Enlightened Empire

by Sociable Hermit

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Low Fantasy Male Lead Martial Arts Reincarnation Ruling Class Strategy War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

A prince sent into exile, without the means to fight back.

A young man trapped in an unfair world, without the status to bring about change.

Combined, they will have both means and status.

Armed with advanced knowledge from a strange world, will Prince Corco be able to cut through the injustice, regain his birthright and turn the country of his ancestors into a paradise of true peace, equality and prosperity?

"Okay, first step: Let's make some Brandy."

...that's a maybe then.

 

Author's note: I love the idea of kingdom-building novels and think the genre has a lot to offer, but I don't think many authors do them very well. Here is my attempt. The novel has a strong focus on politics and kingdom building, with occasional action and a bit of humor. Have fun.

 

Cover was made by MrZombie

 

Updates three times a week.

 

My discord server, come hang out: https://discord.gg/2N7qzcy

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Sociable Hermit

Sociable Hermit

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Maps and Illustrations ago
Prologue ago
Chapter 1 - A Dilemma ago
Chapter 2 - Alchemist Bombasticus ago
Chapter 3 - First Experiment ago
Chapter 4 - The Smell of Hope ago
Chapter 5 - Their Respective Plans ago
Chapter 6 - Marketing ago
Chapter 7 - Second Product ago
Chapter 8 - Cultivation ago
Chapter 9 - Fake Seer, Fake Physician ago
Chapter 10 - Safety Net ago
Chapter 11 - Business Partners ago
Chapter 12 - First Major Haul ago
Chapter 13 - Inventions ago
Chapter 14 - Matters of Faith ago
Chapter 15 - Prey ago
Chapter 16 - Three Captains ago
Chapter 17 - New Era ago
Chapter 18 - A Man of Few Words ago
Chapter 19 - Faith and Greed ago
Chapter 20 - Modern Siege Tactics ago
Chapter 21 - Manufactured Morale ago
Chapter 22 - Fallibility ago
Chapter 23 - Peace Offers ago
Chapter 24 - Greed and Motivation ago
Chapter 25 - Fake Pirates ago
Chapter 26 - Consequences ago
Chapter 27 - The Best Laid Plans ago
Chapter 28 - What Really Matters ago
Chapter 29 - On the Prowl ago
Chapter 30 - The Big Fish ago
Chapter 31 - Payoff ago
Chapter 32 - Talent, Success, Truth [End of Book 1] ago
Chapter 33 - A Triumphant Return [Start of Book 2: The Raven and the Snake] ago
Chapter 34 - Blue Cloth for the Funeral ago
Chapter 34.5 - Bandits ago
Chapter 35 - Unequal Negotiations ago
Chapter 36 - Distribution of Wealth ago
Chapter 37 - Allies ago
Chapter 38 - Electoral Campaign ago
Chapter 39 - Music ago
Chapter 40 - That Magnificent Beard ago
Chapter 41 - Little Bro, Let's Drink ago
Chapter 42 - A Chat in the Garden ago
Chapter 43 - Life Insurance ago
Chapter 44 - Accomplice ago
Chapter 45 - To Cancel Out the Double Negative ago
Chapter 46 - Into the Underworld ago
Chapter 47 - A Chat Between Father and Son ago
Chapter 48 - A Long Day of Work ago
Chapter 49 - Making Plans ago
Chapter 50 - Claim to the Throne ago
Chapter 51 - A Great Hero ago
Chapter 52 - Streak of Light ago
Chapter 53 - A Moment of Peace ago
Chapter 54 - The Merchant Prince ago
Chapter 55 - Beyond the Clouds ago
Chapter 56 - Stargazing Brawl ago
Chapter 57 - Fire Seeds ago
Chapter 58 - Looking Back ago
