Prerequisites for Greatness (RWBY)

by bor902

Fan Fiction HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Historical LitRPG Magic Male Lead Secret Identity

Jaune always knew that being a hero meant going on adventures, sometimes very far from home. He just hadn't thought he would start so early, or so far. Sadly he wasn't high level enough to learn teleportation, nor did life have an easily accessible mount option. His own two legs and an occasional donkey would have to do. Medieval setting; gamer Jaune.

You don't need to know anything about the RWBY universe to read this.

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bor902

bor902

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onurpower
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Hope to see this continue.

This is a great work. I really like both the premise and all the background work that you did and the only reason it hasnt probably achieved its deserved place is because this site favors original works with rapid updates. 

I liked the ranking systems classes and all the thought that went to make it possible though I would hope to see it more fleshed out both the game mechanics and when significant changes happen such as when he aquired rend as towards the end I felt like you were not giving all your attention to the progression.

Another thing of note was that I had some problems in fight scenes and timelines of the characters. Examples of this would be during the fight outside swordgods pyramid when jain threw jaune at the archer there felt like there needed a sentence saying he quickly dashed at jaune. As for the timelines jaune says I havent seen jaine for 6 months after separation but still has frequent nightmares. Saying he hasmt seen son wukong for a month and other such time wonky words.

Other than that I found this a great piece with beautiful arcs and well tought out progression. I can especially understand feeling like being stuck with rwby as going to the beacon did not make much sense and would not work to make you stronger anyway and the character that you wrote shared nothing in common with its counterpart except maybe determination. The grim and the kingdoms name can easily be changed as well to any gereric fantasyland and monsters and it would not change anything. 

 

Anyway hope you continue this in any form as I think it was a great storyline and we havent even gotten to the meat of the opossible plots. Hope to see you update this story and notify this as well as soon as possible. 

wheresJerZ
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Amazing story, Absolute GEM

Awesome direction and idea. I know you use the monsters from rwby, but everything else seems completely original. Comparing the first chapter to chapter 28 shows a growth in both style and depth of writing LOVE IT :) I’ll be waiting for more 

proofreader
  • Overall Score

Highly Recommended - No need for RWBY background.

By far one of the best fictions I've read in awhile. Has litrpg elements but is more story driven than grind quests. 

Characters have flaws, hidden mysteries about them and behave rationally to their personality. Not 2D. No harem thus far. MC is not OP. Which means the writer has to work a bit to get him out of tricky scenarios. 

*Update. I felt like the the story lost its edge after he arrives in Brorusalem, similar to how Azarnith healer does once she joins the academy if you agree on that point. My review only applies to the content before that point.

Still, that's 250-300 pages of great content, so definitely read, and decide for yourself from there. 

Jacksonion Democracy
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Spoiler: Spoiler

 Good Plot, good grammar, great characters, my only coMcLain the wold be howorking the MC is going between heroic to ruthless all the time. Like he sometimes will do stuff which is like exTrevelyan selfless and the  5 secondso later he will be ruthless. I prefer our MC being a nice guy, but also practical and ruthless instead of naive like Mary is

cthakur92
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Found this after going through a lot of chaff. Recommended. At least try first two  chapters; should be enough to see if this is for you.

demus_wiesbaden
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really hate the last part when the MC is under the influence of the shitty demon deal. i mean its written and thought about very well, but it makes me sick to my stomach ...
so because my enjoyement suffered so much, I subtract half a star. hopefully that part will not be the biggest part of MCs story in the future. Then I will reverse my subtraction

angryfan
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Change the name of the characters

Can you change the name of the supporting characters so that they don't look too much like the main characters name. When i read the name Jaune  and Jain sometimes i get confused on who is the main character. When i read the names in my head they sound so similar it is I get even more confusing.

Yosha
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Intresting. No grammar or spelling errors I could see and very nice charecterization. Looking forward to more.

Necessity
  • Overall Score

This isn't a The Gamer/RWBY Jaune lead mashup but is more overlaying gaming laws onto the RWBY world and having everyone follow it.

I've been hesitating to read this story because I was hesitant that it may be a "The games we play"(probably, IMO the best The Gamer/RWBY Fanfiction) knock off or even influenced by it. However the People you see in Jaunes life that you never see in the show are quite different and the story gives off a different vibe from chapter one. Rather than him being unique in his interface, everything in the RWBY world has been distorted by game world laws. I actually found this hard to get into being a big fan of RWBY, I think thats because the game system gives people classes that should make you develop in a cookie cutter way and also introduces a wider range of power acquisition that I couldn't imagine working well with semblance. The system didn't seem to me like it should support the protagonists of RWBY or makes them seem mediocre.

InsaneChemist
  • Overall Score

Nice to read. Interesting. Not too flawed. MC is not OP, no harem, no arrogant young masters, avoids academy and tournament arcs so far, I am enjoying it.