The Concubine's Tomb: A Dungeon Core novel

Written after I read up to chapter 14. This is shaping up into a superb “dungeon core” novel. The plot - while conforming to the genre - has gone well beyond the basics with excellent worldbuilding (some similarity to ancient Egypt?), harmonious foundation building and development. The various plot lines/characters are coming along in a way that suggests an excellent story structure. There is an interesting (?semidivine) “system” that the dungeon is figuring out, and hints of a well developed overall “human” magic system to be discovered.

The word usage and grammar is excellent and the structure has either been edited before uplink or else the author is exceptionally good at editing their own work.

Only 16 chapters out, and already the best dungeon story of the site.

More than the good writing and original plot, what makes a difference with others of the genre is the natural progression of the dungeon building, and that without infodumps.

The MC isn't behaving like a dungeon and with the habitual tools of a dungeon just because : he experiments with his interactions with the world like his new ingrained instincts, and the setting and its mechanics are introduced little by little when he himself works it out.

The side-chapters with other points of view are also well balanced : broadening the perspective but not stealing the show.

I am eagerly looking forward to the rest !

While chapter 2 is still part of prologue, premise is good and both writing style and character introduction fells very natural. Grammar also is suberb at least for standard of rrl.

only on cap 4 (as of this review) but so far this book is awesome in the same vein as some of the best authors on royal road like wandering inn, lazy ash and many others

I love the plot of this story so far, it's a new take on the subject. Seems like most people like the dungeon building/learning process as well. To be honest I'm not a fan of that particular aspect and prefer the old game-like menu based dungeon building style better... but that's me. Like i said though, the actual plot of story is very much worth the read. Worth mentioning as well is that the author has a very good grasp on the English language, and is most likely a native speaker. This alone make the grammar and writting style leauges better than many other stories on this site.

Oh my, this is setting up to be a fine dungeon novel so far. Chapter 9 is where I am up to but all of this is fantastic both in the mind states and the intellect of the dungeon building. 

Excellent story as of chapter 11. Story formatting and grammar are excellent, and the author definitely is not afraid of vocabulary. 

The characters are good and I can understand how our protaganist arrived at his current situation. If I had been in his place, I'd very likely end up in the same place he did. 

This is a very interesting take on the Dungeon genre. We don't have a reincarnation or person abducted by a random omnipotent being here. No it's a native of the world, empowered by a largely forgotted god to take his vengeance.

I rather like how this combination allows the dungeon to both be killy and at the same time sympathetic. Not just a butcherer of witless adventurers, but a man/crystal with a cause trying to do the best he can. Countless may yet die, but I don't think this dungeon will be a monster. More a savior for some and a doom for others.

The prologue is the best i've read of any dungeon core story. No grammar mistakes. A story flow that seems logical, a bit slow but nicely detailed.

Recommended to any fan of dungeon core stories.

This review was made after reading until chapter 20.

We've all heard the story about the king who killed the finest architect so that the bloke couldn't make something better after he served the king.

Well, introducing Anomus, the unlucky bastard in question. After designing the finest tomb this side of the golden desert Subori, the emperor said, "cool, my dead side ho will love it." and ordered Anomus killed, because the emperor is also a massive douchebag.

Luckily for Anomus, his anguish, rage and hurt feelings were enough to stir the slumber of an even bigger douchebag. This douchebag happened to be the god of night, blood and revenge. And he said to Anomus, "wow bro that guy was a douchebag. I thought it would be kind of funny if you managed to kill him, so lemme turn you into a dungeon core.

And so Anomus toils, turning wasps from god's "screw you" to god's "screw everything". Deep within the concubine's tomb, Anomus works tirelessly, with only the desert creatures and his rage for company.

Upon the emperor's throne, Irobus sits and contemplates his actions, while beside him, the priesthood gathers to silently judge his actions.

Anomus toils, Irobus ponders, the dark god watches, and unbeknownst to all, the concubine stirs...

Style

The Concubine's Tomb takes an interesting spin on your average dungeon core story, introducing an element of creativity. The main character is for one, not from our universe, and for another, completely aware of how he became a dungeon core; he made a deal with a spooky god of vengeance. The story also differs in that most dungeon core stories feature the main character unable to act freely while strangers are within the dungeon. Not so for Anomus, as he is not only able to freely control the confines of his greatest work, but even use magical blood powers to just straight-up crush people with an invisible force. Pretty gnarly.

The story does not feel like it is being told by someone living out their wish fulfillment fantasy, but instead the story reads like it's being told by someone not involved in the story's events whatsoever. The author is only present in the story so much as the chef is present in the meals he cooks. He made it, but you wold not recognise him by his labours.

Story

The story is great. Anomus is a #relatable character, because who hasn't been bent over by someone with more power than them for a petty insignificant reason before? Anomus is a man with a mission, and what's more, it feels like a righteous mission. Anomus deserves to have our support, he was brutally killed and betrayed. It's a good plot line, "local man becomes a magical spirit that feeds on death." and it's well told.

Grammar 

You guys know me by now, I wouldn't be reviewing it if it didn't have impeccable grammar. Call me the grammar-grinch, or someone who can't appreciate a diamond in the rough if you like, I prefer my stories with the oxford comma.

Characters

The characters in this are good, if a little bit simple when boiled down to their basest elements. For crying out loud, one of the characters is a bloody corpse-eating dog who just wants to be top dog. Anomus wants revenge on Irobus, Irobus wants revenge on the concubine, the concubine presumably wants revenge on someone, and the priests think Irobus is a bit up his own bum. The corpse-eating dogs want somewhere safe to live and lot's of bodies to eat, alongside revenge on the one who forced them to eat old corpses for sustenance.

But what's important about these characters is that despite their rather simple wants and desires, is that they are enjoyable and relatable. They don't have ten-thousand schemes running through their crafty minds, they just want someone dead, or something done. Anomus wants Irobus dead, Irobus wants his concubine to be dead slowly and the dark god of blood and revenge just wants a good laugh I suspect.

Overall I like the story. The characters are good, the author has good grammar and storytelling style. 4.5/5 stars, because I'm a hard prat to please.

btw if you didn't want the spoilers, i don't care. They weren't that large.