I don't want to be the Hive Queen

by ValetheHowl

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

Marcus is a young man that had a very bad day at work. 
First, he had a horrible customer during his shift. Then he got fired by his boss. And after that, he got shot to death during a robbery. 
And to top it all of, he awakened with the body of a weak and strange creature in a fantasy world full of deadly monsters. 

And that's just Monday!

Now Marcus will have to find a way to survive as a Vex Queen, but to do so his bravery and determination are not enough. He needs to build a hive that will protect him, as it won't be just monsters that he'll have to face... 


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Wiki (thanks to Yulwei for making it)

Patreon (throw money at the writing monkey to make it write faster)

Discord (drop in to have a chat or ask things about the story!)

The release schedule for this novel should be one chapter per week.


Cover art by Kukuruyo

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ValetheHowl

ValetheHowl

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350 Comments
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Word Count (13)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 0 - Prologue ago
Chapter 1 - Bubble Tea Trouble ago
Chapter 2 - A Mother's Disappointment ago
Chapter 3 - Mission One: Start! ago
Chapter 4 - Oh Deer! ago
Chapter 5 - Snake Eater ago
Chapter 6 - Crab Battle ago
Chapter 7 - Laugh Wolf ago
Chapter 8 - Cave Story ago
Chapter 9 - Bugging me out ago
Chapter 10 - Shedding Worries ago
Chapter 11 - At Turtle's Pace ago
Chapter 12 - Fruits, Bacon and an Egg ago
Chapter 13 - The Puppy ago
Chapter 14 - A Boy and his Dog ago
Chapter 15 - Three's a charm ago
Chapter 16 - Chess and Goblins ago
Chapter 17 - Hello Neighbor ago
Chapter 18 - Night Raid ago
Chapter 19 - Firing my laser ago
Chapter 20 - Better served cold ago
Chapter 21 - Homecoming ago
Chapter 22 - Home Sweet Home ago
Chapter 23 - May I give you a suggestion? ago
Chapter 24 - Don't Shoot the Messenger ago
Chapter 25 - Tremors Underground ago
Chapter 26 - Looming from Above ago
Chapter 27 - Expecting Visitors ago
Chapter 28 - Mutual Flashing ago
Chapter 29 - Rib Caged ago
Chapter 30 - Happy Meal ago
Chapter 31 - No Fighting in the War Room ago
Chapter 32 - Dance Earth Dance ago
Chapter 33 - A Tactical Retreat is not Running Away ago
Chapter 34 - Reasonable Instincts ago
Chapter 35 - Awkward Silence is not Golden ago
Chapter 36 - A Pain in the... ago
Chapter 37 - Questioning Question ago
Chapter 38 - Call on Hold ago
Chapter 39 - I know that you know that I know ago
Chapter 40 - In the Eye of the Beholder ago
Chapter 41 - Eye to Face Conversation ago
Chapter 42 - Scheming Schemers Scheming ago
Chapter 43 - Career Path Picnic ago
Chapter 44 - I want my Broodmommy ago
Chapter 45 - Mistakes have been made ago
Chapter 46 - Talk Magic Talk ago
Chapter 47 - Night Raid ago
Chapter 48 - Armorgeddon ago
Chapter 49 - Are you ready for a war!? ago
Chapter 50 - Saving Private Lycan ago
Chapter 51 - Bamboozled ago
Chapter 52 - Pay the Piper ago
Chapter 53 - Dressing Up ago
Chapter 54 - Boys are Back in Town ago
Chapter 55 - We're out of Coffee ago
Chapter 56 - Test your Might! ago
Chapter 57 - Failed a Diplomacy Check ago
Chapter 58 - The Battle of Brettholz Part 1 ago
Chapter 59 - The Battle of Brettholz part 2 ago
Chapter 60 - The Battle of Brettholz part 3 ago
Chapter 61 - The Battle of Brettholz part 4 ago
Chapter 62 - The Battle of Brettholz part 5 ago
Chapter 63 - The Battle of Brettholz part 6 ago
Chapter 64 - Wine and Whining. ago
Chapter 65 - A Random Encounter ago
Chapter 66 - Extra Thicc ago
Chapter 67 - Panic at the Feast ago
Chapter 68 - Hoggs' School for Gifted Youngsters ago
Chapter 69 - Nice ago
Chapter 70 - Coffee Rush ago
Chapter 71 - The Queen's New Clothes ago
Chapter 72 - Breakfast of the Champions ago
Chapter 73 - Little Shop of Horrors ago
Chapter 74 - A Study in Feeling Blue ago
Chapter 75 - Girl Talk ago
Chapter 76 - Always Expect the Unexpected ago
Chapter 77 - Quarrel in the Quarry ago
Interlude 1 - It's all Ogre Now ago
Interlude 2 - A Spider's Parlor ago
Interlude 3 - Rip and Tears ago
Interlude 4 - Acid Advisors ago
Interlude 5 - Nuke it! ago
Chapter 78 - Hive Sweet Hive ago
Chapter 79 - Be Careful Who You Call Ugly In Middle School ago
Chapter 80 - Full Metal Jacket ago
Chapter 81 - Naked Socializing ago
Chapter 82 - Wakey Wakey ago
Chapter 83 - Hand Holding ago
Chapter 84 - First Contact ago
Chapter 85 - A Beer, a Broad and a Bonfire ago
Chapter 86 - Grating Greetings ago
Chapter 87 - Talking Tactics ago
Chapter 88 - A Trip Down Memory Lane ago
Chapter 89 - The Wild Chase ago
Chapter 90 - Don't look an angry dragon in the mouth ago
Chapter 91 - Hardcore Pawn ago
Chapter 92 - Head Start ago
Chapter 93 - Not Mad, Just Disappointed ago

