Esper: Search for Power

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Starstruck. Thats the first word that comes to mind after reading this story. It's a story in a genre where big names like Randidly and The New World dominate the game. Recently, i reviewed another story similar to this one, Skyclad. Esper is more similar to it than any other story in the genre.

And it's something great. I won't say it's the newest, most unique idea i've seen, although it certainly does have those elements, but what got me the most is how well thought-out it was. Extremely so.

Story:

Esper seems to follow a formula set by other stories like it. Earth recieves/is undergoing a trial to recieve a System. A certain person is indited into the System, and recieves a powerful Class. However, Esper then veers off into unfamilar territory by setting some hard limits. Instead of throwing the MC into another world for say, a month, where they will gain lotsa powah str8 up, it sets the limit for years. And doesn't timeskip.

It has an excellent portrayal of the usual Administrator type figure, and best of all, makes the protagonist aware of what is going on, and has deep, indepth thoughts and analysis on their situtaion. Gone are sociopathic characters who strive to kill everything in the quest for powah str8 up. Instead, the story chooses to focus on actual, meaningful details and questions. And honestly, i liked it that way.
It didn't revert to tropes.
It made the MC actually think about and reflect his actions.
It made sense.
And most importantly, it was interesting.
It makes the MC actually question the morality of what he is doing, examine hisnown shortcomings and failures. And it doesn't brush them off two seconds later. Instead it actually has opinions on thay sort of thing.

I found that one particular paragraph could be applied to, well, any MC from this sort of story. You'll know when you get to it.

Style:

Hmmmm, this one threads the line of good and slightly annoying, to be brutally honest. I love the author's wording, prose and vocabulary. The dry humor and excellent flow made it very readable and easy to follow, if at times deliciously complex.

What gave me pause, however, is that sometimes, particuarly in late chapters, i was faced with walls of text.
Now, these aren't page filling screens in any right, but still noticeable. It could be.much more digestable if broken up into a bit more....palateable sections.

Grammar:

Top notch. Impeccable wording, a single spelling mistake in 150 pages, and an extensive, but not too difficult vocabulary make this great.

I have no further criticism on this subject, only approval for a job well done.

Characters:

As of right now, a cast of three. Well, two and one passing encounter. Still, the cast manages to be good even with such low numbers. Dan is a complex individual. No, he doesn't have an uber tragic backstory. He's a man, while disabled for most of his life, is still soldiering on. Extensive experience in a subject isn't quickly used to fast forward make OP decision, but instead details his thought process, a fascinating thing in its own right.

He is likeable, to say the least. Competent, but without a handy dandy, right as candy solution to every single thing he faces. Instead, he focuses on preperarion and awareness, as well as careful thinking. He recognizes his own flaws and weaknesses, and works to cover them. Most of all, he's proactive, something i quite like in a character.

Sam was a welcome break from the usual all-knowing administrator, giving us, again, a fairly likable, if brutally honest character. Ray too, has been a good character, though i will abstain from going indepth as i've only seen him for a few chapters. Suffive to say, that, once again, he was a refreshing take on its own type of character/trope.

Conclusion:

Esper takes a story we've seen before, and makes something both new, thoughtful and great from it. One of the highest points of the story are the action scenes, which are phenomally well thought out and reasoned.

If you feel like you need something to give your brain a whirl, give it a go.

Just don't expect a twelve year old's self insert power fantasy. Expect quality.

Hello Mr/Mrs Author!
Truly enjoying this story thus far! The pacing (which you have mentioned a few times) in my mind, is perfect. I enjoy the MC exploring the world and questioning what he comes across. It feels to me that instead of writing the standard fare for RR, which is usually exceptionally fast-paced action-packed stories, you are writing something more akin to a classic novel. 
Please ignore peoples requests for "more stuff, fights, XP-gain & POWER" etc. The pacing is fine and suits the MC's personality perfectly.
Thanks again for taking the time to craft this wonderful story, looking forward to seeing where you take it in the future :)

Kind Regards,

B-rose

So far I've read the first 10 chapters, and I've enjoyed them.  The MC is smart and thinks things out carefully, the writing is good and the action is decent.  It's still too soon to judge the plot, but what I've seen so far is good.  Don't recall much if any typos.

The overall setup seems to be the typical early stages of Earth being intoduced into a System, with RPG elements, leveling up, monsters, etc.  The MC is one of the early adopters/testees of the System, but not by his choice.

One possible negative (for some readers) is that so far it has all been just the MC, plus System elements.  No other people.  I don't mind that, but if you like lots of character interactions, none so far.  I'd be a bit surprised if it stays that way, but it doesn't seem like a priority so far.  I marked the character score down a little because of this, but it's still 4 stars because I do like the MC.  The story is also 4 stars, because I just haven't seen enough yet to tell if it deserves more.

