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Chapter 27.

(POV Patriarch of the Good Fortune sect)

What the hell? What kind of dog shit did I step in for this to happen?

I couldn’t help but look at the ground at the brown residue beneath my feet. Really? I really stepped on some mighty fine dog shit this time. Look at that texture. Isn’t it quite impressive? The smush you get from planting your foot firmly on top of it.

No that’s not right! Darn it all! This isn’t the time to be admiring the crap I stepped on!

What is with these stupid purple clouds as far as the eye can see? Why are there are no clouds only above my sect?

This is absurd!

I thought I faced all my trials and tribulations when I was made a eunuch. Why can’t I live the easy life now?

Did I go wrong somewhere?

Was taking in that child a mistake after all?

This couldn’t be related to him, right?

He’s just a twelve year old child at the moment. There is no way he could have anything to do with this world shaking phenomenon.

But why is it he’s the first thing that comes to mind when I see this?

Maybe I really should have listened to elder Hitu when we first found the child.

One day we were making our way back from the capital city of the strongest empire, the Celestial Empire, after we had finished making our tributes. We saw quite an interesting scene on our journey back to the sect.

A child fell out of a rift from the sky. I shit you not. My luck wasn’t good enough for it to be a beautiful babe. Instead it was a little five year old boy.

Who am I kidding? Wishing for a beautiful babe to fall from the sky when I’m a eunuch, it would have been a sucker punch to the face if it really happened.

Anyways, I got into an argument with elder Hitu about taking the child into our sect. I took it as a good omen for the child to suddenly appear in front of me when I could no longer have children.

Elder Hitu was not so optimistic thinking it was to suspicious for a child to fall out of a rift from the sky for no apparent reason.

I admit he had a point, but I still insisted on taking the child in while stating I would take full responsibility if he truly had any ill intent. He was only five years old though, how could such an innocent child possibly hold such motives?

He was really cute you know. Absolutely adorable. I doted on him alot and I believe I raised him well if I do say so myself. He would get into trouble every now and then and elder Hitu would also make trouble for him while trying to probe to see if he was really loyal to the sect.

I bet that little girl Chu Yue really thought she was successfully manipulating him to move as she intended, but in reality elder Hitu and I have always been in cahoots.

I allow elder Hitu to do as he pleases as a form or tempering for the child, while I get to be the good doting parent on his side. It’s like playing good cultivator, bad cultivator. Although elder Hitu has his own headaches to deal with. His child is like that after all. Shooting for the wrong team is putting it nicely..

When he found out about it from that little girl, Chu Yue, he was of course furious towards his idiot son. He beat him for days trying to get him to look Chu Yue’s way. He even had his son take part in fighting against little Han to take the position of junior patriarch. He did everything to try to knock some sense into his child by turning the two into enemies, but it was all wasted effort in the end.

I still get chills whenever I think about it. How did it even happen? Why did it even happen?

No matter how I think about it, I still feel pitiful towards elder Hitu’s plight. Cursed to never have grandchildren due to his son’s preferences.

Well thinking about that lass Chu Yue, she is a bit too good for that idiot though. She is a beauty and quite the talent. She recently broke through to become an 8th realm mortal. She would be much better suited to my adopted child. If your son doesn’t want her, do you mind if I snatch her away for mine?

Alas, their relationship is far too complicated. That lass has only ever had eyes for elder Hitu’s son since they were young. They grew up closely together after all. She was picked up by elder Hitu from a small village when she was born.

Now that I think about it... when she was born, there were strange rumours going around. What was it again? I dismissed it as being nothing at the time thinking the villagers were crazy.

Right! That’s it! When she was born, there was a purple mist that emitted from her body that floated up into the skies above the village. They formed a small purple cloud that stuck around for a while before dispersing into nothing like they never existed.

Wait. Purple mist? Purple clouds? Is it actually her and not my adoptive child’s fault?

Ugh. Is this actually an auspicious sign of a genius being born?

Once I reached this train of thought I anxiously headed over to where Chu Yue’s assigned residence was.

When I reached outside of her cave I could see her standing on a rock in the middle of the river outside her cave. She was looking up towards the sky with a vacant gaze while her aura was fluctuating wildly. To my shock the girl who was only a day before an 8th realm mortal was now a 10th realm mortal.

A tear slid down from her cheek and she closed her eyes. She looked very lonely and pained standing there by herself.

While I was watching her silently without uttering a single word elder Hitu eventually made an appearance by my side asking what the situation was.

I pointed towards her and elder Hitu quickly looked over. He also came to the shocking realization that she was now a 10th realm mortal.

What kind of crazy shit did you do in a single day little girl? Did you meet some almighty cultivator and dual cultivate? You’re still a virgin, right? Right? My little Han may have his heart completely broken if you aren’t you know!

These rude thoughts were of course left unspoken. As the patriarch I must maintain my composure at all times so I let out a “not bad” instead.

Elder Hitu glared at me like he wanted to say something.

I knew him so well. His thoughts were definitely, “I was about to say that you old fart!”

