. Perhaps it deserves better scores in things other than grammar, but it's difficult to tell. 

STYLE (1): It's all over the place. It looks like the author is trying to keep writing conversational, but poor grammar along with chaotically stringed sentences and generally choppy flow make for a poor reading experience. 

GRAMMAR (0.5): It's so bad I'm almost wondering if it's even English. Sentences don't follow the logic of English language, there are missing or extra words, words used in wrong context and so on. The author also seems to lack the vocabulary required for anything beyond communication. It quickly becomes frustrating to decipher the intended meaning behind what was written.

STORY (3): It seems promising. The premise is interesting, though nothing exceptional. Generally gives off an anime-ish impression. The problem is that Style and Grammar are so poor, they drown out everything else. There are also a lot of assumptions being made by the author, as certain perks of the System are just thrown in and characters don't seem to wonder about how or why they work, they just seem to accept them as cliché game-like elements.

CHARACTER (3): Didn't get to see that many characters, but what I did see seemed decent. Though it is strange when a person who spent his youth in a wheelchair is suddenly capable of walking, yet we don't see them rejoicing or adapting to their newfound ability to move around.

lostpike
  • Overall Score

Can't get past the grammar.

The grammar was just too much. I started writing notes for him but it was just too much to rewrite. 

It seems like it would be a good story. Hopefully the author gets someone who can sit down and go through it paragraph by paragragh making it flow better. 

CausticAnomaly
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Good Concept, Iffy Execution

Hey, this is a first for me. I've never written a review before so I want to see how this goes. This is less of a review and more providing recommendations and clarifying issues I have with the novel.

-currently read to chapter 1.12

Overview:

Quickly before jumping into anything in-depth, I like the concept and parts of the execution. Unique descriptions of how the powers work.

Spoiler: Spoiler

World-building Recommendations/Questions to think over:

The world concept reminds me of another novel on this site, the Scourged Earth. That's a compliment coming from me (I love that novel). I would recommend fleshing the world-building a bit more (this is something that that novel has an issue with as well). How did these settlements arise? How is food created and distributed? What is the hierarchy in these settlements? Do these people have jobs that are living there (an AI would find humans work to do to fortify the settlement or something)? What do they do to pass the time when they are not presumably working? Are the settlements connected through these adminstrators? Is their a network between all of the settlements?

Issues:

I see some errors in the sentence structure and word choice at times. I notice that you are not a native speaker. So having the errors down to so few is good. So, this is only minor to me. Good work.

The biggest issue I have with the web novel so far is the characters. The characters make no since to me. Everything feels so fake between each character and no one seems to have a personality. Every character feels too one dimensional. Sometimes they make absolutely no sense.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 I would probably rethink some of these interactions and maybe try to give more explanation as to WHY a character would act this way. If you are trying to convey that humanity is awful provide better justification and handle it with a bit more tact. 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 TL;DR - I have my problems with the novel, however you should give it a read to see an interesting concept if you have the time.

zigman2021
  • Overall Score

Author is an obviously non-native English speaker ripping off the much better written "The Scourged Earth" which is also on RR.

Characters are terrible, basics stolen from another fiction, prose is broken English. Just avoid this garbage.

Goldenfield
  • Overall Score

 crappy writing and a crappy story.                                                     

ZeroChan345
  • Overall Score

Not too overpowered not too underpowered

Feels like the character fits in right for his age and is interesting. He's a bit slow but also intelligent, like lots of things could have been done with his gifts but he got what he thought he needed for the situation and nothing more. I like this story and it's gonna be great if the author keeps up the good work.

vkg313
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This story is well written and interesting so far up to chap 1.7

I like the way the author nerfed the gamer ability with no level ups, only skill proficiencies. 

I also like that the quest rewards are points that can be used in the shop to make them stronger in leu of level ups.  It creates the atmosphere of doing interesting quests with no grinding for exp, and also limits the over all quest rewards for slow growth. It's like body modifications you pay for with work, instead of automatic increases in strength from level ups, in addition to quest rewards in a normal gamer story. 

Every increase in strength is preceded by changing the world in some way, other than just killing monsters.

Keep up the great work!

Bandicoot
  • Overall Score

First chapter was slowest.

Great start.  Quite enjoying the plot, some action, some character growth, moral grey zones... Lots to recommend!

 

Give it a try. You know you want to ..