Original ONGOING Action Sci-fi LitRPG Male Lead Virtual Reality

After recovering from an explosion that shook several blocks of his city, Police Officer Robert Kipp found himself paralyzed and stuck behind a desk. Even though he'd been recognized as a hero for rescuing and evacuating numerous families, he really didn't feel like one. An unexpected birthday gift from his son, ends up being the newest technology in Full Immersion Virtual Reality gaming, which allows him to log into Hero City, and use his legs! Here he can learn to be a true hero! But with this being his very first online video game, will he be able to adapt and stop the villains from controlling the city?

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  • Ratings :
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  • Pages :
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tarakis
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I just started reading this and am liking it alot so far. Good Characters so far, nice build up towards progression. Speel and grammar are well done. I am looking forward to more of this story and see how Bob/ Titan gets along in the virtual and real world.

 

:D CHEERS (c)

OscarSilvv21
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I am extremely interested to see where this can go. looking forward to it!!

Keep it up!

Stomachfood
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A good story requires characters that consistently act in certain ways to keep the story flowing and continuous there are some exceptions. Yours does not nor is it one of those exceptions. Tha main character Bob is probably the most straight forward and detailed character you have but I would describe him as flat. We don’t know what he looks like or his age. We know some basic background info about his family and career but there was very little detail inserted. He starts off seeming depressed but recovers emotionally unnaturally quickly especially after a seemingly recent accident that changes his life in major ways. All his emotions seem short lived and mostly ignored. Starlight is probably the character with the most consistency issues. He starts off as what seems like an experienced video game player but is constantly astonished by things that are fairly common in advanced games like learning skills through actions or randomly generated quest lines or even affinity menus. Starlight should have already known much of this stuff since he participated in the beta. The relationships between characters also change fairly often. The first encounter between Bob and Starlight gives the impression of an older mentor teaching an ignorant student with Starlight as the mentor and Bob as the student. But in later chapters Bob is leading and taking charge of everything despite the fact that Starlight is more experienced in video games and has been playing since the beta. Bob does likely have more experience in confrontational matters but we don’t really know because of how much the other characters lack definition and life. Overall I’d say that this is worth a read if you’re bored and need something to do but, it needs a lot of work to be fully fleshed out. I hope this helps and I don’t mean it to be insulting if I come across that way thanks for the read.