Original ONGOING Action Sci-fi Non-Human lead Secret Identity Super Heroes Villainous Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Fortress City has Super Villains, who have evil lairs, and in them they make super weapons. But when a bioweapon is granted super powers of its own, will Fortress City be able to handle the Super Minion?

 

Updating Sporadically.

Originally written for NaNoWriMo 2018 Royal Road challenge.

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Gogglesbear

Gogglesbear

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Gitaxis
  • Overall Score

Absolutely amazing, one of my favorite superhero type stories. Has a little bit in common with worm but is a more comedic take on the genre.

Lawkz
  • Overall Score

Exceptional, but too short

The beginning can be confusing since the MC doesn't understand or knows the name for various things, but it's all worth it.

My only complaints: TOO SHORT and interludes are a waste of time (for the author. For the reader they are kinda fun just nowhere near the main content)

amassie
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I have high hopes

Whoa, this is really good!  Easily one of the best stories on RR as evidenced by it's sudden rise to the top 10.  The main character is great.  I hope we see a lot more character growth from the side characters as the story progresses.

precinctomega
  • Overall Score

I'm pretty new to this site, so I hope this is fair comment.

I found the story incredibly compelling.  You basically owe my work a half day because I wasted their time reading your (Tofu's) story.  He is an outstanding antihero: sympathetic, interesting and intriguing, who feels like a hero but acts against the heroic archetype in such a subtle way (violence notwithstanding) that we almost don't notice.

This is a book that deserves to be published.  When it's done.

So, having said that.  It needs a *ton* of editing.  Not for the content, which is great.  But for the plot development.  Because at the moment, this reads like a TV drama: episodic snap-shots that are strung together to no other purpose than to hook the reader from chapter to chapter.  You do this brilliantly, but it's not a book.

The one thing it's lacking (and I'm not saying it's not in your head, but it's not in your narrative - and 29 chapters in, it should be by now) is an actual plot.

We had a brief glimpse, early on, of a plt when we met Mr Slick.  And I'm sure you meant to bring that back in by now.  But there's really no sense of what Tofu wants or of what obstacles he is going to face to get it, nor of an on-rushing major obstacle at the climax of the story.

Having said all that, I'm aware that you're writing this as you go along.  There's plenty of room and time for you to weave all of this back in.  And this is an incredible compelling story (it would make a great TV serial, btw).

Keep it up.  I'll follow along.

Pranjal Mishra
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At last some original content.... I'm hooked up

Style: The story follows MC's point of view...Nothing new but what new is that MC is not human. And because he is not human, we get to see some different perspective, the other side of the curtain... A cold calculating mind still learning about the new world he finds himself in and that's what makes it interesting.

Story: Story is a fresh of breath air. A trendsetter for sure. Some ideas like odd summer are intriguing to say the least which in turn increase the ambience of the story.

Grammar: I don't pay much attention to every detail when I'm reading so many a gaps are filled automatically by my brain. There are no glaring flaws in the sentencing or grammar to break your flaw. That doesn't mean it does not have any , many of them (gleefully)  pointed out by fellow amateur proofreaders ( grammar Nazis)..... uhm

Character: The characters are shown through the eyes of the MC. They are fleshed out enough to not look fake. Each of them have appropriate reasons to do what they do. Have their own quirks and personalities which sets it apart from many a stories posted on this site. And how many times do we get a glimpse of the villainous side....Right?

 

RoiDrago
  • Overall Score

I like it a lot, thanks, it keeps my interests all the way and a logical structure of evolution without the usual clichés. 

The world itself is a shade of grey between heroes and vilains.

The mc id himself quite funni in is clumsiness and yet he is a charming person whose character and innocence can be appreciated.

I can only recommend reding it, the mc become more and more interesting and the secondary characters also mabage to make you want to enjoy them.

Ps. Sory for my bad english, I speak French and I have written with a translator.

Bunny Tamer
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Simply Grand super hero story with an inhuman MC that acts inhuman. 

Saint BobJoe
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Somehow Googlesbear has created a world that is equal parts terrifying, comedic, and sweet. The main character is fascinating not only in the way he was created, but in the way he somehow is a being of mostly pure logic and reason that kills things, but he/it still as time to make friends, play videogames, and eat tofu burgers. Somehow it's as innocent as a child even as it works for a super villain and kills people without mercy. Usually, a horrifying concept, but it somehow works. 

 

A surprising read that leaves me hungry for more.... And for tofu burgers

Kumen
  • Overall Score

Very worth the read

Chapter 22 Jailhouse Rock Candy is the funniest thing I've read this year.  Super Minion is a great story, very well writen and very, very funny.

Stephen Lewis
  • Overall Score

Ch30

Well fuck I have been putting off reading this for months because the title and synopsis didnt grap me but I tried it and the story grabbed me and pulled me along

Enjoyable funny(at least for me) read

Cant remember any errors(haven't slept yet stayed up to finish this sue me)

Worth a try