A Jaded Life

by Tsaimath

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

 

Succesfull gamer Samantha Jade Jacobs, formerly known as Titania, was feeling the bitter sting of betrayal, being kicked from the team she founded and made great when the gaming world was turned upside down. A new type of game was going into Beta and Samantha would be one of the few testers. Little did anyone know that the road would be longer than anybody thought.

Follow Samantha's Journey into the world of Mundus and beyond on a trip nobody could have forseen, not even the gods themselves. 

Cover-Art by Straborvsky

Updates: Mo, Wed, Fri

 -This fiction contains Romance between two females.

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Tsaimath

Tsaimath

Achievements
Writathon Royal Road 2019 winner
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Writathon Royal Road 2018 winner
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Top List #500
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Word Count (17)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue - Death of the Fairy Queen ago
Chapter 1 ago
Chapter 2 ago
Chapter 3 ago
Chapter 4 ago
Chapter 5 ago
Chapter 6 ago
Chapter 7 ago
Chapter 8 ago
Chapter 9 ago
Chapter 10 ago
Chapter 11 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Interlude: Highlight Reel, Week one ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 ago
Chapter 16 ago
Chapter 17 ago
Chapter 18 ago
Chapter 19 ago
Chapter 20 ago
Chapter 21 ago
Chapter 22 ago
Chapter 23 ago
Chapter 24 ago
Chapter 25 ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27 ago
Interlude: Highlight Reel, Week two ago
Chapter 28 ago
Chapter 29 ago
Chapter 30 ago
Chapter 31 ago
Chapter 32 ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Chapter 36 ago
Chapter 37 ago
Chapter 38 ago
Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40 ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
Interlude - Meanwhile, on the Forums ago
Chapter 44 ago
Chapter 45 ago
Chapter 46 ago
Chapter 47 ago
Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
Interlude: Trailer ago
Chapter 52 ago
Chapter 53 ago
Chapter 54 ago
Chapter 55 ago
Chapter 56 ago
Chapter 57 ago
Chapter 58 ago
Chapter 59 ago
Chapter 60 ago
Chapter 61 ago
Interlude: Innsmouth?! ago
Chapter 62 ago
Chapter 63 ago
Chapter 64 ago
Chapter 65 ago
Chapter 66 ago
Chapter 67 ago
Chapter 68 ago
Chapter 69 ago
Chapter 70 ago
Chapter 71 ago
Chapter 72 ago
Chapter 73 ago
Chapter 74 ago
Chapter 75 ago
Holiday Special pt 1 ago
Holiday Special pt 2 ago
Chapter 76 ago
Interlude: Trailer - Crafting ago
Chapter 77 ago
Chapter 78 ago
Chapter 79 ago
Chapter 80 ago
Chapter 81 ago
Chapter 82 ago
Chapter 83 ago
Chapter 84 ago
Chapter 85 ago
Chapter 86 ago
Chapter 87 ago
Chapter 88 ago
Chapter 89 ago
Chapter 90 ago
Interlude: Fudgecakes on the Forum... ago
Chapter 91 ago
Chapter 92 ago
Chapter 93 ago
Chapter 94 ago
Chapter 95 ago
Chapter 96 ago
Chapter 97 ago
Chapter 98 ago
Chapter 99 ago
Chapter 100 ago
Chapter 101 ago
Chapter 102 ago
Chapter 103 ago
Chapter 104 ago
Chapter 105 ago
Chapter 106 ago
Chapter 107 ago
Chapter 108 ago
Chapter 109 ago
Chapter 110 ago
Chapter 111 ago
