Danny Styles and the Thunderdome

by DefinitelyAGiraffe

Original ONGOING Adventure Comedy Fantasy Psychological Female Lead Low Fantasy Magic Male Lead Multiple Lead Characters School Life Slice of Life Strong Lead Supernatural Urban Fantasy

Danny Styles was happy in the orphanage, but that changed when he found out about magic. The Thunderdome, an ancient and fearsome battle arena, is about to be ruled once more. Magicians cower in fear as they are randomly selected to battle to the death. To Danny's dismay, he has just been chosen. With a large challenge to rise up to, he has to educate himself in the magical ways quickly. Death is imminent, but it is unclear whose death it will be.



Credit to Katsunai Tse-kyun for editing my cover!

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 - Precognition ago
Chapter 2 - The Aftermath ago
Chapter 3 - Academia ago
Chapter 4 - Villains and Troubles ago
Chapter 5 - Proficiency in Studying ago
Chapter 6 - Friendship ago
Chapter 7 - Almighty Overlord ago
Chapter 8 - Experimental Lab ago
Chapter 9 - The Fallen Hero ago
Chapter 10 - Rise and Vanquish (Part 1) ago
Chapter 11 - Rise and Vanquish (Part 2) ago
Chapter 12 - Rise and Vanquish (Part 3) ago
Chapter 13 - Say Your Goodbyes (Part 1) ago
Chapter 14 - Say Your Goodbyes (Part 2) ago
Chapter 15 - Thunderdome Ascension (Part 1) ago
Chapter 16 - Thunderdome Ascension (Part 2) ago
Chapter 17 - Reborn ago
Chapter 18 - Lightning Conquest ago
Chapter 19 - Fractures in Time ago
Chapter 20 - Into the Unknown ago
Chapter 21 - Vanquish the Beast (Part 1) ago
Chapter 22 - Vanquish the Beast (Part 2) ago
Chapter 23 - Vanquish the Beast (Part 3) ago
Chapter 24- Vanquish the Beast (Part 4) ago
Chapter 25 - Vanquish the Beast (Part 5) ago
Chapter 26 - Truth and Consequences ago
Chapter 27 - Truth and Consequences (Part 2) ago
Chapter 28 - Truth and Consequences (Part 3) ago
Chapter 29 - Truth and Consequences (Part 4) ago
Chapter 30 - Revolution Intrusion ago
Information Chapter ago
Chapter 31 - Revolution Intrusion (Part 2) ago
Chapter 32 - Revolution Intrusion (Part 3) ago
Reviews

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Ani
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A BOY, A SWORD, AND AN ARENA

Ani's Glance Review for 'Danny Styles and the Thunderdome':

 

Style and Grammar:

Grammar is certainly above the average, around the higher-end. Wide word pool, great word choice, and some metaphors here and there. Technically, the author is without a doubt superior to most, including me.

As for style, it's not quite my taste, but I was still able to read it nonetheless. The author liked talking about gritty tiny details, emotions, and small actions. Really vivid and beautiful. Again, it's not my taste, so I didn't like the lack of dialogues in the first chapter.

 

Story and Character:

So we have a death arena, the MC, and his trusty(not) sword. Danny felt human enough, what with his realistic fear, reactions, and mindset.

As for the story, well... I often say stories are too slow for me, but this one takes the cake. The author spent too much time describing things, and I just wanted to know what's going to happen next.

But then again, this is just my bias with slow-paced stories. Anyone who likes slow pacing won't have any problem with the first chapter.

 

That's all for my review. This empress gives you her blessing, Giraffe. Good luck and have fun writing~.

DefinitelyNotElizabeth
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This book is very well written by the author. The story is interesting and actually quite funny as well as most of the characters (especially Danny) being lovable and relatable.

Overall, it's a very good book and I definitely recommend it.

l nimbus
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Reviewed before the rewrite.

Reviewed before the rewrite.


Danny Styles needs work. Lots of it. It has a good concept and setting that holds promise, but is weighed down by a flawed execution. To me, the plot seems to have VERY uneven pacing, silly moments and needs some explaining. It isn't all bad, in fact, there's a good story in there for fans of the sub-genre, it just needs polish.

Okay, it needs plolish and then some, but the point still stands. See as this is getting a full rewite, I'll try to focus less on my usual tlstyle and more on providing you critique to help the rewrite along.

