Settlement of Safehaven - A Hearthtree Series

by R E Trumble

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Sci-fi Dungeon GameLit High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Mythos Ruling Class Strategy Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content


"Welcome to the ECS Asgard, your ride through the stars to your new home-"

Or so goes the sales spiel of this one of four and first-produced colonization ship, a spiel meant to placate the portions of humanity who would be selected for such a journey through the stars.

It was meant to be a simple thing; people would sleep in hibernation or stasis, to experience their lives within the virtual reality world which kept their minds occupied. The virtual world was meant to simulate a fantasy world of Viking or Roman lore.

But not all with this virtual world was fine; nor were the humans who were selected for its maiden and only voyage. One colonist lost everything dear to him, but through his pain and torment, he gained the attention of the colony ship's AI.

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teitoku
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And what, pray tell, *is* a steppes dwarf?

Overall, I would have liked to have given a higher "overall" score; the grammar is what holds it back. But, having talked to the author in PM for many weeks, I get a sense of who he is behind the author's facade. This is an interesting story, no doubt, even with a few grammar and style issues.


First of the "advanced review" aspects. Grammar is the most noticeable, in the occasional extra or missing quote mark, and a missing word here or there. It's not so blatantly annoying (at least not for me) because again I've come to know the author, in how the hearing/accessibility issues matched to the sometimes wonky text to speech and speech to text transitions don't get fully handled as one hopes. The grammar part (up to around chapter 19 where I left off) can always use more.

Story is a 4 out of 5, always has a bit of room for improvement, but I will not fault it. According to PMs, R E Trumble is making character sheets, settlement sheets, and other data sheets to organize the in story details. Always a good thing for an author to have, even if the story doesn't hit the high notes of a Game/Lit/RPG(ish) story. I look forward to see how this bears out within the story itself.

Characters and characterizations. At the very least, a 3 out of 5, but I bumped this to a solid 4 because of where I see some of the characters and plotting could go here. Early on, the main character Jack choses a "steppes dwarf" as his character race, and it's explained just a small bit so it kinda makes sense. But in story, this could be further pointed out -- if a guy goes so far as to specify the race which has bearing on everything he'll do in the story, maybe this could be brough front and center once in a while, why this race forms his actions as it does? I do really look forward to seeing the future chapters bear out a fun tale.

Style is the median score, an average 3.5 of 5; it is neither too much nor too little. Even so, the style of the story could still improve to beyond a 4 of 5 -- just keep touching occasionally on the little details (Viking culture as a basis for the VR world) and more.


Now back to the OVERALL score. I certainly would love to give it a higher score; but the grammar and punctuation may still need to be given attention, before publishing. For all this, I would never drop it down to a 3 of 5 -- it deserves a 3.5 if not 4 rating. In my humble opinion....

Roarro
  • Overall Score

Very good story for fans of settlement/city building. Grammar is proper(not always but author is editing and fixing stuff). Buildup is slow and kinda realistic,MC grows and learns. Very enjoyable read for me.

whoever
  • Overall Score

Quite inconsistent quality

It's quite hard to assign this story an overall score. The quality differs a lot between the chapters. The story itself has caught me quite early, but while some chapters are quite addicting, others are hardly readable. Sometimes grammer is quite an issue. But even the story itself has very different levels of quality. Sometimes very fun to read. Sometimes a garbled mess making no sense at all.

Overall it feels like the story has much potential, but it just is not materializing.

demion
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bad grammar, but potential

I had to stop reading because of the bad grammar and some jumps in the story... you should get an editor. would like to continue after some proofreading has been done!

the background of Jack and the little bit of worldbuilding so far sounds interesting