Chapter 112 ago
Chapter 113 ago
Interlude Patch 1.4. ago
Chapter 114 ago
Chapter 115 ago
Chapter 116 ago
Chapter 117 ago
Interlude, End of an Era? ago
Chapter 118 ago
Chapter 119 ago
Chapter 120 ago
Chapter 121 ago
Chapter 122 ago
Chapter 123 ago
Chapter 124 ago
Chapter 125 ago
Chapter 126 ago
Chapter 127 ago
Chapter 128 ago
Chapter 129 ago
Chapter 130 ago
Chapter 131 ago
Chapter 132 ago
Chapter 133 ago
Chapter 134 ago
Chapter 135 ago
Interlude: Stooges on the Forum ago
Chapter 136 ago
Chapter 137 ago
Chapter 138 ago
Chapter 139 ago
Chapter 140 ago
Chapter 141 ago
Interlude: Highlightreel III ago
Chapter 142 ago
Chapter 143 ago
Chapter 144 ago
Interlude: Stooges on the Forum - Round 2 ago
Chapter 145 ago
Chapter 146 ago
Chapter 147 ago
Chapter 148 ago
Chapter 149 ago
Chapter 150 ago
Chapter 151 ago
Chapter 152 ago
Chapter 153 ago
Chapter 154 ago
Chapter 155 ago
Chapter 156 ago
Interlude: Advertisment - Tobiuno ago
Chapter 157 ago
Chapter 158 ago
Chapter 159 ago
Chapter 160 ago
Chapter 161 ago
Chapter 162 ago
Chapter 163 ago
Chapter 164 ago
Chapter 165 ago
Chapter 166 ago
Chapter 167 ago
Chapter 168 ago
Chapter 169 ago
Interlude: Highlightreel IV ago
Chapter 170 ago
Chapter 171 ago
Chapter 172 ago
Chapter 173 ago
Chapter 174 ago
Chapter 175 ago
Chapter 176 ago
Chapter 177 ago
Chapter 178 ago
Chapter 179 ago
Chapter 180 ago
Chapter 181 ago
Interlude: Advertisment II ago
Chapter 182 ago
Chapter 183 ago
Chapter 184 ago
Chapter 185 ago
Chapter 186 ago
Chapter 187 ago
Interlude: Once more into the Forum ago
Chapter 188 ago
Chapter 189 ago
Chapter 190 ago
Chapter 191 ago
Interlude: Advertisment III ago
Chapter 192 ago
Chapter 193 ago
Chapter 194 ago
Chapter 195 ago
Chapter 196 ago
Chapter 197 ago
Chapter 198 ago
Chapter 199 ago
Chapter 200 ago
Chapter 201 ago
Interlude: Advertisment Discussion ago
Chapter 202 ago
Chapter 203 ago
Chapter 204 ago
Chapter 205 ago
Chapter 206 ago
Chapter 207 ago
Chapter 208 ago
Chapter 209 ago
Chapter 210 ago
Chapter 211 ago
Interlude: Advertisment - Whisper ago
Chapter 212 ago
Chapter 213 ago
Chapter 214 ago
Chapter 215 ago
Chapter 216 ago
Chapter 217 ago
Holiday Special ago
Chapter 218 ago
Chapter 219 ago
Chapter 220 ago
Chapter 221 ago
Interlude: The Forum, once again ago
Chapter 222 ago
Chapter 223 ago
Chapter 224 ago
Chapter 225 ago
Chapter 226 ago
Chapter 227 ago
Chapter 228 ago
Chapter 229 ago
Chapter 230 ago
Chapter 231 ago
Chapter 232 ago
Interlude: A change in perspective ago
Chapter 233 ago
Chapter 234 ago
Chapter 235 ago
Chapter 236 ago
Chapter 237 ago
Chapter 238 ago
Chapter 239 ago
Chapter 240 ago
Chapter 241 ago
Chapter 242 ago
Chapter 243 ago
Chapter 244 ago
Chapter 245 ago
Chapter 246 ago
Chapter 247 ago
Chapter 248 ago
Chapter 249 ago
Chapter250 ago
Chapter 251 ago
Chapter 252 ago
Chapter 253 ago
Chapter 254 ago
Chapter 255 ago
Chapter 256 ago
Chapter 257 ago
Chapter 258 ago
Chapter 259 ago
Chapter 260 ago
Interlude: This is FORUM! ago
Chapter 261 ago
Chapter 262 ago
Chapter 263 ago
Chapter 264 ago
Chapter 265 ago
Chapter 266 ago
Interlude - Forum: Questions about Kolyug ago
Chapter 267 ago
Chapter 268 ago
Chapter 269 ago
Chapter 270 ago
Chapter 271 ago
Chapter 272 ago
Chapter 273 ago
Chapter 274 ago
