This Game We Call Life

by spine

Original HIATUS Adventure Fantasy Harem LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Non-Human lead Reincarnation Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Sexual Content

My name is Jack, I am a martial artist who spent most of his life on a mountain. But for the past two years I have been at a public school. Why? So I can learn more about the life most people lead, and it is BORING. Luckily I have some other fun things to do for entertainment. Well, none of that matters now because….. I took elements from other series in this genera, like re:monster and change:new world, but the story itself is mine. suggestions are always welcome if anyone finds a grammatical mistake or a mistake with a table please point it out in the comments so i can fix it, thank you.

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  • Followers :
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  • Ratings :
  • 117
  • Pages :
  • 504
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spine

spine

this author we call spine

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
prologue (or chapter 0) [edited] ago
chapter 1: beginings (edited) ago
chapter 2: in pursiut of bacon (edited) ago
chapter 3: expiraments ago
chapter 4: Johanna[edited] ago
chapter 5: extinctionism ago
chapter 6: language ago
chapter 7: brothers ago
sidestory ago
chapter 8: somthing lost ago
my cheatsheet ago
chapter 9: rank up ago
chapter 10: new friends, new enemies ago
chapter 11: torture ago
chapter 12: principle ago
chapter 13: fighting ago
side story 2 ago
chapter 14: souls ago
chapter 15: mother ago
chapter 16: evolving again ago
chapter 17: ghost!? ago
chapter 18: brainwashing ago
chapter 19: serial killer ago
chapter 20: rats ago
chapter 21: what you've all been waiting for ago
chapter 22: wepons, seals, and a god ago
charecter descriptions ago
chapter 23: vacations ago
chapter 24: torture, part 2 ago
chapter 25: uncle ago
chapter 26: pancakes ago
chapter 27: a lich and a half ago
chapter 28: home ago
chapter 29: lilith ago
chapter 30: old soul ago
chapter 31: training ago
chapter 32: mother ago
chapter 33: a little bit of history ago
chapter 34: lynda ago
chapter 35: the fight ago
chapter 36: full moon ago
chapter 37:the past ago
johanna pov ago
chapter 38: a new target ago
chapter 39: jackline ago
chapter 40: an unforeseen event ago
chapter 41: chased ago
chapter 42: imortality ago
chapter 43: a candle ago
chapter 44: a dream ago
chapter 45: fight between close friends ago
chapter 46: murder ago
chapter 47: elf and a fairy ago
chapter 48: the nymph's new elf slave ago
chapter 49: chief ago
chapter 50: a feast ago
chapter 51: in two ago
chapter 52: end of the dream ago
sidestory-emotions birth ago
chapter 53: for the love of god (flesh) ago
i don't really know what to call this ago
chapter 54: mt. bacon ago
chapter 55: souls ago
chapter 56: a racist ago
chapter 57: goblin butler ago
chapter 58: the mafia ago
chapter 59: the army ago
chapter 60: the damned ago
chapter 61: train ride ago
back ground chapter: lilith ago
chapter 62: figgins wine ago
background chapter: Jackline ago
chapter 63: krawfish ago
background chapter: dryad ago
chapter 64: damned ago
background chapter: ghost ago
Chapter 65: another world ago
Side Story: another side ago
Background chapter Lucy ago
Chapter 66: New Gate ago
Aria/Laura back story ago
Chapter 67: a gift ago
Background chapter: mary ago
Chapter 68: progress report ago
Background chapter: asmodeus ago
Chapter 69: unrelated title ago
chapter 70: A rabbit ago
chapter 71: home again ago
Chapter 72: god father ago
chapter 73: gramps ago
chapter 74: a colapse ago
Chapter 75: celebration ago
Chapter 76: Patron ago
chapter 77: hero ago
Chapter 78: training start ago
Chapter 79: dungeon farming ago
Chapter 80: king ago
Chapter 81: goblin ago
chapter 82: tables ago
Chapter 83: hunting ago
Chapter 84: Anchient History And The Far Future ago
Chapter 85: Plans ago
Chapter 86: Assassinations ago
Chapter 87: Money ago
Chapter 88: a Rematch ago
Not a chapter: short hiatus ago
Chapter 89: A Damned ago
Chapter 90: a potion ago
Chapter 91: some loose ends ago
Chapter 92 ago
Chapter 93 ago
Chapter 94 ago
Chapter 95 ago
Chapter 96 ago
Chapter 97 ago
Reviews

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Hoebagger
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Cannot reccomend in current state

I deeply wanted to like this story.

Regrettably, the writing is so poor in quality that I had to stop reading after seven chapters.

Each chapter is clearly not planned out ahead of time. The chapters seem to end at random, here's a snippit from Chapter 5

"Both Joe and Philip gape at ghost for a minute.
"Philip and Johanna you just cause mayhem." jack
*laughs* Johanna
"Un-understood" Philip
"Getting wet feet now, bro?" Joe
"No I’m just a little nervous" Philip
"Brother?" jack
"Yeah Joe and I are brothers" Philip
End chapter 7"

This....this is abysmal. The structuring of this conversation in itself is terrifying. The lack of detail or any surrounding description leaves the interaction bland and confusing. This type of issue is symptomatic of my core issues with this story.