Chapter 59 - Witch Doctor's Curse ago
Chapter 60 - The Ape King's Banquet ago
Chapter 61 - How to Rule a Country ago
Chapter 62 - Going Home ago
Chapter 63 - Conspiracy ago
Chapter 64 - Collecting Pieces ago
Chapter 65 - The Final Vote ago
Chapter 66 - Resist or Submit ago
Chapter 67 - Washed Away by the Rain ago
Chapter 68 - Ancestral Assembly ago
Chapter 69 - One Down, One To Go ago
Chapter 70 - Uncovering Truths ago
Chapter 71 - Miracle ago
Chapter 72 - Rift ago
Chapter 73 - The Ancestor's Goals ago
Chapter 74 - A Reward for Good Deeds ago
Chapter 75 - Truth and Deceit ago
Chapter 76 - Dark Omens ago
Chapter 77 - Plans for the Future ago
Chapter 78 - Nobles' Assembly ago
Chapter 79 - A Duel Between Kings (Part 1) ago
Chapter 80 - A Duel Between Kings (Part2) ago
Chapter 81 - Cortege ago
Chapter 82 - His Role [End of Book 2] ago
Chapter 83 - Middle of Nowhere [Start of Book 3: Beacons in the South] ago
Chapter 84 - River King ago
Chapter 85 - Saniya ago
Chapter 86 - The Captain's Homecoming ago
Chapter 87 - Extended Family ago
Chapter 88 - Close Family ago
Chapter 89 - The Lord of Saniya ago
Chapter 90 - Smiles All Around ago
Chapter 91 - Adventurous Spirit ago
Chapter 92 - Plans Between Friends ago
Chapter 93 - Beacons ago
Chapter 94 - Gifts ago
Chapter 95 - Ronnie and Bombasticus ago
Chapter 96 - Free City ago
Chapter 97 - Standardization ago
Chapter 98 - Businessman and Lady ago
Chapter 99 - Two out of Three ago
Chapter 100 - Battle in the Mountains ago
Chapter 101 - Hope Dies Last ago
Chapter 102 - Rumors ago
Chapter 103 - Triumvirate Meeting ago
Chapter 104 - Checkup ago
Chapter 103 - Between a Rock and a Hard Place ago
Chapter 106 - Time Flies ago
Chapter 107 - Financial Troubles ago
Chapter 108 - Transit ago
Chapter 109 - Lord, Governor, King ago
Chapter 110 - Aperitif ago
Chapter 111 - Uninvited Guest ago
Chapter 112 - Hidden in Plain Sight ago
Chapter 113 - Blemishes ago
Chapter 114 - Three Kinds of Trouble ago
Chapter 115 - True Nature ago
Chapter 116 - How to Salvage a Disaster ago
Chapter 117 - Two Sides ago
Chapter 118 - Chances Missed, and Taken ago
Chapter 119 - Surrounded ago
Chapter 120 - Power Struggle ago
Chapter 121 - Mortal Danger ago
Chapter 122 - Light and Dark ago
Chapter 123 - Grand Finale ago
Chapter 124 - Perspectives ago
Chapter 125 - Opponents ago
Chapter 126 - Old Friends [End of Book 3] ago
Chapter 127 - Bandits in the Forest [Start of Book 4 - Divided, Unbroken] ago
Chapter 128 - Old and New ago
Chapter 129 - Precision ago
Chapter 130 - Recruitment ago
Chapter 131 - Secret Alliance ago
Chapter 132 - First Invention ago
Chapter 133 - Cheat Codes ago
Chapter 134 - Preparations ago
Chapter 135 - Loyalty ago
Chapter 136 - Inevitability ago
Chapter 137 - Pettiness ago
Chapter 138 - Burden ago
Chapter 139 - Weaklings ago
Chapter 140 - Opening a Path ago
Chapter 141 - Glory ago
Chapter 142 - Purpose ago
Chapter 143 - Supply and Demand ago
Chapter 144 - Unfounded Worry ago
Chapter 145 - Superstition ago
Chapter 146 - Splitting Up ago
Chapter 147 - Pessimist and Optimist ago
Chapter 148 - Change in Direction ago
Chapter 149 - Spread Thin ago
Chapter 150 - Stubborn ago
Chapter 151 - Underwater ago
Chapter 152 - Family Ties ago
Chapter 153 - Loyal or Stubborn ago
Chapter 154 - Vice ago
Chapter 155 - Travelers ago
Chapter 156 - Weather ago
Chapter 157 - Reunions ago
