The Ordinary Life of Tom Nobody

by Chimeric

Original HIATUS Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Strategy Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

[participant in the 2018 NaNoWriMo Royal Road challenge]

The Ordinary Life of Tom Nobody is a LitRPG system story where each person transitions into the system, or SCHEMA as this system is known, innocent and unaware of his former life. Following the tutorial, memories return, but by this point, each person has a better chance of accepting their new world. It also gives them an opportunity to start from scratch, fresh without all the baggage of their former lives dictating their decisions in the early stages of the process. I don’t expect this will necessarily turn into an action-packed heroic tale, my intent is to create a character who wants to have just an ordinary, but reasonably comfortable life. I don’t know myself how well he will succeed, there may be twists and Tom may discover some heroism hidden deep inside. I guess we’ll find out together.

This is my first writing attempt. I’ve wanted to write all my life, but I’ve never been able to develop the proper discipline to put in the work. I hope I complete the challenge and work my way past this hump. I am writing this as part of the NaNoWriMo Royal Road Challenge. While I will try to self-edit as I go, the challenge requires close to 2,000 words a day, so parts of the story may be rough, and things like plot lines may not make as much sense as any of us would like. If all goes well, and I complete the challenge, I plan on going back through everything and trying to polish it up. In the meanwhile, thank you for reading and I hope I don’t disappoint.

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  • Ratings :
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  • Pages :
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alstonsleet
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The best part about this story so far is the characters. Dark and gritty, young and foolish, inhuman, human, etc, etc. But they all *feel real*,  which is the real test of character creation in a story.

The style is solid, the grammar is top notch, and the only reason I gave a lower score on the story is that while we know a great deal about the characters, we are a 100 pages in (chapter 11, so far) and we still know very little about the world itself or the over arching main story line.

That being said, I'm convinced it's coming and when it does, I will be moving that score up I'm sure.

Read this story, you won't be sorry.

Zir
  • Overall Score

A gigantic waste of time

Tldr Your Mc has like 8 personalities 1 is ok and kind of generic and the rest are completely retarded and ruined any hope i had for the story. also a 200+ page tutorial where nothing happens except the mc going full suicidal retard right at the end ugh

 

The author constantly teases at a system apocalypse for almost 300 pages while fleshing out the world, Mc and his beliefs .

Everything seemed ok, first we have a guy that didn't know who he was and had no one important in his life. Then we learn he was in the army then became an arms dealer .Then we learn how shit his home life was so there is a reason for his dark path. But his personality is super childish according to the author, despite him being a hardened criminal, war vet, and senior citizen. 

I was ok with all of this even with 200 pages of boring info dumps. There was so much detail, the tease of the actual plot kept me going. But then a string of the dumbest personality traits were added at the end of the tutorial that are completely incongruent with the first 200 pages of character building.

Also it was hammered home for 200 pages how dangerous the world became, and he was told his chances are garbage. So instead of taking the witches spell book(who was already revealed to be out to get him just for taking her staff), picking any god so he could be healed/ressed, and picking a combat class; he does fucking none of it. wtf happened to wanting to live? why would he hamstring himself, why is he an sjw? i just cant even becky, make it stop. i originally ranted in this review because i had so much anticipation and it was just demolished. olnasfdjnsdasatga

blackraven1234
  • Overall Score

Since so far (chapter 17) i read, it's still in the tutoriel act but it's already has a good world building, solid well tought RPG System and a intersenting mc with depth. Keep it up.

 

A advanced review will come when the story has more pages to comment on. Until then sayonara

azarth
  • Overall Score

Keep writing this please. I love the character Tom he speaks to me in a very deep way. I hope to read a couple of hundred more chapters and will buy the books on Amazon if you ever do publish them. 

ljmlsharp
  • Overall Score

Great characterization. Interesting story. Great job!