Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Female Lead Gender Bender Magic School Life Slice of Life Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

 

A different Reality. A new Life. A chance to be free

Zack Pascal, an intresting end to his story. But an abrupt continuation into a new one.

As he enters a new reality filled with magic, competition and adventures. He will have to continue his life in a drastically different manner.

He isn't a wimp nor is he an idiot, he will do what it takes to continue living life while discovering new adventures and solving past mysteries.

obscurum per obscurius

 

Warning: Gender bender, Chapter length only 500 to 1000,

A:N : I like having chats in my comment sections, probably a chapter every 2 days, the first 17 chapters are less worldbuilding and magic, more social interactions. So bear with me. Beautiful MC, Strong MC, quite straight forward MC.

 

 

 

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  • Style Score
  • Story Score
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Author
eagle_360

eagle_360

Angels with shotguns

Achievements
I Am Ascending (IV)
Toplist #2000
Group Leader (III)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 : The start ago
Chapter 2 : The explosion ago
Chapter 3 : Waking up to a new body ago
Chapter 4 : New world, New body ago
Chapter 5 : Simon? ago
Chapter 6 : The day after ago
Chapter 7 : The exam ago
Chapter 8 : School choices ago
Chapter 9 : Mom... ago
Chapter 10 : The mall ago
Chapter 11 : Light ago
Chapter 12 : Nothing happened ago
Chapter 13 : A letter ago
Chapter 14 : Angelwood ago
Chapter 15: School day ago
Chapter 16 : Notes ago
Chapter 17: Magic ago
Chapter 18 : Second magic ago
Chapter 19: Woah ago
Chapter 20 : Tranquil ago
Chapter 21 : Monster breach ago
Chapter 22 : Back to school ago
Chapter 23 : A letter... ago
Chapter 24 : Useless in a fight ago
Chapter 25-27 ago
Chapter 28 : Kill ago
Chapter 29 : So much ago
Chapter 30 : Dave's house ago
Chapter 31 : Elaine the historian ago
Chapter 32 : The day after ago
Chapter 33 : Drama in the big city ago
Chapter 34 : Chilling with Dave ago
Chapter 35 : School ago
Chapter 36 : Filler ago
Chapter 37 : The principals talk ago
Chapter 38 : Torture ago
Chapter 39 : Gyno exam (18+) ago
chapter 40 : The reveal ago
Chapter 41 : Shield ago
Chapter 42 : Filler 2 ago
Chapter 43 : Cafe ago
Reviews

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Luneder
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The story has some potential however when I read it the flow is more in an outline or rough draft. Some chapters are so short that they should have been merged with other chapters. flow between chapters skips a bit too much making it feel like there is an entire chapter missing or connecting paragraphs missing.

I think what would help a lot is if a minimum word count is set for each chapter to avoid putting in random small chapters that do nothing but incread the chapter count.

I kind of get the impression you are releasing the chapter as you are completing them instead of being so many chapters ahead and when you are not finished with a chapter at the time of whatever schedule you have set you just release the incomplete chapter instead which is the wrong way to do.

The story is similar to Metaworld Chronicles which takes a lot of the originality from the story so be careful in that regard.

Mr.Anderson
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Not the strongest start but a captivating story

This will be a quick review. Overall an excellent daily read

 

Intro - The intro is done in a typical school fantasy start with an extra twist of gender bender. Yet it moves in a methodical way with a promising future. Some may lose patience at the lack of action in the first few chapters but the story progress more as we go on.

Style - Author has an overall style akin to typical novels, he stands out in his willingness to change and adapt. Listening to every comment and improving and defining his style. 

Story - It may be akin to the usual magic school action drama but it has plot structure and hints at future works. I understand the wariness of gender bender but it could easily be ignored for those who are uncomfortable with it.

Grammer - Nothing much to say except for perfect grammer, it would be great if we could find a proofreader who is willing to help.

Character - The main character has a few defining characteristics but there is also a large focus on the side characters with the option of requesting slice of life chapters that will help flesh out the characters even more.

Extras - As of the review, the author has fixed the word count to around 1500 words per daily chapter. Making the short chapters in the front of the story an early error that was immediately fixed.

Overall - The story is worth a read and a follow. The flow of chapters may be quite jagged but improves over the chapters. I hope the readers find time to follow the progression as this story would not be dropped.

I like this story

Crywolfseven
  • Overall Score

It’s got a pretty interesting start I will admit I am looking forward to seeing where the story goes from here. 

Wolfie
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  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

In desperate need of an edit.

So, amount of error per 1k (chapter) words? Usually around 30 I guess. Sometimes more. For example the first part of chapter 24 has 31 errors in 409 words.

 

It seems like the author during its (gender : other) childhood got attacked by a key-mimics mimicking shift, caps lock and dot buttons, resulting in severe trauma of all of them. So today we have a lot of missing dots and uppercases.

 

As for the setting of the story... 

Spoiler: Setting

I cannot say much regarding the story score for now, since I only survived to 24th chapter. But at least a few decisions of a few people are highly doubtfull...

 

Sure, there are novels that are worse. But I place this one with a few others to 'Unreadable due to too many errors' bag.