Chapter 275 ago
Chapter 276 ago
Chapter 277 ago
Chapter 278 ago
Chapter 279 ago
Interlude: Ein kleines bisschen Horrorschau ago
Chapter 280 ago
Chapter 281 ago
Chapter 282 ago
Chapter 283 ago
Chapter 284 ago
Chapter 285 ago
Chapter 286 ago
Chapter 287 ago
Chapter 288 ago
Chapter 289 ago
Chapter 290 ago
Interlude: Interview Leymar ago
Chapter 291 ago
Chapter 292 ago
Chapter 293 ago
Chapter 294 ago
Chapter 295 ago
Chapter 296 ago
Chapter 297 ago
Chapter 298 ago
Interlude - Forum: Holding out for a Hero ago
Chapter 299 ago
Chapter 300 ago
Chapter 301 ago
Chapter 302 ago
Chapter 303 ago
Chapter 304 ago
Interlude- Forum: Kolyug under Siege ago
Chapter 305 ago
Chapter 306 ago
Chapter 307 ago
Chapter 308 ago
Chapter 309 ago
Chapter 310 ago
Chapter 311 ago
Chapter 312 ago
Chapter 313 ago
Chapter 314 ago
Chapter 315 ago
Chapter 316 ago
Chapter 317 ago
Chapter 318 ago
Chapter 319 ago
Chapter 320 ago
Chapter 321 ago
Interlude: Profiles of Power I ago
Chapter 322 ago
Chapter 323 ago
Chapter 324 ago
Interlude: Frozen Spire ago
Chapter 325 ago
Chapter 326 ago
Chapter 327 ago
Chapter 328 ago
Interlude: Profiles of Power II ago
Chapter 329 ago
Chapter 330 ago
Chapter 331 ago
Chapter 332 ago
Interlude: Profiles of Power III ago
Chapter 333 ago
Chapter 334 ago
Chapter 335 ago
Chapter 336 ago
Chapter 337 ago
Interlude: Profiles of Power IV ago
Chapter 338 ago
Chapter 339 ago
Chapter 340 ago
Chapter 341 ago
Interlude: Profiles of Power V ago
Chapter 342 ago
Chapter 343 ago
Chapter 344 ago
Chapter 345 ago
Interlude: Profiles of Power VI ago
Chapter 346 ago
Chapter 347 ago
Chapter 348 ago
Chapter 349 ago
Chapter 350 ago
Chapter 351 ago
Chapter 352 ago
Chapter 353 ago
Chapter 354 ago
Chapter 355 ago
Chapter 356 ago
Interlude: Of Ice and Fire ago
Chapter 357 ago
Chapter 358 ago
Chapter 359 ago
Chapter 360 ago
Holiday Special ago
Chapter 361 ago
Chapter 362 ago
Chapter 363 ago
Chapter 364 ago
Chapter 365 ago
Chapter 366 ago
Chapter 367 ago
Interlude: Of Ice and Fire - Reactions ago
Chapter 368 ago
Chapter 369 ago
Chapter 370 ago
Chapter 371 ago
Chapter 372 ago
Chapter 373 ago
Chapter 374 ago
Chapter 375 ago
Chapter 376 ago
Chapter 377 ago
Chapter 378 ago
Chapter 379 ago
Chapter 380 ago
Chapter 381 ago
Chapter 382 ago
Chapter 383 ago
Chapter 384 ago
Chapter 385 ago
Chapter 386 ago
Chapter 387 ago
Chapter 388 ago
Chapter 389 ago
Chapter 390 ago
Chapter 391 ago
Chapter 392 ago
Chapter 393 ago
Chapter 394 ago
Chapter 395 ago
Sidestory: Embers ago
Chapter 396 ago
Chapter 397 ago
Chapter 398 ago
Chapter 399 ago
Chapter 400 ago
Chapter 401 ago
Chapter 402 ago
Chapter 403 ago
Interlude - Forum, Seeking Advice ago
Chapter 404 ago
Chapter 405 ago
Chapter 406 ago
Chapter 407 ago
Chapter 408 ago
Chapter 409 ago
Interlude - This is Wild... Magic! ago
Chapter 410 ago
Chapter 411 ago
Chapter 412 ago
Chapter 413 ago
Chapter 414 ago
Chapter 415 ago
Chapter 416 ago
Chapter 417 ago
Chapter 418 ago
Chapter 419 ago
Chapter 420 ago
Chapter 421 ago
Chapter 422 ago
Interlude - Crawling ago
Chapter 423 ago
Chapter 424 ago
Chapter 425 ago
Chapter 426 ago
Chapter 427 ago
Chapter 428 ago
Chapter 429 ago
Chapter 430 ago
Chapter 431 ago
Interlude - Forum: Weather, go home! ago

