Those Who Aspired to Become Gods : A darker fairy tale novel ©

Those Who Aspired to Become Gods : A darker fairy tale novel ©

by VanZans

" Greetings! I'm Loki.....God of mischief and trickery....Wish to hear the tale of Kayle Shaw, a man forsaken by his own world and transported to another.... by me! A world of fantasy and magic unlike his original home. A world with elves, dwarves, demi-humans of all kinds and monsters that couldn't be described by words alone. Though upon entering into this new world our Hero quickly discovers everything was much less fairy tail like than he imagined. It's a world run by the strong and ruled by the corrupt. The weak live everyday in torment and slavery with no means of escape while the lands are constantly engulfed in war between guilds, kingdoms, and countries. Follow the man who would eventually flip this world on its head. Starting an orphanage and even establishing his own Kingdom of Shieldfriegan known now as the The Shield of the Weak. A man known by so many names he lost track of them all..... Beast from the East, God Slayer, The Divine Chef, and even for a brief time ' Vali the Reaper ' . But alas all this was only the beginning. This tale is the story ...of my champion."



PS. If you enjoy an OP MC in an even more OP world, you'll like this. Also I will hopefully clean and redo old chapters in time since my dialogue might not be great. I also enjoy doing other POV's, because half the fun of being OP in a new world is getting to see how everyone reacts about it.


*Artwork done by Lenni Olinsson
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Author
VanZans

VanZans

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue Part 1: A Conversation Between the Gods ago
Prologue Part 2: In the Beginning ago
Chapter 1: All Alone Now ago
Chapter 2: A Fated Encounter? ago
Chapter 3: The Proposal ago
Chapter 4: A Not So Fairy Tale Beginning ago
Chapter 5: Life in the Forest ago
Chapter 6: Getting Stronger ago
Chapter 7: Agent of Death ago
Chapter 8: World Debut at the Colosseum ago
Chapter 9: Death's New Hand ago
Chapter 10: The City Born in a Dungeon ago
Chapter 11: The Remaining ago
Chapter 12: The Seven ago
Chapter 13: The Legendary Annunake ago
Chapter 14: No Allies ago
Chapter 15: Dark Ties ago
Chapter 16: The Away Team ago
Chapter 17: The Grootslang ago
Chapter 18: Puppet ago
Chapter 19: Tears of a Titan Part 1 ago
Chapter 20: Tears of a Titan Part 2 ago
Description/Character Page: Updated ago
Chapter 21: The Calm ago
Chapter 22: The Storm ago
Chapter 23: Enter Balor ago
Chapter 24: End of an Age ago
Chapter 25: The Start of a Legend ago
Intermission ago
Book 2; Chapter 1: A Long Road Ahead.... ago
Book 2; Chapter 2: A New Kind of Dark Lord ago
Description Page ago
Book 2; Chapter 3: A Darkness Awakening ... (Part 1) ago
Book 2; Chapter 4: A Darkness Awakening ... (Part 2) ago
Book 2; Chapter 5: A Darkness Awakening ... (Part 3) ago
You commented and I listened.... ago
Race Power Rankings / Growth Path Rates / World Mechanics ago
Where have I been the past several months???? ago

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kari
Overall

Absolutely Brilliant!

This is definitely one of the best novels out here.

If the category and summary make you interested. Then I’m sure u’l love it! Just start reading it.

Its on the darker side but the story’s great and has depth. What I found incredible about the novel is that it really makes you feel! Not a lot of books in general can do that.

 

*The only thing I want more of, is the story to be told from Vali’s POV.

(I don’t know if there were any other issues because I was too engrossed in the story to care :D)

 

P.S. I love the lengthy chapters cuz it feels like m reading a chapter of huge novel. I look forward to reading many-many-more!

I actually thought it was gonna be a short read considering there were only 20 chapters released. Imagine my surprise! :’D

Poseidon97
Overall

Best story I have ever read

The chapter length is amazing and the story is so great

ElementalDeathMonkey
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Lets Keep This Simple...It's AWESOME!

The MC is OP, but the world seems to be mindbogglingly large and complex, full of hidden secrets and an abundant amount of the Things that the He simply cannot take on yet.

The Powerful Beings he HAS fought he was unable to do so without help/OP equipment. He's had battles against people that seemed laughably easy, but he would have had to put effort in if it wasn't for his equips (It is not as if he relies solely upon his OP weaponry though...). The MC is also forced to use his abilities/skills in intelligent ways or he WILL lose. 

Few grammar mistakes...Interesting character, Vali, has his own pros and cons but in the end, I like him! Astonishingly riveting action (usually) that grabs you and doesn't let go until the chapter ends. Each chapter is FILLED (not in a annoyingly over stuffed way) with high quality content...Got no problems with style...

Fixing the grammar, which is negligible IMHO, and improving dialogue (I may have been spoiled by Blackthorne so take that with a grain of salt...?) are the only REAL things I can list as needs improvement.

It's like a Xianxia with MUCH better inter and intrapersonal relations, which makes it a True Must Read of EPIC Proportions! 

I would say -type- more....but i'm feelin' real lazy right 'bout now...

