Metal and Magic

by Jemima

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Female Lead High Fantasy Magic Secret Identity Steampunk Supernatural War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

 

Candle Enys is a lost cause; at least that's what her parents tell her. Her blue eyes are abnormal, proof she doesn't have a soul. But when she becomes the target of a demon's wrath, it's her eyes that save her life.

Metal and Magic is a dark fantasy with magic, guns, and dragons

 

Many thanks to Mecanimus, T K Marfether, S P Harris, Savane and Ivactheseeker for all the support, emotionally and gramatically! 

Discord

If anyone wants to talk about Metal and Magic, Night Nation or anything really, come and chat on Discord. 

My website and mailing list (if you want to know when I publish the properly edited version of arc 1 on Amazon):  https://www.moonseedcollective.com/hesketh-join

 

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Jemima

Jemima

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue: Candle (Edit) ago
Chapter 1: Spirits and Shadows ago
Chapter 2: Air and Mountain ago
Chapter 3: Shades and Monsters ago
Chapter 4: Crime and Punishment ago
Chapter 5: Drizzle and Devotion ago
Chapter 6: Blood and Ashes ago
Chapter 7: Hide and Seek ago
Chapter 8: Fight and Flight ago
Chapter 9: Mice and Men ago
Chapter 10: Once and Future ago
Chapter 11: Ambush and Airship ago
Chapter 12: Pan and Fire ago
Chapter 13: Wolf and Sheep ago
Chapter 14: Highways and Byways ago
Chapter 15: Confessions and Confluence ago
Chapter 16: Treachery and Temperance ago
Chapter 17: Violence and Visitation ago
Chapter 18: Camouflage and Camaraderie ago
Chapter 19: Exploration and Enchantments ago
Chapter 20: Teurek and Training ago
Chapter 21: Exorcism and Evasion ago
Chapter 22: Relatives and Revelations ago
Chapter 23: Revenants and Bindings ago
Chapter 24: Fighting and Fratricide ago
Chapter 25: Ruin and Restoration ago
Chapter 26: Best Laid Schemes ago
Chapter 27: Doom and Devastation ago
Chapter 28: Parley and Parlance ago
Chapter 29: Rage and Restitution ago
Chapter 30: She Will Have Blood ago
Chapter 31: Trials and Tribulations ago
Chapter 32: Sea and Serpent ago
Chapter 33: Elephants and Evasions ago
Chapter 34: Ancestry and Inferno ago
Chapter 35: Winter Interlude ago
Chapter 36: Spies and Lies ago
Chapter 37: Regrets and Recriminations ago
Chapter 38: Blood and Brine ago
Chapter 39: Descendants and Dissever ago
Chapter 40: Ebb and Flow - Edited ago
Chapter 41: The Death of Innocence ago
Chapter 42: The Devil You Know ago
Chapter 43: The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea ago
Chapter 44: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow ago
Chapter 45: Smiles and Daggers ago
Chapter 46: To the Waters and the Wild ago
Chapter 47: Jotham the Tourist ago
Chapter 48: Turning and Turning ago
Chapter 49: In Death's Other Kingdom ago
Chapter 50: Metal vs Magic ago
Chapter 51: What the Thunder Said ago
Night Nation 1: Gates and Guardians ago
Night Nation 2: Night Nation ago
Night Nation 3: Long Shadows ago
Night Nation 4: Wolf By the Ears ago
Night Nation 5: Dead Ends and New Friends ago
Night Nation 6: Descend Lower, Descend Only ago
Night Nation 7: Zephi ago
Night Nation 8: When the Fox Hears the Rabbit ago
Night Nation 9: Madness Reigns In the Hall ago
Night Nation 10: The Mind is a Universe ago

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Mecanimus
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A true fantasy story set in an original world

I write this review as of chapter 30. Metal and Magix is a rarity on RRL in the sense that it reads and is structured like a book, and a pretty good one at that. The story follows "Candle" Enys, the daughter of conservative local nobility in a small vilage. Her blue eyes and lack of magic make her an outsider and an embarrassment. We follow her story as she tries to find her place in a world threatened by a looming crisis.