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WednesdaysJest
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Our first impressions of the character are told to us, not shown.  We are told that Sam is on the autism spectrum, something that gives her a unique way of looking at the world that lets her see patterns that others would miss.  We are also told that her social skills suffer from this since she has trouble with empathy.

Because of this, Sam works as a forensic accountant.  We are told that she is skilled enough at her job that divorce lawyers will avoid quibbling over financial issues to avoid her attention.  We are told that Sam was bullied in school, but we see that Sam fondly remembers when she was able to use her job to, legally and correctly, expose the misdeeds of a divorcing couple that were popular during that time.

We are told.

Yet during the character creation portion of what becomes the main stage of the story we see that the “tests” used to determine the character’s starting attributes that Sam’s Charisma is 10, the score given as average for an adult.  What we have been told about Sam’s intelligence and ability to see patterns show themselves in her starting characteristics, but what we were told about her weaknesses never materializes.

This becomes something of a theme.

Every negative trait that Sam receives serves to make working with other players a disadvantage and to remove the basic social connections that other players will receive.  At first this seems like a rough circumstance since the very first thing we learn about Sam is that she was able to lead of team of gamers to national success.  This is not the case.

Sam quickly gathers a crew of “natives” to work with which is something that her “flaws” don’t effect.  She has no trouble winning the trust and affection of these allies despite her negative attributes and traits.  To make it clear, we see that a player with an Intelligence of 8 is so lacking as to be relegated to simple canon fodder as a fighter, but Sam’s Charisma of 9 still lets her quickly seduce a virgin NPC into a lesbian relationship. 

If you want some fridge horror, then think about the power dynamic between the adult savior and the teenage runaway and how it relates to a sexual relationship between them.  The author even had to remove the mention of her exact age since Royal Road has a policy about depicting minors in certain circumstances.

The most interesting thing about this story was the exploration of the world and the systems that govern it, but that starts being left behind in favor of what feels like cheap titillation.

As a final note, the equipment used to run the game can interfere with the mind of the user, but the MC notes this and then just shrugs.  For an anti-social character on the autism spectrum, Sam is soon enjoying intimate touching and prolonged close association with someone else.  Someone she saved at risk because of her “feelings”.  Maybe there is a future plot point here and we will learn that the extreme conflict between what we are “told” versus what we a “shown” has a logical rationale.  The building blocks are there, but for me the author lost the benefit of the doubt long before that came to be.  Which is a pity since I feel that there is a lot of potential in what we have here.

Piecake
Overall

 I really liked the story until the introduction of the 2nd main character. Their relationship just happens way too fast. It completely took me out of the story and shattered my suspension of disbelief. 

I think it would have been a lot better to if you had the reason why she helped Sigmir was due to her moral code or something that happened in her past rather than some inexplicable NEED. Moreover, the relationship would have made a lot more sense if you did it as a slow burn where they are struggling to survive, relying on each other, fighting off their enemies, and slowly growing closer from that shared experience. I mean, there is not even any reflection by the main character about fucking and developing feelings for a VR character. 

That is a ton of wasted character development potential, and for what? So we can have sex scenes by chapter 15? Not worth it at all.

Seras
Overall

You have a few big issues in this story that is going to hinder you, and they are getting more and more obvious as you continue.

You need to stop 'Telling' us what is happening, and show it to us instead. Over and over, chapter after chapter we get told what is happening, but I don't ever feel like I am there. I would suggest looking into some google searches about the difference in show and tell writing, it may help you.

Second, as many have mentioned the romance was so incredibly fast and out of place. (We are told that Jade is a loner, doesn't get along with people ect. But due to some strange 'need' she helps this woman, and ends up as her lover/master? It's really bad.

Third. Your magic. You need to explain it better. Or give us something. (Sort of goes along with show not tell) I don't understand a lot about the magic. How does it "hurt" her if she goes to fast? How does she sometimes not have the ability for new runes, and then she does? Ect.

There is more, but I will leave it off with that. I won't really be continuing your story at this point. Chapter 39, Frankly you have too many issues, in this story that really need to be fixed.

Ankur_93
Overall

Not what it promises to be.

With the name 'A Jaded Life', you would expect some sort of MC who was cautious and not a happy go lucky sort of fellow. Unforutnately, that is not what we get.

The MC is betrayed, but we see no effect of this on the MC in her play style. It is so utterly disappointing.

The second thing is that the story starts with bonuses and negative effects that essentially force the MC to be a lone wolf. Some of them even the MC choses herself. Yet, all of a sudden, the MC starts getting a parade of side characters which pledge themselves to her only for the sake of plot. NO other logical reason. The author gets around this plot hole by trying to be clever and making all her companions as NPC. We are not fooled. This is not what we came here for. 