This story would greatly benefit from having an editor. Proofreading, at the very least, would be a good idea to fix things like placing commas appropriately and not misspelling chapter titles (I'm looking at you 'In pursiut of bacon').

With regard to grammar, words are frequently misspelled or the wrong word is used. For example, the prologue uses the word 'brake' where it should read "break" instead.

There is so little meat on the bones of this story that I really can't comment on the story in any meaningful way. The best I can do is say that character reactions are so inappropriate (or absent) that suspending disbelief is impossible.

In closing, this reads as though it were someone's first attempt at seriously writing and they have no one instructing them on how to write. Although the words are there (usually), the usual cadence to a story and other meaningful aspects of narrative are absent.

 

Final statement:

I truly believe that both the author and the story can be redeemed, but I am convinced it would take an overhaul complete with instruction from someone willing to mentor the author. In its present state I can't recommend this to anyone.


Update as of May 31st 2017:

This author did improve and has continued to produce updates for two years. I suspect that if they went and redid the early chapters, that this could be a great story.

Kudos to the author for having that kind of staying power.

I have updated my score accordingly.

Sanairb
  • Overall Score

Its a fun fast paced story.  Only, it's too fast paced and seems to leave the author behind.  There are little to no descriptions of why he gains the abilities he does, and little to no descriptions of the abilities themselves.  Some chapters are almost pure boxes of new skills.   The boxes are poorly created in some chapters.  It feels as though the author never checked their own work.  Like they were in such a rush to finish that they hit submit as soon as the last letter was typed.  Some proofing and slower pacing would really improve this story.

ShinigamiZR
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Although I might have enjoyed the story otherwise, the constant grammatical issues totally ruin the experience for me. Spacing needs some work as well, with the chapter either consisting of a wall of text or a wall of windows. 

Sakane
  • Overall Score

Could have been so much better

This fiction could be so much better with a bit of cleaning up.

There are quite a few mistakes in grammar that could have been fixed with spelling check in MS Word.

The plot moves at a pretty fast pace; I feel like I’m reading a summary instead of a story. As a result the characters don’t feel fleshed out, they’re more like emotionless NPCs reading off a script.

While I understand the need to move the plot along, rushing the story without building the world and the characters properly just ruins the whole reading experience. I do hope that future chapters will see some improvement.

riles656
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So,another day when I had nothing better to do but read. I was browsing this site and saw this story. Tags looked good. Also it was a transportation/rpg type story with romance. Looked awesome. Started reading and was good till chapter 10ish when it all just......changed. Went from a high schooler farming mobs to a god killer OP womanizer in 1 chapter. Oh mer gurd breh. Also, I saw no romance what so ever. All I saw was a guy who slept with every girl that he could find. Me being myself was loyal,and stayed till chapter 30 thinking that it will change,but it didn't. It got worse and worse. The author is just tossing random things in his chapters,perhaps he thinks that by dropping in as many random and unnecessary things in his story as he can will keep people interested. It won't. People want feels,humor,a sense of direction and purpose. This story has none. It's like the author copied and pasted each sentence from a different story,different book. I wanted to like this story. I wanted to have a good read and give this a good review. Guess we don't always get what we want. 

To the author- Please don't think that I'm just picking on you, I'm not. You have a lot of potential so don't quit writing. Don't make the mistake of thinking that a story is good if it has ero content. Keep up the good work. 

bunsambbst
  • Overall Score

I do think u should use something like beginner, intermediate, expert and master for the skill rank.. 

Also for the name of skills, u could use something with a sense of rpg not fully in (LOL)  term... 

Lastly for the skill arrangement in the status box... it's better to put it like this =

Cooking (Beginner LV 1)(50%)

Back Stab (Intermediate LV 2) (48%)

Btw thanks for the amazing FanFic... 

Keep it up.  ????????????

lolwaffles258
  • Overall Score

-0.25 For grammatical errors

-0.75 for lots of errors related to incorrect use of tables.

 

Still, only requires a bit of cleaning up.

fireworksguy
  • Overall Score

love it so far but would like some more side story and would like more detail on the sex scene in the shower lol 

DevilAsura
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The story could be better! :/

It could be better :/   There are sometimes to many tables and the story is getting boring.....   And i think the Characters are to simple minded....  The Start of the story was good but after that the story became boring, since there were no real goals besides surviving and even that seemed simple he easily killed Monsters became strong and Mills leader with assasinate.....

axl
  • Overall Score

Its a nice story..but

I am very  interested in stories that include an Apocalypse in a game like settings.My only problem with this story is that your writing is too mechanical.Please try to put some emotions into the writing and all the very best.