I don't want to be the Hive Queen

I don't want to be the Hive Queen

by ValetheHowl

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

Marcus is a young man that had a very bad day at work. 
First, he had a horrible customer during his shift. Then he got fired by his boss. And after that, he got shot to death during a robbery. 
And to top it all of, he awakened with the body of a weak and strange creature in a fantasy world full of deadly monsters. 

And that's just Monday!

Now Marcus will have to find a way to survive as a Vex Queen, but to do so his bravery and determination are not enough. He needs to build a hive that will protect him, as it won't be just monsters that he'll have to face... 


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Wiki (thanks to Yulwei for making it)

Patreon (throw money at the writing monkey to make it write faster)

Discord (drop in to have a chat or ask things about the story!)

The release schedule for this novel should be one chapter per week.


Cover art by Kukuruyo

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ValetheHowl

ValetheHowl

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Table of Contents
128 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 0 - Prologue ago
Chapter 1 - Bubble Tea Trouble ago
Chapter 2 - A Mother's Disappointment ago
Chapter 3 - Mission One: Start! ago
Chapter 4 - Oh Deer! ago
Chapter 5 - Snake Eater ago
Chapter 6 - Crab Battle ago
Chapter 7 - Laugh Wolf ago
Chapter 8 - Cave Story ago
Chapter 9 - Bugging me out ago
Chapter 10 - Shedding Worries ago
Chapter 11 - At Turtle's Pace ago
Chapter 12 - Fruits, Bacon and an Egg ago
Chapter 13 - The Puppy ago
Chapter 14 - A Boy and his Dog ago
Chapter 15 - Three's a charm ago
Chapter 16 - Chess and Goblins ago
Chapter 17 - Hello Neighbor ago
Chapter 18 - Night Raid ago
Chapter 19 - Firing my laser ago
Chapter 20 - Better served cold ago
Chapter 21 - Homecoming ago
Chapter 22 - Home Sweet Home ago
Chapter 23 - May I give you a suggestion? ago
Chapter 24 - Don't Shoot the Messenger ago
Chapter 25 - Tremors Underground ago
Chapter 26 - Looming from Above ago
Chapter 27 - Expecting Visitors ago
Chapter 28 - Mutual Flashing ago
Chapter 29 - Rib Caged ago
Chapter 30 - Happy Meal ago
Chapter 31 - No Fighting in the War Room ago
Chapter 32 - Dance Earth Dance ago
Chapter 33 - A Tactical Retreat is not Running Away ago
Chapter 34 - Reasonable Instincts ago
Chapter 35 - Awkward Silence is not Golden ago
Chapter 36 - A Pain in the... ago
Chapter 37 - Questioning Question ago
Chapter 38 - Call on Hold ago
Chapter 39 - I know that you know that I know ago
Chapter 40 - In the Eye of the Beholder ago
Chapter 41 - Eye to Face Conversation ago
Chapter 42 - Scheming Schemers Scheming ago
Chapter 43 - Career Path Picnic ago
Chapter 44 - I want my Broodmommy ago
Chapter 45 - Mistakes have been made ago
Chapter 46 - Talk Magic Talk ago
Chapter 47 - Night Raid ago
Chapter 48 - Armorgeddon ago
Chapter 49 - Are you ready for a war!? ago
Chapter 50 - Saving Private Lycan ago
Chapter 51 - Bamboozled ago
Chapter 52 - Pay the Piper ago
Chapter 53 - Dressing Up ago
Chapter 54 - Boys are Back in Town ago
Chapter 55 - We're out of Coffee ago
Chapter 56 - Test your Might! ago
Chapter 57 - Failed a Diplomacy Check ago
Chapter 58 - The Battle of Brettholz Part 1 ago
Chapter 59 - The Battle of Brettholz part 2 ago
Chapter 60 - The Battle of Brettholz part 3 ago
