Skeleton in Space

by WeirdWhirl

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Sci-fi LitRPG

Synopsis:
Douglas is a simple summoned skeleton, formed from an old battlefield when some ancient fossil of a necromancer raised him without even asking. His memories are a bit foggy, but who cares about some people he barely remembers when there is walking to be done! Or stabbing cows! Douglas loves life, the simple joy of doing repetitive tasks - like battering down this large tower door - is all that's needed to keep his clacking bones satisfied. But just when he was done with these rapidly changing tasks, the wizard he was mobbing took some weird crystal out and now there are stars everywhere.

Come join Douglas the magical skeleton as he tries to live a fulfilling life in a sci-fi universe!

?

As the starving artist meme is real, and I wanna get dat bread, I had to take down 90% of book 1 upon publication. The first two chapters are still available to read, but I had to take down chapter 3-20, unfortunately. You can read it here, polished with lots of editorial love.

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Please check out my released books!
The Dao of Magic: Book I - Amazon 
The Dao of Magic: Book II - Amazon 
Skeleton in Space: Histaff - Amazon

Go read my other story; The Dao of Magic.

Updates every Friday.

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WeirdWhirl

WeirdWhirl

WeirdWhirl

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The_Trebor
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As of chapter 3.1
Overall
I like it. The chapters are somewhat on the shorter side but it still packs a decent amount of info.
 
Style
It is really well written as in it makes you wonder what will happen next but not in make what is happening now unimportant.
 
Story
It is still the beginning but from what there is it is really interesting what was he while he was living, why does he know his name, how did he get on that "ship" all of this unanswered yet interesting question will be answered in the next episode of the skeleton in spaaacccee... Jokes aside taking into account that alkaliho also wrote Dao of magic I'm expecting it to be good if not decent.
 
Grammar
As if said often on this site there usually aren't any big grammar or spelling mistakes. with a stray missing letter here or there, there is nothing that would break your immersion of the story.
 
Character
As this is the very beginning i can't say much other then he is mysterious yet relatable he questions stuff but also repressed other, maybe, important questions. but as we have not seen him interact with anything but himself and a tv there is not much to say here.
 
Bone info
A lot unless you know the human skeletal body you might need a diagram on what is where. 
Fortunis Mortis
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I get that its supposed to be a funny story about a Skeleton that gets lost in space and ends up trying to find it's way. I get that Skeletons are stupid in general. Where it loses me is when said Skeleton ends up with a int score over 18 and STILL acts like a moron. Yes I understand it had no mind till that point except for basic concepts. However one of its abilities is reading and speaking all languages. And it reads things constantly. Yet gets no smarter about anything. My other issue is the system. I hate when the system has a personality. But mostly I hate the way the MC bumbles along like a perpetual retard.

Hickups
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Please take notice I have not read the first version of this fiction so I solely comment on the current.

Honestly, it's the usual creative idea-horrible execution drama. No character or story developement of note in the first 15 chapters, mc including. Actually, the first 10 are probably the most longwinded and boring introduction I've had the displeasure of reading. Miserable attempts at situational comic just add on to that. Grammatical mistakes are frequent enough to become a bother. Finally, the story inexplicably seems to be missing a big part between the chapters 002 and 022, confusing and irritating.

I quite loved the idea behind this fiction and the overall setup wasn't too bad, but the aforementioned problems more than outweigh that for me. 

 

The Vale
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Just a dungeon crawl.

Basically, it's a skelleton who has no mind - a complete moron in every way, with no personality, doing a dungeon crawl. That's it. Things get a palet swap for the sake of making things sci-fi, but all you have to think is "what is the dungeon crawl equivalent?" and realise the answer is "the exact same thing with a non-technological name" (as of chapter 016). 

Much like the other work by this author things becme disorganised - a jumbled mess - fairly quickly. That's this guys style.

If you're looking for something mindless, this will do. Personally, the moron mc, the trolling by the author and the lackluster trope based humor gets stale.

 

LopsidedGrinner
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That there’s not more to read, oh I need at least 50 characters apparently so.... yeah!

Tyyphoon
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Refreshing and well thought out

The world building is really spot on. I haven't had any moments where I thought differently. The concept it's self is new and refreshing too, not the game like system, but that too has a fresh feeling to it as well. 

Anyways, I would definitely recommend this, you don't normally see authors go outside of the 'norm'. Especially so well, and I can actually visualize my self in the main characters shoes. 

One thing I always look for is the ability to envision the world that is being created with each new word, and the author has done a wonderful job of bringing this to life. It didn't feel rushed, or to drawn out either. With enough information to keep you informed but not so much that you feel overwhelmed. 

If there is anything I can critique, it would be that some of the mental imaging for the magical system are hard to understand and visualize. But I can't really say how to alleviate that. Because I don't know what it is you are trying to envision. I can only get a rough outline and it's frustrating to have to go back through and re read it. Mind you I did say some. 

Kingkid
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It is good so far, but this is only the beginning so we shall see how this story progresses.

Hailfire
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Nice quality of writing

Genuinely interesting premise with a good sense of grammar and pace means this story reads easily and conveys the events in the story in an easy to understand manner.

ShEsHy
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(As of chapter 18)

The MC reads as what I can only describe as autistic, and the story has plotholes big enough to pass a space station through them.

It's not badly written, in fact, it's written quite well for a System novel, but the story itself and its characters are just atrocious.

Here's an example of how bad it is: there is a character in it with the same race of skeleton as the MC that has a normal body (organs, flesh, skin,..., the works). That's the class of bad I'm describing here.

ivanacoconut
  • Overall Score

This is well written and interesting. 

It is a fairly unique plot and seems to have a lot of potential. 

However, this is only the beginning, only 20 pages so far, so we shall have to wait and see how it progresses.