Enlightened Empire

Ill first state that this story is one of the best kingdom building stories on royalroad, for quite good reasons. The author has put a lot of effort into creating this story. However its not perfect and i rather really wanted to like this story more, but alas.

Corcopaca Titu Primu Pluritac, rather known as Corco, is a prince of the faraway lands of Medala, who has been exiled out of the empire to Arcavia, the land where his ancestors once came from, before they fled,  Corco finds himself lost, with no purpose, with barely any followers who went with him in his exile. Then one day, when he has lost all hope, Corco suddenly finds himself awakening with strange memories, of a foreign world called Earth, of fundamental knowledge about many major concepts, that could change civilization forever. Armed with that knowledge, Corco finds a new goal, to change his nation for the better, and eventually the world at large, but such knowledge does not suddenly make everything easy, for there are many obstacles in his path.

I rather like him as a character, even if he is by no means perfect. He is a person who honestly wants to change the livihood of his people, and even the world at large with the knowledge he got from another world. While he may have such knowledge, that does not make him overpowered, it just puts him ahead of everyone in that aspect, he still has to actively use that knowledge to his advantage, and is not afraid of sharing specific technologies as long as it does benefit him and will not backfire, Corco is also rather a traditionalist, who respects the old traditions, but is not afraid of breaking them, if they are in the way of his plans for the betterment of society. There are his many followers, some of which do follow him out of loyalty, others because of what he could achieve. Even if i like quite some of them as a character, still i feel like they could have done better, some of them fall rather flat, i just dont know why.

While Corco is set up to win, in the plot so far, it hasnt been made easy for him, with him having many enemies that he must defeat or outsmart, and at times, things take a rather unexpected turn, forcing him to change some plans. As said, im liking the fact that even through Corco has all that knowledge, it does not make him infallible at all. A decision that i like, is to make the MC not reincarnated at all, but rather a native of the world, that got the memories of a dead person of earth, this rather improves the story by leaving much of the problems that generally come with Isekai stories out of the story.

The world is simply the best part about this story, its so detailed and thought out, there are a lot of cultures and nations that are very well developed and done realistically as much as possible. Though at times i wish that some nations and cultures got explored already, but there is no doubt, that the author has plans to eventually get to those.  This story also does have cultivation elements, but they are a rather minor thing, not overwhelming like in many cultivation stories one can find, cultivators are for sure strong, but are not invicible at all, and quite costly to maintain.

The author has put a lot of research in the required topics for this story, for the MC's 'discoveries' to make actual sense. Though at times, it can be seen that the knowledge the author has gathered about those topics, is not perfect, and that does seriously show itself at times, but i consider this a rather minor issue, though it still could be improved.

Grammar is overall good enough, with there being just few errors, which are puncuation errors, wrong capitalization, missing spaces at times, all those dont feel like actual problems, but there is also the fact that at times, i felt like a sentence could have been worded better. Normally a reader should not have any problems while reading this story, since those mistakes barely do bother the reading experience.

Overall the author has a readable writing style, that does its job quite well, with a good balance of story elements. I also have barely any complaints about the pace of this story so far, its a kingdom building one, the slow pace fits well with that.

However there are sadly some major problems with it, the writing barely did hook me at all in the start, maybe this is due to me not being that interested in kingdom building, even if its one of the genre's i read. This is a big problem with book 0 and a major part of book 1, with to a lesser degree the later ones. This does not help the story at all with attracting new readers considering many want to get hooked instantly.

To add on this, book 0 is rather a additional book that the author wrote later in when he was writing book 2-3, its not fully required to read it, but it could still give a introduction to the story, even if it does not have much ongoing in it.

Overall, this is for sure a very good kingdom building story, i recommend people to atleast give it a try even if it can be boring at times. For fans of kingdom building however, they should just start reading this story, its exactly the kind of story that they want, with a normal MC.

It's well written, and I didn't have any issues with grammar. I do like the premise of the story, and the MC who uses their brains to overcome their obstacles. I am very curious what other modern knowledge the author is going to use obtain an advantage. Maybe mass production method of steel, or crucible steel? Using lead in glass production to make crystal glass? Or perhaps make guncotton? dynomite? There's a lot of cool things he can do.

Ice cream!

I want to start off by saying that I think it isn't a bad fiction or anything, just not a good one either. I'll be giving my opinion linked to my scoring on the various aspects of the story and trying to explain what I disliked, liked and think should change.

Disclaimer: I have only read till chapter 29

Grammar:

By far the easiest criterium to judge. The grammar is great. It's not perfect, as there are small mistakes every once in a while, but it is more than good enough and doesn't bother me. The grammar is miles ahead of most fictions on this site and it's honestly the best part of this fiction.