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Thundamoo
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I absolutely, wholeheartedly, and completely love this story.  I also have a fair chunk of complaints about it.

This is one of my favorite stories on the site and I always look forward to updates.  I recently binged through a heavy chunk of chapters that I hadn't caught up on for a while, and it was immensely enjoyable.  But I am, fundamentally, very biased.  I really love gender bender, I really love isekai, and I really love hive minds... and this is a gender bender isekai about hive minds.  It could be half as good, and I would devour it.  

Thankfully, it happens to be good.  The writer has a solid grasp of grammatical rules and there are no glaring errors anywhere in the story.  But there is a prevailing sense of... I'm not really sure a good way to put it.  Motivational simplicity?  

Characters seem to lack nuance.  They have trait X and therefore perform Y action in situation Z.  It feels like the author comes up with things they want to happen, and then finds a way to use character traits or introduce character traits that make things happen that way.  And yes, that is a perfectly normal and reasonable thing for authors to do... but I, as the reader, shouldn't be feeling like the author is doing that.  I want to feel like the characters are deep, complex, living people.  If I were to give advice to the author regarding this, it would be to stop explaining the play-by-play of each character's logic so often: the "that made sense, so they did this" explanation is much less compelling than just describing how characters feel, how they react, and showing the results of that logic.  Letting us infer the thought process behind it ourselves, don't just list it out unless it's particularly essential to do so.

The next main thing I find disappointing in the story is how the internal conflict of the main character's sex change impacts the narrative: which is to say, not really at all.  This isn't entirely unreasonable: Marcus remarks multiple times that he has far more pressing issues to worry about than his genitals, and he arguably does, having so far been in a constant fight for survival.  But there is downtime, and even when it is brought up directly, it... isn't really.  Marcus's attitude is very "go with the flow" regarding gender, enabling the author to put him in amusing situations where he feels dysphoric but unable to comment or correct others about it.  It's following classic gender bender tropes to a T, which (to genre-savvy readers) makes it seem inevitable that he will one day alter how he identifies to match his body, as such stories usually end up.  There's nothing wrong with that, but it does take the anticipation out of the whole internal conflict thing.  It would be nice to have a more nuanced approach to the idea of gender dysphoria than "haha, boy is in dress" but it is what it is.  I also wish Marcus would have less of a foul mouth when it comes to his newfound biology... he seems quite disrespectful towards himself in ways that would be very worrying in a real person, and I find them painful to read.  That said, I can't deny a propensity for crude language is a well-established trait of his.  

Despite these gripes, I still love this story.  It, as the title says, hits my jam zones, and it hits them hard.  While it could be improved, it is at the end of the day solid story about many things I love mashed together into the most delicious of word soups.  I am overjoyed to have this story in my life, and look forward to more of it!

ronrironin
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I should clarify. There have been a lot of chapters recently going into the human companions the MC has picked up. I think that's fine, break it up every so often, but it has felt like the MC's relation with humans has subsumed - what I expected, anyway - a story about a chimera factory dealing with a hostile fantasy world while coming to terms with female, bug and female bug issues.

/rant

Sorry, I don't want to give the impression I dislike this story. I really do like it, can't wait for the next chapter and I think in a few months this story could really take off. I hope it does. But I fear it could get bogged down before it has a chance to explore this richly built world.

DisillusionedAcronym
Overall

 i think i wanted to like the story more than i actually liked the story? i like both the setting/world creation and the premise. it might not be absolutely "original" but it is novel enough to be worth acne attempt. i even managed to tolerated the extended flip flopped POV. but MC remained consistently whiny and idiotic. (i mean,credit for consistency? i guess?) but, for me, i'd like just a little intelligence from my MC? i mean, i can accept/understand the initial shock. but eventually, i'd like some progress.

 

that said, though, while it isn't for me, i do recommend giving it a whirl. you might not be the cranky and whiny asshole i am and be able to accept MC's faults better. because if you can, i think there's a worthwhile story here.

Thephesis
Overall

A story that is showing improvement

Reviewed at: Chapter 80 - Full Metal Jacket

This isn't a story that "just keeps getting better" this is a story that has very clearly improved in writing quality over time.

My biggest gripe with this story when I first started was the tonal mismatch. Horrible things were happening to the main character, but the writing just felt... casual? It was like the main character was not in a strange new world struggling to eat, bur rather upset because their fridge was empty. It felt wrong and I can happily say it has gotten better. There is less suffering, but the tone is closer to what it feels like it should be. Maybe it could be argued that the reason for the tone is just the main characters psyche and initial shock, but if so it was not conveyed clearly.