Thirdly, an MC that is supposedly Jaded and was betrayed goes far and beyond to save the life of a random woman in the forest, because she "felt compelled" or some other crap. Then MC just randomly assualts the sleeping woman, who for the sake of plot, essentially falls in love with the MC.

So damn stupid.

Thirldy, the MC is so trusting of others, like she believes everything. Everything. There is nothing that would tell you that this MC is supposedly "Jaded". Nothing.

This story is like the "Everyone Loves Large Chest" in the aspect that they both use their Title for misdirection. While ELLC's misdirection is exciting and fun to read, this novel's misdirection is just disappointing.

Now, this story is not bad. It is not good either but it is not bad. This sort of falls in that 'Meh' category of average novels. Thus the 3 stars. But it is so not what it promises it to be. Thus I couldn't go past chapter 35.

P.S. While editing remove those walls of text. They are very displeasing the eye. Break them into short paragraphs instead.

Jay Jay Jinx
Overall

I've read untill chapter 126 and enjoyed most of the story so far, I don't know if I will contiune reading it, because there are some glaring issues regarding world building, mostly becuase of lack of limits.

The story is about a person playing a virtual reality game. I won't go into detail about how the character only visits the bathroom, eats food and works out a bit in real life and why this is really bad for the story. My main concern here is that it seems its possible to sleep in game at 2x (or whatever it is) the speed and be just as rested.

In addition to that the game apparently also has a lobby of sorts where you can link your computer in order to work from there at more than 2x sped up time. You can't just write something like this into a story and never mention it again. Forget the game just this piece of technology alone has the potential to change all of human society. The full immersion game is worth nothing compared to just this aspect.

I believe the author should also consider how the game world progresses when the MC is offline, it seems a bit paused.

The magic system....
It starts of very interesting and good with the MC trying to discover limits on her own. However it spirals out of control as it appears magical effects are only limited to willpower, imagination and affinities. In addition the scale is limited by astral power, however there appears to be multiple ways of storing astral power for later use, even rocks can hold some astral power.

Having a magic system like this should enable any magical class to completely devastate other classes. It would also greatly influence the game world depending on how prevalent the use of magic is. It comes off very strange that so far(chapter 126) the opponents using magic haven't been that strong. There was mention of a dryad using some sort of icicle spell? The mc spent some 15 minutes on her own in order to aquire this knowledge, the dryad in question propably had years and possibly guidance by her faction.

With this kind of magic system the MC appears quite weak at the moment, which is understandable due to lack of experience.

It should be possible by using this system a level 1 lightning mage can sit around for some time storing huge amounts of lightning in some kind of battery connect it to one of those electric hand shaker doodands, find a level 1000 character, shake his/her hand and insta kill the person.

A fire/metal mage should be able to craft himself some kind of iron man suit and fly around in that in the same way the mc uses her shuttles.

Some undead monster lich with hatred for all life could use farsight into space grab hold of a meteor and exterminate all life.

All of this would take a lot of Astral power, but there are batteries.

I do believe this story has a lot of potential, but in my opinion there needs to be some better defined limits.

 

Zentari
Overall

Interesting premise, empty delivery.

Reviewed at: Chapter 19

So, this story starts good, if a little on the 'telling' instead of  'showing' side. There are also a few incosistencies with the character, but it's nothing too egregious. A loner type MC that is magic focused, is jaded, and must survive in the middle of nowhere? With any help being out of the question, on account of negative modifiers stacking against socializing? Yes please!

Then she meets her chosen waifu at chapter 16 and everything falls apart, starting with any shred of already established charactization. Somehow, she is really invested in saving her. Somehow, she recieves a blood-oath because of it. Somehow, the aforementioned negative modifiers don't apply to her waifu. Waifu then proceeds to dump her entire backstory, because there's nothing like igniting reader interest via needless exposition from a forced character.

It only goes downhill from there.

 

paksheet
Overall

Transmigrator story disguised as Virtual Reality

Dunno why this story even pretends to be in the VR genre. Cz this has to be the shitties MMORPG ever if so. But then the MC is just this dysfunctional. 

1. She clears up her schedule (where she works the perfect job where she never has to meet with anyone, ever, gets paid a shitton, and where she can screw with all her high school enemies, anonymously) for the next month. Translated to like, 2 years in game. New game comes out and tadah! Everyone's got a license to a 2 year vacation because, technology lol.