Garrdor
Overall

Just a late review to complain

I'm late to the party and just wanna list some of my problems with this story. I read about half of it before I went to check the reviews and was shocked at how glowing they all are. Honestly some of them must be sarcastic. Prob spoilers but I'm advising against reading the story anyway.

The main thing was grammar. In any given paragraph the same phrase will be used 2-4 times, often in the same sentence (made up example: He noticed that on this world things didn't work like that on this world.). Drives me nuts. Another problem is the use of homonyms, "meet" instead of "meat" and stuff like that. Another common mistake is the weird phrasing of expressions, for example I've seen "By the way I'm [Tom], what's yours?" about fifteen times. Finally, the inner and outter monologue of the MC are differentiated by ' and " symbols, and other than that there is no difference between them. He'll think something, then say the same thing, often going thought speech thought speech thought speech throughout the whole dialogue. It's hard to read and pointless. All of these can be explained by a non English speaking writer but that doesn't make it any more pleasant to read.

This next part is just gonna be a long rambling bitch-fest that will combine story and characters.

Characters are annoying and inconsistent and super trope-y. MC goes to the fantasy world to rescue his sister, fine. Reincarnated as a baby, had to get stronger, great. Somehow that morphs into: blood debt against the shitty noble family where he "spawned", freeing every slave everywhere, making deals with Kings who voluntarily hike to his cabin in the woods, overthrowing a different kingdom, and the real kicker is investing anytime at all helping some random dungeon folk. He literally wanders in there, they say "oh great you can bust us out of here", 90% treat him like trash and fight him at first sight, several of them chain him to a wall and gruesomely torture him, and he still helps them. He owes them nothing and they've been there for hundreds of years but suddenly it's a rush to clear the dungeon. He can be a good guy without healing 9,000 people his first day. The entire story is the MC acting edgy and dark and brutal and then doing nice things. It's jarring and not natural and I understand the intention of making a multifaceted character but it just comes off as sloppy. He gets TORTURED by people, captures them, vows terrible retribution, and then proceeds to do jack shit because a girl he's known three days calls them "good people". That same girl had known the torturers exactly three seconds, btw. 

That brings up another good point, the pacing. The pacing of this story, to use a technical term, is wack. As I said, he's transported as a baby, which happens in these stories. What doesn't usually happen is having that baby crawl up a would be rapist and stab him with a dagger then bite his throat out. OP MC yada yada, I like my MCs OP, but he's an hour old FFS. A week later he's a teenager, explained away with special god magic, that's fine. What's not fine is him beating the apparently 400th most powerful being in the world by tackling it by surprise at level like 12. By chapter 2 or 3 he's level 150 with stats in the hundreds of thousands. It just seemed like instead of doing time skips or god forbid character development you just clicked instant protagonist. After that he wanders around and is stronger than everything. Whoopie. Why bother making him a baby at all, just so he can have the hots for his random new mom?

Guess I'll talk about other characters. There's every human, who are racist dumb cocky slave owners. There's his "mom", who instantly loves the random woods baby who turns into a demon and is really a 25 year old dude. There's about 9 interchangeable rescued children, who act like entitled shits after about one meal. There's one much weaker rescued slave child who is actually kind of sweet. There's the angel who is constantly surprised by the human because he does some real basic stuff, like cooking and saying "I want to get stronger". Ancient powerful God who just fafs about being annoying. Spoiled princess who can sneak miles away to go be annoying in a another kingdoms monster forest with no repercussions, bringing her mom and dad (the king and queen) back with her on her next visit. A twelve year old walks from her palace to the neighboring capital in two days. A bunch of dungeon dwellers who either think the MC is gonna save them, think the MC is a weakling, think the MC is an agent of their enemy, are grateful the MC fed and healed them, or are suspicious because the MC is a human. Run on sentence aside, I kid you not when I say some of the dungeon people somehow fall into all five of those categories. Remember he just wandered into this place by accident, day one he's attacked by one of these people just cuz he's there. Day two he heals and feeds 9,000 people who for no real reason live in slums, before being mocked and attacked by the ruling council. Day three he gets betrayed and tortured. Day 4 he's chatting with his betrayers before day five, when he's back in the dungeon trying to help these strangers. That's what made me give up even trying to read this, after he kept muttering darkly about getting revenge on the betrayers then making them soup and letting them sleep on the couch. He also has a pet wolf as OP as he is. 

Originally I was gonna say it's one positive was that it is long, but for every 2 paragraphs of new content there's one basically copy and pasted in from before. On a fairly predictable rotation, one of these subjects will be shuffled in: he loves and misses his sister and wants to find her, he is pissed at the God who summoned him (for real petty reasons in the grand scheme of things), a rescued slave girl can't walk, he had a shit childhood, children slaves make him sad/mad, it's fun to tease his angel, he likes cooking, and this new world is terrible. Expect each topic about five or six times a charter.

