Dating Trials of a Vampire Queen

A very interesting read. As far from Twilight as possible.

Let me give you the rundown.

Shannon Meeks, twenty something millennial house sitting for her creepy goth parents receives a package. The contents? A book and a letter revealing that Shannon is actually a vampire. What's more, her parents have locked up a literal fire birdman who is effectively immortal and the natural enemy of vampires in the attic. Now she has to deal the whole shitstorm of a supernatural prisoner and the natural urges of the blood hungry.

The story is interesting, with very nice chapter length and exquisite grammar, spelling and descriptive text.

Read up to chapter 47 before dropping.

The beginning is fantastic. I was very excited to see Shannon and Masaaki's relationship develop, was hoping for some fluff and healing - Masaaki's been through a lot. There was a mystery, did the parents really die, what were they trying to accomplish?

And then... The mystery is answered almost immediately, from a different character's perspective. Shannon later learns about it, and has... no reaction to the death of her parents. I get that they're murder rapists, but they loved Shannon, and immediately after learning about their deaths, she magically marries the one who killed them. That's pretty fucked up, and she should at least feel something.

But that's only the beginning of the problems. The story has spiralled out of control, trying to do too many things at once. It started out with the promise of romance, but quickly became a high-paced action novel, and more and more characters are introduced. Masaaki was introduced as special, a rare species that was the perfect companion to a vampire. But after everthing that's happened, with Masaaki getting barely any meaningful screentime, he just isn't special anymore. 

My recommendation would be to just... add sex-scenes. You clearly want to, and if there's porn, nobody cares if the story is coherent. 

I read until chapter 51, when I dropped it.

It started as a really interesting story about a vampire girl dealing with her daily live, but...

 The transition from the first half of the story to the second half is way too sudden.... 

Sorry if I made any grammatical mistakes, this is my first comment

I'm going to open this review with two things right off the bat. This novel is fantastic. I'm dropping this novel.

I know this sounds weird, but I'm only dropping this novel because I do not like male harems This might be a little sexist of me but I don't really like harems in general either, I just don't have any interest in reading one with a female lead and a bunch of men.

This said, I must make it absolutely clear that this is a very well done novel from the 40ish chapters I've read, so much so that I was willing to read that long knowing it's direction. Grammar is excellent, characters are extremely well done, and the background lore is very intriguing. I'm very picky with stories and yet I cannot fault this one at all and felt a need to review it.

I highly recommend this novel for anyone who likes this novels genres. You will not be disappointed.

I'm generally not a big fan of stories like this - those based around the modern world with fantasy elements, especially concerning the overly cliched use of vampires. I was pleasantly surprised however, when I saw how much it broke the mold of the genre. The vampires themselves are altered enough from the usual tropes that they could be considered nearly different beings, and their origin is far removed from the usual bullshit of random rituals or favor from a dark god. The world building itself seems pretty good, and the pace at which we learn things about the world is nice and fits seemlessly into the story, without the need for exposition dumps and erroneous plot contrivances.

The novel is written well in regards to style and grammar, and besides a couple missing prepositions that don't impact the reading of the novel, there are no issues.

The plot seems fine for the most part, but it doesn't really seem driven by the MC. She usually takes a reactionary approach to any problems that come up, and is too stupid to think through her own options and make decisions for herself, which brings me to talk about the characters.

As stated above, the MC seems much too stupid in regards to pretty much everything related to the plot, though there is reason to believe that she is smart academically. Her critical thinking skills seem poor at best, and so far she has never been given a chance to display any sort of individuality or drive. She doesn't even give any thought to embracing her own existence, and trying to use it for the better. She is given a thick book of spells and knowledge, which she immediately forgets about for no good reason and never decides to even attempt at learning about her heritage, instead being forced to take up martial arts by her supposed vassal (supposed because he's basically the master in this relationship). Shannon's last name fits her character to a T.

Masaaki isn't nearly as bad. His character seems consistent. My only complaint about him would be how fucking cringy he is. I have a low cringe tolerance, and having a samurai walking around in modern america is the definition of cringe. I would say Masaaki is the main driver of the plot which I don't believe to be the correct choice. It only emphasises the MC's weak will, ironically proving Masaaki correct when he claims women are too timid and weak. I'm not a sexist person, but she unfortunately fits the stereotype. I think that trauma and character flaws are one of the harder things to write well, and I think the author did write it well. We are often reminded of Masaaki's trauma of vampires, and it fits into the plot and his character growth. The reader can certainly feel his fear, and watching him cope and take steps to overcome it is an admirable show of his willpower, and makes him the only well written characters in the story. He seems more of a main character than Shannon.

The story as a whole is written quite well (which is a rare thing i've found in my time on this and other sites). I think that the MC brings the potential that the story has down to a level I'm not comfortable with. I would urge anyone who finds this story to give it a good try regardless of the negative things I've said. There are enough positive aspects to the book that the average reader would probably enjoy it greatly.

