Enchanting

by Timeam

Original ONGOING Adventure Fantasy Female Lead LitRPG Magic
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Traumatising content

The walls between worlds have been slowly falling for some time as creatures of inconceivable power war across dimensions, fighting for the resources that power them.


For inhabitants of these worlds the war has passed mostly unnoticed so far, but times changeā€¦
Ewynne is a young woman with a strange heritage, fighting her way out of impoverished beginnings and trying to find a new place in a less than kind world.


A LitRPG story.

Cover art by Jannie.

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Mashimo
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Experience adventure, wonder, pain, danger  and the uncertainty of life in a world where magic is real. Where you have to make decisions pertaining life and death, not just for you but also for others. You will have a lot of questions and no easy answers just like the main character.

The way the writer has written the story makes you feel like you are part of what Ewynne is experiencing and the choices she is making.

I really like how this has been achieved and the playing with assumptions, and I hope the writer continues to surprise us.

Nasorren
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Writing makes it Unique

Although the story is pretty generic, it's the writing that makes it brilliant. 

The MC has to fo through aversaries and gets a class other than what she was hoping for and still works around it

 Great start, I hope this novel gets more known and that you don't drop it midway

 

Hellatron
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Cheers to meta-tickling storytelling

A bold take on self awareness which mixes the descriptive details of world building and classical role playing story structure(as far as I've come to read) with subtle refined human conversation while poking fun at the core of gaming/RPing applications of morals and ethics alike.

With this thoroughly entertaining read, I am waiting with bated breath!

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

LittleAnna
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Immensely annoying and intriguing

This story has really caught my interest, and I keep longing for new chapters to be published, especially as most chapters seems to end with some kind of cliff hanger.

I really like the way that the pace changes throughout the story, and that each chapter carries the plot forwards, in a, to us as readers, sometimes a quite unknown and surprising way. Many times I have been fooled by pre-assumptions that turned out to be all the part of the author’s scheme.

To begin with I wasn’t so sure what to think about the MC, Ewynne, and her ways of making choice, but as the story unfolds and we’re slowly given more pieces of this puzzle I’m quite starting to like and admire her.

The language is beautiful and descriptive, and has a wonderful rhythm. (and yes, I’m learning some new words as I go along)

Hang in there, I will surely follow this story til’ the end! 

domestos
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Looking for something different?

Read this story then.

A decent read with well put together chapters.

The mc is not overpowered, though unique, leads the reader through the story at a decent pace.

The choices made by the mc leave you the reader questioning whether they are the correct ones (yet to find out) and leaves a bit of intrigue and future threads to be resolved.

Keeps me waiting for future releases. And the hope that the future chapters will be as good as the ones released sofar

 

Jaksterzoo
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Fell short, could be better (@ chap 19)

Edit: (most up to date) chapter 28: I dropped this. Why? Because the 'paranoid' MC is litterally ignoring a ton of 'manipulation' and a ton of stuff is foreshadowig but makes 0 sense. It's not even building any excitement, just PLAIN annoying. I can very clearly say I dislike this novel now, tried to hang with it hoping it would change for the better. For 9 chapters. Hope it improves, but I'm done with this, I might come back and change my review IF the story starts making sense, or actually has the character (especially MC) follow their personality and act like everyone's 'out to kill her by offering her good housing, income, and connections', then acts 'oh, this is conviently set up and super suspicious, but hey, perks!' She is paranoid and not trying to go with it one moment, and then does the total opposite. It feels like the author, again, tried throwing more plot and foreshadowing to build up for the big event that is undoubtedly happening. The result is, so far, making it confusing to understand how the world works or anything about the story in particular. Annoying to me because it doesn't feel like I'm reading a story, but a lot of ideas that have no connection or power behind it.

Hope the author fixes the story, or somehow have everything make sense in some fashion...  Personally, it felt like the story picked up too fast with little to no explamation on how the world operates. 

I might come back to read after another 20 chapters and review it again, or once it finishes. Right now, it's just frustrating to even read...

Edit: (Chapter 23) Also, the story is confusing and has little/no direction. Any plot that MAY have been there disappeared at chapter 20.

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Okay... I sort of dislike this novel but can't remember exact reasons per-say. (I liked this novel, but some major flaws...) 

Now, the character development is okay but is all over the place. At first, she misses her mom and wants to keep her books (instead of selling them) to keep the memory of her mom. A few chapters later, we get the obvious sense that she did not like her mom, and didn't mind seeing her pass away. ...? Even if you're going for the 'I hate my mom teaching me, but understand' vibe, it wasn't portrayed to the readers well enough (or at least in my opinion.) I first thought of it as 'her mom died, and she wishes she was there' to 'okay, now she hated her mom or disliked her enough that she didn't mind her death.' The feeling she has with her mother either needs to be explained better, or connected. It feels like you're trying to hint at their relationship but it is ruined by the lack of information. It just feels dull and confusing. That brings me to my second problem. 

The novel IS focused on our MC, but the interactions are... Dull. Not dull as in 'oh, boring' or 'oh, that happened.' It's like 'okay, so this person knows something and is slightly greedy, and now he's gone for 10+ chapters.' That's okay, but EVERY character is like that, minois the main character. (Yes, even Zachary. It wasn't even said if one of the chapters, that was related to a 'dweller' was even about him. Even more, he is just 'tricky' and wants to kill her.) I don't exactly know how to fix this, but it's just what it feels to me. No depth in the characters. All nice small connections and cool things happening, but I don't feel like anything is reall y connected to each other. It may improve or connect in later chapters, but it doesn't look like most details will connect. That is bringing me to my last complaint... 

