Modern Age Online

by Zrail

Original ONGOING Adventure Comedy Fantasy Sci-fi LitRPG Magic Male Lead Non-Human lead Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

It is the Future. The realm of online video game entertainment has grown, creating vast and wonderous worlds for people to explore and enjoy.

This is the story of Kaleb, a young gamer, and his adventures in the latest Super-Hero Virtual reality MMO: Modern Age Online. Join him as he takes on villains (both player and NPC), joins forces with other player heroes, and even deals with some of the bureaucracy of being a hero in a perfect virtual recreation of the world. No cheats, no guides, just one newbie Super-Hero against the forces of villainy in his new virtual home.

 

Update Schedule: I am gonna try and keep it at a chapter a day Monday-Thrusday, leaving Friday-Sunday to write ahead a bit. Leaving a buffer of chapters in case I miss a day. Thats the plan at least, we'll see how it shakes out. Of course this is subject to change in the face of personal emergencies and such.

 

Notes: 1.) While not my first time writing, this is my first time throwing anything i've written at the tender mercies of the internet. All criticisms welcome. 2.) Just to inform people early: There is no evil corporation looking to control the world with VR, there is no Krueger-esque "if you die in the game, you die for real.", and this isn't a story of some OP harem-loving god of the system. Nothing wrong with those stories this just isn't one. This is a simple story about a guy playing a game and finally 3.) This story is extermely rough, i did very little editing, this is just me gauging interest really.

oh, and english is my 1st language, if for some reason you find that important.  

  • Overall Score
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Zrail

Zrail

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 -- Character Creation ago
Chapter 2 - Good Friends and Worse Enemies ago
Chapter 3 - Rough Night ago
Chapter 4 - Crafting and Discoveries ago
Chapter 5 - A Disussion of Origins ago
Chapter 6 - Hero Liaison Office ago
Chapter 7 - First Patrol ago
Chapter 8 - The Professor and The Assistant ago
Chapter 9 - A Pest Problem ago
Chapter 10 - The Secret in The Tunnels ago
Chapter 11 - The Great Tunnel Escape ago
Chapter 12 - Vs. Rat-Man ago
Chapter 13 - You Bought What?! ago
Chapter 14 - Aggressive Training ago
Chapter 15 - The Big Dark Secret ago
Chapter 16 - Rumble in The Park ago
Chapter 17 - Monsters and Alchemy ago
Chapter 18 - Parts and Crafts ago
Chapter 19 - Old Homes, New Beginnings ago
Chapter 20 - Food Fight! ago
Chapter 21 - The Torero Family ago
Chapter 22 - Late Night Visitors ago
Chapter 23 - Social Call ago
Chapter 24 - Under-Town ago
Chapter 25 - The Brute Clan ago
Chapter 26 - A Friendly Spar ago
Chapter 27 - Rokka Round 2 ago
Chapter 28 - Helping the Detectives ago
Chapter 29 - Fine Dining ago
Chapter 30 - Preparation and Decisions ago
Chapter 31 - The Raid (Beginning) ago
Chapter 32 - The Room That Stops the Party ago
Chapter 33 - The Ritual ago
Chapter 34 - Rage in The Cage ago
Chapter 35 - Penalties ago
Chapter 36 - Wizard Fight ago
Chapter 37 -A New Deal and A New Power ago
Chapter 38 - Informed Decision ago
Chapter 39 - Do What Now?! ago
Chapter 40 - Familiar Energy ago
Chapter 41 - Explanations and Road Trips ago
Chapter 42 - A Quiet Ride ago
Chapter 43 - Galveston ago
Reviews

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Draxen Beta
  • Overall Score

This story is just... fun.

 

Nice, relaxing, fun.

 

It’s about this guy named Kaleb who starts playing a new VR game called Modern Age which is about Superheroes and stuff and pretty much just tries to have fun.

 

Like any Gamer should really.

 

That’s pretty much the plot.

 

Is it weird that this is like, the first of this kind of story I’ve read where the game immediately doesn’t turn out completely FUBAR?

 

None of that kind of stuff here.

 

So far at least.

RevengeFire
  • Overall Score
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Good, but now comes the criticism.

Let's start of the very beginning of the fiction, the front page. The synopsis is good enough, could be better if you want to bait people into reading but all in all it's fine. (I would have read this instantly for the junkyard scientiests class)

The front picture at the other hands is the same as a blank space. The name of the fiction and the picture together just sounded very standard and made me overlook this fiction many times.

Let's beginn with the story and world building of the fiction. It is a LitRpg with self made goals for the player. The author itself noticed in the summary that there is no hidden meaning in the game and the real life of our mc has no importance of any kind. (I read up to chapter 14 so who knows, but many days passed and our mc never logged out so I doubt it)

I would even go as far to say that the real life of our mc is a hindrance to the story. He never goes offline and he often missplaces a videogame with reality. For example he is angry at Farrah(a NPC which speaks to our mc on heroes mission) as if she were a existing person because she underestimated his abilities.

Personally I would advise the author to make the mc unable to leave his gaming capsule because of irl problems or change the videogame into a real world setting in which sci fi and fantasy elemts mealt together.

Why would I recommend that? Simple, the AI is to smart for a normal game setting (I don't find this bad perse but you can't just ignore this as a typicial standard if each NPC has evolved into an AI with free will.) and second you can't expect our mc to never go to his his real life again. If you want to focus on the game that is fine, but at least make the background of our mc reasonable to stay in the capsule 24/7.

As for the grammar, i saw mistakes but I didn't mind them very much. The meaning of the sentences were still readable. Nontheless I am sure you can improve yourself.