Style:

I'm never quite sure how to interpret the 'style' criterium. To me the 'style' is the writing style, which would be pretty much a mix of both the substance and manner of writing. The style in general isn't all that bad. It's nothing to write home about, but you can easily follow what is being said by who without confusion, something not every story is capable of. What irks me however is something that can be found in the title of the review 'It reads like a journal rather than a book'. It doesn't read like a (decent) work of fiction. It just doesn't have the substance. There's barely any world building, the characters are flat, surroundings are barely described, etc. It just feels like you're being given a brief, undetailed tour of someone's life. This may have been done on purpose, but it honestly isn't my cup of tea. The timeskips are also a 'style' point that I really dislike. A bit of timeskip isn't a problem, but almost every chapter has one. You could have literally told an entire story in the timespan of all the timeskips that happened. We barely see any expansion on the world, the day-to-day, the characters, interactions, etc., but any moment that could be used for such a thing gets thrown into a timeskip. It's what makes this read like a journal. Anything that isn't 'important' gets skipped, making this an extremely fast (read: badly) paced story and makes it so that any 'details' are just glossed over.

Story:

I guess the story is okay. Exiled prince trying to make the best of his lot in life and regaining what he has lost. It's probably been done before, but it hasn't been repeated millions of times either. The biggest problem I have with the story is arguably the most important, defining part: the otherwordly memories. There doesn't seem to be any reason for the whole 'isekai'/reincarnation/memory sharing part of the story besides making the main character able to actually do the things he does. It's a huge deus ex machina that is horribly glossed over and doesn't get the attention it deserves. The main character somehow gets otherwordly knowledge out of nowhere. Why? How? What affect will it have on him? ... The answer (up to where I have read) to those questions is: No particular reason. This utterly mind-blowing otherwordly miraculous experience just happened. The how is never even mentioned and none of the characters really seem to care. Besides the chapter where the main character tells his companions about what he has been through there doesn't seem to be any attention paid to this MIRACULOUS UTTERLY SPECIAL AND ATTENTION WORTHY occurence. Effect? What effect? A guy gets a life worth of otherwordly memories and of course he doesn't change. He just assimilates the knowledge but largely stays the same. He sometimes says he changed, like being less arrogant/proud and having different values, but just takes that as normal. Your very core values changing at the drop of a hat? No cause for worries, totally normal, it's not like this could be expanded upon or anything. Honestly, the whole otherwordly knowledge gets glossed over so badly that we barely know anything about it. It just serves as a way for the main character to pull knowledge out of his ass with the explanation 'The guy with the otherwordly knowledge had just scoured wikipedia pages on applicable 'isekai' knowledge which was totally lucky for our main character'. It's just a horrible plot point and if it was possible to get rid of it, it would make this story miles better.

Characters:

The worst part of this fiction. Honestly, the characters are so flat, flat-earthers would take this fiction as their holy book should they ever read it. I've read 29 chapters and honestly can't even name the main character anymore after writing this review. That's how little I care about him. Same with his helpers. Some kind of warrior dude and an attendant? Who's also a warrior or something? Oh and also someone that's like a little brother or something... I think... There is just not enough information about the characters for me to care about them. They are all literally stereotypes. Honorable warrior, genius prince, loyal attendant and cute kid. That's literally the main characters' personalities in a nutshell and after reading 29 chapters I can't really expand upon those. You know nothing about their background. Who are these characters? How did they grow up? Do they have loved ones? Do they have ambitions besides those linked to the overarching 'help main character' story? And I don't just mean single sentence answers. the characters need to feel alive. It shouldn't be easy to just boil them down to a couple of words, but it's easy in this fiction. Does the main character even have a mother? We hear about the king, but I don't remember reading anything about a queen... Then again, I did gloss over some stuff so maybe I missed it, in that case: my bad. I'll say it again: the characters are horribly done. The whole cast, including the main character, could die and I wouldn't mind if a new character got introduced. Maybe this time we'll actually learn something about said character... I mean really, 29 chapters in and I don't even know anything about the main character's youth. He says he's small for a noble and there are hints that some kind of assassination attempt had an impact on that: please elaborate. Did the main character get targeted? Why? How? What was he doing before the attempt and how did he react aftertwards? Were any characters linked to this event? Did he get fussed over by his parents or were the royal couple more aloof? Did that impact his mentality? Did his shorter stature give him problems? Did he get bullied or was he respected? Respected only because of his blood or also for his character? These are just things I thought of literally just now while writing this review and as an author you really should've asked yourself those questions and written about them. As a writer you're supposed to make your audience care about your characters, their world and their interactions. This fiction doesn't do that at all. It's also the reason I'm dropping it: after 29 chapters I just don't care about the world, the characters or anything else related to this story.

Reminds me more of a BAEN Books novel than something on Royal Road.