Hahaha, you cannot out pose me young grasshopper.

Let’s talk when you are a 7th realm semi transcendent.

While we were having our own mental battle of wits, the fluctuations of energy around Chu Yue’s were becoming stronger and stronger.

It was obvious she was rapidly approaching a bottleneck where she was likely to burst through with an unstoppable momentum.

After an hour passed her aura exploded outwards as predicted while she broke straight through to become a 1st realm semi transcendent. The moment she did the clouds scattered outwards in all directions like the receding tide.

Holy crap, it really was this little girl?

That really was some nasty dog shit I stepped in earlier.

If it was little Han I might have been able to accept it due to his mysterious origins, but this little girl born in some random village was able to cause such a crazy disturbance?

She’s got to be on drugs.

Great little miss, do you mind sharing some with this old uncle?

I’m past my times, I can really use a boost if you know what I mean.

Haaah, whatever I’m too old for this.

“Congratulations on your breakthrough Yue’er.”

I was forced to put on this act while sucking up to a little girl. She is definitely going to be someone big in the future. Over the years I’ve come to learn you must grab onto the trunk of any big tree you can get ahold of. This little girl will definitely be one of the biggest of this generation.

Naturally, she completely ignored me though. She was still in her own little world with her eyes closed peacefully as if she had let go of some great obstacle in her heart.

Elder Hitu and I stood there awkwardly not know what to do.

This little girl treated us like air amd she mumbled to herself.

“Goodbye my old love.”

I couldn’t help but ask, “Yue’er how did you suddenly advance from an 8th realm mortal to the semi transcendent realm within one day?”

She still didn’t look at me like I doing so would ruin her mood, but this time she was nice enough to actually respond. “Maybe it’s the power of love?”

I really wanted to spit blood at this moment. I could hardly bring myself to believe in such nonsense.

Could the stress of having a gay fiance really cause breakthroughs? How am I supposed to replicate that? Maybe with elder Hitu?

I couldn’t help but look over to elder Hitu.

Elder Hitu seemed to read my mind as he sent a slap my way.

Naturally I would not let him ruin my image so I calmly backed off as quickly as possible.

Hah, you’re too naive. To hit this old timer with a wordless tsukomi you’ll have to train for another hundred years.

“What is the meaning of this elder Hitu?”

“Tch.”

He could only click his tongue and look the other way.

Such a tsundere for an old man.

“I’d like some time to myself please.”

Chu Yue said that while heading back into her cave to stabilize her cultivation base.

When she was about to step into the cave she stopped for a moment before calmly saying, “regarding the arranged marriage between Sai Hitu and I; I would like to annul it if possible. I am sorry uncle Hitu but I don’t think things will work out between the two of us no matter how hard I try. Also, I’ve found someone that looks at me properly and I hope you can forgive this selfish request of mine.”

“Chu’er I suppose I can yield to you on this seeing my son’s preferences. Is the one you have your eyes on little Han? If it is I can reluctantly accept if it really is that little brat. He isn’t as bad as I once thought after all.”

And your real thoughts are probably, if she gets with little Han your son will have to give up, right?

“Sorry but it is someone else.”

What? Holy mother of god! Did you really find some mighty sugar daddy after all?

Both elder Hitu and I were completely baffled by this unexpected turn of events.

I could only stutter out, “i-i-i-if it is not little Han then who is it Yue’er?”

She seemed a bit troubled over what to say and I could blatantly see her hesitation to answer.

She quietly said, “damn it, I would like to know that too!”

It’s over. Sorry little Han, she was definitely raped. Rape victim fell for the rapist. Little Han, it is a shame you weren’t born sooner. If you were, perhaps you would have been able to become that rapist.

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About the author

Kira Minoru

Bio: My transitions throughout life in order:
Anime - Manga - Light Novels - Web Comics - Web Novels - Writing.

Time spent in each category respectively:
|16 years |8 years|5 years|4 years|4 years|presently under 2 months as of 01/05/2018|

Seen the good ones for each category and can't seem to get into any works from any category lately. I read the highest rated comedies because I love to laugh but find myself thinking, what the hell? I'm not even laughing anymore. I've read so much that everything I read is just unoriginal and barely funny at this point.

I'll say this now, I'm definitely not good at writing nor do I want to be good at it. Rather, if I can make you laugh I'd say I've done my job.

It's a bit of a shame to admit it though, but I'm just a jack of all trades. I have no specialty in particular to be proud of.

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Comments(6)
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DragonWyrm @DragonWyrm ago

On what drugs are all your characters? I always knew that cultivates are junkies with all the "pills" they "use", but this sect must have some really special "pills".

Obnos @Obnos ago

Hah honestly it's awesome how original your characters minds work. Keep up the good work I love it. Good cultivator, bad cultivator...

SunnyB @SunnyB ago

thanks for the chapter

Agent374 @Agent374 ago

Thanks for the chapter.

AutumnHaze @AutumnHaze ago

“She’s got to be on drugs” that killed me 😂 and that sugar daddy part, wtf my stomach hurts 😂😂😂