 

Style: clean, seamless and beautiful. The descriptions are really well done. I would say it's close to professional level if not already there.

Grammar: perfect, but I dropped a star because of a few typos. Nothing that a little bit of editing won't correct. It doesn't ruin the immersion.

Story score: I would say that it starts a bit slow, but at the same time the world building is simply insane. I am talking about Tolkien levels here. There is a social structure, a deep magic system, different people with different cultures etc... and it's all introduced progressively so as not to interrupt the narration.

 

Characters: brilliant. The characters are fleshed out and believable, even the secondary ones. The author manages to show their personalities in a handful of words and every signle one of them has depth and secrets we want to uncover.

 

Verdict: Metal and Magic is a good Fantasy book and should be enjoyed as such. If you liked the Wheel of Time or anything from Raymond Feist, you will enjoy it a lot. I can only recommend that you add it to your "followed" list.

T K Marfether
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There are few stories I continue to read through, and fewer still I read in one sitting. Metal and Magic has glued my eyes to its wondrous pages from the beginning, I was unable to eat or sleep until I read to the last update. Candle is grippingly real and her journey takes you through unexpected places filled with wights, demons, and the worst of all... family. It is masterfully crafted, from the detail in the world to the depth in the characters, all of it adding to the main character’s quest for self discovery and freedom from her antagonists. A story worth losing sleep over. 

For a more indepth review:

Let’s begin with the worst: The plot at the beginning is, admittedly slow, and it took finishing the second chapter to get me hooked. There are a few grammar mistakes sprinkled here and there, but that’s an editing fix and does not distract from the story. And... that’s it.

The good: Once the story gets going, it really gets going. The characters are introduced with enough information to know what’s happening without it being too overbearing or overwhelming. The magic system is tied to the culture and the people and has developed differently based on its base users, which is something phenomenal, really, and adds to the immersion. They style and the prose are truly beautiful, with the scenes coming to life in captivating detail to where I can picture the entire town of Hanternos perfectly. And finally the supporting characters come off as honest and earnest that gives them more depth than the check out clerk at my grocery, and admittedly even some of my friends. 

Take away: If you have the time, read it. Read it all and come back for the updates.



YesorNo
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Great addition to an under-represented genre

Horror has very few good titles to its name, here at RR. And those that are there are tempered with humor or meta tropes and litrpg elements.

Now this... this is unadulterated stuff. The mystical atmosphere is there as is a pervasive sense of despair. All contrasted against a scientific civilization we can identify with - just in the role of the invaders instead of the invaded as is the case for most apocalyptic fictions.

The only other fiction that comes close on RR is Couplet... and in terms of published works: The Old Kingdom  series by Garth Nix.

Definitely  a must read if you like metal and magic.

MrHrulgin
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Without getting into spoilerish details:

It's well written and has either a writer with good English skills or a good editor. The worldbuilding and magic are novel, and develop over time as opposed to being dumped on us at the beginning. The characters are well rounded, and even the side characters with small parts are distinct without feeling like caricatures. It starts strong and stays strong. This deserves proper publication and distribution.

TaoBio
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I’m loving the world building and story. Grammar is good and any mistakes there are don’t bother me. It’s a shame that this story has been out for months and hasn’t gotten the attention it deserves so I’m writing a review and I’ve never bothered to write one before so I‘m typing this to help support the story since I’m enjoying it so much.

Gentledragon
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Great! And not generic at all.

Baed on the title you might think this is a standard fantasy novel attempt on royalroad but it's really not. For starters, the quality of the writing, worldbuilding, characters and pacing is all top notch by royalroad standards, and I can't honestly tell much of a difference from a published work.