2. She's playing a MASSIVE MULTI PLAYER ONLINE (MMO) game as a single player. Sure I get that. I do that all the time. But there is zero consequences of playing an MMO as a single player. She's basically playing solo in the arctic circle with penguins and polar bears.

3. She got an insanely OP class, where she can control the weather at level 20. All other mages can't even light a match at that level. Wut?

4. Put these all together, I can see her meeting the 1st player character in chapter 2159 where she is level 19144, owns a castle, and she's on quests to kill the gods. The 2nd highest character in the game will be level 152 then, and dies to her glare. Which she will do. Gladly. Because she's an amoral yandere bitch who hates humanity.

5. She meets her 1st NPC. She falls in love in 1 chapter flat. She's now fucking her and treating her as real, not even once is Artificial Intelligence mentioned. 

As for the game itself.

1. You start out completely normal. It takes you 2 weeks to kill your 1st kobold. Fine. Learning curve and all that. Then you have to meditate for 10 hours because you're out of MP. Kill a kobold, meditate 10 hours, kill a kobold, meditate 10 hours. Can't even just AFK, you have to sit in the fucking game staring at nothing to regenerate your MP. 

2. NPCs randomly just spring a "you're now playing in hardcore mode, die and I'll delete your character lel".

As for the setting itself

1. Why bog her down with so many negative traits and positive traits that forces the MC to play as a lone wolf but let it ONLY affect other PCs? When she is gaining NPC companions every other chapter after 20 anyway? She's not even picking her companions. She's just auto-adding to party, 1st come 1st serve. And later author will add some BS like PCs can have a limit of 6 in a party, but since the MC only has NPCs in her party, she can have everyone in her empire in her party. 

 

Author shoulda just made this a generic transmigrator story. MC gets summoned to be the hero, she hates humanity, runs away to the end of the world, decides she's more of a Hero of Dark instead of Light, then just survive on her own. 

No seriously imbalance issues, no missing political/economic/social aspect of gaming author clearly doesn't understand, no this is really not an AI is it dillema, no sudden "you're now playing in hardcore mode". And no why the fuck would anyone want to grind kobolds when they have to meditate for 10 hours after every kill because now, they're forced to.

I'll bump this to 3 stars if story is rewritten to be a transmigrator story instead of this pretend VR story which just bugs the shit out of me. 

Helixical
Overall

It's your bog standard VRMMO story, except it jumps on the yuri train too quick. The MC knows the giant chick for a few thousand words and then they're in love. 

Tavarokk
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Much potential, but also much cactus eating

The worldbuilding for the in-game universe so far has been great. Big, interesting setting that lives on its own rather than revolving around players, good way to introduce PCs into the world, sensible game mechanics.

That, in turn, makes a frontier tale of exploration and adventure good by itself, as a sort of pioneer slice of life, even without any kind of overarching plots. Good going so far.

Character development, on the other hand, does have issues. The previous game drama appears somewhat overblown, because the impression we're getting from there on is that the PC is an introverted curmudgeonly type who broke up with the group due to mounting friction reaching critical levels rather than any kind of backstabbing tradegy we're being told about. Basically, what 'show' and 'tell' do not quite match. Granted, this has little bearing on the story, so it's a pretty minor thing.

Sigmir, now... I actually like her, as a standalone character. And, again, by themselves, quite a few of her scenes are good. But the way she's been crudely plugged in via ample use of handwaveum utterly poisons her and much of events she's involved in. Like, scenes where MC is being all heroic and admirable about saving Sigmir are well-written and would've been inspiring to read, but instead they fall flat because Morgana's devotion to her is fake to begin with. Or all the lovely-dovely moments that are supposed to induce 'dawww' but instead violently clash with MC's surly characterization because we haven't seen the relationship organically develop around their personality quirks.

Essentially, even though the romance part of the story is decent quality now and also pretty interesting overall in how it's been tied into magical traditions, Morgana's growth and her relationships with local communities, the fact that it's built on a cardboard foundation keeps undermining it with no visible end in sight.

MrNoodle
Overall

Nothing really good, nothing terribly bad

Reviewed at: Chapter 30

What's good:

-Idea

-Worldbuilding

What's bad:

-The MC gains skills too easily

-Character interactions and meetings are too forced

-The characters don't have any depth