The Dungeon Traveler

by alstonsleet

Original HIATUS Comedy Fantasy LitRPG Magic Non-Human lead Reincarnation
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

I spent most of my life trying to get by with whatever happiness I could, that included alcohol, food, and porn.

My death was unpleasant and humiliating. However, death is something we all need to go through. A bit like a proctology exam; necessary but never anything one wants to go through while it's happening.

However, death was supposed to be the end of it. Either way, the pain, suffering, and failures were supposed to be over. I was supposed to wink out, or perhaps take a trip to a lovely afterlife!

No, I ended up as a small stone, strapped to a table, while a pimple-faced teenager rubbed my facets and told me how 'lovely' I was. Last time I checked, birth wasn't supposed to be as embarrassing as death!

Life as a dungeon core isn't all bad. I like watching lizard love triangles and snooping on militaristic dwarves; though there is that issue where I'm trying to free myself from the entanglements of the Gods....ok, yeah that last one is a bit of a problem.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 56,728
  • Average Views :
  • 9,455
  • Followers :
  • 2,295
  • Favorites :
  • 641
  • Ratings :
  • 743
  • Pages :
  • 24
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
alstonsleet

alstonsleet

Avatar of Confusion

Achievements
2,000 Followers
2,250 Comments
Word Count (12)
Writathon Royal Road 2019 winner
Great Review (V)
Fledgling Reviewer (IV)
3rd Anniversary
Top List #50
Writathon Royal Road 2018 winner
100,000 Views
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
Brian P.
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Know what you’re getting into

This is supposed to be a reincarnated dungeon story, but it really isn’t. There’s a bit of a bait-and-switch going on here as the author seems much more interested in writing about the gods of the fantasy world than they are in writing a dungeon story.

There is a reincarnated dungeon, sure, but the things that are typically in the genre are missing. The reincarnated individual doesn’t learn from the mistakes of his previous life, he doesn’t grow in power or think up clever solutions when presented with problems, and in fact isn’t driven to improve in any way until the story is practically over. He starts out as a lazy asshole content to rest on his laurels and remains that way throughout.

The magic & menu systems is vague and ill-defined, the kingdoms the dungeon can “travel” to are bare sketches, and the gods, which are the driving force behind the story, have vague motivations and their personalities range from mysterious to mercurial.

And nothing the gods do, no matter how horrid, is ever challenged.

It’s fast paced, sometimes to its detriment as in the final few chapters, but it remains quick read. So, if you just need something to fill the time you can certainly do worse. But know what you’re getting into.

jawesome
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Lots of potential at the start...

This story opens great, and if it were given room to breathe and perhaps LATER EDITED for a print release, I could see this story going far!

 

Unfortunately, the author is like a movie director who put two hours of film in the camera and says "when we run out, we're done!"

 

The back third of this book is both rushed and crammed to fit a word count target, and the quality of the characters, story itself, and the writing all suffer for it. Plans moving forward discussed in the comments and author post-chapter-box-thing make the future sound grim - the main character Dale the dungeon is going to get a "second main character" story roommate, and that's after the author heads off to write something else entirely in the meantime. 

 

This story may not be orphaned in the sense that the author abandoned the work - in his eyes, the first volume is complete. But in casting aside or killing off many of the characters with potential, and being dismissive of what should be the main protagonist as just a means to an end, the functional effect for the reader is very similar to the other orphaned works on the site - the story remains unpolished and I would argue unfinished/incomplete in even the first arc itself, and there's no telling when the author may get around to producing more, or tightening up what he's given us already. 

 

If you're a fan of ongoing RR serials, this is not the book for you. Maybe if you're completely burnt out on dungeon core tales, reading this will bring some form of inspiration - there are a lot of cool ideas/nuggets with potential here... Mostly still unused. If you're a dungeon core story author, you should definitely read this tale for bits and pieces to steal for your own nefarious purposes. For everyone else... Well... The first half or so is really good, and there is probably a way to salvage the rest should the story continue... But until you see a second volume appear here, the only reason to read the first is that the author has declared that he will take the first book down at some point in the future. 

Glameye Pierrot
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

This is just an advertisement, no matter how good the story that was removed was this garbage deserves zero stars but sadly the lowest score I can give it is half a star so enjoy the undeserved praise I guess.

abovelife
  • Overall Score

You actually wrote half a story, with no plot besides the main character reacting to different things. Theres so little character development. Normally I wouldnt have a problem with this, but your planning on selling it as a full book online. Like what??? This is like maybe half a book at best.

Distophic
  • Overall Score

It's a reincarnated dungeon core story, that's it. Other than what i don't like that's pretty much it. Not too drastically different from what you'd expect.

The first problem i have with this story is one i have with other fantasy stories that have gods. Namely, the way they mess with people for the sake of their own goals. Now here it's not blatantly evil like in other cases but it still works to the detriment of the main character dale as it makes him a clear target for people and gods who now want to murder and or enslave him. The definition of a dick move.

The second and more aggravating problem i have is with dale himself. He's a lazy asshole who grossly underutilizes the almost godlike power given to him and instead tries to be a one trick pony who is heavily outclassed by literally every other gods champion. The author literally stated that dale is pretty much just a vehicle to move the story forward to somehow justify how lazy it is. 

 

Edit: Too bad i can't skim through old chapters to edit this and make it more accurate. I was going to delete the rest of my review except this edit as a joke but i need to leave this up for anyone thinking of buying this on amazon. Don't, vol 1 at the very least is not worth whatever price it's put at. The whole story would have to be rewritten drastically for it to be worthy of any monetary value.

Mile
  • Overall Score

Not really Dungeon story.....

there is dungeon element in this story but not the main one!
i think it will more suitable if the title is changes to something about god,cause the main story of this book about gods(mostly)

MeisterJohnny
  • Overall Score

I think it had potential, at least until it disappeared to Amazon Unlimited.

fanvaron
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Amazing take on the Dungeon story

I really love this take on the dungeon genre.

It's something else besides the typical reincarnated person stumbling through the system building their dungeon. While there is moral dilemma it isn't the typical "I need to overcome my inner human/dungeon instinct" in regards to killing.

It's quite different in the way that it is (as of c.29) less about how the dungeon discovers new things and grows its level/monsters but more about its impact on the Environment and the people around it.

That said, I'm looking forward to some actual harder, more complex dungeon/challenge building. I like the cool concept of space magic, but like the story itself acknowledges its pretty much a one trick pony, and since the beginning, nothing really new and exciting has come about in terms of dungeon abilities or magic.

It definitely has a place on my Fav and Follow Lists

 

PS. Ok I'm a little disappointed that this is supposed to be it, this felt very much like a long prologue we didn't even get into the real meat of a Dungeon story.
I was expecting the Dungeony part to go take off at any point but it kept going with the Politics both of the Gods and the empires. 
So I have to agree with Brians' review that the Dungeon is more of a front for the politics.
Pretty disappointing, I was having high hopes but the story didn't deliver.

I would say I have high expectation for the next volume, after the ending of the first, but besides the fact that I had that feeling the whole time and it never paid off.
The author doesn't even have a definitive plan to continue this story any time soon.

w1w2c3p4
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

*spoilers* Fascinating untranslated lizard love

*Spoilers

The story is enjoyable. It's novel enough to be interesting, and the untranslated lizard love triangle was fascinating. Though the actual love triangle itself was unpleasant in some ways. 

Toastforbreakfast
  • Overall Score

I swear I read chapter 37 of this. Where is it?