Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Mystery High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Character-driven fantasy/mystery/litrpg.

The World is a cruel place. You must choose your Skills wisely to learn the truth that lies beyond the Five Territories of Man.

The Territories are isolated areas shielded from a hostile environment known as the Mana Expanse. Filled with horrors and monsters of unimaginable strength, the Expanse is both inhospitable and deadly.

Alan, a young man living in a border town, watches in terror as the Territory boundaries start to fail and the creatures that were waiting beyond begin to move, bringing with them a promise of violence and blood.

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nophen
  • Overall Score

Looking forward to more!

It takes a little while to find its footing, but really liking the story more as it goes on!

TheHuscarl
  • Overall Score

Multiple leads who have some difference in personality and aren't grouped up. Well written and no glaring mistakes as far as i can tell (the only i spotted was the use of effect instead of affect once), with well structured sentences etc.. 

A major story/world element is the Litrpg system in place as it's a Litrpg. The "system" is nice enough as of now, and has some unique aspects to it. Some abilities don't have a flat counter to it but instead has a attribute focus/multiplier. 

The main characters have goals imposed on them because of circumstances in the beginning, and for Alan those goals seem like they'll stick. But both mc's seem like they'll be doing a lot of investigation. And the mystery elements are nice and seemingly deep, atleast here in the beginning :)

Chillingbear
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Decent Fic, Confusing character build

Edit: I would encourage people to leave a review on how they feel about this fic, the Author is very willing to talk about aspects of the novel I have complained about and is open to discussion. An excellent quality in an author to have. :D


This has a ton of potential, suffering teenager growing up when everything is going to shit. Simple enough conept but well done so far.

My biggest issue though is that the MC is borderline retarded. Legit retarded. He spends his intital points in a way that will make your brain stutter

Spoiler: Spoiler

 Another wonderful Special-Kid-Moment is when he decides to avoid telling the guards the CRUCIAL information about how his village got butchered by goblins. Nope he just avoids it and tries to weasel his way out and is stupidly stubborn about........ 

Some of the MC's decisions are so baffling that I have to take a step back. It is jarring, having a well written novel stop you short in a sheer moment of stupidy of the MC who is supposed to be smart. 

BinLox
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Looking forward to more!

It's a great story about suffering and rising (haltingly) up from it. Seriously worth a try.

king_s
  • Overall Score

Well written, original, & great. Worth reading!

dont listen to the guy complaining about the character build. It actually makes perfect sense in the circumstances. Only an idiot would choose otherwise, the MC is actually acting realistically. Great story, it’s like everything you love, with a unique twist. Definitely worth the read! Please don’t drop this. I love the skill limits, adds some gravity to every character! Great stuff!

cjaofas
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No matter what the reviews say, just try it for yourself!

 

Grammar and style leave nothing to be wanting.

The plot is something new and original.

Characters are hard to review this early, but alans progression looks well written and.interesting.

Stat/skill system is also interesting ! 

 

octonus
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Promising story, interesting plot. Time will tell if the story survives the addition of other characters and the boosting of the MC.

The biggest compliment to the story are the negative reviews, as the problems listed in them have been edited out. Anyone who takes criticism well and uses it to improve their work is someone who can do great things. The author is clearly one of those people.

Novel_Addict
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I've actually been put off from picking up this novel for two weeks or so due one of the reviews below. 

After giving it a shot, I'm happy I did that. The author has done an excellent job in removing any plot holes and really improved the novel through the critiques hesh breb given. 

Reading it now, I have absolutely no complaints or critiques. I really like the authors way of storytelling, it gives you an immersive feel and constant anticipation. 

I hope the release pick up speed so it can be a daily read. 

Jest3rX0
  • Overall Score

A practical example of assumptions

I'll state right off I am not a fan of most Lit-RPGs, my preference is for understandable characters and burning OP self inserts at the stake. That said I do believe this author has talent...if he could get past his modern sensibilities. 

The MC is a teenager, a very young one but still a teen, and his every action doesn't reflect this. Puts all of his points into Luck, that's fine if desperate, but then he leaves the rest unallocated presumably due to some local tradition about age limits. Then after a week he spends in the 'very recently sacked village' he finally decides to leave and travel to a semi-distant settlement where he warns no one. He's a victim, acting like a bad thief lying his way into their barracks, where he's then met by a Psychologist? A trained, mental health doctor in a pseudo medieval setting? 

At this point I just had to put it in the 'wait for the rewrite' pile for the author to learn. I know it's nitpicky but the little details are what build up the setting and this fiction just reads a bit to much like a modern MMO then a believable world. Putting game mechanics into a world should have an effect on the culture, but what it shouldn't do is add modern slang, modern job titles and sensibilities, or such artificial actions to a MC.

still I do believe the Author has talent, just lacking in experience. 

Psycho
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Extremely well written story in style, detail and grammar.

Likeable and relatable main character.

Logical and practical System that doesn't compromise realness of the world.

Gritty mysterious world and plot that will not be resolved in black/white silly way.

What else there is to desire in a story? Good harem/romance development? Not this time I guess. Well, who knows tho.. mc may yet step foot into university life.