Chapter 61 - The Battle of Brettholz part 4 ago
Chapter 62 - The Battle of Brettholz part 5 ago
Chapter 63 - The Battle of Brettholz part 6 ago
Chapter 64 - Wine and Whining. ago
Chapter 65 - A Random Encounter ago
Chapter 66 - Extra Thicc ago
Chapter 67 - Panic at the Feast ago
Chapter 68 - Hoggs' School for Gifted Youngsters ago
Chapter 69 - Nice ago
Chapter 70 - Coffee Rush ago
Chapter 71 - The Queen's New Clothes ago
Chapter 72 - Breakfast of the Champions ago
Chapter 73 - Little Shop of Horrors ago
Chapter 74 - A Study in Feeling Blue ago
Chapter 75 - Girl Talk ago
Chapter 76 - Always Expect the Unexpected ago
Chapter 77 - Quarrel in the Quarry ago
Interlude 1 - It's all Ogre Now ago
Interlude 2 - A Spider's Parlor ago
Interlude 3 - Rip and Tears ago
Interlude 4 - Acid Advisors ago
Interlude 5 - Nuke it! ago
Chapter 78 - Hive Sweet Hive ago
Chapter 79 - Be Careful Who You Call Ugly In Middle School ago
Chapter 80 - Full Metal Jacket ago
Chapter 81 - Naked Socializing ago
Chapter 82 - Wakey Wakey ago
Chapter 83 - Hand Holding ago
Chapter 84 - First Contact ago
Chapter 85 - A Beer, a Broad and a Bonfire ago
Chapter 86 - Grating Greetings ago
Chapter 87 - Talking Tactics ago
Chapter 88 - A Trip Down Memory Lane ago
Chapter 89 - The Wild Chase ago
Chapter 90 - Don't look an angry dragon in the mouth ago
Chapter 91 - Hardcore Pawn ago
Chapter 92 - Head Start ago
Chapter 93 - Not Mad, Just Disappointed ago
Chapter 94 - Reinforced Denial ago
Chapter 95 - Cloning Blues ago
Chapter 96 - Let them Eat Cannibal Cake ago
Chapter 97 - Smoke and Stew ago
Chapter 98 - Slugfest ago
Chapter 99 - Burn Baby Burn ago
Chapter 100 - Pins and Needles ago
Chapter 101 - Potty Break ago
Chapter 102 - A Present from the Past ago
Chapter 103 - Biting Conscience ago
Chapter 104 - Raid Interruption ago
Chapter 105 - Of Wolves and Men ago
Chapter 106 - Windtalker ago
Chapter 107 - I Have the High Air ago
Chapter 108 - Scaroused ago
Chapter 109 - Battleplanning ago
Chapter 110 - An Explosive Beginning ago
Chapter 111- The Battle of Treval Part 1 ago
Chapter 112 - The Battle of Treval part 2 ago
Chapter 113 - The Battle of Treval part 3 ago
Chapter 114 - The Battle of Treval part 4 ago
Chapter 115 - The Battle of Treval part 5 ago
Chapter 116 - The Battle of Treval Part 6 ago
Chapter 117 - Is this Loss ago
Chapter 118 - Losing your Head ago
Chapter 119 - A Lesson in Humility ago
Chapter 120 - Don't Lose your Head ago
Interlude - Voices in the Woods ago
Chapter 121 - The Best Meal ago

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Thundamoo
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I absolutely, wholeheartedly, and completely love this story.  I also have a fair chunk of complaints about it.

This is one of my favorite stories on the site and I always look forward to updates.  I recently binged through a heavy chunk of chapters that I hadn't caught up on for a while, and it was immensely enjoyable.  But I am, fundamentally, very biased.  I really love gender bender, I really love isekai, and I really love hive minds... and this is a gender bender isekai about hive minds.  It could be half as good, and I would devour it.  

Thankfully, it happens to be good.  The writer has a solid grasp of grammatical rules and there are no glaring errors anywhere in the story.  But there is a prevailing sense of... I'm not really sure a good way to put it.  Motivational simplicity?  

