The Game of Gods

by exyled

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead GameLit Grimdark LitRPG Magic Mythos Post Apocalyptic Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

Charles earns the ultimate surprise one morning when he awakens to discover the world has ended, or rather the gods of old were bored and decided to redesign how it worked. Everyone else got a nice little message that showed up their vision, everyone else woke up when the gods decided to make their decision known. Only Charles gets cursed by the gods, and only Charles gets a visit from one as well.

The Game of the Gods has begun and the monsters of old are returning to our world, and all it took was the death of half the worlds population and counting.

Author's Note: This is my raw, mostly unedited text. I am using RR to test out this story as I'm writing it to get a feel for how the published and edited copy will be received. Certain sections of the story will be changed or added to when I publish it as well.

The first book can be found on Amazon here! The companion series 'The Dungeon Alaria' can also be found on Amazon here!

Thanks for reading and supporting me!

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exyled

exyled

Exyled

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BinLox
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Looking forward to more!

Style - no complaints. I like the way you're writing this story.

Story - the only complaint I have is that there could be... more. I'm not talking about chapter/page count; something is missing. I'm not sure what, though. Perhaps that we never see monsters killed rewards or something else? I don't know. I do like how there's less, but I don't like how there's none.

Grammar - needs a spellcheck and a few quick edits for misplaced commas. I had to stop a couple times in order to re-read sentences in the middle of them, trying different tones in my head until they finally made sense (and I figured out that there were missing or misplaced commas).

Character - I like Charles. I like Kira. I sort of like Alli. Alli is... not as well fleshed out quite yet. Please put more effort into her. We have no idea what her background is from before she met Charles. What she thinks about her past owner(s), or if she even had any. Does she miss them, if she had one/more? How about what she thinks about Charles' current attitude/personality? She's commented on Kira's, but not his.

 

All in all a great story, and definitely one that I will be checking in on for updates. Keep it up!

chakfor
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Book 1 was good enough that I purchased it on Amazon after reading it on RRL. Book 2 looks to be shaping up to be better.

Yeah, the story is somewhat generic. Yeah, the genre is oversaturated. I get it. Both are solid points.

What we have here, though, is a well-written gamelit. While the genre as a whole is saturated the quality isn't up to par with a few exceptions. This is one such exception. It's not a flawless story by any means but I'm looking forward to see where it leads.

Andross Guile
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Bad, could've been better

The MC is a moron and wears plot armour so thick not even Don Jon could penetrate it.

Seriously, it's not that great. It has potential but stop with all the literal Deus Ex Machina. The guy should have died in chapter 2.

G4merSylver
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Somewhat enjoyable to read.

It's ... Somewhat enjoyable to read. I'll be honest here, the story probanpr will be another one of these litrpg divine apocalypse ones. Which isn't bad per se, but I don't expect any major fresh wind of it.

It's a decent story within its genre, unfortunately ... That's as far as it goes for me. The genre is somewhat oversaturated, it's just another story among the dozens if not hundreds I would vaguely recall.

That's where I picked off the remainder of the score, if you in your own right aren't oversaturated with this genre, it's closer to a four but not quite a 4.5 or 5.0

I'll be honest here, you can write quite well. I'm sure that with more experience your style will develop further too, through that's presuming that you put in an active effort to write better.

Onestep at a time, it takes a while till you get to a point where people enjoy both your writing and series enough to go out of their way to support it.

My advice is that you rethink whether you really want to walk down the trodden path, you mentioned that you want to publish the story on Amazon and linked your patron as well.

It's easier to write something that is following the popular stories, unfortunately it's much more difficult to establish a large following or a community that supports you with such a genre.

But that's just my personal opinion, it's your decision on what you wake out of your story. I guess this would be better to be sent privately, but since it's a more general message I'll just leave it here.

Right, let's talk about the actual story which this review is dedicated to.

Style, style is always subjective. I personally found that your style is a bit ... straining to read. It doesn't enrapture me, to me your style lacks vividness and color.

Youare good at conveying emotions through words and mimics, but somewhat lacking in regards to fleshing out situations and other details.

But your grammar is fine, there are some occasional mistakes but almost all of them are a typo rather then flawed English.

Story ... Well, I elaborated my issues with your story above. The genre is oversaturated, it feels like a rehash and that's something you didn't manage to escape from either.

Characters, I would say that this is among your greater strengths. You are good at conveying emotion and painting characters when they matter.

All in all, I enjoyed to read up the whole thing in one sitting. I'm looking forward to your other works.

ObscureReference
  • Overall Score

Very high quality yet claims to be a new writer...I'm suspicious of this. However, the spelling is great and the story itself shows promise and action.

heteaho
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200% too much gods involved in the MC's life right from the start (for no apparent sane reason) Story dropped immediately, 2 stars for decent grammar.