I'm a pretty pessimistic and critical person, and its easy for me to write bad reviews well, but difficult to make a properly constructive review. I may have missed some points that need making, and maybe I've been too mean and critical in my analysis, but I hope this doesn't rub anyone the wrong way. For the most part, it was an enjoyable read and I got up to chapter 50 before I decided to stop.

Oh and, one final note. I think the title and synopsis are too misleading. The book is hardly about dating (though there are way too many creatures eager to get her junk) and the synopsis is not indicitive of what you can expect from the story. If they throw you off thinking the book is a romance or bondage chick flick, scour the thought from your head before you start reading.

An intriguing piece of writing, to be sure. The title does a bit of disservice to the content, if you ask me, because while there are various trials that the characters face "dating" isn't really one of them up to the current chapter I've read (60). But despite that, I also think it's a good title. Because it reminds and informs the reader that, at the end of the day, this is a harem-type romance novel with a female lead. Any one of those words in the previous sentence can turn readers away, but if they don't discourage you I can give this book my wholehearted recommendation. Even if they do discourage you, I might recommend it anyway. 

Because it is fascinating. The world is vast and interesting. The author has created their own magical world that bears little resemblance to any of the familiar classic vampire mythology, entwined it with the myths and legends of various cultures to create a menagerie of fantastical magical creatures and places for the main character to try her best to avoid getting killed or enslaved by. Which, as of chapter 60, is what most of the story has been - the main character meeting strange and fantastical monsters that, incidentally, want to murder her on sight. Followed by her adventures in clumsily stumbling through the unfamiliar magical world, trying to deal with the various threats to her life and liberty.

The author has mentioned that they have other books published somewhere else. It shows through in the way that they write very well, at a much higher standard than the average here on RRL. I'm not an English major or anything so I won't comment on whether or not it's grammatical perfection - I'll just say that I think it's very good. Also, in my opinion, I think the author is quite an impressive storyteller. It's a hard thing for me to describe with words but I certainly feel like this is a "good story" in the sense that it isn't overly bogged down by minute details or quickly glossing over important events. It avoids all the common pitfalls - no lengthy exposition dumps or the like. 

The only thing I dislike then, are the characters. The so-called harem. None of them are very likable or (as of chapter 60) close to the main character. They are all written as deeply flawed individuals - presumably (I'm guessing) so they can slowly grow into better people as they grow closer to the main character - but that still leaves you, the reader, reading about a bunch of unlikeable pricks all the time. A lot of the power relations in the setting are sort of "all-or-nothing" as in (100% mindfucked into being a slave or not) which, I imagine, makes things difficult - because of course, the main character can't just magically / physically dominate everyone she meets because that would be boring. But, unfortunately, that leaves her in the role of the character being magically and/or physically dominated. And all the male leads do it. They either literally place her in some sort of magical ensnarement, or literally physically overpower her - their introductory chapters are all just some weird guy bumbling into the story and staking a claim on the main character with their weird powers. And, of course, they are all - at best - just sort of generally dismissive of her wants and needs or - at worst - completely unable to recognize her as an individual with thoughts and desires of her own. It's weird and frustrating but maybe it's just a romance novel thing.

This review got a bit negative at the end there but all in all I think this is a great novel that has a lot of potential to keep getting better.

 This is having read up through chapter 49. 

Style and grammar: Absolutely nothing to complain about. Grammar is pretty well perfect, and the authors style flows wonderfully. You will get sucked in.

Characters:Unique characters that all have wonderful quirks. This was quite possibly one of the best stories on this site until we got to where the author originally had writers block. 

Story: It started out so very well, I was incredibly excited. Great world building and fantastic characters. Then the story after the writers block came. All of a sudden, these wonderful characters developed terminal stupidity. Ignore the little girl, we manly men that are practically ancient shall handle everything. People started out talking about issues, like rational adults. Now they fly off doing whatever they want, and just do stupid stuff. Assaulting a band of vampires alone, leaving the main character home alone, and the samurai suffering vampire withdrawal in the truck. Never mind that the samurai can blast out light, let's leave him behind. And the main character decides to run back buy someone from the slavers that just ripped her off.  Sorry, but it just killed the story for me. 

Now if you missed the sarcasm in the description you may think this is some kind of femdom themed erotic novel. However very early on you’ll quickly learn this is not the case nor a trashy vampire romance for that matter, rather it is a well crafted (grammatically speaking) romp through a millennials sudden and entirely unwanted circumstances from (re)learning the depravity of her parents to having a samurai from the 13th century with all his ...quirks for want of a better term to say the least dumped on her. So far in all i can say is with a hint of possible romance if the hurdles are overcome and a dash of looming threat this has promise whether in romance, adventure or otherwise.

A very early review-ch7

Best story I've read on royal road. Seriously, I usually can't stand harem, but here is the one exception. I've been trying (and failing) to find more of your work. The character motivations were believable and heart-wrenching, the plot had me engaged completely, and the main character had agency and brains. Thank you for this wonderful gift.

The title seemed a bit off at first, I thought it was going to be a flippantly written stream of consciousness much like books with similar titles. However, this turned into a bingeworthy fic worthy of the top fifty on this site... easily.