Characters seem to lack nuance.  They have trait X and therefore perform Y action in situation Z.  It feels like the author comes up with things they want to happen, and then finds a way to use character traits or introduce character traits that make things happen that way.  And yes, that is a perfectly normal and reasonable thing for authors to do... but I, as the reader, shouldn't be feeling like the author is doing that.  I want to feel like the characters are deep, complex, living people.  If I were to give advice to the author regarding this, it would be to stop explaining the play-by-play of each character's logic so often: the "that made sense, so they did this" explanation is much less compelling than just describing how characters feel, how they react, and showing the results of that logic.  Letting us infer the thought process behind it ourselves, don't just list it out unless it's particularly essential to do so.

The next main thing I find disappointing in the story is how the internal conflict of the main character's sex change impacts the narrative: which is to say, not really at all.  This isn't entirely unreasonable: Marcus remarks multiple times that he has far more pressing issues to worry about than his genitals, and he arguably does, having so far been in a constant fight for survival.  But there is downtime, and even when it is brought up directly, it... isn't really.  Marcus's attitude is very "go with the flow" regarding gender, enabling the author to put him in amusing situations where he feels dysphoric but unable to comment or correct others about it.  It's following classic gender bender tropes to a T, which (to genre-savvy readers) makes it seem inevitable that he will one day alter how he identifies to match his body, as such stories usually end up.  There's nothing wrong with that, but it does take the anticipation out of the whole internal conflict thing.  It would be nice to have a more nuanced approach to the idea of gender dysphoria than "haha, boy is in dress" but it is what it is.  I also wish Marcus would have less of a foul mouth when it comes to his newfound biology... he seems quite disrespectful towards himself in ways that would be very worrying in a real person, and I find them painful to read.  That said, I can't deny a propensity for crude language is a well-established trait of his.  

Despite these gripes, I still love this story.  It, as the title says, hits my jam zones, and it hits them hard.  While it could be improved, it is at the end of the day solid story about many things I love mashed together into the most delicious of word soups.  I am overjoyed to have this story in my life, and look forward to more of it!

levitysoulwit
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I should clarify. There have been a lot of chapters recently going into the human companions the MC has picked up. I think that's fine, break it up every so often, but it has felt like the MC's relation with humans has subsumed - what I expected, anyway - a story about a chimera factory dealing with a hostile fantasy world while coming to terms with female, bug and female bug issues.

/rant

Sorry, I don't want to give the impression I dislike this story. I really do like it, can't wait for the next chapter and I think in a few months this story could really take off. I hope it does. But I fear it could get bogged down before it has a chance to explore this richly built world.

zoru_22
Overall

Fun for the first 20 chapters, turns into slog

Reviewed at: Chapter 99 - Burn Baby Burn

I don't wanna be the Hive Queen starts off with a fun premise. Gotta say I love me some isekai into inhuman bodies, and generally alien perspective stories, so it earns a lot of points just on that front.

 

Unfortunately, the story loses interest in the main character and shows things from too many alternative point of views. It also loses interest in what I'm reading the story for- a fantasy story about a character in an alien body trying to learn to navigate and cope.

Additionally, the character gets really immature. "coochie this coochie that, get over yourself" is what I want to say. I also am kind of tired of the hemm-ing and haww-ing over sex of the body of the main character. It's not that I want to be dismissive of dysphoria et cetera, but as a reader the way it's being handled gets annoying.

 

The antagonist who shows up is soo wildly and obnoxiously OP. They literally have plot armor guiding their way into power.

The bugs are vague gesturing at bugs, rather than attempts at capturing what a hive would be like.

 

All these flaws wouldn't be so bad, but when mixed together, the story turns bland pretty fast.

NauvooLegion86
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I've tried to get through this story a couple of times in the past. Each time, I was turned away by the bad grammar, terrible characterizations, and constant POV shifts to other characters I don't care about. But this time I buckled down and decided that I was going to give it another shot. I keep seeing this story up near the top of the 'trending' page and the premise is very interesting, so against my better judgement I gave it yet another chance. They say that trying something over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. I definitely feel like I've lost a lot of my remaining sanity after spending a day slogging through this webnovel.

