The Outer Sphere

by Macronomicon

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Sci-fi LitRPG Magic Male Lead Multiple Lead Characters Strategy
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Garth Daniels is a down on his luck handyman in a quiet little town in the middle of America when our universe is co-opted into a war between an unstoppable race of reality-hopping monsters that feeds on the flesh of living creatures, and a conglomeration of thousands of realities, nested inside each other like a matroska doll.

We're the new layer.

These monsters, the Kipling, can only be defeated in a reality with very specific physics, otherwise they are unstoppable, and so earth's universe has been assimilated to give us a fighting chance.

Garth must set aside everything that he knows, and think fast to adapt to the new laws of nature if he wants to survive.

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  • Pages :
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Macronomicon

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SosadhScath
  • Overall Score

A Spiritual Successor to the Great Tower

The first chapter or two start off a bit shaky in terms of style, but gets going pretty quick afterwards.

The gibbering insanity, entrenched economic powers and pleasant interactions with natives strongly remind me of the Great Tower, which is a very good comparison.  One of my new favorites, and the update speed is looking good.

 

if you need an editor, let me know.

Heeiman
  • Overall Score

I've read all chapters that have been released so far (up to 30) and quite like this story. It's interesting because it's a bit different from most other stories here on RR. The author makes some choices that makes for interesting reading. I like the main character. He isn't a mary sue, "evil" (I often find evil comes off as stupid in stories on RR, like punch your nose to spite your face kind of stupid), or an idiot. In fact, the MC seems quite normal and smart. 

I found the one sex scene (so far) to be quite... lackluster? I don't know really, I just wasn't feeling it. It's not easy to set the right mood for a sex scene in a story. Just look at published authors like Michael-Scott Earle, J.A. Cipriano or Blaise Corvin for examples of failure. I recommend that the author of this story read chapters and sex scenes from authors like A.J Markham, Randi Darren (William D. Arand) or maybe Archibald Bradford. Otherwise a "fade to black" might be better.

Anyhow, if you're looking for something new to read thats on the level of Daedalus (ish) if you've read that then look no further. 

 

4/5 stars. Room for improvement but enjoyable!

DroneMilk
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

It aint perfect, but its pretty damn good.

Ok, let's start with style cause its the first one in the box thingie.

Starts off a little shaky not gonna lie. There's a little weird transition before the story really gets going. But once it gets going it really gets going, the author finds his sea-legs really fast and even the 'shaky' part is better than 90% of the crap on this site. The author has a really good grasp of the 'show don't tell' rule, I can't remember ever being told about a character except in one place where a species trait is discussed.

 

(However, the character of the species in question continuously makes choices in line with the stated characteristic so even without the description it's obvious). Nothing seems contrived or plot-armoury, the MC is no god-in-5-chapters and honestly not even really that 'strong' even now. It has, quite frankly, amazing pacing in my opinion. All the chapters have meaning and aren't just padding but the author understands that 'meaning' doesn't mean 'give MC a new OP ability every chapter'. yea style is great after like...chapter 2? 3ish? not a problem AT ALL

Next up is the....story.

Okey-doke the story kicks ass, its great. The setting, the way shit works and how its put together just...makes sense y'know? You ever read a story where the first thing that happens is, and I damn near almost quote, "MC fell into a spatial rift and magically fused with the seventh taigam buttplug of power, complete with an AI system. He's also a master of every magic". Gets old fast huh? Yea this isn't that at all. Everything that happens has reasons, there's no "Huh, that was really fuckin lucky" moments. Like, sure, SOMETIMES the MC gets lucky, but its always believable luck, like finding a penny, not winning 6 lotteries in all the states. I mentioned this in style but in retrospect, it should be here, the pacing is fabulous. There're no wasted chapters here, every paragraph has a clear purpose and is mostly fluff free. You won't find people talking about their "Silky chocolate hair, almond-shaped eyes with a small smattering of freckles, she uses listerene grape flavour and has a mole on her left tit" yea none of that shit. You won't be enlightened to the colour of the MCs' taint anytime soon. It's just solid, read the damn book.

NEXT....Grammar.

Didn't notice anything wrong and the authors a cool guy so would prolly fix it if you found something. 'Nuff said.

AAAAnnnddd...now the Characters!

The characters are my personal 'most important' part of a fiction. And I am pleased to announce that these characters are really good! They all have unique and pretty fleshed out personalities and I have never seen any of them get possessed by the spirit of plot convenience even once. They act like ACTUAL PEOPLE which is fucking rare on this site. The MC is not some naive 'gotta free all da slaves and adds to my harem that I'll never fuck cause I'm a fuckin tool' he's a pretty good guy but he's smart. I cannot state this enough, the MC is smart. The reason I'm so happy about this is that the author knows how to write smart people. Most of the authors on this site handle smart characters either by making them nigh-omniscient or by having them dumb as a rock until the plot needs them to decipher some aliens porno mag. This MC has got his shit together, he's no Sherlock Holmes but he can plan ahead and take steps to achieve his goals in a logical manner. Which brings me to my final point about the characters and another thing I love. The characters are proactive characters and not reactive characters. Now, you might ask: "What the fuck are you on about drone? I ain't buying your exfoliating scrub, get that weak MLM outta here!" Yea I hear you people but let me explain what I mean. The MC and the side characters DO THINGS that have EFFECTS. How many MCs have you read about who just react to shit? He killed my father! The maiden is in danger! A problem, I must fix it!, yea this MC has like a proper goal for his life. It's not fancy or elaborate, and it could maybe use a little bit more explanation, but he HAS SOMETHING. He doesn't just react to events, he MAKES EVENTS HAPPEN. For example, with a reactive MC the story might go: "A screaming woman runs into the MC out of an alley, this leads to the MC eventually taking down the criminal underbelly." whereas a proactive Mc story might go: "The MC rides up to the city with a stolen tablet under his cloak. For a couple of hours, he probes the patrons of a shady bar for information on who he might sell his stolen tablet to. After a couple deals with the shady organisation, he discovers a secret slave trade! The MC destroyed the organisation." Big difference see? In one the plot only moved forward by a freak moment of luck, in the other, the plot moved forward because of the MCs decision. I'm firmly in the camp that proactive characters are way better.

Finally...

Yea, there's no section for this but I feel it's important. The author is really friendly and totally open to criticism and new cool ideas you have. He usually responds to comments pretty quick and I feel thats pretty cool. A lot of authors might get a bit pissy if you try to give ideas, and I get it, it can be annoying. But I've personally put like 3 great walls of text in this dudes comments and he's cool with it.

4.5/5 Definately recommended.