Chapter 158 - Turning Winds ago
Chapter 159 - Antipyretics ago
Chapter 160 - Gift ago
Chapter 161 - Plans to be Foiled ago
Chapter 162 - Plots and Plans ago
Chapter 163 - Two Meetings ago
Chapter 164 - Plans and Ploys ago
Chapter 165 - A Sacrifice for the Future ago
Chapter 166 - Conspiracy ago
Chapter 167 - The Fog Clears ago
Chapter 168 - Back Home ago
Chapter 169 - Cleanup ago
Chapter 170 - Exiles ago
Chapter 171 - Landing Operation ago
Chapter 172 - Disruption ago
Chapter 173 - Opportunists, Cowards ago
Chapter 174 - New Toys ago
Chapter 175 - Starvation Tactics ago
Chapter 176 - Chance at Glory ago
Chapter 177 - Accompaniment ago
Chapter 178 - Maybe ago
Chapter 179 - Real Enemy ago
Chapter 180 - Cold ago
Chapter 181 - Demons and Mortals ago
Chapter 182 - Surprise Visitor ago
Chapter 183 - Strategic Maneuvers ago
Chapter 184 - Breaking Out ago
Chapter 185 - Secret Deal ago
Chapter 186 - Course Correction ago
Chapter 187 - Sowing Discontent ago
Chapter 188 - Skirmish ago
Chapter 189 - Standoff ago
Chapter 190 - Charge ago
Chapter 191 - Collapse ago
Chapter 192 - Sinister Omens ago
Chapter 193 - Breaking the Siege ago
Chapter 194 - Change of Heart ago
Chapter 195 - Guerilla Tactics ago
Chapter 196 - Making the Rounds ago
Chapter 197 - Revenge ago
Chapter 198 - Final Preparations ago
Chapter 199 - Opening Gambit ago
Chapter 200 - No More Probes ago
Chapter 201 - Real War ago
Chapter 202 - Counter Offensive ago
Chapter 203 - Confrontation ago
Chapter 204 - Failed Ambition ago
Chapter 205 - Reunion ago
Chapter 206 - Forceful Negotiations (End of Book 4) ago
Chapter 207 - Trade Trouble (Beginning of Book 5) ago
Chapter 208 - Trade Trouble (Part 2) ago
Chapter 209 - Armistice ago
Chapter 210 - Always More Banquets ago
Chapter 211 - A New Era ago
Chapter 212 - Office Politics ago
Chapter 213 - Projects and Goals ago
Chapter 214 - A New World ago
Chapter 215 - Trouble in Paradise ago
Chapter 216 - Modern Transportation ago
Chapter 217 - Back to Basics ago
Chapter 218 - A Route to the Stars ago
Chapter 219 - Lessons Between Lessons ago
Chapter 220 - Overtime Work ago
Chapter 221 - Freedom and Burden ago
Chapter 222 - Please Stay Behind After Class ago
Chapter 223 - Strengthening the Alliance ago
Chapter 224 - Change in Fortune ago
Chapter 225 - Servility ago
Chapter 226 - Real Power ago
Chapter 227 - Honorable Battle ago
Chapter 228 - Beasts of War ago
Chapter 229 - Two Types of Battle ago
Chapter 230 - Hidden Smile ago
Chapter 231 - Back Again ago
Chapter 232 - Union ago
Chapter 233 - New Weaponry ago
Chapter 234 - Shadows ago
Chapter 235 - In Search of a Future ago
Update: New Chapters Coming Today (and tomorrow, and...) ago
Chapter 236 - Worthless ago
Chapter 237 - Looking Around ago
Chapter 238 - Paper, Also Worthless ago
Chapter 239 - New Business ago
Chapter 240 - Government Interference ago
Chapter 241 - Fight For Power ago
Chapter 242 - Convincing the Holdovers ago
Chapter 243 - High Politics ago
Chapter 244 - Still Searching ago
Chapter 245 - Catching Up ago
Chapter 246 - Cold War ago
Chapter 247 - No Place Like Home ago
Chapter 248 - Secret Operations ago
Chapter 249 - Meeting the Boss ago
Chapter 250 - Family Vacation ago
Chapter 251 - Setting Things in Motion ago
Chapter 252 - Infiltration ago
Chapter 253 - Opponents Far Apart ago
Chapter254 - Fire Safety ago
Chapter 255 - Breaking the Net ago

