Modern Age Online

by Zrail

Original HIATUS Adventure Comedy Fantasy Sci-fi GameLit LitRPG Low Fantasy Magic Male Lead Non-Human lead Super Heroes Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

It is the Future. The realm of online video game entertainment has grown, creating vast and wonderous worlds for people to explore and enjoy.

This is the story of Kaleb, a young gamer, and his adventures in the latest Super-Hero Virtual reality MMO: Modern Age Online. Join him as he takes on villains (both player and NPC), joins forces with other player heroes, and even deals with some of the bureaucracy of being a hero in a perfect virtual recreation of the world. No cheats, no guides, just one newbie Super-Hero against the forces of villainy in his new virtual home.

 

Update Schedule: I am gonna try and keep it at a chapter a day Monday-Thrusday, leaving Friday-Sunday to write ahead a bit. Leaving a buffer of chapters in case I miss a day. Thats the plan at least, we'll see how it shakes out. Of course this is subject to change in the face of personal emergencies and such.

 

Notes: 1.) While not my first time writing, this is my first time throwing anything i've written at the tender mercies of the internet. All criticisms welcome. 2.) Just to inform people early: There is no evil corporation looking to control the world with VR, there is no Krueger-esque "if you die in the game, you die for real.", and this isn't a story of some OP harem-loving god of the system. Nothing wrong with those stories this just isn't one. This is a simple story about a guy playing a game and finally 3.) This story is extermely rough, i did very little editing, this is just me gauging interest really.

oh, and english is my 1st language, if for some reason you find that important.  

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Author
Zrail

Zrail

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 51 - Walks and Rewards ago
Chapter 52 - Gnome Home ago
Chapter 53 - Enchantment! ago
Chapter 54 - Realities of Magic ago
Chapter 55 - Bones, Wands, and a Lack of Focus ago
Chapter 56 - Dark Magic and A Bullet ago
Chapter 57 - Magie De Trois ago
Chapter 58 Ants and Channeling ago
Chapter 59 - Lair and Armor ago
Chapter 60 - Revolver and Reinforcements ago
Chapter 61 - Shaping and Ow ago
Chapter 62 - Pet Care and Assembly ago
Chapter 63 - Decisions and Blood ago
Chapter 64 - Test Fire ago
Chapter 65 - Monotony and Pride ago
Chapter 66 - Magic Gun ago
Chapter 67 - Random PVP ago
Chapter 68 - A Long Day ago
Chapter 69 - A Veritable Smorgasbord ago
Chapter 70 - Arms and Cat-Ladies ago
Chapter 71 - Plans and Radios ago
Chapter 72 - Equipment and Brutes ago
Chapter 73 - The Faceless ago
Chapter 74 - Damn It, Kid! ago
Chapter 75 - Kick A Lizard ago
Chapter 76 - The Master ago
Chapter 77 - Ballroom Beat-Down ago
Chapter 78 - Growth and Escape ago
Chapter 79 - Death Of A King ago
Chapter 80 - Skirmish and Settlements ago
Chapter 81 - Bureaucracy ago
Chapter 82 - Moving Out ago
Chapter 83 - The Lair ago
Chapter 84 - Starting Over ago
Chapter 85 - First Arrivals ago
Chapter 86 - Bugs ago
Chapter 87 - Extermination ago
Chapter 88 - Shaggy and Friends ago
Chapter 89 - Changing plans ago
Chapter 90 -Snakes and Werewolves ago
Chapter 91 - Ass Kicking ago
Chapter 92 - Vampires and Tinsel ago
Chapter 93 - Burning Bridges ago
Chapter 94 - Massive Damage ago
Chapter 95 - Skills and Gnomes ago
Chapter 96 - Interrogation ago
Chapter 97 - Missing and Found ago
Chapter 98 - Bars and Summoning ago
Chapter 99 - Gnome Ding ago
Chapter 100 - The Price of Business ago
Chapter 101 - Meetings and Emergencies ago
Chapter 102 - Crushing Ants ago
Chapter 103 - Earpieces and Strangers ago
Chapter 104 - Energy and Grandpas ago
Chapter 105 - Turret Work ago
Chapter 106 - Enter The Boar ago

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Void_walker
  • Overall Score

Hope this is still alive.                                                                                                                                                                                

A T
  • Overall Score

I wish we could play it IRL.

  Modern Age On Line is a great game/story that consistently keeps growing, with a good pace of action, crafting, char development, world building and story telling.

  I like it so much that sometimes I wish we could play this game IRL. I could lead a gang using some shady business real easily. Hell yeah!   

(Update at chapter 91)

  Story keeps growing steadily taking us to new directions we didn't considered before and it feels great. New characters come and go while old friends still having a great part in the fun.
  All we know for sure is that we will enjoy every part of it. Cheers!

