The Forbidden Class

by Walter

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead

Hatred. Lust. Power.

There are many reasons why the forbidden classes are chosen. For Katai, a young village Guard, the reason was simple.

Vengeance.

His wife was murdered during a bandit raid. His village was decimated. His life, ruined. However, some of his people survived. Enough to make him care, to keep him protecting and fighting for their lives.

 

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Walter

Walter

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Threetails
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Would recommend, but has flaws

Hey, I just wanted to drop a review after reading this story. I enjoyed it, but I also wanted to leave behind a review partly with some criticisms for the author. This review is accurate as of Jan 2, 2019. I will gladly update it in the future.

Style Score:

The author has excellent writing capabilities. While none of the characters have particularly unique diction, the author manages to keep voices separate and unique mostly through tone and subject. The stern character comes off as stern. The comedic character comes off as comedic. It’s well executed.

The same pretty much holds true for the descriptive language. It’s well done. As you read, you can more or less picture what the author is describing, whether it be the environment, terrain, or some monster. The style is a solid 4.5/5. It could do with some small improvements, but it’s very good and doesn't detract from enjoyment of the story at all.

Grammar Score:

The grammar in this story is excellent. It has clearly been proofread at least once. When reading, no significant or major typos or grammatical errors pop up. 5/5.

Story Score:

Unfortunately, this is where the story seems to fall flat, and this ultimately in turn ends up sabotaging the character score. The story isn’t fundamentally bad. A man has his wife die and then he gets the opportunity to unlock forbidden power and he takes it in order to get revenge for his wife. A little bit of a cliche, but not that much, and with proper execution, a quite enjoyable read.

But while this is supposed to be a revenge story, it doesn’t read like a revenge story at all. After the main character’s wife whom he grew up with and is practically his soul mate dies, the next day he’s poking fun at his friend. In combat he’s for the large part very level headed, and doesn’t seem to be depressed, lonely, or even really have any lasting trauma from his wife dying. The only scene really well executed within the mood of a revenge story is the wolf scene in chapter 7. The rest of it doesn’t really seem to fit the expected tone of the story at all. As much as it pains me to do it, I can't give more than 2/5.

Character Score:

I’d say that a lot of the reasoning for why I gave a poor story score bleeds into the character score. The way that the characters act just doesn’t seem fitting. Silas has an extremely devil-may-care attitude that doesn’t really seem fitting at all considering half his village just died. The same with the main character who seems rather hopeful after his soulmate died and his village was massacred. The way the characters act just doesn’t really seem to line up with what’s happening in the story. Overall, 3.5/5. They're not that bad characters, it's just their actions don't really seem to line up with what they should be.

Overall, I’d still give this story a 4/5. It’s good. It pulled me in. It’s very well written. The characters are actually pretty good, and if they didn’t feel so strange since the story is supposed to be a revenge story I’d probably give them 4.5/5 or maybe even a 5/5. The whole gaining power and getting stronger thing does a great job when it comes to pulling you in. As it is the story doesn’t really make too much sense given the context. I'd definitely give it a read though. It's good.

obran
  • Overall Score

The Forbidden Class not the Forbidden Dance

This is the story of Katai, a young warrior who after the death of his wife by bandits is given access to the Rare class "Blood Mage" which according to a decree by the Empire is a Forbidden Class.  

Why this class is forbidden has not been revealed.  Nor are the powers themselves all that scary or taboo.  After all, this is a world where stabbing someone in the gut with a sword is commonplace, causing lacerations with magic is only one more step removed.  Maybe the class is forbidden due to the classes it evolves into.  We shall see, we shall see.

On the whole, the storytelling is good, the characters are likable, and while the author takes no great steps into the realms of originality, this is the kind of story that Royal Road is great for.  Something that you can just enjoy purely for the sake of enjoying.  

limwanya
  • Overall Score

Litrpg that doesn't suck

Any properly written litrpg story deserves 5 stars from me

DarkAether
  • Overall Score

My first rule in RR is to never EVER read a series before they author has released a minimum of 10 chapters...... I broke down and decided to read this series at 8. When it comes to rating this series I am gonna have to list three different catagories that I believe are important to this series.

The first catagory I am going to rate this series on is honestly the potential reaction of the character's themselves, while at this moment the only other character that we have really interacted with besides the mc is Silas the story does a pretty good job of potraying the reaction and social stigma that accepting a forbidden class would bring upon the person who would dare to accept such a class.

The second catagory that I would like to rate this series on is the personality of the mc, by this point I have been with RR for about a year now give or take and one of the thing's that you get to notice is that alot of the time's author's can create character's that are quite honestly bland and boring but with our mc you can actually feel what he is going through in the series and empathize with his issues.

As for my last rating, the first thing that I would like to note is that I am not some raging grammer natzi BUT I do find it annoying when you have to stop a stories flow just to figure out what the author is trying to say but for Walter I find that the grammer and flow of the story is pretty well laid out.

All in all Walter thank's for the work and I can't wait for chapter nine and beyond

TerrifiedFish
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Falls incredibly short for a story

A shame another potentially entertaining revenge fantasy falls short. I only got through a few chapters before realizing it falls to the video game RPG trend. 

The writing style is fine, but needs work. A total failure of understanding of show don't tell and uncesessary exposition dumps that could be delivered much more naturally. The soonest this stuck out was mostly explaining the obvious: Explaining who the wife was in a big dump, explaining what these warriors were doing, and most insultingly, explaining what "fire and screaming" meant. The book treats me like I can't infer anything and it's frustrating to read. 

The hamfisted RPG elements into the story I've read so far really is the weakest part. Treating any fantasy world as just a video game world with literal XP popups and level up popups and a literal class selection screen ruins it all horribly. It makes me think I'm reading a transcribed lets play of somebody's heavily modded playthrough of any old RPG. Even down to the main hook to the story: A unique class. Instead of discovering it or risking something, the main character simply finds a prompt and chooses "Yes". It's incredibly lazy, contrived, and horribly hurts the story.