When you described the 'stats' when she was discussing with the demon, I felt just confused. I know how stats work, but I was just totally turned off when they were talking. Like, compleatly. Not only that, but you are rating the stats WAY too differently. Intelligence should not make you paranoid, isn't that 'a perspective thing' from wisdom? She feels like she is always second guessing things from her nature of being smarter, but if she has that 'small' amount of stats, (level 15 is low, no matter how you look at it, especially when her stats are actually balanced,) she should not be as paranoid as she is in EVERYTHING she does. Sure, smart is okay, but downright second guessing yourself? It got repetitive REALLY quick. Felt like I didn't get any 'suspense' and she already knew more than 'a person without any information about this subject' should be. I just dislike how her character is always suspicious of the things she doesn't know, but  just 'trusts' other actions that she does completely. Example: suspicious of Zachary, of the guard, of the mysterious figure while deciding stats. Now, the times she was NOT suspicious where I feel, if I were in her shoes I would be suspicious, would be: Example: the 'priest' through down an item in between them. When the horses (5 men) were patrolling a field. (If she stayed in character, because she is WEAKENED, she would have tried to go around them.) Suspicious when she was judged to work labor for little reason (She just got sent to labor and had a 'oh, why isn't their any trial? That's weird, whereas with the strange creature she went super deep into double guessing herself.) 

Those are just a few examples that I highly disliked and why the story just isn't making sense. The character acts differently in almost any situation where she obviously shouldn't act a certain way. She is suppose to be smart, but her character it always doing the 'smart thing when needed' with little to no suspicion, while the 'dumb thing with no consequence whatsoever' when there is obviously something else happening behind the scenes. She also jumps to action at one time, and doesn't do a thing a different time. 

I can go on a few more details, and keep rambling, but if you want to hear more about that just PM me. 

I gave it a two overall because I felt the story wasn't really their, (it was, but it felt like a lot of separate pieces that didn't have an overall meaning, and she has no real objective besides 'survive' even though she is educated. Also, for (three years I think?) she didn't mention any of her history. Ex: did she try to get a job before? Is that area easier to rob? Etc. Something to show her experience in this area for THREE YEARS!!! 

Character development on MC is fine, but any other character seems to either be jacked on emotions all the time, or just 'there.' It's too fleeting with any interaction, and I can't exactly remember what I remember for 19 chapters besides her gaining/losing stats and deciding them, meeting a thug/killing one, and going into a strong fortress, (from my understanding) where she escaped into a portal. Where she then went into an area that a cult or something (prob government from what I see, or a suspicious organization) is easing evil beings. Only other perso we met was Zachary, who was only given one chapter about himself (why only one chapter?! Wanted more information on him) and the information was scattered so much that anything I learned felt like it was just 'given'. Again, PM for more reason. 

The grammar was the saving grace, easy to read for me and no noticeable mess-ups besides one or two advanced words being used incorrectly. Still a few mistakes, but not that many. I did like how you tried to fashion the story, and the style of writing was easy to read but standard. The story was nice, (the idea) but was ruined due to the MC having differing reactions to every situation. It's nice to have them do the unexpected or to question some things, but if they don't question something they obviously should, (from past experience) multiple times, and never get a punishment, isn't that weird? Just saying.

I gave this story a two for now, (chapter 18) because it just feels way too discombobulated as a whole. I may be a little harsh so please don't take the score to heart and PM for any questions. I will probably change the score (for better or worse) as the story progresses. Keep up the writing, it's up to you to either change the story a bit or not. 

I would recommend this story for a brief read, but not something that I felt was really well done overall. Good sketch of events, idea, and main character, just not filled out and the execution fell short. I still think this is worth a read and hope you continue to write!

Edit: Change in story and different perspective made me decide to move the score from a 2>3.

 

Ringostrauss
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Interested to see how this develops

I don't usually read stories before they have 20 chapters as too many die before then. I'm sincerely hoping this one doesn't.  It is almost mysterious in its presentation of information. I couldn't decide whether I would like it but as I've now blazed through seven chapters the answer is I do.

It is well written, presents everything from the point of view of the main character and isn't derivative.  I hope the author enjoys writing it, and we get to see more of this world unfold.  

hsteinvall
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Only two chapters out so far, but you should give this a try.

The story seems interesting, even though it's the standard "MC gets rare class by system".

I found no faults with spelling or punctuation, and the text had a good flow to it. Also, as of yet there are no immersion braking info dumps.

I hit "follow" after the first chapter, you should too!

Xanitos
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Hella good need more ASAP

Honestly one of my favorite stories on royalroad - it's not long yet, but it's well written, it's got potential and so far a great world! MC is clever and I love her boss-ass-attitude! The only thing missing is MORE PLEASE GIMME MORE!! <3

E. Linus
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I really like the way you write and the story is intriguing! I can't wait for the next chapter, especially a one with Eric... he is... an interesting one. ^^

I get suprised by the story and the choices the charaters are making and I really love it! 

Thank you! 

Spoiler: Spoiler