Now for the tricky part, the characters. The side characters of the story may overlap in their reactions from time to time (The mc and his side characters have the habit of always choosing risky fights and are often impatient) but the author still is able to crystalizes a personality for each side character.

The mc on the other hand is very strange. It almost seems like he has two personalities, one for his workplace and one for his adventure/fightning. When he builds weapons or interacts while he builds he seems like a planning and patient person. For example he takes his time to dismantle materials and allows noone to use his weapons in risk of malfunctioning(only in the workplace).

But once he is fightning he goes in and in and in. He lives for high risk, high reward and ignores the possibilites of his weapon ever malfunctioning. He also transforms into a very chatty person once he adventures.

Now to a real problem of the story. Once again I will note that I only read up to chapter 14. The style isn't actually bad but the pacing of the story is sometimes very, very slow. I read many stories and good stories somehow often have this problem. They are way to detailed.

For example the rat man arc, (it is walking, talking, fighting, talking, talking, details of the surroundings...) before our mc and his partner ever went into the sewers you have to read how they go into a taxi, how he stops by to his assistants place and how he then does small talk with his partner.

If I catch myself getting impatient and picking up my reading pace just to get to the next scene I know that the story just went wayhare. To note, I like to binge read a story in one go but I just couldn't, it was just unnedded detail everywhere.

Now to the last flaw. Originally I didn't plant to write much to your fightning scenes but after I read how everyone(the NPCs and administrator) were impressed by the rat man fightning I was disappointed. The fightning scenes itself were okay, sometimes it felt like I couldn't follow on to how our mc fights but it wasn't really terrible (for example both charged forward but only the scientist managed to land a hit?).

But I could not one bit follow the rat man endboss fight. For one part I will say outright that when I read that the rat man bend metal in, I already saw a 1vs1 fight impossible. For now let's ignore that while I don't believe that our mc can handle a rat man that literally survived a railgun shoot to the head ever has the strengh to do choke on him.

I had to read the fightning scene twice to understand what happened, which is already more I would normally do. He somehow got a lucky cut in, a lucky shoot staggered the rat man which released the mc who was lifted from the ground and he finishs the rat man with a surprise chocke? (I don't really care that out mc only has one good arm, because I doubt that two hands would have changed anything)

The fight was strange and truth be told, way to short. I would have ignored it completly if it wasn't so damn important for the future. It was one of the most overhyped fight I have ever read and I would even say the worst fightning scene I read in the fiction.

Truth be told maybe this might seem more like a personal distaste but I judge this so highly because this should have been the pinnacle of the whole sewer arc, instead it was a fast and akward resolved fight.

Now for my rating system.

2 and 1/2 stars is the medium, good enough to read on, but neither bad or special.

2 or less stars means it was a real flaw that might make me drop the fiction.

1 or less star means I will drop the story beacuse the flow was glaring and overshadowing of the overall work.

3 or more stars means it was a pleasant surprise which enhanced my opinion of the fiction.

4 or more stars means that it feels like a professionell level and I would remember the story even in years coming.

Overall I find this story very good . It is unique it is nice written and the chapters are nice and long(again I read up to chapter 14). I can almost ignore any flaw that happened in the story expect for the pacing.

Somehow good authors are often trapped in a pacing problem and be sure to know that this is a problem for the better writers mostly because they are eager to write every situation.

I hope this is as a chance for the author improve and not a detterent to his drive.

A T
  • Overall Score

I wish we could play it IRL.

  Modern Age On Line is a great game/story that consistently keeps growing, with a good pace of action, crafting, char development, world building and story telling.

  I like it so much that sometimes I wish we could play this game IRL. I could lead a gang using some shady business real easily. Hell yeah!   

Spirit1299
  • Overall Score

So far good, the author keeps it based kind on in reality of superheroes and everyone don’t just have the mc being mostly lizard as background information as the story goes on I will add more.

FOULdragon
  • Overall Score

Rather then go on for paragraphs and paragraphs about how good this story is I'll go in the opposite direction. The grammar is decent but I occasionally run into misplaced or missing words that can sometimes confuse me for a second.

That's it.

No really. That's the only negative thing I can find in this story. Everything is fantastic except for that one niggling detail. If you are looking for a super hero story, then you MUST read this. Hell, even if you AREN'T looking for a super hero story, you should still read this!

I picked up this story from recent posts on a whim! Don't let a whim stop you from reading this! Read it! Now!

Oh, and a note to Mr. Author since I'm sure you'll read this... PLEASE POST MORE CHAPTERS! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!!!

Khas
  • Overall Score
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Has potential, but...

I like the story, the pacing, the grammar and most importantly the characters and the system the story uses.

 

However, for me the story becomes a major headache to read, when the story becomes dialogue heavy, because the author can't figure out how to separate speakers.

 

He got upwards of 5 speakers speaking in the same paragraph. That makes it a major headache and too much of an hassle to read the story.

Lee Williams
  • Overall Score

Really enjoying the story so far and looking forward to more.

lord zarcon
  • Overall Score

fun read. recommend as of chapter 13.

review at chapter 13

very promising can't wait to see where it goes!

only problem is some words missing or spelled wrong every 2 chapters or so.

kellmaster
  • Overall Score

nice story, fun and well built characters/world.
My only gripe is a lack of proofreader. Noticed maybe 1 or 2 instances most chapters with punctuation in the wrong place, or a missed/misspelled word.

Vixsh
  • Overall Score

Great story. Feels like The New World but lighter, more fun. The superhero angle is great, the world building is great and the characters are believable and interesting. Even if you don't like LitRpgs I would recommend this story.