Out of Space
by neo Koh
The crew of the Training Ship UNS Singapore escaped from an alien fleet, finds themselves stranded on an unknown planet and has to survive against deadly monsters and magical creatures.
Sci-Fic, Fantasy, Magic, Kingdom Building,
Army Building, Technology gap, War, Grand Strategy
Updated the previous chapters for spelling and grammar mistakes.
Updated with a MAP !
Map of the New World
Audio Narration by Agro Squerrils on Youtube!
Please support if you enjoyed my story! =)
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Out of Space is a fake history F Yeah! Other such stories include 'American Dream' and 'Barbarians' on Royal Road and 'Gate' in Manga/Anime.
In this case, the premise is a crash landed united nations space ship crew establishing a futuristic nation in a fantasy world. It involves plenty of 'Ooohing' from local groups as they are confronted by the magic technology of the 'hoomans'.
If that sounds interesting to you give it a go. Otherwise onto the actual review.
Not great, ignoring the first chapter which has seen major editing, the work is plagued with numerous instances of broken sentences and poor tensing. I convinced myself after a while to ignore it as most of the characthers have english as second language.
It fake history, this is a genre where characthers are secondary to the plot as the world often rapidly advances. There is a couple of consistently occuring members but, as is common in this genre, people die.
The author tries to get you invested in the cast with numerous instances of romance and silly behaviour but I dont believe it works well especially with the amount of characther shifting that happens. That said there are a few characthers that I found really enjoyable, especially the goblins.
It is alright, comparing it to something like 'Release that Witch' or 'American Dream' its quite flat. The author clearly knows something about weaponary but the constant presence of 'Magic' and 'Sci-Fi' means that alot of the time details are filled out by "Its Magic'.
There is also a lack of focus on development, the creation of the first city sky scraper is skipped over, as is the introduction of public transport, the civic centre, and schools. You know these events must have shocked and awed people and as a kingdom builder they would have been fun to read about. Instead of seeings these events you get regular staff meetings outlining what has happened, and what needs to happen, followed up with the occasional commoner coming into the city and beeing awed at everything as a whole, its pritty dry.
Unfortunately the author also decided that technology in certain ways should regress. They UN replaces their weponary, as their ammo runs low, they start with advance machine guns and armour piercing bullets but have to start back with black powder not long after. They also have to eventually replace their super advance UAVs with reconnisances planes due to wear and tear. Its realistic but frustrating as it feels like steps backwards which is not great in a builder IMO.
Combat and the F Yeah experience.
Solid but could use work. The combat is detailed and engaging, and the badies are frustrating enough that its enjoyable when they get their butts handed to them. That said, I feel that author is too libral with giving the enemies power ups which kind of undermines the satisfaciton of their defeats. Rather then being trounced after their crazy high egos the bad guys often reveal secrets which force the UN to have to go ham on them. They win in the end but it makes the bad guys ego's feel a little too justified.
If you like this genre and can get passed the grammar its pritty fun. Personally I feel that the work has been stretched too far, 400 chapters in and the UN is no where near space ready, infact they are still dealing with issues like starvation and oceans which are too difficult to cross. I wouldnt mind if the work was focusing on how the nation has been improving but these are too often glossed over in favor of combat and introducing bigger and badder enemies. This is especially frustrating when the biggest bad guy 'the swarm' has not been mentioned in ages.
As a final comment, despite this work still being on going, Chapter 400 or the end of Book 2 feels like a solidish ending for those who prefer to read finished works.
Okay, first off; the story is good. The premise is cool, it's slow-rolled nicely, and the ten or fifteen chapters at the start feels like some real classic Starship Troopers bullshit, which is just great. Read it with the Stellaris soundtrack on in the background. I'm maybe twenty five chapters in, and looking forward to reading more.
But. I suspect english isn't the author's primary language, and it shows a lot. Tenses are a big problem, mostly. Not so much typos, though there are a few of those; it's more just a constant need for a proofreader that makes it a bit too difficult to get through some paragraphs. Afterward, when I think back on what I've read, my mind auto-edits most of it out, and I like the story. But in the moment, actually parsing the language is too challenging to be fun.
I would love to see this get an editing pass. At that point, I'd probably spike my review up to the 4, 4.5 that I think this story deserves. But until then, it's difficult to recommend outright.
Good news! The author has gotten a lot better at the language and flow of the story. It's still not perfect, and the rough edges certainly show in terms of dialogue, but it's a lot easier to read, and I'm enjoying it constantly.
Caught up to chapter 284.
First things first: as stated on the title, it's a nice twist to an overused genre.
Thinking the human race as ultra tech falling in a medieval fantasy world is really interesting, and, even thou I understand the characters to have all kinds of military background, it's a little exhausting to have descriptions of every little piece of machine they develop.
World building is interesting with lots of character cores and many different plots.
The characters sometimes are interesting and well built but often they just seem shallow and empty. Their love relationships seems a bit forced too.
