Tales Of The Dark Mage: New Moon

by Dee Williams

Original ONGOING Action Fantasy Romance Tragedy Anti-Hero Lead Low Fantasy Magic Male Lead Martial Arts School Life Slice of Life Sports Strategy Supernatural Villainous Lead War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

A five-year-old boy named Sora came from a powerful mage family. The boy had so much mana for his age and loved by his family. But sadly Sora's father was killed in a duel. His mother was forced to work around the world in order to keep the chaos in the world in check from evil mages organizations.
After a year Sora's oldest brother was invited to the best mage school in the world called Rowan Academy. Then his sisters went to the same school after three months. Sora's other brother was killed by the same person that killed his father. Sora had nobody to look after him. So Sora's mother made arrangements. So Sora can stay with one of the seven royal mage families. Sora quickly made friends with the only child of the royal family named Sophia. Sophia has a goal to be the goddess of all magic. Sora promised Sophia that he would be her bodyguard and her right hand. After two years. They get their grimoires and they trained non-stop every day. Sora keeps reminding Sophia of her dream and vice-versa. After five years past. Sora and Sophia go to the entrance exams for Rowan Academy. They go through trials for seven days.

 

*Author note

I'm about to change chapters 1-10 since I didn't flesh out the mc enough or didn't give the proper backstory.

So no daily chapters until May 22nd, 2019. So there will be at least one chapter per week.

Be ready for the first volume. Coming out in sometime in late May. 

*Author Note This fiction is a participant of the WriTEr's pledge.

https://i.imgur.com/YKWcrl3.jpg

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
(Revised) Chapter 1 Sophia and Sora ago
Chapter 2 I love teasing Sophia ago
Chapter 3 I have to protect Sophia no matter the cost! ago
Chapter 4 We made it to Rowan Academy! ago
Chapter 5 We made it to the first day of exams and we explored the campus! ago
(Revised) Chapter 6. Sophia and I talk about our past. ago
Chapter 7 I and Sophia are meeting with one of the 32 mage clubs (Revised) ago
Chapter 8 I'm Cooking Sophia Breakfast! ago
Chapter 9 Second day of the exams! ago
Chapter 10 Twilight Tigers New Headquarters ago
Chapter 11 The first meeting with all the members of the Twilight Tigers ago
Chapter 12 Sophia and I see an therapist! ago
Chapter 12.5 I'm not liking this Doctor! ago
Chapter 13 Ever lurking danger and Something big is happening in the future! ago
Chapter 14 I have to fight to save Sophia!!! ago
Chapter 15 This Power Feels So Evil! ago
Chapter 16 Mixed Emotions ago
Chapter 17 We've Finally Meet Again, My Siblings! ago
Chapter 18 I have an Ocular power!? ago
Chapter 19 Valencia's true motive. ago
Chapter 20 Setting the meeting with the Queen Of The Devils. ago
Chapter 21 Sophia's is a mad woman! ago
Chapter 22 I have to leave Sophia by herself! ago
Chapter 23 Laughing Mama Journey! ago
Chapter 24 Valdis VS Sora ago
Chapter 24.5 The young evil powerful mage named Zea! ago
Chapter 25 I have a daughter!? ago
Chapter 26 The Universe! ago
Chapter 27 Sora Vs India ago
Chapter 28 Sora Vs India Part 2 ago
Chapter 29 Sophia's Heartbreak ago
Chapter 30 Temptation ago
Chapter 31 Sora's Childhood Saga Part 1: The Daily Life Of The Hestia Household ago
Chapter 32 Sora's Childhood Saga Part 2: The Daily Life Of The Hestia Household ago
Chapter 33 Sora's Childhood Saga Part 3: The Fun Times With Family ago
Chapter 34 Sora's Childhood Saga Part IV ago
Chapter 35 Sora's Childhood Saga Part V ago
Chapter 35.5 What's Everyone Been Up Too! ago
Reviews

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Luffy Monkey
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A Must Read. Anime Story.