Strengths: Well crafted and sympathetic characters that aren't cliches or overdone. Good worldbuilding with distinct cultures and realistic human behaviour. An engaging plot that doesn't pander to the main character. 

Flaws: A lack of foreshadowing and exposition makes some events seem to come from nowhere. Very important characters, laws or rituals just appear without any real context. For a hyper realistic novel such as ths one, the main character's immunity and complete indifference to assination is a little offputting. Assasins seem to have been made completly inept to make up for the lack of MC powers. Especially considering the existence of low powered superhumans that could kill the MC with a single punch or arrow. The existence of said cultivators is also a little odd and underdeveloped.

An interesting read. Excited to see where it goes. 

I like the characters and the story up to the point I've read. Decisions make sense, and the characters feel real. Will update the review once I have read more chapters.

Really like this genre, a bit slow at the start of book 1 and the start of book 2 but it gets better. There a some issues, do not really like some of the characters and motivation/logic at times but the overarching story and theme is good. Consider reading all of book 1 before you make a decision. I have hopes that the story will get better and that Hermit will maybe go back (in a couple years) and rewrite(re-rewrite some parts) to make it even better. Might leave a more in-depth review in the future. 

For now it's an 8/10 but for me personally(my own bias+authors release speed and the storys potential) I'm giving it a 9/10.

For those who have just found this story - I would highly recommend it. It seems that it has undergone a rewrite since it was originally posted, and having read straight from chapter 1 to chapter 174 I can without a doubt say that this is a very well put together story.

The plot is very well thought out, along with most of the characters - even many of the villans aren't just 1-dimensional people for the sake of the plot. Some characters are rather predictable in the way they act however.

I really can't flaw the writing, apart from the occasional typo or grammar mistake. 

I would highly recommend this story for anyone who likes kingdom building stories, though, I will warn that the political intrigue gets very in depth and confusing at times - although the story always finds a way of piecing together these political events in a way that ultimately makes sense.

The book itself is good, not perfect, but fun. However, Perfection is the only thing some of these morons will settle for; it seems.. Usually, when I or someone else nitpick about stuff, making something look worse than it is by using very specific words; it is mostly jealousy that drives the car.

I doubt I could make something like this. So full of small details, unique trivia. I loved enlightened empire, it’s small moments of joy, as the MC creates something new: be it a plot or an alcoholic drink. The book is however, like all things, not perfect. The main character seems to have spent years doing nothing but looking at Wikipedia pages: for no apparent reason other than a perfectionist dream. Which he never suspected as pointless since he will die. He conviniety pulls knowledge from nothing.

That said, I personally didn’t care. It’s all good if I get to see the face of that duke, when he finally gets what is coming for him. 

Alright, ending. Great work, author. I loved it! 

Good grammar

Good idea

Adds up to good potential

Look forward to seeing more.

This review is done as of Book 2 chaper 27.

     This story is flawed in many ways from the akward combination of names to the instability of the MC personality.

When i first tried to read this book i abandoned it after 4 chapters, its first name The Raven and the Snake was bad(same goes for the current name whitch is a bit better but not by much) togheter with the "Bro" personality that the MC had plus his atitude, general opinion and behavior made him feel just like a washed up collage student, this broke any kind of imersion that i had and made me quit instantly.

After the rebranding i started to read again this time without knowing that this was a book that i abandoned and the prequel that i started with felt...acceptable.Some bad pacing here and there, the lack of meaningfull intrigue and the overusage of modern tech, procces, learning and mentality again broke imersion but the familiar western setting togheter with boredom made me stick with it. Unfortuanetly the time skiping and the ending that was cut short due to the constraints of book 1 reduced the overall score by a big margin.

Going in to book 1 i started to realize that i previosly abandoned this book and it was the same mess even with rebranding and the modified content. Nevertheless i continued and found that the by the middle of book 1 that everything was going quite well the intrigue was decent and the overall usage of future tech was mild at best, the mc still had the same bro personality and was still impulsive A BIG CHANGE FROM THE PREQUEL PERSONALITY which was pacient and cunning. Unfortuanetly the ending of book 1 was a disaster, and not the story ending(that was decent but an obvious try a making the story longer) but the writing itself, will not go into details due to posible spoilers but sufficiently lets say that the pacing was off the decision was not the MCs(minor spoiler) and overall it felt of and jammed in.

Going into book 2 everything starts to go bad starting with the overindulgence in future tech and unrealistic goals. Some techs are not properly researched by the author and the idea that trade can make you money hand over fist instantly toghether with the overexpansion of ideas/plans ruins all imersion and kill the mood.

Luckly there are still seeds of chaos and intrigue that help propel the story forwards so it is still worth reading if you are a fan of the genre.

Overall the story feels like a power trip of a fledgling author and I strongly recommend caution and reduction in modern tech/ideas and change in MC personality to that of a fledgling ruler and not that of a bro.