Tobias Wong is a man with many secrets.
He dreams of being a Battlesuit Designer.
He does not hate the government.
And his father is a supervillain.
Then one day, his absent father left him another. A secret so big and powerful, it would change his life forever.
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Honestly i came in because i enjoy sci-fi and system based stories, but as i was reading it i had deja vu. I couldn't place it at first, but after more reading it hit me. This is way to close to the opening chapters of The Mech Touch. I get it, stuff was changed and you put some work into making it your own story, but it still feels like you copied a little to much with your start.
I would also like to point out that your tech path is really weird. They had advanced eletronic systems and other things to control mech suits, but then they made one to run on steam power. You also added cloakwork legs. I get wanting to be inventive and making some neat story ideas, but it really makes it hard to be remotely believable when you are just mixing stuff together that just doesn't make sense.
Sorry for the bad review, i normally don't post reviews unless i love the story. But i love The Mech Touch and you copied way to heavily from it for me not to say anything. I probably would have enjoyed your story if you didn't copy so much, and made the tech tree more believable.
I really wanted to love it but the story doesn't exactly reach far enough. This novel is perhaps a perfect excuse for design porn. It's something of a shame that the author doesn't go there.
The most audacious madman in the solar system dies giving his estranged son the most outrageous of bequests a system forged of cutting edge magic and science to make what ever his life's goal is a foregone conclusion of greatness.(Epic start)
And he spends it thumbing a catalog and making kit bash mods.(not so epic arc)
Call it a lack of bravery, the author didn't have the MC "invent" any of the arc one source material. Not even one failed design in a flashback, no sketches, no notes...... makes for a shallow character instead of even a hobby designer to start with.
Made it to chapter 28 then dropped. Potential spoilers
Starting off with the good.
The grammer is great. I did not see any major issues while reading the story. Its easy to read and the author does a very good job explaining what is happening with the mc and what he is doing with the technology.
The best thing in the novel is the background of the main character. That is the interesting point that kept me reading up to 28.
The problem that I had with the novel was the goal and actions of the mc do not match. He wants to be a great battlesuit designer(think Ironman). He dreams of making it big in the industry so what does he do?
He focuses on battlesuit designs from the past. He goes to steam and clockwork powered battlesuits. Why? The explanation in the novel is that it was a quest from his system which is fine but then he stays with it. Instead of trying to create any modern day battlesuits he redesigns the past and then he actually tries to sell them. If he is trying to become a top of the line weapon maker why is he putting so much effort into it?
Now I understand it is a steampunk themed novel but there needs to be a reason why. A reason that explains why the mc thinks that steam and clockwork technology still has a place in the world outside of museums. If there was some eletro magnetic attack on the planet I could at least understand the need for all of this but everything is normal on the world.
I feel like the mc is stuck in the past for no reason in the story and the author is going to force the world into accepting his redesigns for plot armor reasons.
So much potential wasted in the past.
Anyway best of luck,
The story is about mech building/engineering. MC wants to become mech designer he's got the ambition and drive, but he doesn't have the most important thing money. The story is well written and is mostly focused on the mech building. There is not too much fighting (like single chapter and it's mostly mech testing) and it's not action paced. Just a guy with a small factory, design software and a dream. It's nice to have a story like that it may not appeal to the larger audience, but i'd like to be read by some people that'll appreciate something new and unique.
I enjoyed this crafting stories are fun in my book
I think it's worth a try
this feels similar to the the mech tough but in a smaller scale with added magic and cultivation instead of mech touchs metaphysics
but this story doesnt get dragged aroud everywhere and doing what its good at and thats making mechs that are slightly better then other mechs allowing the mc to get smarter as he goes on but the storys good so far just hope it keeps going
I am loving this new take on Mech Novels! I've seen quite a few Mech/Battlesuit anime and novels where it's all so futuristic and action packed that I kind of lose sight of the novelty of the machines themselves and by extension my interest/understanding of the plot of the story. Like if they suddenly introduce or hint at the machines having a life, magic, influence, or consousness of their own to manipulate or effect the pilot/user or the world around them...
HOWEVER, this story is nothing like that and I am quite enjoying the situation the MC finds himself in where their are many futuristic battlesuits and corresponding high-tech companies designing them so he decides to build and redesign old timey (low tech) battle suits with the different modern ideas, inventions and education that he has access to since their time!
I find it a real joy to read because of the suprise and realistic factor provided by the scenario and concept of combining ideas and parts from different eras into a completely new and improved whole!