Stronghold In The Apocalypse

by Apocalypse Defender

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Romance LitRPG Male Lead Martial Arts Strategy Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

The world is facing an incoming Apocalypse, as Earth is under going another Evolution. 

Mankind will face its greatest crisis in the face of the Destructive Apocalypse with Zombies, Mutated Beast and many more. 

Follow Leo, as he became the last hope of Mankind, using the most awesome cheat System given to him by Gaia. 

Will he fall or survive as he rise to the top? 



Art by: jbrown67 

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Apocalypse Defender

Apocalypse Defender

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Reviews

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tempest86
  • Overall Score

Villiage builder stories are great. This one isnt at all. As someone else (MFF_ZEWS) put it is a Qidian novel, and very typical of that style. It appears to be based in England so I assume a native English speaker/writer, sadly it reads as a poorly translated novel. 

There are mentions of guns, quite a lot actually, which clashes with both the fact that all fire arms are illegal, apart from very serious restrictions on shotguns for farmers and the like, in England, and the first few chapters which states that firearms will be unstable.

It's just a poorly written and thought out story. (I stopped at chapter 4. Just could not continue.)

argusthecat
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Full disclosure; I have some personal, somewhat cultural, biases that have gone into my rating of this story.  Specifically, that I don't really enjoy seeing narratives that treat women as prizes, or objects.  And wow, it didn't take long for this one to get to that stumbling block!  The main character's first 'main questline' literally promises him someone as a girlfriend for completing it.

That is, without question, kinda gross.

The rest of the story does nothing to make up for it.  There's no tension, no sense of escalation.  The MC just plows through any obstacle like it's not even real, then everyone praises him for it.  The language is hard to follow, sentence structure is a mess, and it's just a headache to try to parse half the time.  And even if you do, it goes nowhere.  Just a meandering, senseless mess.

Skip it.

riles656
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..........time.......wasted

Story itself seems interesting. I’ve always liked base building stories. This one, however, finds a way to ruin it. 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 Don’t waste your time guys. I was bored and decided to read a bit into the story and god derm it, was that painful to read. Just don’t. Even wuxia stories and them being cookie cutter stories are better than this.

HamsterDesTodes
  • Overall Score

review as of chp 15 - cringeworthy :(

When I read the description, I thought we'd get something similar to "The Defective Hermit", one of my favourite stories on RRL. Unfortunately, while the premise is similar, the execution is terrible.
The "preparation" consists of loving descriptions of weapon systems, slapping down a base during 3 whole sentences, and picking a girlfriend. So, gun porn, base building and romance are set!
Sadly, the guns don't make sense (sure, a Stryker is driving through "Los Angeles city", because everyone knows Americans are weapon crazy, right?), the base building is so ridiculously short it may as well have been skipped, and the fact that "the system" literally awards the MC a woman who doesn't even know he exists as a girlfriend is kinda creepy. Also less romantic than the ordinary he-rescued-me-I-must-love-him "romance" in most stories, which I didn't think possible.

I'm deeply disappointed that the premise of the story (sigh. why did you leave your story unfinished SciFiAddict?) was dragged so low. Maybe the author grows up a few chapters further, maybe after the introduction arc is finished this will be a tale worth reading.
Leo may stop being an awkward moron, may have to actually build stuff instead of being able to buy everything premade from the system, switch from his crush on Amanda to Michelle and gets to know her before they come together instead of winning as a friggin quest reward (which he actually failed BTW), maybe even works at forming a community and is required to put some effort into reconquering earth.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I'm missing a gem in the rough. I don't know, but hoping for the best and reading on is more than I can stomach right now :(

chakfor
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Creepy and poorly written wish fulfillment

The storyline is inconsistent. The MC is creepy (he wants a hot and famous girlfriend, so the system gives him one). Grammar is awful. Sentence tenses make no sense.

 

I couldn't get past chapter 5. This makes the Twilight series look like War and Peace.

cws
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I’m only giving this a 3 star because I don’t know what is going to happen in the future. I like the idea of building a stronghold and being “Humanity’s Last Hope” but is he going to build a super stronghold that he has to constantly repair and keep everything inside his stronghold safe? Anyway, I hope you do well with this story and I’m looking for more.

DarkOne
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Apocalypse Genre is great!

Story is awesome! More please! Ignore the haters because they can't write a good story or their story's sucks!

DoktorPrimat
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LitRPG Apocalypse! Dok recommends!

A great story mixing LitRPG with the classics apocalypse zombie setting. So far so good!

I like the setting of the story, although the introduction to the world was very cringe-worthy indeed, it just sort of cements that the story needs to be viewed as a ‘relaxing read’ take it all with a grain of salt and humour comes easily.

The characters seem fine so far, we have been introduced to a number of them and of chapter 14, but they haven’t been fleshed out yet. You do seem to be rather quick on working out Leo’s coming faults, removing them nearly before they come up, instead of letting them be shown in the story and gradually removed.

(Bit spoilerish ahead)

One of them was when he just finished building his stronghold, and immedietly declared he shouldn’t rely too heavily on the system due to him being told he can manually build things without the systems aid. While it’s Fine and all, from my perspective though it just seemed like he was exploring the system, as he had it for less than a day, rather than being heavily reliant on the system. A major distinction I think. But there’s plenty of room to grow, so keep doing what you do, mate!

All in all, a great read so far, very interesting story. Definitely a worthy read.

-Dok

Yosha
  • Overall Score

Nice Job. Too Short for Anything Else.

Nice work for now. I cant say wether the story is very good right now, but the idea and your expression of it is wonderful. However, please edit your work before posting as there are many grammatical and spelling errors in your work. I hope you continue to keep up the good work.

4 stars for good idea and execution. 

Genesis of the Void
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I love the story so far and I wish you could post more often.

You may need one or two editors and/or Beta-readers to correct your grammar.

Edit: I love the story and I'm happy you're updating it but you are too rushed with the story. :D