Digital Sorcery (A LITRPG Adventure Series)

by 2manyelvendiseases

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy GameLit LitRPG Magic Male Lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Slice of Life Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

New Chapters Release Weekly on Saturday at 2:00 P.M. Eastern.    

Book #1 is published on Amazon!

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Book #2 is published on Amazon!

Get it Here

For news and subscribing to the newsletter, please check out my site: http://davidmzahn.com/

 

Dive in to the Comedy LitRPG series for terrible people!

Old and dying, Ryland is ready to start a new life in game so naturally he studies night and day for his new life. He’ll exploit every weakness, get all the legendary loot, and rise to be the most powerful being in all of Alderoth. Just kidding! He’s not even going to read the instruction manual before jumping in and bumbling around.

He’ll be joined by a racist NPC, a black man from Mississippi, and the world’s biggest online troll. With such an exceptional group of people and a level of competence to match what could possibly go wrong?

Yep he’s probably getting fish herpes…

Note: The author takes no responsibility if you get in trouble for laughing yourself stupid. 

 

I'm always happy to receive feedback.  Thank You all for reading my work and supporting this story!

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2manyelvendiseases

2manyelvendiseases

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Keifru
  • Overall Score

Elder Is Not A Good Character

To be honest, Elder single-handedly brings down the entire story. Her existence seems to be 'cause everyone problems being juvenile and YOLO' and, considering the existential sanity issues that are well known and are explicitly explained to the MC, infact, she's the one who explains them to him, continues...basically everything she does. Frankly, the best thing she's done is make me incredibly sympathetic for poor Elaria who gets completely fucked over because of the stupid shit Elder pulls and then laughs it off and waltzes on

Aadarm
  • Overall Score

Ruined by a single character

This could be a fun and good story if not for Eldertits, a 30 some year old who acts like a hyper 12 year old with ADHD. She knows this is all of their lives now and repeatedly causes them trouble that makes everything more difficult, could cost them their sanity, and makes everyone miserable just so she can laugh and make more "hurr durr tits!" jokes. 

gnarlytreeman
  • Overall Score

I read a little bit of it and the story is just bland. The mc acts kinda dumb even though hes older. The writer clearly has no idea that old people generally are smart about decisions, and a lot more worldwise.

Beyogi
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  • Character Score

Overall this is an interesting take on a litrpg. It's not a ROB putting the protagonist into a fantasy world with a system, it's also not some dude sitting in a VR box and forgetting about RL.

Actually being an upload this story avoids both the sillyness of system-fantasy and the plotholes Nolifedom VR. The character system is pretty standard. The protagonist has skillpoints and attribute points. Unlike most MMORPGs the player can distribute their statpoints themselves. Skills can be earned by either doing this frequently enough or by investing skillpoints. This seems a problematic decision from a game design point of view if skill gain isn't linear but later levels get harder. In that case the best decision would be to save points.

On the other hand if natural skill gain is an NPC / upload only ability it might turn pretty OP later on. It could also be nice if someone misskilled at some point so they're not stuck that way.

The world is run by a main AI and several sub-AIs that control the NPCs. Like players NPCs can't die, but for some weird reason the upload players are punished for dieing, while the NPCs are not. Overall this has the nice effect of making NPCs feel like dedicated RPers.

The story starts with the NPC being dumped into an elven start area and elves are racist as fuck. And force him on a quest on pain of being declared enemy of their state. It seems a pretty contrieved plot device. Enemies appear, but as the quest progresses the players make their own trouble: the second book beginning with the fuckup of a party member. Still an overaching plot seems to be missing. In a way it's a nice difference that there doesn't seem to be some huge conspiracy going on, on the other hand a driving element is missing. They're going on quests, but the book lacks the Quest.

The party members are the formerly geriatric MC, who's got no clue about the game and an unclear amout of idea about gaming MMORPGs in general. He comes off both wise and juvenile on ocassion and I'm not sure to what degree this is intended.

There's the racist NPC Elven Ranger. Elaria She's actually a pretty decent person, but she's racist as fuck.

There's Eldertits the elven player barbarian. She's the joker and troublemaker of the team and also an upload. She's really playing up the sexy troll to the point I think she was actually a guy with a gender bender fetish before uploading herself.

And there's the brown (Elaria: Humans aren't black. That's the evil ones) human player rogue. I've acutally forgotten his name already. He's doing his part, but he seems pretty generic in a way. He should probably get some more focus to develop as a character.

The non party characters have developed characters and motivations and thus fill out the world well. I'm rather unsure about the motivation of some of the player antagonists though. They went out of their way to persecute the party which seems rather weird for people who're not uploads. They'd need to sleep and log off and have a RL.

Overall a very captivating story. Likeable characters (even if Eldertits may be a bit dubious) a great world. Great for people who like LitRPGs, but lacking a greater plot it may be difficult for other readers to get into.

Srayan
  • Overall Score

Good lit, awful math in rpg system.

 

the basic story is good, based on an emerging trope of full mental digitization as part of a real world escape from death/ euthanasia system. The MC starts as a n00b in the game but will be able to eternally respawn. He enters as a physically younger version of himself. 

There is a fairly typical game setup but the maths of the rpglit system are currently totally broken (in a bad way). I think the story has been written by someone who is a good fiction writer but doesn’t really understand serious 1337 gaming - and it shows. This guy is spending his life in here, so “casual” ain’t gonna cut it. He gotta be 1337 - but he’s so n00b he doesn’t RTFM never mind gamer sites before improsoning himself in game. Tricky situation there.

BIG PROBLEM = quest system is tricky. If real games worked like this giving a quest would be a hostile act and no one would do quests. The quest maths is that bad. I have asked the author to either fix this aspect or make it a non-maths system as the basic story is ok but as a keen gamer and rpg lit reader I expect the gamer systems to “make sense”. 

there are other minor problems - the MC decides to spend the rest of his possibly eternal life in the digital realm but doesn’t read up anything about it beforehand. No reading - so he really does start as a n00b. I mean if you were emigrating to another country you would read up about it first, but nope our 91 year old MC with lots of life experience doesn’t do that. I think that’s a bit implausible but I guess it’s just a problem with the MC, maybe he’s stupid, although he otherwise doesn’t seem stupid. So this could just be considered an MC personality trait.

The other thing that sound stupid is that - even though he knows he is a respawner, and that he could be captured and enslaved, he hasn’t sorted out a safe respawn point. In fact there is no mention of control of respawn points at all. Although he has respawnEd once it is not clear how the game controls the location. Obviously he wouldn’t pick the host city due to the awful quest penalty mean he would enter an eternal kill cycle if he spawned there after failure. These are major “gAmelit” issues that should be clarified as they have implications for best options in combat (e.g. makes more sense to suicide and respawn free rather than be captured by slavers but no one did it)