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Lord Zaika
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It's well written, and I didn't have any issues with grammar. I do like the premise of the story, and the MC who uses their brains to overcome their obstacles. I am very curious what other modern knowledge the author is going to use obtain an advantage. Maybe mass production method of steel, or crucible steel? Using lead in glass production to make crystal glass? Or perhaps make guncotton? dynomite? There's a lot of cool things he can do.

Ice cream!

Zethuron
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Great kingdom building, hard to get hooked to this

Reviewed at: Prologue

Ill first state that this story is one of the best kingdom building stories on royalroad, for quite good reasons. The author has put a lot of effort into creating this story. However its not perfect and i rather really wanted to like this story more, but alas.

Corcopaca Titu Primu Pluritac, rather known as Corco, is a prince of the faraway lands of Medala, who has been exiled out of the empire to Arcavia, the land where his ancestors once came from, before they fled,  Corco finds himself lost, with no purpose, with barely any followers who went with him in his exile. Then one day, when he has lost all hope, Corco suddenly finds himself awakening with strange memories, of a foreign world called Earth, of fundamental knowledge about many major concepts, that could change civilization forever. Armed with that knowledge, Corco finds a new goal, to change his nation for the better, and eventually the world at large, but such knowledge does not suddenly make everything easy, for there are many obstacles in his path.

I rather like him as a character, even if he is by no means perfect. He is a person who honestly wants to change the livihood of his people, and even the world at large with the knowledge he got from another world. While he may have such knowledge, that does not make him overpowered, it just puts him ahead of everyone in that aspect, he still has to actively use that knowledge to his advantage, and is not afraid of sharing specific technologies as long as it does benefit him and will not backfire, Corco is also rather a traditionalist, who respects the old traditions, but is not afraid of breaking them, if they are in the way of his plans for the betterment of society. There are his many followers, some of which do follow him out of loyalty, others because of what he could achieve. Even if i like quite some of them as a character, still i feel like they could have done better, some of them fall rather flat, i just dont know why.

While Corco is set up to win, in the plot so far, it hasnt been made easy for him, with him having many enemies that he must defeat or outsmart, and at times, things take a rather unexpected turn, forcing him to change some plans. As said, im liking the fact that even through Corco has all that knowledge, it does not make him infallible at all. A decision that i like, is to make the MC not reincarnated at all, but rather a native of the world, that got the memories of a dead person of earth, this rather improves the story by leaving much of the problems that generally come with Isekai stories out of the story.

The world is simply the best part about this story, its so detailed and thought out, there are a lot of cultures and nations that are very well developed and done realistically as much as possible. Though at times i wish that some nations and cultures got explored already, but there is no doubt, that the author has plans to eventually get to those.  This story also does have cultivation elements, but they are a rather minor thing, not overwhelming like in many cultivation stories one can find, cultivators are for sure strong, but are not invicible at all, and quite costly to maintain.