Story:

DS's Story was confusing for me. I had little to no clue as to where the setting took place until it was explained to me. That's usually a big no-no in my book. The idea behind DS seems to be a good one, but your execution was flawed. For instance, pacing. Instead of sticking to one pace, you switched them up in different sections. The leaps from a leisurely roll to blisteringly fast in under two pages breaks suspension of disbelief faster than every character simultaneously shattering the fourth wall.

Style:

Your style isn't anything special, to be honest. If anything, it feels too much at times. I couldn't pin down what it was, but it made reading the first version of DS somewhat of a chore, to be honest.

Grammar:

Mostly good. Except for. a few mistakes here and there, the story's grammar was good. Not great, but good.

Characters:

Like the rest, these need some work. Danny himself inst bad, but I can't picture any of the others in my head. There's also a distinct lack of quirks amongst your chars. Danny himself is a nice char, but has some inconsistencies. He's socially akward, so why would he be spilling his life story to Osho right after meeting him? A question to consider.

Critique:

• Over used metaphors: This is one of my biggest peeves when reading Danny Styles. Metaphors comparing hot sand to 'living hell' are laughable to most people. By making them so far over the top, you detract the seriousness of the comparison, and, instead, throw off the reader. My advice would be to tone these down, a lot. Sure, a good metaphor is nice and all, but going full-out overboard is not. Bigger doesn't always equal better.

• Text blocks: Another thing I couldn't help but notice was that your story's paragraphs would almost always be large blocks of text. There are daunting an ordinary reader's eye, and, if you can, go back and split them up. Some of them, I noticed, took up entire pages on my ebook reader. Def break them up. On RR's interface, those blocks make it hella hard to read.

• Confused a word. This is just a minor point-out, but flaws have nothing to do with making a person less 'special'. Just saying. Flaws make people unique, set them apart from the faceless masses in your story. That's how your characters are special.

• Feeling like a villian: Villians deliberately hurt others. Danny didn't at all. There wasn't any reason for a comparison.

• Thousands of calculations in a second from a young boy? Kinda stretching it there, mate. Really stretching, actually.

• One thing innoted early on is kind of a lack of clarity. I didn't know where the story took place, if it was on normal Earth, an Earth with magic, or a fantasy world. I suggest answering this question very early on, as it gives clarity on this subject. Perhaps throw it in the sypnosis, if you will.

• I've noticed a few times when you correctly used a quatation mark to indicate the start of a verbal dialogue, but then forgot to put some in to end it. Just pointing that out.

• I'd recommend throwing in a little symbol when indicating chapter breaks. It helps, somewhat.

• Your villian dialogue..needs some spicing up. They come off as thugs more than competent villians. Also, in the same instance, 'apprehension' should be 'comprehension'. The goddess's backstory also feels somewhat forced. If they're villians, why would they care about 'good' people were?
Edit: Resolved as I learned more about their characters. Still, bad first impression. '

• Lord's indicates a single person or their possessions and the like. 'Lords' should be used when referring to plural people. Same with God's and Gods.

• Okay, is it just me, or did the secret service really recruit a kid they never saw in under ten seconds to do anspying op for them? Really?

• Again, why is a cult leader telling Danny about top secret, sacred books less than a minute after meeting him?

• Okay, this is just a warning, but if the story has some even MILD LGBT themes, let people know in the sypnosis. This is the kind of stuff that, is it hits out of nowhere, can get people to drop your story and hit you with 0.5 star ratings.


Closing:

Danny Styles and the Thunderdome is a unique story, not doubt about it. But, it needs work done to make it better. With rewrite well underway, that's what's happening. I might come back in the future, once these are all fixed and polish, and enjoy the story.

OrionXV
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It zapped me out of my chair

The book is shockingly good (Well, it has Thunder in its name).

The plot is quite interesting and it seems that the author has worked quite a bit on world building which is truly appreciable. The generous amount of comedy goes well with the theme of adventure and action, surprisingly so. The tone does not change throughout the book which is another thing I like about it.


Our MC - Danny, who is an orphan, seems to be up for a rough ride, but who is going to complain? his parents? Jokes aside, Danny is a loveable character, a perfect teen MC (I am totally rooting for him).

