Lone: The Wanderer [Rewrite]

by Lone

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Romance LitRPG Magic Male Lead Non-Human lead Secret Identity Strong Lead Summoned Hero Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

THIS IS EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE REWRITTEN VERSION OF ONE OF MY MAIN NOVELS.


Nine-to-five. The daily grind. Life. Painful years of school. Working as a slave for some undeserving corporate big-wig. The monotonous life of unemployment. We all experience this in one way or another, and we can all conclude one thing: it's dull.

Such a fact rings true even for the fabled Lone Immortus, a powerful nine-tailed Golden Foxkin. However, what would you do if your monotony was suddenly ground to a halt and you were thrown out of your comfort zone along with a young girl forgotten by time?

Perhaps you might have done things differently, been more organised, immediately died, gained control of the world in a matter of days, but this is Lone's tale, not yours.

Watching two insecure people struggle to survive and find their place in an unfamiliar land just might be enjoyable to witness. Who knows? One thing's for certain: it won't be an easy path for them to tread, and what could possibly be more entertaining than watching people endure hardships and grow?

I know of at least 8 Gods that would answer with, 'Absolutely nothing.'

I wonder, after seeing this journey from start to finish, how would you answer?


The new cover art is a courtesy of the very kind and talented ssddx.


This novel is a participant in The Writer's Pledge

[Image: SSyXrQz.png]

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Author
Lone

Lone

The Lazy Author

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Prologue: Compatible Champion and Stupid Game ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 1: Building Depression and Sudden Change ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 2: Strange Screens and Panic Attack ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 3: Painful Coconuts and Teleportation ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 4: Mental Shock and God's Killer ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 5: Skill-slot and Apology ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 6: Sophie's Powers and Sophie's Nickname ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 7: Small Tracks and Surrounded ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 8: Stabbing and Fun-sized ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 9: Boots and Trust ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 10: Bravery and Experience Experiment ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 11: Ocean Koala and Bath Pains ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 12: Woodworking and Goblin Stirrings ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 13: Cooking Cartographer and New Encounter ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 14: Acting and Illusions ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 15: Lone's Worries and Hazel's Dismay ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 16: Beach Fort and Natural Weapons ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 17: Emergency Unsummoning and Tail Blanket ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 18: Dome Replacing and Attractive Frustration ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 19: Third Hunt and Goblin Magic ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 20: Crude Fireball and Stress Before Sleep ago
Book 1 Milindo & The Holy City: Chapter 21: Past Nightmare and Other Side ago
Reviews

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Luke Scheffe
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The rewrite is much better than the original. I tried reading the original and found that the MC was way too much of an asshole to appreciate the book. In this, however, he is actually reasonably compassionate and doesn't act either bipolar or like a sociopath. He actually considers other peoples opinions and even sometimes takes them.

Chaos_Seed
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Thank you so much for rewriting this! When I began reading the original version of this it hurt so muh trying to get through it. All I could think was, "This story has such a great idea!" but I wasn't able to keep reading. The conversations were too awkward and quick that it just made it painful . 

Now to the compliments, this rewrite is MUCH BETTER! I admire how much you have obviously grown after writing the previous one, and cannot wait to continue reading the rest of this. 

Here's my explanation on the loss of a couple half stars... 

There are still a few grammar issues, but not nearly as much as in the original. Yet another thing to show the authors growth. Lastly, for the Characters, the conversations are still a little too formal, which kind of breaks the illusion that you create about the world in your mind, but once again it is far far better than the original. 

I look forward to seeing the rest!

motthi
  • Overall Score

I like this much better than the original. It's much less creepy and the two of them actually feel like regular people. I like how they aren't trusting and there is zero arrogance to be found. I look forward to seeing them grow as people and watch any other changes to come!

 

[As of Book 1 Chapter 17]