(The rest of this will contain spoilers so if you still care for some reason, you have been warned)

First of all, the main character is incredibly obnoxious and characterized in a conceptually weak way. He is short-sided, bad at planning, ignorant, and stupid. He swears constantly, going on prolonged screaming rants when something doesn't go his way. It's incredibly distracting and adds literally nothing to the story. It's just... gross, for lack of a better word. He can't express his emotions in any way besides screaming obscenities at the sky, which isn't enjoyable to read. On that note, he is also incredibly crass and rude about basically everything. It's impossible for there to ever be any weight to anything that happens in the story because immediately following anything Marcus demonstrates his 'wit' by, you guessed it, swearing up at the sky about how he is angry or how he is pleased. I just can't take any of it seriously.

This isn't so much a problem anymore, but back when he was alone in the forest Marcus would constantly talk to himself, letting the audience know exactly what he was thinking. It was boring and unrealistic since no normal, non-scizophrenic person talks to themselves as much as this dude. He would talk about his desires, his hopes and plans, in a way that was painfully expository and tell-don't-show. He was basically spewing constant verbal diarrhea, like he was incapable of forming thoughts if he didn't voice them out loud. 

His characterization is very all over the place and incoherent. He constantly thinks of himself as a man and yet has been placed in the body of an insectoid hivemind queen. However his thought process doesn't match either of these people- he acts like an angry, petulant little child, uncaring of both the higher noble ideas he supposedly followed as a man and the desire to grow, expand, and nurture the Hive that the Hive-Queen is supposed to have.

In fact I see the whole gender-swapped thing to be totally pointless. All it does is make a bunch of weird and uncomfortable situations for us to read, none of which are enjoyable. And the way the author handles it is weirdly sexualized and trivialized. Like you would think that maybe the story could explore Marcus learning what it actually means to be a woman, the strengths and weaknesses of it, how it differs from being a man. The way people treat you differently, the way women talk to and interact with each other rather than with men, the different instincts and ways of thinking that in some ways would be very strange to the male mind, the role in the biological order of nurturer as well as protector, the very political ways in which women determine heirarchies in their groups. Etc. Maybe he gains a new appreciation for the relative simplicity of most male interactions, or comes to better understand what women go through in their lives. We could have a really interesting psycological discussion about just what seperates men from women, how much of it is cultural, how much of it is biological. What does it really mean to belong to either sex. But the most we ever get are situations in which people see Marcus' obviously female body and treat him like a little girl (because he acts like one). Then we get his internal monologue where he goes "no, no, that bad. I not girl, I man! Stupid!" and feels uncomfortable. Riveting stuff. From Marcus' point of view you would think that being female is essentially a meaningless characteristic, it does little to change his behavior or thought process beyond (possibly, assuming he wasn't already like this as a supposedly full-grown man) making him more trusting, naive, and volatile emotionally (and doesn't that say something interesting about the author's knowledge of women). 

And the way he interacts with his own body is really weird. He seems to be sexually attracted to HIMSELF, calling himself cute. There's one memorable scene where he admires himself in a mirror and twerks his buttocks, calling it the 'perfect ass' or something like that and bemoaning the fact that he has finally found the perfect posterior but it is attached to him. I mean, what? And there are these weird moments where he is mortified because he is now attracted to men, denying fervently that he could have any sexual thoughts about his same gender. It's very weird, but it seems to serve no purpose besides making him uncomfortable and flustered. This for the sake of... comedy? I've certainly never felt the slightest bit amused by any of these scenes where he struggles with this dysmorphia of the body. And whether you support the trans movement and all that jazz or not, one gets the feeling that the author is trying to adress these issues, but doing so in the least sensitive and most jarring ways possible. 

Honestly, if the author refuses to explore any actually interesting ideas with the premise, than it has no reason to exist. I would have just made the main character a woman to begin with, its a needless conflict that adds nothing but dead weight to the narrative.

