Fortress City has Super Villains, who have evil lairs, and in them they make super weapons. But when a bioweapon is granted super powers of its own, will Fortress City be able to handle the Super Minion?
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
- Total Views :
- Average Views :
- Followers :
- Favorites :
- Ratings :
- Pages :
Leave a review
Somehow Googlesbear has created a world that is equal parts terrifying, comedic, and sweet. The main character is fascinating not only in the way he was created, but in the way he somehow is a being of mostly pure logic and reason that kills things, but he/it still as time to make friends, play videogames, and eat tofu burgers. Somehow it's as innocent as a child even as it works for a super villain and kills people without mercy. Usually, a horrifying concept, but it somehow works.
A surprising read that leaves me hungry for more.... And for tofu burgers
My dear author,
You've done it. You had an idea and wrote a story set in a superhero/supervillain universe without making it about heroes or villains. I can't tell you how great it is, mainly because I was getting really bored of the melodramatic paper thin plots you get with superheroes/supervillains.
You used a main character (because "it" is not a hero or a villain) that can credibly exist and let the reader learn about the world surrounding it. You also made the character have an actual progression with the stuff it is learning.
Oh boy oh boy. It's so fantastic I could shit my pants and it would not make me grin any less when reading your story. And what a story it is. No useless melodrama, side characters are not any less human human then the average people you meet on the street and dialogs flow like mountain springs in the middle of the spring.
Seriously, I would kiss you had I known you.
Simply Grand super hero story with an inhuman MC that acts inhuman.
I'm pretty new to this site, so I hope this is fair comment.
I found the story incredibly compelling. You basically owe my work a half day because I wasted their time reading your (Tofu's) story. He is an outstanding antihero: sympathetic, interesting and intriguing, who feels like a hero but acts against the heroic archetype in such a subtle way (violence notwithstanding) that we almost don't notice.
This is a book that deserves to be published. When it's done.
So, having said that. It needs a *ton* of editing. Not for the content, which is great. But for the plot development. Because at the moment, this reads like a TV drama: episodic snap-shots that are strung together to no other purpose than to hook the reader from chapter to chapter. You do this brilliantly, but it's not a book.
The one thing it's lacking (and I'm not saying it's not in your head, but it's not in your narrative - and 29 chapters in, it should be by now) is an actual plot.
We had a brief glimpse, early on, of a plt when we met Mr Slick. And I'm sure you meant to bring that back in by now. But there's really no sense of what Tofu wants or of what obstacles he is going to face to get it, nor of an on-rushing major obstacle at the climax of the story.
Having said all that, I'm aware that you're writing this as you go along. There's plenty of room and time for you to weave all of this back in. And this is an incredible compelling story (it would make a great TV serial, btw).
Keep it up. I'll follow along.
I like this story so very much, I hope Tofu can one day find it within himself to trust someone, share his secrets and maybe even fall in love 😍
Please keep this story going!
Ok so a fresh take on a hero world and our hero is a minion. A slightly sociopathic but loveably innocent Monster. If you can handle a protagonist whose closest definition of morals is returning the favor by any means short of suicide then I highly recommend this darling lackey.
The start of this story is what naturally catches your attention. It starts off from the perspective of a being who doesn’t know anything about the world around it, and you have to fill in the blanks with your own assumptions. Best of all it actually does confirm your suspicions as the story goes on. It being a superhero/meta humans earth really did throw me a lovely curveball. Definitly a story worth reading. You’ll be hooked just to have your questions answerd.
Reminds me of worm, and if that isn't enough reason for you to start reading this well we've got different taste so nothing I say about great characters, world building, and plot will.
Its written well enough that I couldn't put it down, I wanted more. The main character manages to be a wonderfully written non human character. Who is socially clueless which he gets away with by luck and human love quirks. While maintaining a believable non deus ex machina feel.
Side characters seem like they will have nice actual stories behind them and not just a plot device.
World building is well integrated and makes sense as Main character learns as we learn.
Story is okay so far i love the way it's going but not a whole lot has happened besides escape from lab.
Any grammar mistakes haven't been immersion breaking
What I wouldn't do for these chapters to come out faster?
The answer is nothing.
I've been ignoring this for a little while now. Not any reason in particular for this just skipped it. Now I wish I had started this when I first saw it pop up but also didn't start until it was over because I know I'm going to binge through this whole story and be left sad and waiting impatiently for the next chapter