The author has put a lot of research in the required topics for this story, for the MC's 'discoveries' to make actual sense. Though at times, it can be seen that the knowledge the author has gathered about those topics, is not perfect, and that does seriously show itself at times, but i consider this a rather minor issue, though it still could be improved.

Grammar is overall good enough, with there being just few errors, which are puncuation errors, wrong capitalization, missing spaces at times, all those dont feel like actual problems, but there is also the fact that at times, i felt like a sentence could have been worded better. Normally a reader should not have any problems while reading this story, since those mistakes barely do bother the reading experience.

Overall the author has a readable writing style, that does its job quite well, with a good balance of story elements. I also have barely any complaints about the pace of this story so far, its a kingdom building one, the slow pace fits well with that.

However there are sadly some major problems with it, the writing barely did hook me at all in the start, maybe this is due to me not being that interested in kingdom building, even if its one of the genre's i read. This is a big problem with book 0 and a major part of book 1, with to a lesser degree the later ones. This does not help the story at all with attracting new readers considering many want to get hooked instantly.

To add on this, book 0 is rather a additional book that the author wrote later in when he was writing book 2-3, its not fully required to read it, but it could still give a introduction to the story, even if it does not have much ongoing in it.

Overall, this is for sure a very good kingdom building story, i recommend people to atleast give it a try even if it can be boring at times. For fans of kingdom building however, they should just start reading this story, its exactly the kind of story that they want, with a normal MC.

Mirrored
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Pretty much professional level

Reminds me more of a BAEN Books novel than something on Royal Road.

Strengths: Well crafted and sympathetic characters that aren't cliches or overdone. Good worldbuilding with distinct cultures and realistic human behaviour. An engaging plot that doesn't pander to the main character. 

Flaws: A lack of foreshadowing and exposition makes some events seem to come from nowhere. Very important characters, laws or rituals just appear without any real context. For a hyper realistic novel such as ths one, the main character's immunity and complete indifference to assination is a little offputting. Assasins seem to have been made completly inept to make up for the lack of MC powers. Especially considering the existence of low powered superhumans that could kill the MC with a single punch or arrow. The existence of said cultivators is also a little odd and underdeveloped.

An interesting read. Excited to see where it goes. 

trashe1
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Snazzy Count of Monte Cristo revenge tale with side of Kingdom building

Reviewed at: Chapter 170 - Exiles

Update: At chapter 170, still awesome, though less revengey and more kingdomy.

    This is a revenge story that bears some similarity to the Count of Monte Cristo, if the count was a bachelor exiled to a foreign country, was the crown prince of an empire, gained knowledge of the modern world through suicide, and just happened to read a list of technology that would be helpful to know for anyone reincarnating in the middle ages. TL;DR: Scroll down to  "should you read this novel?"

    I know it sounds pretty awful but the execution is amazing. Book 1's style can be tough to adapt to. Not because it is bad but because it is so well done in a not-webnovel style. This is a kingdom builder but not a kingdom-builder that features an OP protag, anime tropes, or excessive exposition. Better to imagine a revenge tale because the hardcore kingdom-building starts quite late (book 3). If you find yourself hating book 1, skip to the end of it and just read the last chapter or two; it was written as a prequel. The following books are in a more 'traditional' web novel style.

    That said, book 1 is fast paced and beautifully written. Five years pass in ~35 chapters and it is one of the best done time-skips I've ever read. While I didn't love every chapter, every chapter had a purpose and kept the story moving. It is also the least amusing of the books so people who came here expecting funnies based on the summary will be let down until Book 2. Though, by the end of it, I wanted that wonderful style to continue. It was like stepping into the Count of Monte Cristo's empire-building phase before he set out to get his revenge. Loved it.

