Fortress City has Super Villains, who have evil lairs, and in them they make super weapons. But when a bioweapon is granted super powers of its own, will Fortress City be able to handle the Super Minion?
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I had a lot of misgivings before actually reading this story. I normally don't like superhero stories, the few I read were mediocre at best. So I didn't start with the best of feelings into this story. However, it's actually a really great fiction. The world is interesting, the mc is actually cool and fleshed out and the story arc so far is very entertaining.
I would love if there were more chapters coming out, 2 chapters a week are not great news for my addiction.
A really well written take on the superhero genre, I can’t say I’ve read better on this site, it’s not to fast and the build up is really satisfying when something does happen because he isn’t becoming an invincible killing machine of the apocalypse within 1 chapter, a lot of indie authors takes on this genre and who am I kidding even seasoned writers have a really hard time with the pacing in this kind of novel, thing always happen to fast and we end up with half a book of pointless jumping around and then he just gets super strong and his personality does a 180 for the last like 20% of the book, I really love your concept and how you started us at something of a true beginning for your character, I really hope you end up finishing this novel and we see you popping it on Amazon one day!
One of my favourites in RR. I love every bits of it but most of all the MC and his (its?) thought process and the conclusions it reaches. The story is great and justifies the title as the MC is growing into a competent minion. The flow of the story is good and keeps you hooked whether it is action or comic moments.
Other characters are well rounded and seem realistic enough.
The MC finding dead grandmas and potted plants dangerous is hilarious.
Finished ch 31, desperately waiting for more!!!
I like it a lot, thanks, it keeps my interests all the way and a logical structure of evolution without the usual clichés.
The world itself is a shade of grey between heroes and vilains.
The mc id himself quite funni in is clumsiness and yet he is a charming person whose character and innocence can be appreciated.
I can only recommend reding it, the mc become more and more interesting and the secondary characters also mabage to make you want to enjoy them.
Ps. Sory for my bad english, I speak French and I have written with a translator.
The MC's way of viewing the world is so incredibly interesting (and hilarious) that even the most minute details of the intricate world are fascinating. Great action, hilarious comedic beats and just a tinge of darkness that comes with a literally amoral protagonist.
Style: The story follows MC's point of view...Nothing new but what new is that MC is not human. And because he is not human, we get to see some different perspective, the other side of the curtain... A cold calculating mind still learning about the new world he finds himself in and that's what makes it interesting.
Story: Story is a fresh of breath air. A trendsetter for sure. Some ideas like odd summer are intriguing to say the least which in turn increase the ambience of the story.
Grammar: I don't pay much attention to every detail when I'm reading so many a gaps are filled automatically by my brain. There are no glaring flaws in the sentencing or grammar to break your flaw. That doesn't mean it does not have any , many of them (gleefully) pointed out by fellow amateur proofreaders ( grammar Nazis)..... uhm
Character: The characters are shown through the eyes of the MC. They are fleshed out enough to not look fake. Each of them have appropriate reasons to do what they do. Have their own quirks and personalities which sets it apart from many a stories posted on this site. And how many times do we get a glimpse of the villainous side....Right?
I'm pretty new to this site, so I hope this is fair comment.
I found the story incredibly compelling. You basically owe my work a half day because I wasted their time reading your (Tofu's) story. He is an outstanding antihero: sympathetic, interesting and intriguing, who feels like a hero but acts against the heroic archetype in such a subtle way (violence notwithstanding) that we almost don't notice.
This is a book that deserves to be published. When it's done.
So, having said that. It needs a *ton* of editing. Not for the content, which is great. But for the plot development. Because at the moment, this reads like a TV drama: episodic snap-shots that are strung together to no other purpose than to hook the reader from chapter to chapter. You do this brilliantly, but it's not a book.
The one thing it's lacking (and I'm not saying it's not in your head, but it's not in your narrative - and 29 chapters in, it should be by now) is an actual plot.
We had a brief glimpse, early on, of a plt when we met Mr Slick. And I'm sure you meant to bring that back in by now. But there's really no sense of what Tofu wants or of what obstacles he is going to face to get it, nor of an on-rushing major obstacle at the climax of the story.
Having said all that, I'm aware that you're writing this as you go along. There's plenty of room and time for you to weave all of this back in. And this is an incredible compelling story (it would make a great TV serial, btw).
Keep it up. I'll follow along.
The beginning can be confusing since the MC doesn't understand or knows the name for various things, but it's all worth it.
My only complaints: TOO SHORT and interludes are a waste of time (for the author. For the reader they are kinda fun just nowhere near the main content)
Absolutely amazing, one of my favorite superhero type stories. Has a little bit in common with worm but is a more comedic take on the genre.
Can't remember how many times I laughed out loud for this one. Similar stories exist, but I love the slightly fresh take on it. A huge plus from me though, is this was well revised and edited. Very few issues, either in pacing or grammar.
I have enjoyed it very much up to chapter 30. Only complaint is the last chapter caught me by surprise and I was annoyed because it was in a good part... Though most parts of this are good...