I understand the Blue's personality being affected by his consumption of TV and dramas but it can be really annoying at times, as well as his budding relationship with Ras. She's a wild dragon and should behave as such.
The grammar is bad. No point saying that over and over again as other reviews have already done so. Tip to the author: better use of would and should will have a major impact on your writing as well as the differences between similar words such as affect and effect.
Overall, I’ve really enjoyed myself and the writing speed of the author is nothing short of awesome. I hope you can continue to deliver and develop as an author.
Please, ignore any mistakes on my rumblings as English is not my first language.
Thanks and have a great day!
As of chapter six, the fight scenes are definitely a strong point, very enjoyable (really all there is at the current chap).
But I had to stop reading-dear god, get a proofreader. There are a ton of errors.
If it was properly edited, 4 stars so far? I just couldn't keep going through all the errors.
Okay, review time. After having read up to chapter 120 I must say that I have NEVER been so frustrated by a fiction. This could be one of the very best on this site, but its few flaws are massively impactful. Lets go over them.
Oh God, it hurts. So many errors. Not just in number, but variety too. Swapped words, wrong tenses, mispellings, and even sentece structure and word choice. Literally every aspect of grammar takes a hit throughout the course of these chapters. And consistenly. This alone was the cause of a loss of a star, maybe even a star-and-a-half.
We've got info dumps galore as well as poor scene transitions. Thow in a couple tangential strings of thought, and awkward dialog as well. These issues are much less prevelant than the constant grammatical errors.
And lastly: Characters.
All of the characters are believable, which is a plus, and the few cliches are used well. However, there are many situations that come off as inconsistent or illogical. It only happens a few times, but when it does happen it is quite jarring. One final note here. I would have liked to have had a "main" character, as the POV does jump around quite a bit, and having the story favor one character's POV would have made it just that much more engaging for me. This is total preference though.
The best thing this fiction has going for it is the story. By far. The author is descriptive, he's built up a world that feels real, and the characters actions and motivations are relatable. The premise is unique (enough so that I have yet to find its like on RR) and is executed rather well.
Currently reading - Chapter 311
Everything just seems, perhaps a bit too easy for the humans on this 'magical' and alien world. The first hundred chapters or so it kinda made sense. The thing I find 'negative' with that aspect is that they are still owning the enemy heavily and it creates an effect where whenever they encounter an enemy, I know the HOOMANS are going to bull-doze down the new enemies so easily they might as well just have not been written about?
They took out a huge magical sea creature so easily! All they had to do was press a tiny button! What's the point of the world being magical if a bullet or missile takes it all out in one shot?! Why are the elves and humans not being affected by germs, are germs non-existent in this world? Why have I not heard a single sentence about any disease?
A large gripe I have is that some of these arcs/chapters could be taken out of the story entirely and a new reader won't notice the difference! The traiters? Killed easily, Snake-God thing killed easily, most likely that dumb thot is going to be killed easily too! then never mentioned again!
I am enjoyng this story quite a bit except for the grammer but I am not sure how much more I can take before I give up on it>
Scores are based roughly on RoyalRoadl averages.
Story is interesting. It is one of those stories with many threads that don't get dropped until they are finished. The author is willing to give pay offs to the threads they set up, and does so at a very reasonable pace. This story does like its tropes, but they are fun tropes and any author that bring tropes to their satisfying conclusions is, in my opinion, welcome to use as many tropes as they want.
Grammar is quite shaky. Mostly tense issues, which are not that disruptive in terms of understanding. Some word mistakes and choppy dialogue, which can impact the feel of the story. I do not remember any mistakes that caused a sentence to be incomprehensible.
Character score is a little weaker mainly because romance is especially weak, mostly due to reliance on tropes. However, the characters are fun overall and the tropes do have payoffs, so it is not reduce the characters as much as I would for other stories on this website would get for doing the same. This score is also negatively affected by the grammar in the dialogue.
So many novels like to blueball the reader with big things that never even come into scene before the story is dropped. This one won't.
Story flows smoothly, with suprisingly low amount of sudden changes i peace and gracefully avoid getting clogged on info-dumps. This might be just my personal tendency, but even chapter getting deeper into magic theorem was still interesting and didn't feel out of place, like people explaining things in stories tend to. Even if chapters are discouragingly short they make up for it with terrifying speed they appear with. The whole story seems to be planed beforehand with forewarnings for a few ways situation could develop. Personally I enjoy it enough to not notice errors. Fusion fantasy is rare enough to rank it higher just for genere sake.
It's a pretty fun story and surprisingly not a total curbstomp from the space marines, their lack of resources and the native's magic makes for a lot closer fights.
Characters are generic and not terribly interesting, not enough time is given to develop them. This makes some of the character-focused moments pretty boring, but that's not the focus here, it's more about the telling of the events that happen and the overarching development of their colony.
There is a little excess of technological detail, but it's easy to skim over if you're not interested.
The story does not have much depth or complexity, but I don't have real complaints about that because it's good for a light read.