    Book 2 transitions to a court intrigue and mystery setting. It starts off with a bang then more Stuff happens: mysterious events, tragedy, conspiracies, unexpected allies/enemies, shocking family secrets- everything you could want in a court intrigue setting. MC opens up a face-slapping booth and everyone gives him patronage. However, face-slapping is not a 1-hit KO as in other novels, those people stick around. The people are nasty, but the nastiness clearly serves a purpose on top of being nasty. Both for the novel and the character in question. 
    So far the main villains aren't unbearably stupid or mean to the point of self-destruction. They do what they do for politically motivated or monetary reasons and don't let themselves get caught in obvious traps. There are also multiple levels of smarts among both enemies and allies. The MC's ride is not perfectly smooth and he is wrong...not often but often enough to make the world seem realistic and like the MC isn't the favored child of the heavens. At ch170, he's been wrong pretty often in very character-consistent ways and some of the villains are learning. Some are comic-relief level stupid, though.

    The novel has a surprising level of cultural value in discussion of philosophy and metaphors. The metaphors are pretty awesome. They're subtle (some of them), touch on many aspects of life, and reference multiple cultural idioms that anyone who has spent time reading Chinese web novels, Western Classics, or loves world history and mythology will appreciate. Well, maybe not anyone. Someone will, I'm sure.

    Not really a negative but more just friendly warning for new readers: I do occasionally find the cultural melange to be confusing. The author borrowed aspects of many culturals and historical events to make EACH of the (several) cultures in this novel unique, and different from RL. This makes the novel both easier and harder to read. I've been confused a few times expecting rituals and cultures to match the names given, or confused by the correct usage of Occident and Orient that don't refer to RL cultures/regions.
    So don't assume cultural practices by anything other than tech level and the author's words. The author does a good job of giving any relevant cultural information you need so you can relax and go with the flow. The world the author made fits together nicely and feels both fictional and realistic in the right amounts. Author seems to have a very good grasp of what is important for immersion/plot and what is going to waste the reader's time.

    Grammar and spelling is perfect to the point I was confused by the sudden, voluminous, exposure to my native tongue. After reading a lot of web novels this was very jarring but it is so goooood. Readers familiar with web novels may be confused by things like 'shone' and 'driest' but rest assured everything in this novel is actually English! Except for the bits in Latin or French. I think there was some French. Might have been a flashback to The Three Musketeers. 
    There are some typos that affect spelling but not comprehension. Author has been good about fixing them when they are pointed out. 

    If I had to pick a weakness, it would be the characters. They're relatively underdeveloped compared to the rest of the novel's many outstanding aspects. However, for this style of writing, excessive detail in the characters would ruin it. The only way I can see improving the characters and their presentation without destroying the style would be to move to a <shakespeare/hemingway/great-short-story-author-here> level of writing. It isn't bad, they're introduced quite well, they fit the style, they're better than 90% of what is out there, but they appear to be the only place the author needs to improve. Maybe release speed...and robot hands wouldn't hurt. Bears hands might be cool but slow typing speed so I don't recommend them to authors I like.
    At chapter 170, I can say this is still the area that is the author's weakness, but it is mainly in succinctly capturing a character's persona. The author is very good at subtle changes and building up character growth over time. He doesn't spoonfeed you these things, there are a lot of little things you need to notice and interpret to understand, which makes reading it quite fun for me and others but absolutely maddening to some.

Should you read this novel? Yes. It isn't quite a masterpiece when compared to some of the world's greatest works of all time but it is one of the best things I've read, from both a literary and style standpoint, in a long while. Just be prepared for a culture shock if trashy isekai OP-protag kingdom builders is all you've been reading.

IBOOK
  • Overall Score

A wonderful book with an actually smart MC.

Reviewed at: Chapter 76 - Dark Omens

This book is a kingdom builder. Now while there are a lot of kingdom builders this takes the cake. The plot and background built into the story is amazing. Furthermore the MC is actually smart and relatable, not a uber handsome tough guy. 

Stultus
  • Overall Score

Good grammar

Good idea

Adds up to good potential

Look forward to seeing more.

