The Caring Dungeon
- Traumatising content
Not everything in this world is natural, and it's only natural to fear the unnatural.
Fortunately for Manning, he was natural.
Unfortunately, he found himself to be in a very unnatural state.
Manning was trapped inside of a gemstone, called a dungeon core.
Luckily for Manning, he found himself capable of using his newly found unnatural power to make a nature filled forest. With the help of Cara, his unnatural roommate, and Ash, his nature spirit companion, Manning dreams of covering the continent with the most beautiful and dangerous forest it has ever seen. His only other goals are to protect himself and Cara, and if he could ever remember, recover his memories.
This is my first time attempting to write anything.
Updates whenever I can find the energy and desire to write.
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Very well written with intriguing setting thats rapidly becoming more fleshed out. Has a lot more nuance and depth than the typical "I'm overpowered and everyone is amazed by it" fiction you seen on this site.
The dual main characters are what makes it. Having two relatable leads that have a slightly rocky relationship lets the author add an outside perspective to each character, helping develop them further. This lets him show that the slightly stereotypical male leads "All I think about is progress and it all comes naturally to me" attitude is slightly abrasive to others, a more realistic approach rhan everyone worshiping the lead in awe as with the self insert wish fulfilment fictions on this site. I hope that the author continues to develop these characters further, either through their interactions with adventurers or by deepening their relationship with each other.
The setting is large and has the potential to be very diverse. The author has a lot of room to play with and can simply add additional detail to generic areas instead of forcing expansion to improve the dungeons. He can also take the story in a large number of directions through the sub plots he is establishing at this stage.
I look forward to reading more from you in general, especially as you grow as a writer. Your phrasing, imagery and grammar are fantastic so I'd recommend refining your narrative techniques to develop yourself.
Chapter 27: The writing is really good: spelling, grammar, compsition, and the other marks of prose writing are good. The Prose Style is easy and pleasant to read.
PRO: The Dungeon having two Main Character Cores is an interesting twist as is the need for them to avoid being "too powerful". The rest of the Worldbuilding is vanilla but comes across as very plausible -- this is a world of patchwork kingdoms and petty wars.
CON: As of Chapter 27 the story has only finished the "Introductory Arc". Many of the Stock Characters have been introduced and the local politics have only just been introduced. How the Author further develops the Dungeon/World Interaction will make or break the story. The Worldbuilding is vanilla (standard Races, Magic, etc.) so Politics and Player Interaction will need to shine.
PROSPECTS: Moderately Optimistic. The Author seems to be going someplace and it will be interesting to read where that place is.
Don't let the amateurish cover dissuade you from reading this nicely written entry to the dungeon genre. With a decent grammar and a fun twist, this story will surely entertain. The main characters have an interesting dynamic and the direction of the plot shows a glimpse at it's potential.
I like the concept of this dungeon core story. It allows for a likable dungeon that can still be a deadly dungeon.
With the title "The Caring Dungeon" I expected an exceptionally sappy dungeon story and put off reading it. Imagine my surprise when it turns out that the name is literally a mashup of the two main characters, Cara and Manning. Progressing from there, the dungeon develops in a satisfying direction with Cara building a classical dungeon full of traps, danger, and death, where Manning builds an "Enchanted Forest" on the surface above. Overall, this delivers both the darkness and terror that one would expect of a dungeon, as well as the majesty and wonder that a supreme architect could coax out of nature. Not that the forest is without danger or the dungeon without positivity.
Ultimately, I enjoy the blending and interplay of the two and hope the author continues to expand the story. Poorly written dungeon core stories are a dime a dozen, but this is one of the stories that I think deserves a chance to shine.
This is a story that I think anyone, whether they read litrpg or not, can enjoy. It’s a unique take on the genre by including two main characters in a core which I appreciate. This characterization is in its early stages but good. Manning is an all around good guy and hero, while Cara is troubled and almost an anti-hero. She, at times, both helps and hinders Manning. She however does seem to care. They are multidimensional and I can’t wait to see the rest of the adventure they go on, and I find myself truly caring (hah) that everything turns out okay for them; which to me is a sign of a skilled author. Keep it up.
I will admit, I am biased as I am married to the author. That doesn’t change anything stated before though. Give this a read, it’s worth your time.
This is one of my favorite stories so far. I like to above ground, forest based dungeon balanced out with the one underground. I read all the published chapters in one day and I hope the the author will publish it as a book and finish book two. The story has done rough parts but nothing an editor could not help smooth out. Solid story and hope for more.
Title: The Caring Dungeon
Protagonist: a 2-in-1 dungeon core. I mean, a dungeon core hosting 2 souls.
Setting: fantasy world with monsters, magic, and of course, dungeon
Tension Level: mid.
Basic Premise: a guy got stuck in a dungeon core as a soul with a girl (also a soul). they have to deal with each other and also with outsiders.
Chapter Content: how they deal with each other, how they make their dungeon, and how the sentient beings deal with them.
Chapter Reached: 35
Personal Opinion: uhh... normal, beside the fact that they are 2-in-1, and also one of them getting the surface (well, I guess that's actually normal as well). well, I don't think it's bad though. I'll keep reading.
This is a well written story with interesting and unique aspects introduced to the standard dungeon theme.
Style: the author does a great job in jumping between different viewpoints, both internal and external to the dungeon itself. This satisfies a need to read how the dungeon is viewed, and also to get an idea of what is happening in the surrounding areas, and allow for more world building. Speed of progression is neither too fast nor too slow.
Story : having two very different types /personalities of dungeons living "together" and being interconnected introduces an interesting new aspect to this story. I can also see how philosophical and moral divergence between these two characters can lead to conflict, and also the depths of cooperation that can be developed. Very cool aspect.
Introducing regular characters from the local town allow us to return again to an external viewpoint, and watching the town develop, and the administrative aspects of a dungeon - based economy will be very interesting to me!
Grammer : not much to say here Generally very well written, especially compared to a lot of other stories. Good job
Character : a nice slow build of the backstory stemming from interludes and flashbacks means that we need to remember and piece this together ourselves - this keeps it interesting!
Introducing named characters from town is nice as well, and I look forward to reading about their personalities and how they interact with the dungeon(s) and the new arrivals.
I would like to see more depth of the characters introduced, flaws and personal interests (the dungeons seem to be developing these well, but the townsfolk have some room to grow, ha ha)
Great story so far and I'm looking forward to many many many many many more chapters in the future, right?!
Style: I'm not entirely sure how to evaluate this part but I think the author has an original and good style of writing. The two main characters are unique from each other and not just an edit or direct opposition of the other. I like that each chapter specifies who's pic we'll see in the beginning as it allows me to immerse myself into the correct mindset faster. I especially love the lack of tables. Too many stories add systems and stats, I like having a number to a power and organized lists but some places just add one when it isn't necessary.
I'm not saying "No tables", just that I don't need one every chapter in every novel.
Story: While there is no detailed overarching story, the dungeon building and world building is spot on. I'm never given information that will not be relevant for another 20 chapters, just hints at what may exist just a bit out of sight. There are no holes except how they became the core.
Grammar: There spelling is perfect and the punctuation and stuff are almost perfect. Just a few misplaced comma's or sentences that could be better worded.
Character: The characters are amazing. Each one feels like a real person and I can enjoy the chapters outside of the MCs'. Each character has sensible motivations and abilities and have reasonable powers.