The premise of a human becoming an alien hivemind is wasted on this main character. One of the things that I find interesting about these sci-fi bug swarms, these devouring swarms, is that they have an intense loyalty to their queen and their race. They are unwavering in their determination, single-minded and unyielding, unwaveringly directed towards their goals at all time. Sure they're generally evil and want to consume the world, but they're also really cool and have a bunch of interesting skills and advantages from all being one mind. Exploring that coolness through a hive-mind with human morality, where they can repurpose that drive, determination, and loyalty towards noble goals, sounds like a super interesting read. But the main character trivialises the whole thing. He has little to no maternal instinct and sees all of the drones as mere tools to do his bidding. He takes little pride in his creations and has no particular fondness for them despite the fact that they came from the Hive Queen's body and are literally his children. The Vex themselves also don't have any spark of individuality themselves besides protecting the queen when in duress, which was dissapointing.

And despite all of this Marcus is kind of a Mary (Gary?)-Sue. I don't mean that in the way that everyone magically loves him or he doesn't have any real problems, I mean that he has no real engaging internal struggle and little to learn. He acts incredibly stupidly like trusting the Marquis immediately or assenting to living under the laws of an empire he knows nothing about, but he is never punished for it. And what internal character flaws does he really have, that need fixing? Because the whole point of a narrative with a main character, especially a hero's journey like this is loosely based around, is for the character to LEARN something, to improve in some way. Marcus' problems are, as I see it: 1) He struggles to contain his Vex instincts which tell him to devour and destroy everything in sight for the good of expanding the Hive, and 2) He has to reconcile his memories of life as a man with his new life as a woman. In the former case he has literally already mastered his instincts, he can control them and nothing bad had ever really happened because he lost control. This right here should probably have been his main struggle and source of growth as a character, but its treated as little more than a temporary inconvenience. In the latter case, again it doesn't really cause any serious problems like his lack of understanding of how women actually act. It just acts as a sort of discomfort and there are no real repercussions or additional difficulties to being a man in a woman's body. When he tells his friends that he is really a man they don't even care that much. It's not a big deal, apparently in this world its been known to happen before but there's little to no stigma attached to it even though this is a highly spiritual medieval society with (presumably) ingrained ideas about gender roles and the role of women in society. And if they don't then I don't know why this is set in a medieval world at all unless its just to act as window-dressing for people with a modern liberal worldview. 

The sad thing is that there are the inklings of greater, more interesting conflicts, but none of that is explored. He has trouble regulating his emotions- give him anger issues, make him have to master himself and his anger as well as his violent instincts. Give all those vitriolic rants a narrative purpose. Or we are told at the beginning of the story that he deeply cares about his mother and is determined not to leave her on her own to fend for herself. And yet through the book he barely spares a thought for this woman who he supposedly loves most in the world and is devoted to providing for. Make him agonize about his old life and the people he left behind- can he go back? Does he WANT to go back? In the beginning of the story we get a little bit of this but it doesn't seem to last long before Marcus just pushes it from his mind and doesn't worry about it anymore. Or take the fact that he knows nothing about surviving in the wilderness. Have the story be more survival-oriented as Marcus learns more about surviving, devising primitive technology, building stuff (he was training to be a civil engineer after all) and mastering his environment. And he knows little about biology as well. Have him learn more about animals, evolution, and the amazing survival strategies devised by the earth's (in this case, another planet's) organisms. Both of those together would be WAY more interesting and satisfying than this whole thing about protecting a random human kingdom against a horde of orcs or whatever.