Gask
  • Overall Score

Lost interest after 13 chapters

This started off well but it quickly becomes another reincarnation with a Wikipedia in his head kind of story.  I didn't mind the simple tricks like the Lyme at first but it quickly becomes clear that there is little to no plot to be had.  Instead the story focuses upon a series of inventions that are reproduced by the protagonist in order to enrich himself.

Sure, he’s being hunted by the Duke but this is never taken very seriously, in fact he could have just sailed away to avoid the problem quite easily.  But again, a mad nobleman who’s hell bent upon murdering him is treated like a mere inconvenience; to be dealt with or not at leisure.  This effectively undermines the beginning of the story and quickly led to me becoming bored.

On top of that the protagonist is able to do as he likes, more or less, as if he were operating in a vacuum.  There’s no opposition from the merchant guilds, the church or any of the usual sorts who would be jealous of his wealth and influence.  Even the local despots seem to have no interest in conscripting him into their service to profit off of him, which would be the natural course of events in this sort of society.

Perhaps things improve or perhaps the protagonist continues to pull invention after invention out of his wiki; at any rate I’ve lost interest in following along.

kingleo8
  • Overall Score

I thinks it's awesome

Don't believe me because I am sucker for Kingdom building but this is truly awesome. The MC has flaws! He has a family too! And guess what they real too!

Okay, enough jokes. The story is good with good grammar but the world building is little lacking. The whereabouts of the prince before coming back from exile is missing and honestly works like deus ex machina. Not a problem for me though but I would have appreciated some side story about it. Anyway, other characters are good and believable. 

That's all and be sure to give it a try because you will be hooked to it! 

Edit: Well the Author continues to surprise me yet again. We have the backstory now. I really never thought that the backstory would be this amazing and not only that but the Author writes this so good that I am hooked on it. I can't give you extra now though. Alright, now it's time for me to read chapter 47. 

CasualReader411
  • Overall Score

Really like this genre, a bit slow at the start of book 1 and the start of book 2 but it gets better. There a some issues, do not really like some of the characters and motivation/logic at times but the overarching story and theme is good. Consider reading all of book 1 before you make a decision. I have hopes that the story will get better and that Hermit will maybe go back (in a couple years) and rewrite(re-rewrite some parts) to make it even better. Might leave a more in-depth review in the future. 

For now it's an 8/10 but for me personally(my own bias+authors release speed and the storys potential) I'm giving it a 9/10.

 

maelos61
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Reads like a journal rather than a book

I want to start off by saying that I think it isn't a bad fiction or anything, just not a good one either. I'll be giving my opinion linked to my scoring on the various aspects of the story and trying to explain what I disliked, liked and think should change.

Disclaimer: I have only read till chapter 29

 

Grammar:

By far the easiest criterium to judge. The grammar is great. It's not perfect, as there are small mistakes every once in a while, but it is more than good enough and doesn't bother me. The grammar is miles ahead of most fictions on this site and it's honestly the best part of this fiction.

 

Style:

I'm never quite sure how to interpret the 'style' criterium. To me the 'style' is the writing style, which would be pretty much a mix of both the substance and manner of writing. The style in general isn't all that bad. It's nothing to write home about, but you can easily follow what is being said by who without confusion, something not every story is capable of. What irks me however is something that can be found in the title of the review 'It reads like a journal rather than a book'. It doesn't read like a (decent) work of fiction. It just doesn't have the substance. There's barely any world building, the characters are flat, surroundings are barely described, etc. It just feels like you're being given a brief, undetailed tour of someone's life. This may have been done on purpose, but it honestly isn't my cup of tea. The timeskips are also a 'style' point that I really dislike. A bit of timeskip isn't a problem, but almost every chapter has one. You could have literally told an entire story in the timespan of all the timeskips that happened. We barely see any expansion on the world, the day-to-day, the characters, interactions, etc., but any moment that could be used for such a thing gets thrown into a timeskip. It's what makes this read like a journal. Anything that isn't 'important' gets skipped, making this an extremely fast (read: badly) paced story and makes it so that any 'details' are just glossed over.