The only other reason to dislike this story I can think of is if you dislike smart MCs.  Not a shounen type at all, he's fully an adult.  Not a stodgy adult, he's familiar with RPGs & such.

This is my 2nd review on this site, so feel free not to give my opinion too much weight.  But this seems like a good story to follow, and I have moderately high hopes going forward.

I just happened on this story today when I got desperate for entertainment. My only criticism so far is that the cover plus title made me think this story was sci fi. It is not. It is a (so far) wonderful contemporary system litrpg. Early days yet but so far would heartily recommend.

 I like that the main character plans out things without randomly making choices.  Decent pacing while balancing action and world/character building.  Would recommend as it's better than most of the new litrpgs on this site.

Overall this novel draws on the established ideas presented by other RRL litrpgs, especially Genesis System and the better aspects of Randidly Ghosthound (Though the stupid ones seem to be discarded thus far and no random pov jumping has occured either which is a relief)

it also draws on aspects of The New World and with all of these disparate threads ties them all into a beautiful tapestry of potential and promise. Its small so far but the ideas, character & characters are there far and beyond what most writers (myself included are capable of) There is much more I could say but instead I will say this, read it for yourself and enjoy.

For A/N if you read this, your style is unique but lends itself to flaws that need to be ironed out or reworded to make better sense for the average reader. I am not asking for change, merely stating that some parts could use polish as with any and all stories. A decent PR or editor would curb most of those problems going forward. Either way, I'm loving the story perceived small flaws and all. : )

Nice start overall, with some very interesting ideas, twists to the usual tropes, and likeable characters (only 3 characters have appeared in this story at the time of my review)

The best part about this story is the MC, and i do really like him! He is very intelligently written, and that does reflect in his actions and thought-process. He takes a rather cautious, rational approach to things instead of rushing in the danger. He is not without emotions or feelings, even if they can hold him back at times. For example he has a well developed sense of morals, that he kills when required, but never actually enjoys the act of doing so.

The setting is just another Earth gets intregated in a system one, but there are some twists on that, which make this story much better. For example theres the MC getting transferred to another world to gain power there. Overall the system is well constructed, but nothing expectional.

The grammar in this story poses absolutely no problems for readers, there are barely any, if there are even some, typo's to be spotted, the wording could use some work in some sentences, but its a small problem.

By far the largest problem this story has is its style, personally i dont find the slower pacing this story has to be a problem, but sadly thats combined with the fact that the author writes in a overly descriptive way, with a lot of unnecessary details, this does really bog down the story and make it less enjoyable. A major amount of said unnecessary could be removed, and it barely would affect the coherence of this story.

While it is not all that bad as it may seem, i can still sort of enjoy it, i can see this style posing a major problem to many readers, to the point of them getting turned off from this story. I honestly suggest the author to work on his writing style, so this problem can be fixed.

I really want to like this story more, but as long as the style remains a problem with this story, i sadly cannot rate this higher. Still a very good story for a beginning author and absolutely a story i could recommend, to those who can get over the overly wordy style the author uses.

Originality and flow have been sacrificed on the altar of verbosity in this fiction. Things that should take lines, take up paragraphs. Things that should take paragraphs require pages. Some reviews praise the action, how clear it is, how eminently easy to visualise. I say, it is the author shoving paragraphs down your throat. There is no room for your own mind to bring up images when every twitch of the character is described... Only in one instance was there some detraction from this... The fireball scene. Nothing special but better than the rest.

But action scenes aren't the worst offenders. That would be the magnanimous amount of redundant delving we are made to do into the mind of the MC. It totally alienates me from the character.

Let me present an analogy: How would you go about learning a new language? From the alphabet right? 

In terms of characterization, that would be the actions of the MC... show me how he acts in various situations... then when I have a grasp of his general persona, I won't mind a peep into his mind once in a while.

Instead, we are dropped right in the middle of the Shakespearean sonnet of his thoughts from chapter one without any inkling of the alphabet.

Then again, it does seem to have an audience... It is not for me though and if you are reading this, I hope it helps you decide whether to read or avoid.

And to the author: anyone with over a hundred pages under their belt is worthy of respect. Keep it up.

The details are too much that it kills the story, it's ok if it's given a couple of times but in this story it's given in every place possible, it's not that i hate details but in this story it's too much that it's a pain to continue to read. 

You like if the MC isnt stupid but unlucky or lucky enough to get transported in another world with extraordinary powers..

Then you are at home here.

It doesnt have much for now in sense of plot except the obvious but it doesnt need to.

It is a nice, clear story with a sense of humor and a good system.

I recommend it.