The worldbuilding in the story is alright. Some parts are good and genuinely creative, but most of it is pretty standard fantasy fare. I like the idea of orcs as a giant horde of monsters, almost a natural disaster rather than normal organisms. The whole thing with aura and magic-users is pretty generic and boring. The idea of a hyper-competitive magical forest where mystical beasts fight each other constantly for survival is pretty interesting, although it doesn't seem like a feasible, self-sustainable system even within the universe's own internal rules. We got the obligatory crappy map a few chapters ago showing off the generic kingdom of such-and-such, and it was predictably bland. Some forests, a few towns, a line of mountains in the distance. I kind of like the idea of the goblins subverting our expectations and actually becoming a fully intelligent, prosperous race. The racial essentialism we see in fantasy all the time is in really poor taste in my opinion- the dwarfs are always loud and violent, the elves flighty and effeminate, the goblins half-sentient savages, etc. I think this is very much against the spirit of what Tolkien wanted with his original works- one of the major themes was characters becoming more than just their racial stereotypes to accomplish great things that were never expected from them (like Middle-Earth being saved by hobbits, or the friendship between Gimli and Legolas). This story suffers from that a bit as well, but its sort of mitigated by the fact that the various 'savage' races have powerful leaders that challenge them to be more civilized and organized. It would be nice if they were capable of this all on their own without being forced to by diktat- it seems like a rather Legalistic (in the Chinese sense) view of the world in that the weak are incapable of ruling themselves and need a powerful state/dictator to save them from themselves- but whatever. 

One thing that I thought was an example of really weak worldbuilding is how the author constantly has to resort to telling instead of showing what this world is actually like. Characters go on long explanatory digressions to talk about things that everyone else in this world should already know, purely for the benefit of the reader. The real kicker is in a couple of the author notes, where the author outright explains what different things are and how they work. He couldn't come up with a single way to work these things into the story and let the audience learn more about this world gradually with Marcus as he grows and matures as a character. We had to be outright told about them so that we could follow the story. This is the first rule of storytelling!

One thing I thought was overkill- the multiple isekais. I don't get what the point of it is, it adds little to the story (except with the main villain being a fairly damning caricature of the greedy entitled weeb). One isekai with the main character makes sense, two is acceptable if its for a main villain worthy of the MC, four or possibly even five if Thrakk is really one as well is just too much. And I really hate the subtext implied here.

All of these normally 'savage' races are being united and somewhat civilized at the same time by people who are really just humans wearing their respective race's skins. The humans are smarter, stronger, and generally better in every way than their non-isekai counterparts. They take power fairly effortlessly (or at least it is never explored what exactly had to do to amass their power, again with the possible exception of Thrakk). The idea seems to be that these races are superior physcially to humanity but are too stupid to take advantage of their strength. They were just waiting around for someone actually intelligent to come around and harness that strength. The earthlings, because of their human upbringing, are naturally smarter, more talented, and better than others. Their minions have little to no ideas of their own and would be as helpless and disorganized as beasts should their leaders fall. It's a strangely Earth-centric worldview and very paternalistic and condescending, almost outright racist, against those who are not blessed to come from the land of "Truth" and "Civilization." Some might call it a stretch, but it reminded me of Kipling's "White Man's burden." The enlightened earthlings must come to this savage world and impose their own worldview upon the natives, to show the poor savages the error of their ways and ensure prosperity for them under the leadership of a superior people. I think it was probably not intentional, but I dislike it nonetheless.

As for the other characters, there is little to say. They are mostly one dimensional except for those who are lucky enough to be upgraded to two-dimensional. The Marquis is a caricature of an inept noble, the flying Hero (can't remember his name) is a caricature of a seasoned superhero, etc. Marcus' two friends are extremely boring- their eventual romance is painfully obvious from their first interaction, and while they do contribute to Marcus' character development someone there just isn't much for them to work with. Klara bonds with Marcus by promising not to tell anyone about him laying the eggs for all the Vex, but I don't really get why it's such a big deal to begin with. I mean, how stupid can everyone be that they don't make the incredibly obvious connection between the Queen in charge of the hive and where the eggs come from? And sure it's embarassing for Marcus to be laying eggs, which I suppose he objects to because it's too femine and vulnerable a position for him to feel comfortable in (because he must constantly be made uncomfortable by his new body for some reason) but its not a huge deal, he can't help it. But anyway there's that, but it doesn't really change the way Marcus views himself or his new body at all- he doesn't seem any closer to accepting his new identity, he just gradually becomes more desensitized to his own bodily functions over time. I'd say that pretty much every character serves only to move the plot along, and none of them really have motivations, hopes. or dreams of their own that matter. They don't have their own story arcs or lessons to learn, they are just there to interact with Marcus. 