Let me address some things before I get to the review. @MURPHYYSLAW'S review is invalid. He only read 12 chapters. The grammar is not horrible. If you kept on reading it. He said that his editors are busy. And this is the rough draft. So, the grammar may be off time to time. Everything will be fixed in the first volume. He's getting published in a week or so. Your review has no purpose. It's not constructive criticism. You are making fun of the author for no reason.

If you wanted to say it then private message him or leave comments on chapters so he can fix it. You are not telling him where are the problems at. Next time you do a review for this. Make sure you are not being rude. You can state the bad things and tell him where to improve on. Tell him what chapters can be fixed. I'm asking you this. Please read all of the chapters. If you read two more chapters. Your review would've been different. 

Sorry, I get upset when people be rude to authors in their reviews. I admit this. He said, " I would suggest giving yourself an off day once a week and just edit next week's chapters."  If you giving a not so good review please read of the story then give your judgment and advice to any person.  Now to the review!

The story is anime. All of the characters act like anime characters. The romance for this story is kinda funny and also sweet for these love birds. Our main protagonist doesn't fall to a cliche MC. He's his own person.  He talks back to the tsundere of the story and doesn't fall for her lies. He's is so alpha male. The first ten chapters have tons of romance with a sprinkle of action.  If you don't like romance only action. Keep reading when you read chapters 14 and 15. And hopefully, chapter 24 and 25. If you like a story that the MC has a demon or whatever. This is the one you've been looking for.  I won't say much. But the spirit is so funny to me. The MC can't rely on the spirit. It's literally like dealing with the devil.

Our main casts of characters are cliche dodges. They are kinda unique and they feel almost real. But the real star of them is our emo character named Valdis. He is the most unique emo character I ever read about. He is just cool dude.

Please read this. Read until chapter fifty. If you still don't like it then something is wrong with your taste. Is this going to be number one on RR? No, but it can reach the top 100, one day. The reason it can't be number one is that our author is not ready. He's a rookie writer. Maybe two years time. He can be on the top. But I highly doubt it. This is not hating or anything. I'm just being realistic. But I hope he can prove me wrong. I've been reading his stuff for like seven months now. Including his first light novel Legend Of Michael.

The only thing he needs to work on is his grammar. But I can tell when he's trying to rush a chapter out. That's why their are errors in some chapters. So, do beware of that. I have been following you for a long time. So do not give me crap give me your best for this story. And post some chapters for Legend Of Michael, please! You've improved quite a lot since those times.

Overall this story is 8.5 out of ten for right now. When the story has progressed a lot I'll do another review and give more detailed one. 

Salena Smith
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This is not my full review. If you want to read a story that is entertaining then this is the story to read. Is it special? No. Is it anime? Heck yes! Is the story good? Good but nothing groundbreaking that will get everybody to read it. If you pass this story, you have nothing to lose. Those who are kinda hesitant on reading this. Just let the whole story finish and just follow the story or save it to read it later. The author told me that this series will be a trilogy. Then a prequel than a spin-off. So this will be here for a while. If you haven't seen his announcement on publishing his first volume soon. That means that this story has to be somewhat good to read.

The writing. He's fixing it. Will his grammar will be perfect? No, but I say this, it is readable.

Ms.Queen
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Juicy Story Telling & Good Characters

I thought this story honestly is going to be boring. But I was very wrong. A friend showed me this. I was bored at the time so I decided to read it. The first chapter was good. Then the second chapter. Had dramatic turn, I didn't expect the romance to be that good and let alone funny. Then I read the third. fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelveth, thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteen. I couldn't stop reading. If you read the whole story and you catch up. You wish you could start over. I love the character's interaction. One of my favorites is Valdis. Because when he introduces himself, he caught my attention. His summary of his backstory seems to be very good. Please don't mess it up!  The first action fight scene. I will admit. I thought he was going to mess up the fight scene. Because everything was going so well. I read tons of stories. But when an author messes it up. Because of the lack of experience. He made a good fight scene and he added a cool transformation scene. Those who want to read it's in chapter 14. The transformation itself was so interesting. And it reveals something that expanded the world building by a lot.  If you still reading this review please binge-read it right now. I know it won't be the number one story. But it's a good story. From a young author. He still needs help so everybody give him advice. Oh, I forgot about Valencia and Nyomi. The mystery behind them is so interesting. Please read it and leave a theory. Because I'm trying to find out who is Nyomi to Sora! Go read now!