But, while the book certainly packs a punch, it is not without flaws. At times the writing gets a bit stale and difficult to understand.

All in all, it is a great book. 

uncultured
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Different, not always Better

It's a neat story, and I appreciate that it's trying to be different than other stories on RoyalRoad. Unfortunately it's also one of the most uneven stories I've read. The description is either quite nice or overdone to the point of tedium, the plot is intriguing but doesn't always make sense. If you want something unique and don't mind overlooking a few flaws I'd say give it a shot.

Thomas Loud
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I Really Like This, But It Isn't at It's Fullest

Since this review is only made with knowledge up to chapter 4 it is probably very limited in scope and might even be pointing out have been improved upon as the story. 

I find Danny Styles to be pretty charming as a story, even if one thing really drags it down in my eyes.

Let's start with the biggest con: Style.
I have a very hard time actually sitting through and reading the chapters in their entirety because the style of the story makes me constantly pause and just reread. It has a sorta sporadic thoughts feel to it, where one thing will clearly be happening but then something about how Danny feels or a new observation is made that cuts off the previous part. I think that this really hampers the flow of the story hence my earlier statements about having to constantly reread what I'm looking at. However, I also find the style endearing, since it really reflects the character of Danny and how he seems to think and operate.

Grammar works pretty well with a few issues here and there that don't detract too heavily from the story.

The story itself, even with what little I've seen is very interesting. The synopsis informs you of what's going to happen pretty well, with the first four chapters really just being setup for the rest of the plot. And it is within these four chapters that we get familiar with Danny, as he starts his day with a terrifying dream that ends with him dead. From there, Danny tries to figure some stuff out about himself, reads a strange book that showed up out of nowhere, looks into gene splicing, has a therapy session, and gets kidnapped by a wizard. Even with my issues in the style, I can't help but just enjoy and find everything going on a bit a wacky. The characters can come off as corny and awkward and wierd with their dialogue at times, and some things that happen just make me laugh. My biggest issue with the story just has to be how information is handed out to the readers though. Many things lack an organic showing and are instead outright told, which feels a bit hand holdy at times.

When it comes to characters, I really like those that have been shown but my primary focus in this review will be on Danny. 
He's a kid with severe mental baggage and lack of confidence, and this really endears me to the character and makes me feel for the little guy. I kinda just wanna give him a hug. He struggles to interact with people and hates that he does. He is very critical of himself, which leads to quite a few self-deprecating moments that can make you laugh or cringe for the kid. On the note of other charcters, I've seen so little of them all at this point that I'm not 100% in when I say this, but they're a likable and interesting bunch in my eyes, especially the wizards.

When it comes to DSATT, I think it really suffers from poor showing of what it is. But it's partly thanks to this showing, that I find myself just so interested in and intrigued and wanting to read more even when I force myself to stop.

I'll most probably redo this once I've seen the rewrite, but as for now I give it 3.5 stars for my review.

 

boi the king
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I like the flow of the story,Grammar is better than my so it should be above average

One mc danny is relateble to me in character so I quite like it, there some place the author put filler to get more word count like the poem but a good read 

The idea of the stroy is quite unique 

 

The Juggernaut
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Danny Styles and the Thunderdome ~

Chapter 16 ~

Overview ~

In general, the story plot kept me entertained with a constant promise for more action and drama. Though their are things that detract from the experience.  With what will be stated down below, this is miles ahead of a lot of stories on RR.

Style ~ 

The author has a solid style that doesn't really stand out nor does it break the readers immersion. The only issue I would have (debatable) is the overuse of flowery dialogue tags. Instead of 'Danny said', the author would constantly use other words which stand out when written. 

Story Score ~

I enjoyed the plot, and how everything interconnects. The author dedicated time to making ssure he had that nailed down, the only issue I would have is sometimes the story would ramble on instead of moving to the next point.

 

Grammar ~ 

There were no issues here based on my opinion (not a grammar nazi so i cant find every missed dot). The author did well on his rewrite from what I could tell. Nothing was obvious, and no typos were caught by my eyes.

 

Character ~ 

This is where i have the largest issue. Dialogues between the characters all sound like teenagers even the old orphanage caretaker. Some discussions were unrealistic.

The upside is that, the author made sure to differentiate between the personalities. Even the "good guys" have faults that make them questionable at best.