In terms of grammar the story is a mixed bag. Sometimes the author uses fairly big words that I've never seen before, which a dictionary search reveals is actually a real word and fits pretty well with the scene. But there are also a lot of spelling and grammatical errors, and the speech between characters is often stilted. You can easily tell that this isn't the author's first language. I don't mean to be rude but I think that he should have either gone off to polish his English skills first before beginning to write the story or gotten ahold of an editor to help him fix the many errors in his writing. 

Overall, I'd say this webnovel is a massive waste of potential and a big dissapointment. The main hook/idea of it- a human being being transported into the mind of a monstrous Xenomorph/Borg/Grex/Tyranid/etc Hive Queen and trying to survive in a hostile alien world- is fantastic. It's super interesting and unique, and I wish there were more stories like it. But the execution is mangled beyond all redemption. You'd basically have to rewrite the entire thing in order to fix the many issues I saw while reading it. I wanted to like this story, I really, really did. I've tried multiple times in the past to get into it, telling myself that its such an interesting plot idea, and the story is so popular on Royal Road, that it must get a lot better down the road. It doesn't. That's just hours out of my life that I'll never get back.

DisillusionedAcronym
Overall

 i think i wanted to like the story more than i actually liked the story? i like both the setting/world creation and the premise. it might not be absolutely "original" but it is novel enough to be worth acne attempt. i even managed to tolerated the extended flip flopped POV. but MC remained consistently whiny and idiotic. (i mean,credit for consistency? i guess?) but, for me, i'd like just a little intelligence from my MC? i mean, i can accept/understand the initial shock. but eventually, i'd like some progress.

 

that said, though, while it isn't for me, i do recommend giving it a whirl. you might not be the cranky and whiny asshole i am and be able to accept MC's faults better. because if you can, i think there's a worthwhile story here.

FallenNorth
Overall

Well the story was good for the first arc but the main character has seen no real growth, development, or meaningful gains since the start of more recent arcs. mostly boring meaningless tripe. this, combined with the slow updates, means that i'm bored of the story and will be dropping it.

StolenPasta
Overall

The premise is mega unique and honestly the best aspect of the story, I'm addicted to isekai but this is heavily downgraded by the MC, Marcus. 

Marcus is advertised as a college student who's had a rough go with job finding and gets isekaied. Anyways despite being this resilient man in his past life, as a hive queen, he just turns into a dummy.

His actions are wholly naive despite having spent a long time in society and experiencing the deceptiveness of others himself. When interacting with people he'll just show all his cards, reveal all his abilities, be brutally honest to the point that you wonder, "Man, is this guy trying to get himself killed?"

Despite being a full grown man (alleged), he always acts like a young girl, squealing, brooding in self pity and the like. What's the point of the whole isekai trope if the guy is gonna have a whole personality change for little explained reason? 

The personality of Marcus in his past life doesn't match up with his actions and thoughts as a hive queen. And I get that turning into a hive queen is gonna have some mental trauma, but the sudden nativity and overly trusting nature, especially when factoring that he was exploited in his previous life, is very offputting.

Anyway, enough rant. The premise is great, MC is off Good? Good.

ilir
Overall

isekai (read until chapter 43)

Reviewed at: Chapter 53 - Dressing Up
It is terribly depressing that the protagonist is busy almost 90% of the story sinking into self-pity because he cannot accept not being human.

The idea that being human is not important as long as he acts humanistically towards sentient life does not come to him with his limited mind.