Now onto the main characters pysche. Call me a liberal, but another thing that was bugging me (hah) for the longest time is the lack of addressing the characters gender identity. Male reincarnated as a female. The main character is very casual in how they view themself and have others adress them. Mind you that's perfectly fine. I'm super casual about my own gender and I'm sure plenty of others are. I'm a dude theres all there is to it. But my issue lies with how the plot relevant aspect of it comes into play. Their natural instinct throughout the story and more so in recent chapters has been a sort of antagonistic force. Potentially even a seperate entity in subconscious thought. Whenever they are referred to it's a she rather than a he. And it feels like this should have been started sooner in the story. Theres a few points where the main character somewhat jokingly thinks about the topic, and I wish there had been a serious usage of the subconscious she in the humors place. Perhaps it's taken so long due to biological development, or just due to recent plot development and the main characters state of being, but even then I still feel like there would have been some good points to use it earlier on. 

Stepping away from that my only other real criticism is on the characters. Outside of the 3 main perspectives seen thus far the other characters are a bit too flat. They aren't bad and the story could continue as is, but it could be improved in this area.

zmtewe01
Overall

For the most part, I like this story, however there are many little problems that turn this from an enjoyable read to a chore.

I really like the concept of having a zerg-like character, working to build their own hive, and actually having a good relationship with nearby human settlements. It was a joy to see them figure out their abilities, and use them to fight off the goblins.

The main character's way of cursing is my biggest recuring pain. I'm perfectly fine with a character cursing, but every time Marcus curses, which is frequent, he makes up his own curses and they sound stupid (Craptastic hell, diggitly damnity).

There are times where a character's dialogue sounds unrealistic or unnatural. This generally happens when something needs to be explained, like an ability or a plan. They sound like a bad anime villian, using overly grandiose language to explain something in paragraphs, when all it neads is a sentence or two.

The level of incompetance shown by a group when they are meant to lose a battle was annoying, and this was frequently exacerbated by the losing group saying something like "what could possible go wrong" beforehand. This most often happened to the human side when fighting the goblins. In once sentence they state that goblins can be a real danger if given the chance to evolve, then proceed to think the goblins are pushovers after learning that they have thousands of evolved goblins. Then there's the goblins who thought that the best way to warn the humans about a larger threat was to attack them.

Overall, most of this story is decent, it just lacks the polish to make it really good.

ilir
Overall

isekai (read until chapter 43)

Reviewed at: Chapter 53 - Dressing Up
It is terribly depressing that the protagonist is busy almost 90% of the story sinking into self-pity because he cannot accept not being human.

The idea that being human is not important as long as he acts humanistically towards sentient life does not come to him with his limited mind.

The MC emphasizes in the story of himself not to consider himself an idiot, only to then act like one all the time. In short, the MC is a standard isekai which considers itself to be particularly male, which only makes it more strenuous. Apart from that he mostly irrationally bases his actions on negative emotions.

Apparently he has no vigilance towards people either. He should know that humans can be the most mendacious and evil creature of all. When he is spied on in his own house without prior permission, he feels no resentment towards people. When you consider that there are regular violent racist attacks even in our supposed civilized world, I don't want to know how disgusting people would be towards a non-100% human life form. So we can add naivety as a character trait to the MC.


Otherwise I am completely "what me exclamation mark" opinion of the novel is otherwise really great. I can hardly bear the MC but that is probably due to personal preferences on my part. Such a story with an MC who has a strong rational personality would be incredibly great.

It is so sad how much potential is burned here in isekai hell.
 
All my criticisms relate to the fact that I personally don't like the character of the MC. So this is not to be understood as a criticism of the novel itself. Many other readers do not have these MC behavior problems.
 
(Please excuse my bad english)
FallenNorth
Overall

Well the story was good for the first arc but the main character has seen no real growth, development, or meaningful gains since the start of more recent arcs. mostly boring meaningless tripe. this, combined with the slow updates, means that i'm bored of the story and will be dropping it.

Dullahan
Overall

A breath of fresh air

  It's too soon to give a detailed review, but I will state facts about the story with a tittle for each:

-The characters have certain behaviors explained by their past, personalities, and objectives, making them more fleshed out, even a name in the background has rumors about them.

-The story has a fantasy setting with, for now, more races, and animals than elves and dragons.

-The Author tries to make the story consistent, whether by filling plotholes, or by giving more information of the world.

-There has been no system to quantify any kind of skill, making this story stand out among the rest.

PD: If anyone ask what I like about the story, it's having a sci fi alien (zerg, tyranid or xenomorph) in a fantasy world.

Barnbunny
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Has some potential same old reincarnation story with a interesting idea hopefully the author can make the hive queen concept be more then just a sidelined idea the MC has to deal with and more a fouces point that drives the story. We will just have to wait and see where the author gose with it hopefully he expands on the concept and turns it into a good story.

Hyeon
Overall

 i like the concept so far it is something i haven't seen like this before, im interested in seeing more, there is alot of potential :) please keep it up