Draxen Beta
  • Overall Score

This story is just... fun.

 

Nice, relaxing, fun.

 

It’s about this guy named Kaleb who starts playing a new VR game called Modern Age which is about Superheroes and stuff and pretty much just tries to have fun.

 

Like any Gamer should really.

 

That’s pretty much the plot.

 

Is it weird that this is like, the first of this kind of story I’ve read where the game immediately doesn’t turn out completely FUBAR?

 

None of that kind of stuff here.

 

So far at least.

RevengeFire
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Good, but now comes the criticism.

Let's start of the very beginning of the fiction, the front page. The synopsis is good enough, could be better if you want to bait people into reading but all in all it's fine. (I would have read this instantly for the junkyard scientiests class)

The front picture at the other hands is the same as a blank space. The name of the fiction and the picture together just sounded very standard and made me overlook this fiction many times.

Let's beginn with the story and world building of the fiction. It is a LitRpg with self made goals for the player. The author itself noticed in the summary that there is no hidden meaning in the game and the real life of our mc has no importance of any kind. (I read up to chapter 14 so who knows, but many days passed and our mc never logged out so I doubt it)

I would even go as far to say that the real life of our mc is a hindrance to the story. He never goes offline and he often missplaces a videogame with reality. For example he is angry at Farrah(a NPC which speaks to our mc on heroes mission) as if she were a existing person because she underestimated his abilities.

Personally I would advise the author to make the mc unable to leave his gaming capsule because of irl problems or change the videogame into a real world setting in which sci fi and fantasy elemts mealt together.

Why would I recommend that? Simple, the AI is to smart for a normal game setting (I don't find this bad perse but you can't just ignore this as a typicial standard if each NPC has evolved into an AI with free will.) and second you can't expect our mc to never go to his his real life again. If you want to focus on the game that is fine, but at least make the background of our mc reasonable to stay in the capsule 24/7.

As for the grammar, i saw mistakes but I didn't mind them very much. The meaning of the sentences were still readable. Nontheless I am sure you can improve yourself.

Now for the tricky part, the characters. The side characters of the story may overlap in their reactions from time to time (The mc and his side characters have the habit of always choosing risky fights and are often impatient) but the author still is able to crystalizes a personality for each side character.

The mc on the other hand is very strange. It almost seems like he has two personalities, one for his workplace and one for his adventure/fightning. When he builds weapons or interacts while he builds he seems like a planning and patient person. For example he takes his time to dismantle materials and allows noone to use his weapons in risk of malfunctioning(only in the workplace).

But once he is fightning he goes in and in and in. He lives for high risk, high reward and ignores the possibilites of his weapon ever malfunctioning. He also transforms into a very chatty person once he adventures.

Now to a real problem of the story. Once again I will note that I only read up to chapter 14. The style isn't actually bad but the pacing of the story is sometimes very, very slow. I read many stories and good stories somehow often have this problem. They are way to detailed.

For example the rat man arc, (it is walking, talking, fighting, talking, talking, details of the surroundings...) before our mc and his partner ever went into the sewers you have to read how they go into a taxi, how he stops by to his assistants place and how he then does small talk with his partner.

If I catch myself getting impatient and picking up my reading pace just to get to the next scene I know that the story just went wayhare. To note, I like to binge read a story in one go but I just couldn't, it was just unnedded detail everywhere.

Now to the last flaw. Originally I didn't plant to write much to your fightning scenes but after I read how everyone(the NPCs and administrator) were impressed by the rat man fightning I was disappointed. The fightning scenes itself were okay, sometimes it felt like I couldn't follow on to how our mc fights but it wasn't really terrible (for example both charged forward but only the scientist managed to land a hit?).

But I could not one bit follow the rat man endboss fight. For one part I will say outright that when I read that the rat man bend metal in, I already saw a 1vs1 fight impossible. For now let's ignore that while I don't believe that our mc can handle a rat man that literally survived a railgun shoot to the head ever has the strengh to do choke on him.

I had to read the fightning scene twice to understand what happened, which is already more I would normally do. He somehow got a lucky cut in, a lucky shoot staggered the rat man which released the mc who was lifted from the ground and he finishs the rat man with a surprise chocke? (I don't really care that out mc only has one good arm, because I doubt that two hands would have changed anything)

The fight was strange and truth be told, way to short. I would have ignored it completly if it wasn't so damn important for the future. It was one of the most overhyped fight I have ever read and I would even say the worst fightning scene I read in the fiction.

Truth be told maybe this might seem more like a personal distaste but I judge this so highly because this should have been the pinnacle of the whole sewer arc, instead it was a fast and akward resolved fight.

Now for my rating system.

2 and 1/2 stars is the medium, good enough to read on, but neither bad or special.