The MC emphasizes in the story of himself not to consider himself an idiot, only to then act like one all the time. In short, the MC is a standard isekai which considers itself to be particularly male, which only makes it more strenuous. Apart from that he mostly irrationally bases his actions on negative emotions.

Apparently he has no vigilance towards people either. He should know that humans can be the most mendacious and evil creature of all. When he is spied on in his own house without prior permission, he feels no resentment towards people. When you consider that there are regular violent racist attacks even in our supposed civilized world, I don't want to know how disgusting people would be towards a non-100% human life form. So we can add naivety as a character trait to the MC.


Otherwise I am completely "what me exclamation mark" opinion of the novel is otherwise really great. I can hardly bear the MC but that is probably due to personal preferences on my part. Such a story with an MC who has a strong rational personality would be incredibly great.

It is so sad how much potential is burned here in isekai hell.
 
All my criticisms relate to the fact that I personally don't like the character of the MC. So this is not to be understood as a criticism of the novel itself. Many other readers do not have these MC behavior problems.
 
(Please excuse my bad english)
zmtewe01
Overall

For the most part, I like this story, however there are many little problems that turn this from an enjoyable read to a chore.

I really like the concept of having a zerg-like character, working to build their own hive, and actually having a good relationship with nearby human settlements. It was a joy to see them figure out their abilities, and use them to fight off the goblins.

The main character's way of cursing is my biggest recuring pain. I'm perfectly fine with a character cursing, but every time Marcus curses, which is frequent, he makes up his own curses and they sound stupid (Craptastic hell, diggitly damnity).

There are times where a character's dialogue sounds unrealistic or unnatural. This generally happens when something needs to be explained, like an ability or a plan. They sound like a bad anime villian, using overly grandiose language to explain something in paragraphs, when all it neads is a sentence or two.

The level of incompetance shown by a group when they are meant to lose a battle was annoying, and this was frequently exacerbated by the losing group saying something like "what could possible go wrong" beforehand. This most often happened to the human side when fighting the goblins. In once sentence they state that goblins can be a real danger if given the chance to evolve, then proceed to think the goblins are pushovers after learning that they have thousands of evolved goblins. Then there's the goblins who thought that the best way to warn the humans about a larger threat was to attack them.

Overall, most of this story is decent, it just lacks the polish to make it really good.

Thephesis
Overall

A story that is showing improvement

Reviewed at: Chapter 80 - Full Metal Jacket

This isn't a story that "just keeps getting better" this is a story that has very clearly improved in writing quality over time.

My biggest gripe with this story when I first started was the tonal mismatch. Horrible things were happening to the main character, but the writing just felt... casual? It was like the main character was not in a strange new world struggling to eat, bur rather upset because their fridge was empty. It felt wrong and I can happily say it has gotten better. There is less suffering, but the tone is closer to what it feels like it should be. Maybe it could be argued that the reason for the tone is just the main characters psyche and initial shock, but if so it was not conveyed clearly.

Now onto the main characters pysche. Call me a liberal, but another thing that was bugging me (hah) for the longest time is the lack of addressing the characters gender identity. Male reincarnated as a female. The main character is very casual in how they view themself and have others adress them. Mind you that's perfectly fine. I'm super casual about my own gender and I'm sure plenty of others are. I'm a dude theres all there is to it. But my issue lies with how the plot relevant aspect of it comes into play. Their natural instinct throughout the story and more so in recent chapters has been a sort of antagonistic force. Potentially even a seperate entity in subconscious thought. Whenever they are referred to it's a she rather than a he. And it feels like this should have been started sooner in the story. Theres a few points where the main character somewhat jokingly thinks about the topic, and I wish there had been a serious usage of the subconscious she in the humors place. Perhaps it's taken so long due to biological development, or just due to recent plot development and the main characters state of being, but even then I still feel like there would have been some good points to use it earlier on. 

Stepping away from that my only other real criticism is on the characters. Outside of the 3 main perspectives seen thus far the other characters are a bit too flat. They aren't bad and the story could continue as is, but it could be improved in this area.