PirateQueen
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Before I get through this review. Let me say this. @Cookiepro and @MURPHYSLAW, are terrible reviewers. At least @MURPHYSLAW had the right idea for his review, he did not do an advanced review. But the review itself, let me be frank, was not good because he put his own feelings into his review. When you do an objective review, you don't say that your two-year-old neighbor is a better author or whatever. You point things out. Give the author what should he fix, because he's not the same author back then. He's a better author than that. The revised version of chapter one is just a patch job to fix the disjointed flow of the first chapter. That is not the final draft. I'm not going to say that they didn't have a point. But do they realize that this story for RR? Is a rough draft. He's looking at the responses to see if anything is wrong with the story, story-wise. He has three editors right now. They are trying to make the final draft perfect for volume one perfect. He's trying to try different styles of writing. The one he likes the most is in the current chapters. He's will change everything but it takes time. Since he does daily.


Even though I know the author, I will tell the truth about this. Since I'm done with that now, we can get to the review.



Chapter one, not the greatest start. Story-wise is good but it's kinda too much for the reader. Writing-wise, not his best work but you can follow it. Do not get annoyed with the not so good early writing since our new and young author. Just started writing without nobodies help. Nobody to teach our young author, you can't send a baby to the battlefield.

Chapter two. The same issues for writing. Story-wise, that chapters romance can be called good.


The writing problem starts at chapter through chapter nine. Then Chapter ten fixes this problem. Ending the streak. Is not about how you start it's about how you finish.


Now let me get to another problem with this. The story here. Has been so good. in the first ten chapters. But if you like action, you kinda have to suffer before you get to the good action scene. When you hit chapter fourteen, the action is going to remind of an anime that shall be Hunter X Hunter a certain character will have a transformation.

Chapters 11-25. Has this range for the chapters, like kinda good to very good. If you read all of the reviews. you're getting two people that didn't read all of the chapters. Because of the mistakes in grammar. When a person is not trying to read all of the chapters and addresses the good and the bad. You can't give all bad in a review you must address the good. And it goes the same way.

Let me list the pros and cons to this story and I'll let you decide should read the story or not. Let's go with the cons first.

1. He's a newbie without a master when he started.

2. There are grammars errors. And writing miscues.  And character descriptions.

3. Long chapters to short chapters to more short chapters than one decent size chapter.

That's all of the cons. Now let's get to the pros.

1. Kinda funny. Because of the tsundere troupe. (Sophia)

2. When I first read all the reviews that were saying this is anime. I thought they were exaggerating. But all of them were telling the truth. It is really like an anime. The author did a good job on that.

3. The references to other anime and games. This light novel has tons of them,  you probably heard of each anime.

4. The characters, once you know the characters. Then you find it worth it for reading all of the chapters. They are the backbone.

5. The mystery. The mystery of Nyomi, she's been talked about. What's her relationship to our MC, but no one is able to guess it, no even I could guess.

6. The world building. None of its world-building came in yet. Because we're at an early stage of the story. But there are hints to it.

7. The potential. I honestly think this will be a story that won't be number 1 or top 100. I put this at the top 1000 at best. But here's the thing. That doesn't mean it's not that good or anything. It can be very good.

8. The futures of these characters. Everyone can't succeed in life. But they can make some noise in the world.

9. It's not trash.

10. It's getting its first volume published. That means that the story caught somebody eye. To give him a chance.

Overall the story is a good 8.9 out of ten

The writing is a 5.0 out of ten. At least you can read it.






Mr.Nara
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Fresh, Unique, Anime Story

Let me say this. When I first read this story. I thought it was just going to be another dark story for no reason. But the story is light-hearted and it has its dark moments. The romance is not a slow-burn! If I had a nickel for every time, someone, use will they won't they romance sub/plot. If would be rich as Bill Gates.