 

Story:

I guess the story is okay. Exiled prince trying to make the best of his lot in life and regaining what he has lost. It's probably been done before, but it hasn't been repeated millions of times either. The biggest problem I have with the story is arguably the most important, defining part: the otherwordly memories. There doesn't seem to be any reason for the whole 'isekai'/reincarnation/memory sharing part of the story besides making the main character able to actually do the things he does. It's a huge deus ex machina that is horribly glossed over and doesn't get the attention it deserves. The main character somehow gets otherwordly knowledge out of nowhere. Why? How? What affect will it have on him? ... The answer (up to where I have read) to those questions is: No particular reason. This utterly mind-blowing otherwordly miraculous experience just happened. The how is never even mentioned and none of the characters really seem to care. Besides the chapter where the main character tells his companions about what he has been through there doesn't seem to be any attention paid to this MIRACULOUS UTTERLY SPECIAL AND ATTENTION WORTHY occurence. Effect? What effect? A guy gets a life worth of otherwordly memories and of course he doesn't change. He just assimilates the knowledge but largely stays the same. He sometimes says he changed, like being less arrogant/proud and having different values, but just takes that as normal. Your very core values changing at the drop of a hat? No cause for worries, totally normal, it's not like this could be expanded upon or anything. Honestly, the whole otherwordly knowledge gets glossed over so badly that we barely know anything about it. It just serves as a way for the main character to pull knowledge out of his ass with the explanation 'The guy with the otherwordly knowledge had just scoured wikipedia pages on applicable 'isekai' knowledge which was totally lucky for our main character'. It's just a horrible plot point and if it was possible to get rid of it, it would make this story miles better.

Characters:

The worst part of this fiction. Honestly, the characters are so flat, flat-earthers would take this fiction as their holy book should they ever read it. I've read 29 chapters and honestly can't even name the main character anymore after writing this review. That's how little I care about him. Same with his helpers. Some kind of warrior dude and an attendant? Who's also a warrior or something? Oh and also someone that's like a little brother or something... I think... There is just not enough information about the characters for me to care about them. They are all literally stereotypes. Honorable warrior, genius prince, loyal attendant and cute kid. That's literally the main characters' personalities in a nutshell and after reading 29 chapters I can't really expand upon those. You know nothing about their background. Who are these characters? How did they grow up? Do they have loved ones? Do they have ambitions besides those linked to the overarching 'help main character' story? And I don't just mean single sentence answers. the characters need to feel alive. It shouldn't be easy to just boil them down to a couple of words, but it's easy in this fiction. Does the main character even have a mother? We hear about the king, but I don't remember reading anything about a queen... Then again, I did gloss over some stuff so maybe I missed it, in that case: my bad. I'll say it again: the characters are horribly done. The whole cast, including the main character, could die and I wouldn't mind if a new character got introduced. Maybe this time we'll actually learn something about said character... I mean really, 29 chapters in and I don't even know anything about the main character's youth. He says he's small for a noble and there are hints that some kind of assassination attempt had an impact on that: please elaborate. Did the main character get targeted? Why? How? What was he doing before the attempt and how did he react aftertwards? Were any characters linked to this event? Did he get fussed over by his parents or were the royal couple more aloof? Did that impact his mentality? Did his shorter stature give him problems? Did he get bullied or was he respected? Respected only because of his blood or also for his character? These are just things I thought of literally just now while writing this review and as an author you really should've asked yourself those questions and written about them. As a writer you're supposed to make your audience care about your characters, their world and their interactions. This fiction doesn't do that at all. It's also the reason I'm dropping it: after 29 chapters I just don't care about the world, the characters or anything else related to this story.