2 or less stars means it was a real flaw that might make me drop the fiction.

1 or less star means I will drop the story beacuse the flow was glaring and overshadowing of the overall work.

3 or more stars means it was a pleasant surprise which enhanced my opinion of the fiction.

4 or more stars means that it feels like a professionell level and I would remember the story even in years coming.

Overall I find this story very good . It is unique it is nice written and the chapters are nice and long(again I read up to chapter 14). I can almost ignore any flaw that happened in the story expect for the pacing.

Somehow good authors are often trapped in a pacing problem and be sure to know that this is a problem for the better writers mostly because they are eager to write every situation.

I hope this is as a chance for the author improve and not a detterent to his drive.

frightassasin
  • Overall Score

Hey idk where you have gone you made a really great book and im sad to see you stop. In this time we need heroes wether its in a book or on the streets and your book is that good that it shouldn't stop.

Cestarian
  • Overall Score
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Good but far too slow

I've read close to 100 chapters now, 1000 pages (that's like 4 books worth of content) and we are still more or less on the second in-game week.

It's a pretty fun read but the pacing is abysmal; it was ok for the first 10-15 chapters or so but then it slowed down considerably.

There's a lot of action but this game doesn't throw you exp for every kill you get or anything like that. And our protagonist is a sciency guy but honestly his kit has barely changed at all since early on in the story, he even picked some geneticist skill at the start and he has NEVER used it until now.

Also quite funnily, he's constantly always using mechanical engineering, but that skill never levels, whereas his skill with genetics got raised from reading a fucking book, it's like the author is deliberately stunting the protagonists growth, and I get the idea of avoiding power creep and all, but it's far too blatant, and he's not even close to being top dog in the first place, he's at the bottom of the food chain and has been since the start. Everything he's fought until this point are small fry, small time villains with weak superpowers they hardly know how to use.

For 1000 pages...

The story is barely progressing at all, I mean there's progression allright, but it's slow, it is so slow, it is about 5x slower than I would expect.

The only saving grace here is that the author publishes chapters seemingly everyday, so the pace of the story is abysmal, but the pace of the writing is excellent. (Or at least it was until  I wrote this review, then he suddenly stopped and went on hiatus lol)

Besides the absurdly slow pacing, I actually have very few issues with the story, it's decently written, it has ok characters (nothing fancy but it's better than I was expecting), and it has some nice plots and subplots. (Although the restaurant arc was quite boring and overtly long imo)

But seriously, the guy has only been playing the game for like 3 IRL days after all this writing, and his development is suitable for 3 days, but the amount of text it has taken to get to these 3 days is way too much.

The writing is pretty good, everything abuot this is pretty good, but the pacing is killing it for me. The first in-game day took 3 chapters, at that pace, we should be at an in-game month by now (that would still be extremely slow pacing btw) but we're not even halfway to one month.

FOULdragon
  • Overall Score

Rather then go on for paragraphs and paragraphs about how good this story is I'll go in the opposite direction. The grammar is decent but I occasionally run into misplaced or missing words that can sometimes confuse me for a second.

That's it.

No really. That's the only negative thing I can find in this story. Everything is fantastic except for that one niggling detail. If you are looking for a super hero story, then you MUST read this. Hell, even if you AREN'T looking for a super hero story, you should still read this!

I picked up this story from recent posts on a whim! Don't let a whim stop you from reading this! Read it! Now!

Oh, and a note to Mr. Author since I'm sure you'll read this... PLEASE POST MORE CHAPTERS! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!!!

Gompman
  • Overall Score

Slower than my grandmother driving to the grocery store

Reviewed at: Chapter 20 - Food Fight!

Things I liked:

  1. Premise and VRMMO Superhero game trope
  2. Fun side-characters
  3. T'was funny

Things I did not like:

  1. MC beeing an engineer (Like what kind of superpower is that, also have seen that one before like 3 times)
  2. Super slow pacing, so many words, so little happens.
  3. Grammar and writing style isn't always top quality
  4. The protagonist and the side-character's relations.

Interesting start, and a funny story. But that's it. 

 

 

spiderkingvvi
  • Overall Score

it is diffrent than most sorys and it dosent just repat the same things over and over

Caleb Fasnacht
  • Overall Score

<insert various synonyms for "AMAZING!" here>

This is by far the best videogame story I've ever read. It's far and away from stories like SAO. His regualar releases boggle the mind, and his characters are diverse and fun. His system is well thought out, and I find his lack of a blue-box to be refreshing.

Modern Age Online has motivated and inspired me to start writing again, and maybe become a RRL author.

 

My one gripe is that Kaleb is a little too lucky (both good and bad), but it isn't annoying enough for me to take away anything from my 5 stars .