The characters feel fresh. The only troupe for a character is Sophia. She became unique in a way. She's funny how she reacts to Sora. And here's another funny thing she can't use her native accent (British) when she's talking to Sora. Or say his name. That's funny to me for some reason.

The writing is solid and the action is good. It just first-person story that has some fun.

I like the Mystery of Nyomi and Valencia. It will keep you guessing. I won't say my theory but I will leave in the comment section where it belongs. And I also like Rin. She's one of the most interesting characters in the story. Because she has so much potential. I want to her backstory. Normally, I let the author know before I'll do the review but I decided to do this when I felt like it. The pacing is good. 

I have so many questions for this story. But you are on the fence on reading this. Read it all the way. I promise you this. You will be entertained. And Those who stopped reading it. Pick it back up. And catch up with me and the other people.

But overall very good story and characters. If you like romance you will love it. If you like it in a school setting then this is for you. The school feels like Hogwarts and the My Hero Academia School. If you like anti-hero this is for you. I can tell that the author is building up this anti-hero.

Before I'll go. I would like to thank the author and his team. I may not know who they are. But they do one heck of a job. Thank you for the story.

Wille1412
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TLDR : If you can get through the first chapter, TRY the second and see how far you go, nothing to lose anyways.

OVERVIEW

For all the wrong I find in the writing of this novel, and for all the "shit" I give in the comments of the chapters, I really can't bring myself to hate his. I actually like the characters, not that I know much about them but either way.

I feel like this novell, as it stands right now, that every chapter isn't even a quarter finished, there's so much that COULD be added to make everything so much better(that is excluding the errors in writing). Since there's practically nothing that gets described I feel like this is just a more expanded mind map for the author to use to create a story.

Let's start with the positive, the characters, I like our main characters, but here's the catch, I don't actually know anything about them, still they are enjoyable to watch.

Story, it exists, why? No idea, it just does, nothing is explained, no motives, no nothing. We have an overview of what our characters wan to achieve, but we still don't know why, they just do.

Style, the author has seemingly gone through different ways of writing throughout the first 10 or so chapters of the story, and I believe that the author seems to have found a way to write that suits them the best(from their previous writing).
But, there are no descriptions, everything is just tell and no showing, we have gotten very few descriptions of anything since the start of the novell(and some may say that we are thankful for it, but I digress). There are many characters that get introduced outside of our main cast that just don't even get a short description, nothing at all.
There are also many times where us as readers have to assume things, this is because the author seems to have some kind of hate against describing things which cna make it hard for the reader to understand and have them re-read something several times.

Grammar, it's bad, like, really, really bad. Not unreadable, for most, but still, it's bad. Now, most of the words themselves aren't actually grammatically wrong, it's just the way they are used in the novell that is okay at best and makes me want to gauge my eyes out at worst, there are many times where things like "Said me" or "Asked me" is used, but there are also other problems that you will definitely notice if you have a basic grasp of the English language.

The story definitely doesn't deserve five stars in my opinion, if only because the writing itself can't express enough to warrant such high ratings. People saying that the grammar can be excused because it's a rough draft clearly hasn't heard of a second reading, because I refuse to believe that some of these chapters have had even somethins small like that. But, I'm not here to start throwing out comments about other peoples reviews.

Other than that, the novell seems to be getting better in the writing, but I can't honestly tell you if that's because the author has decided to not describe things(going for less is more) or if there has actually been a qualative improvement. Anyways, chapter one is a good exampel of how to find as many wrongs as possible. Everything after that seems to be relatively okay, still doesn't warrant more than a 3 star in my opinion, but, whatever.

MurphysLaw
  • Overall Score
  1. I really wanted to like this novel, but the grammar and sentence structure is mindbogglingly bad. I understand if English isn't your first language, but my next door neighbor s two year old has better structure. From some of the comments it appears this is a second novel for you, I would suggest giving yourself an off day once a week and just edit next week's chapters.  Only made it til around chap 12, but the part of the story i could make out seemed good.