Azeal Neralum

by kazi223

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Grimdark LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Reincarnation Secret Identity Slice of Life Strategy Strong Lead Summoned Hero
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

 

What are we but a collection of memories? Each, defining who we are and what we think.

But, what if we lost that mental capability, it being shattered almost beyond repair? Would we be the same people although we haven't 'experienced' anything? What would happen when an ordinary man dies, his memories of everything he cared about and loved taken away from him. Where only great pain and suffering could help him remember?

This is the story of a man who is named Azeal. Losing everything he was, he reverts to being a child. Yet, the world he lives in is not kind. It a dark world filled with death and destruction. Follow Azeal as he walks a path of mental and emotional instability as he finds who he was and accomplishes his greatest goal; to protect his family from evil and darkness.

 

Amazing cover was done by Wizard-Hunter on Wattpad! Simply Amazing!

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kazi223

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Sociable Hermit
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Promising Story With A Unique Twist

Just read through all the chapters and been surprised by the quality, especially later on. There's a few smaller problems which prevent a perfect score for me, so on to the details:

 

 

Style: The style goes from rough at the start, to slightly repetetive halfway through, to accomplished in the most recent chapters. The speed of improvement is amazing, actually, since the newset chapters read as well as a print novel. Guaranteed full marks if the author ever rewrites the older chapters in the current style.

 

 

Story: The world feels large and well thought out. Rather than just rush through the plot, the author spends time to paint out the details. Many classic fantasy tropes are fulfilled, but there's easily enough new ideas to keep even veteran readers interested. There's a system, but it mostly takes a backseat and lets the characters and narration tell the plot. The overarching story has been barely revealed so far (as of chapter 26), but I'm engaged in both the close threat which the author has set up over the past few chapters as well as the epic endgame story looming in the distance.

 

 

Grammar: Grammar is rough early on, but gets much better later. Sometimes there's still mistakes which break up the reading experience for me, but it's not too bad overall.

 

Characters: The author tries his best to make his characters seem three-dimensional. Everyone, even the smallest side-characters get their own back story. As a result, the world feels rich and populated, but sometimes, it feels a bit much to me. Characters also have a tendency for the melodramatic and overemotional, which is fine for most, but I wouldn't expect a general or mercenary chief to be this lyrical. Still, at best that's a nitpick in an otherwise strong area for the novel.

 

If you like fantasy isekai, you will like Azeal Neralum. If you like emotional stories, you will love Azeal Neralum. Highly recommended.

l nimbus
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To put it simply, it's great.

Think of this as a walkthrough. A guide that tracks this story through it's chapters, noting the flaws and improvements. Instead of doing a review that says "It gets better later on", this will instead provide insight into the story.


Chapters 1 - 10.

These are the roughest parts of the story. The author is blatently still a beginner here. Despite very obvious grammar issues and plot events that will leave you wondering whether you should read forward, there is also potential in the background. There are, however, many points on which i could criticise Kazi here.

First is the issue of telling and not showing. For instance, in one chapter, we're told about an army being so and so large, but with only numbers. This woukd have had a much larger impact if he had used expressions in order to convey that size, but instead used only numbers. I found myself pondering and wondering about many other things in these chapters too, many of which were tropes i disliked.

For instance, i had already pieced together one of the big reveals that came in chapter 8-9, even though two entire backstory chapters had been dedicated to it and it was clearly supposed to be important.

The main character has a slightly vague, but important backstory. He in turn.....well you could either classify him as childish or excited here. I'll go with excited.

Kazi uses a style that focuses on both the MC's thoughts and actual speaking. It was confusing st first, but careful rereading did help it along.

Another issue was lackluster grammar and akward wording. The main issue here was the usage of the word "due". It got the job done where it should have, but coule have been replaced with better words or with a short sentance to have much greater impact.

But, despite that, i found myself soldiering on.


Chapters 11 - 20.

Gigantic improvements. That all that needs to be said. Azeal Neralum has taken a spectacular upswing in both quality and uniqueness as of these ten chapters. Introducing characters, antagonists and new possibities. The grammar has vastly improved, mistakes now being seldom, if rare.

In short, it had become enjoyable. Azeal himself has become much more fleshed out. It has also delved into things most of these stories don't tend to explore in their self-insert power fantasy ways. Emotion. Morality. Conscience. Azeal is a person, and is portrayed like one. I like that, very much so.

There are still my gripes on the story itself. Though, these are my finicky tastes. Character overreaction, while not comical anime levels, is still here. So is the vaguely descrived combat. I find that fight scenes would have much greater impact if they are described more in depth. Sometimes, the descruptions, while vivid, come off as too much. Again, my own tastes, so feel free to ignore it.

