Fiddling on his phone in newly bought clothes after breakfast, Chen Hua went to his favourite pornography hub and picked his poison. Simply lazing about with nothing to do. He made sure to mute the volume so that Cheng Yu wouldn’t notice.
Watching a horrid video, a stroke of inspiration hit Chen Hua, causing him to crudely ask Cheng Yu a question. “Hey Cheng Yu, do you know the difference between kinky and perverted?”
Reading his newspaper, Cheng Yu did not respond.
Unperturbed by Cheng Yu’s lack of reaction, Chen Hua continued. “The difference lies between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird!” Clutching his sides from laughter, only Chen Hua’s laughter echoed through the house. Somehow the maids were distancing themselves further from Chen Hua than before.
Without looking up, Cheng Yu mockingly curled his lips and said, “Absolutely hilarious. Why don’t you go break a leg?”
Ouch, you’re no fun. Let’s look at something else then.
Browsing the internet on his mobile phone, it wasn’t long before Chen Hua discovered something that caught his interest. “Cheng Yu look! There’s going to be a new movie that’s being filmed with a budget of $300M USD!”
Cheng Yu indifferently flipped over to the next page of his newspaper.
Unimpressed by Cheng Yu’s lack of response, Chen Hua continued, “Starring Andy Da Pau and ‘Sesame’ Tang Yuan who had just finished filming a blockbuster film overseas.” Andy was Da Pau’s stage name, thus people would often know him as Andy Pau. But Sesame was Tang Yuan’s stage name, commonly used by foreigners. Whereas Chinese mainlanders would still call her Tang Yuan.
Initially, when Cheng Yu heard Chen Hua mentioned ‘Andy’ Da Pau, he nodded his head in approvement. Da Pau was one of the talents he had groomed after all! He knew very well what kind of personality and capabilities Da Pau had.
But when Chen Hua’s mouth spout out the words ‘Tang Yuan’, Cheng Yu’s body stiffened up, a mere mention of ‘Tang Yuan’ caused his heart to feel extremely vexed and soured his mood. An ugly expression grew on his face.
Oblivious to Cheng Yu’s sudden change in demeanour, Chen Hua continued to ramble on about the actors. “Wow that Tang Yuan really became famous even overseas when she left China! And now she’s coming back! Cheng Yu don’t you want to see Tang Yuan? Don’t you have connections? Help me get her autograph!”
“Huhu! She has great legs an ample chest and shapely hips! But with such a competitive industry I wonder what she did to get the lead role in that foreign film? I wonder if there’s a scandalous video of her online…” If there are, I’ll be sure to save it for later!
But by this point, Chen Hua’s crass words and the topic of Tang Yuan had thoroughly infuriated Cheng Yu. He then stormed up to Chen Hua and swiped his phone away from him. Unfortunately, Chen Hua had happily returned to his favourite website and was about to type Tang Yuan’s name in the search bar.
“Ah! Wait! Give that back!” Chen Hua was greatly alarmed. Back when he was younger, his mother had walked in on him watching porn. Out of embarrassment, he did not leave his room for a whole week and was constantly teased about it by his family.
But it was already too late, Cheng Yu caught an eyeful of the 1080p heart-pumping adult exercise videos. The slapping of bodies, the ridiculous number of viagra ads. Cheng Yu saw everything.
Seeing Cheng Yu frozen in shock, Chen Hua tried to defuse the situation. “Ah! Um… I can explain! It’s just research on blood circulation! When manly Yang energy meets womanly Yin energy, the two balance each other out thus improving blood flow!”
Cheng Yu‘s head turned as slowly as rusted gears in a machine to face Chen Hua. “Is. That. So?”
Beads of sweat were starting to form on Chen Hua’s forehead, as he dizzyingly tried to work his porn-infested brain for an excuse, digging his grave even deeper. “B-B-But of course! Do you want to try it?” Wait what the f*ck am I saying? Did my brain stop working?
Cheng Yu eyes widened in shock upon hearing Chen Hua brazenly offer his body. It wasn’t good for a man to refuse when a woman was already offering her body like this. If he rejected the girl in front of him now, it would inflict tremendous damage on her pride as it would make her think she wasn’t attractive enough.
“If you’re offering, I have no reason to refuse.” Cheng Yu swallowed, returning Chen Hua’s phone before quickly leaving for work.
F*ck! F*ck! Just bury me alive! The shame is killing me! I want to die!
Chen Hua really wanted to dig a hole and bury himself from the shame.
“Cheng Yu you’ve made several errors in your reports. What’s going on with you today?” Ruiyang dropped a stack of papers on top of Cheng Yu’s desk.
“Ah, my bad. I’ll correct those by the end of the day.” Massaging his temples, Cheng Yu apologized.
“Cheng Yu, you’ve heard about it, right? Tang Yuan’s coming back to China.” Folding his arms, Ruiyang frowned as he tried guessed why Cheng Yu was so distracted.
“Hmm? Ah. Yes, I did hear about it…” Cheng Yu was still in a daze when he responded.
This caused Ruiyang to be greatly surprised. Normally when he mentioned the name Tang Yuan, Cheng Yu’s indifferent face would greatly darken. Yet this time, he still remained indifferent.
“Cheng Yu, tell me what’s really on your mind! You’re acting really weirdly!” With a look of concern on his face, Ruiyang asked.
Cheng Yu mulled over telling Ruiyang about his matter with Chen Hua. On one hand, it was almost guaranteed that everyone in the office would know about it if the problem wasn’t serious enough. But on the other hand, there was no one else more experienced in the matters of women that he knew!
With a sigh, Cheng Yu stood up and closed the door. And to guarantee absolute privacy, he stared straight into Ruiyang’s eyes, “If I tell you, you’re telling no one.”
Seeing that Cheng Yu was dead serious about the matter, Ruiyang lost his jolly exterior and straightened his back with a severe expression on his face. “I solemnly swear to keep this between just the two of us.”
With Ruiyang’s promise to keep the matter confidential, Cheng Yu revealed everything to him.
“Y-Y-You… I can’t believe I took you seriously! You acted so confident in front of her and yet here you are! Flustering over such a small issue!” Clutching the table for support, Ruiyang could barely contain the laughter within his lungs.
With his cheeks flushed with embarrassment, Cheng Yu snapped, “Shut up! Tell me, why would a woman ever watch those videos?”
“Isn’t it obvious? It’s because she’s pent up!” Finally unable to control himself, Ruiyan roared with laughter.
“Pent-up with anger? Why would she be mad?”
“This is why virgins are so troublesome… She’s not angry! She’s horny! Women are prone to being horny during their period!”
Suddenly everything seemed to click into place for Cheng Yu. Making dirty jokes, watching porn so openly? Even to the point of inviting him to bed?
But he was still in disbelief. “Are you absolutely sure?”
“This is me you’re talking about! Of course, I’m sure! Just get into the bed with her and f*ck her good and hard! Alright! Alright! I won’t say anything more…”
Chased out of the office by Cheng Yu, Ruiyang couldn’t help smirking.
“Oh President Ruiyang, what’s got you in such a good mood? You’re all smiles.” Greeted one of YueDan Entertainment’s employees.
“Oh, just some cherry problems.” Ruiyang gleefully laughed, leaving the confused employee behind.