Secondly, and maybe more importantly, the magic system and world is actually interesting. This novel more resembles Sabriel or Codex Alera in that the world is populated with various creatures incorporeal and corporeal that we don't know much about, and the magic system seems inextricably linked with them. There's also this interesting ancestor cult thing going on, which also seems related with the magic system. The author also does a really good job at building suspense and danger in this first arc, and charcter motives, at least for right now, remain nebulous and interesting.

Overall so far I'd say this work is as good as gets on royal road and I'd highly recommend it. (So far ;p)

ronrironin
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Like A New Tad Williams’

Read what’s on the tin, I love this story. Real slow buildup, even now 37 chapters in and there are only tidbits here and there for the world building (in a good way: the world seems solid, the author just hasn’t spoon fed the readers with it). Even the smallest threats seem dangerous to a character who clearly has a unique ability, but not one lending her help in combat (yet).

So like I say, it reminds me of classic High Fantasy, specifically a Tad Williams’ story. Not quite as refined, the grammar needs help in places and the flow sometimes come off stilted, but I am really enjoying it.

Ben Ornau
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I just finish the chapter 37

There is no perfect story so a 5 star rating is kind of weird but Candle's adventure deserve to be put in the highest sphere of Royal Road, next to Mother of Learning.

There is so many things to love about the story.

The characters are great. Candle is not helplessly naive or coldly smart but a very balance character and you can fell how much she is going to grow through the story.
The side characters have the same quality of being balance. They are not comically evil or eyes-rolling good (I know it's not a real expression). At the beginning of the story I especially like the way the sister is describe and the fact that she is not a living cliche of the loving sister. Her affection seems real but not absolute in the face of social pressure or her own happiness. The writing doesn't force judgment on the characters and present them in the context of their world.

It's another quality of the narration, the comintment to the world where the story take place. In a way, the story is told like if we already knew the lore and we learn what it is about organicly. The social order, the magic, the politic ... you guess a lot at the beginning (which is intriguing without being frustating) and little by little you learn more through the way the story go. Not once the author decide to bend her way and drop a little info-dump to help the story and it's impressive (that why I talk about commintment). Especially because I guess it's harder for her to write that way without losing the reader.
This way of building the story kind of it remind me the Royal Assassin. But Metal & Magic is way more generous in magic ;-).

The writing is very good and I don't think somebody will have much to say against it. I appreciate the choice of certain word to less "modern" or "popular" synonym, it's particpating to the unique mood of the story.

The story although took a lot of unexcepted turn since the beginning, none of them are incomprehensible but they will surprise you if you read it like you read other Royal Road story. Not being able to predict where the story is going is very exciting.

Anyway, the story is good and you should read it.

The only bad point I could argue is how the chapters are split. They were few cliffhanger that had could been very frustating if the next chapter hadn't be available. The lenght and the content of the chapters are not bad but because of the way the story is read it's sometimes felt short. It's more of a feeling than a criticism.

Althought the title. The author doesn't seem closed to change it and it's true that Metal & Magic is not very original, even if it's kind of accurate. I don't say it's a bad title but a story of this quality and ambition deserve a much better one.

Now, stop reading my comment full of mistake and use your eyes to read Jemima's work, it's amazing.

Jarthon
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This is one of royal road's gems. You know the ones. They pass by, unnoticed but by the canny few, and then one day they apear on the trending list and suddenly others like me can read. We can read and understand just how much passon and craft has gone into makeing this work of art. Well worth a read in my opionion. Even if it doesn't seem like you're type of thing, you may find yorself suprized.

Qanelar
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NOT amateur writing.

Belivable characters, a story thats not self explanatory but lets you taste the world she lives in. Good all around worldbuilding. Magic system has a flavor of the old suspicious tales told by old religious/witchcraft belives.

Creepy, yet a quite solid story

Good grammar, good storyline.

This is not my cup of tea, at all, yet i find myself unable to stop reading. Very much deserve a 5/5.