If Azeal Neralum continues to increase in quality at the rate the last ten chapters have, then i expect great things from it.

21 - 23.

Still great so far. Nothing really more to add to the earlier comments.
Though, i have one final suggestion......Everyone seems to be TOO emotional and melodramatic here. Just saying.

Hickups
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Something to obsess about

In a stroke of genius this story deals with something that is barely even acknowledged in most others, Emotion. The protagonist has a very unique way of observing the world and it is a central part of this story but every other avenue of plot developement looks just as tantalizing. And lo' and behold he's a guy with actual morals and principles which often gives food for thoughts. Overall he's a well thought up, likeable and easy to relate to character and the same seems to go for the supporting cast. The worldbuilding sets a very wide scope and the occasional pov switch always fills in more information in an entertaining way. 'Show don't tell' seems to hold true for this author. The world is full of the magical, bordering mythical, and feels alive and thrieving instead of being a mere background.

The only grains of salt I have with this story are the grammatical chaos which is found in the unedited chapters and the sometimes too theatrical 'woe is me' moments of its characters. However, neither detracts from the pure enjoyment that is reading this piece of art.

Magicgearhulk
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This story dates the thirsts of many kinds of readers, be it the power addicts who love watching total domination, or the romantic who enjoy watching the struggle of emotion. None of the side characters are two-dimensional, each one having a n unique backstory, and they interact in a way that seems human, with each having their own personality, even the antagonist has a unique flavor, someone obsessed with power, not quite infallible, but able and competent. 

lamnet
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There are a few stories on RR that are complete published book level stories and this is one of them, as much as I can tell so far.

While we are not exposed in depth to the world as of yet, we can already tell there is a rich lore behind the world. A rich story behind everyone. From bandits to the Gods, everyone has a story and purpose. The author goes out of his way to bring a depth to all significant characters in a way that doesn’t feel clunky or overdone.

Our MC of the story is also well written with his own motivations and depth but also this amazing potential for growth. While some may dislike him for being a bit childish and emotional in the beginning, you quickly realize that it has its own charm while you see him grow and mature in a raw and organic way.

From what I can tell so far, this will be a very story driven novel with intense action and fighting. The fighting and magic in this story is very intriguing and I hope the author explores it more in the same organic way he’s been doing so far: through the story and obstacles the MC faces.

As a long time reader of RR I feel very spoiled as there have been a lot of great stories that have come out lately and are updately regularly. Keep it up author! You’ve got the making of a great story here, just don’t forget to have fun writing it ;)

Jacksonion Democracy
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Amazing, but it burns my evil heart

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

tempest86
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This story could be amazing. Could. 
The constantly shifting POV is annoying to say the very least. Most of the POVs do server to broaden the world, but there is a huge amount of telling in that.
There biggest problem I have is with the style. I don't even have the words to decribe it. It reminds me of a bible. The same older, prechy kinda of tone. 

I would score it lower, but there is a story trying to claw its way out of the language. It gets a decent score for effort, and the author has made serious comment on trying to improve. 

(To the Author: Focus on the characters a bit. Each one has the same tone. The dialog is in the exact same style of the narration. Which is fine if its a 1st person.)

Daoist_Everhope
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A very misleading description

Hey I've just read up to chapter 28 and have revised my ranking of this fiction. When I first read the description, before even reading it, I immediately gave it a a half star, because, I mean, really, how arrogant do you have to be to write a description that starts off how it does, right?. But I did end up deciding to read it, and was glad that I did. You can tell the author definitely put a lot of thought and work into this story and it shows. It can be a bit long-winded at times, but the long-windedness does tend to fit. All up, 4/5 stars!

 

Chaosseed
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the story is a very good read. Cant wait to see how the MCs power scales. and it would also be nice to no the what the size of the world is.And roughly population sizes so we have a good look on how big battle are. because 20,000 out of a 100,000 population is huge but 20,000 out of 1,000,000 is hardly a drop in the bucket.

Elins
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Too many different POVs

The writing is okay (the tone is a bit too melodramatic for me sometimes), the premise seems good, but there is very little story progession and the story is told by sometimes 3 different POVs in one chapter. Most of the characters' POV don't add much to the story and the charcters are not memorable (probably because there are just too many that are crammed in too close to each other). 

I did not read all of the chapters that are out (32) and stopped at 22, because the whole chapter was another POV from a character that hadn't been introduced or alluded to yet, after the last chapter ended in a POV from a different character that also had not been introduced before that. So in 22 chapters there were POVs from at least 9 different characters, excluding the MC.
What I remember:

Spoiler: Spoiler

That is just too much. I woudn't be surprised if there is more text from other POVs than from the MC.