Every single monster is one-shotted until the MC just sometimes arbitrarily chooses not to, in which case they are two shotted. Zero suspense and zero ingenuity in fights

I may even come back and add more whining to this review, but I'm done for now. I don't know why I gave it a half star but it feels wrong not to. That being said, reading what other people have wrote has made me lose a lot of my faith in the RR review system. I hope this rant can be used constructively for a story on hiatus and doesn't just hurt the authors feelings, but either way writing it down definitely made me feel better.

sabazurc
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

One of the best action fantasy stories here. It is definitely  one of top 5 on this site. It has good action and fights. Mc is OP and has interesting powers but world around him is no less op than he himself. While this is already good the story has so much more. The side characters are not there just for show, they have their personalities and emotions defined. The stories main plus is emotions....as a reader you can't help but feel what characters of this story feel. while reading this story I experienced anger, fury, warmth, happiness, sadness. This truly amazing story you should not miss. 

 

 

P.S. while for now there are not many chapters, each chapter is extremely long(about 3-4 times longer than normally) so do not hesitate to read just because there are not many chapters written yet.

Dannyboy3210
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

 I read this story over the past 3 days and loved every minute of it!

Every little while I notice a spelling error or grammatical faux pas, but they do not detract from the story at all.

I'm recommending this to everyone I know who enjoys reading light novels.

 

Keep up the awesome work and I am looking forward to future chapters!

Contradiction
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

First story I've actually thoroughly enjoyed on this site. So.. where to begin... this review is through ch. 25 btw

 

Style: Stories written mostly in first person through different characters eyes. Usually I'm not a fan of this, but that's personal preference. Split up about... we'll say 70% MC POV, 30% supporting characters POV. This is just an off the wall stat, but you get the picture. Author doesn't like to do things half-assed, so he'll usually release chapters in bulk to complete a segment of his story.

 

Story: Well paced, probably this stories greatest strength right now. The chapters aren't short by any measure, it's almost like reading an actual novel. The author's done a decent job world-building, but now that we've gotten 25 chapters in, I'd like to see a little bit more. A lot of the characters in this story are OP as fuck. But somehow they still struggle in the world they find themselves in, which is the best part of this story. Too many authors of this genre have their character walk all over the world, like it's a friggin cake walk. This dude doesn't get that luxury, and you've shown that even though the MC is pretty much the biggest cheat ever, it doesn't mean the ones he loves are safe.

 

My biggest pet peeve right now is that we know nothing of the demi-humans society, they're basically humans with funny ears. Now, it's acceptable at this point, because the only ones we've met are slaves and prisoners, but now that you've drawn your readers in, it'd be nice to see you "flesh out" the different species. 

 

Grammar: Pretty good job. It sounds like you had some issues in the past, but have cleaned most of it up. There's still errors here and there, but it's perfectly readable. "Here and There" means in a chapter which is like 22K words or so, there's maybe, and I stress maybe, 20 mistakes. Statistically, that's .1%. I also just did that in my head, so I could be completely wrong and misplaced the decimal, but you get the picture.

 

Character: This is where my greatest concern is. I am a HUUUGEEE fan of the big brother, or father complex. The hulk smash mentality whenever your loved ones are hurt. I just hope that this isn't all our MC becomes. Right now we get to see him struggle with his inner demons, and the darkness that's in his heart. We've seen him change from a normal citizen to a butcher (a nice one, but he's still offed a ton of dudes). But it seems like the people of this world are too accepting of brutality. I mean, one of these kids he meets has to be afraid of him at some point seeing him rip someone apart. I'd like to see the MC be a little more selfish at times. You've portrayed him as a family man, but is that all he is? All we know is that he likes to cook, but even that's part of the family man complex. Is this MC defined by his loved ones, or is there more to him? It's cool that he'll rain a storm of fiery hell on anyone who crosses him, but is there anything that would get him to cross others?

 

Lastly, it'd be nice to see more from the supporting characters. It seems like all they're good for is staying at home, waiting in the cabin for him to come back. Just because you don't have power, doesn't mean you can't do something. Now, I'm not talking about how you'll have the little ones go chasing off after him on his "hunts." Are they just trying to get stronger? Or maybe they have hobbies, like gardening or something. It just seems like all they do is train, or wait for him to come home. Are the supporting characters defined by the MC, or are they more than that? Don't get me wrong, I love Ari. But I'd like her to be a character that's more than just cute.

 

 

Overall, the faults are pretty nit-picky and the pros are well done. Keep up the good work

chulex67
Overall

I actually Only Read Happy Novels But... DAMN

im a person who only read happy feeling novels, dont like things like slavery and rape, i actually stopped Watching Game of thrones because of that. Anyways... This story is DARK , but its also so Warm and Happy, its a must read i dont know why this is not on #1 place.  

 

READ IT

 

PD:  I think its Pathric Ruffus kingslayer chronicles author in disguise. To good to be a FF by an amateur author and also feel kinda sad this should be a novel on amazon with best seller dont know what this jewel is doing here.

anthen
Overall

One of the best on Royal Road

So far this is the best novel ive read on royal road...I just love this fanfic :D

diegohna
Overall

great work, no, not just great its incredible!

I love this, great MC, incredible history and the best world ever. This is the best that RR have!!!! And more, much more!!!!