Realm Online: Oathbreaker - An Epic Fantasy LitRPG Adventure

by Gravlox15

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy Harem LitRPG Magic Male Lead Summoned Hero
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Epic Portal Fantasy LitRPG - New Updates Every Wednesday!

Steve's just an accountant with a barely controlled MMO addiction.

Bokta, an outcast blood mage, lives in Tamernil, a starter village in the MMO Realm of Crafted War. The people of Realm live under the harsh rule of a vile bureaucrat, and Bokta just might have a plan to save them all. She'll need to summon a powerful Oathbreaker, one she's been watching through a scrying mirror for quite some time. There's only one hitch: Maxkrannar, the level 90 Oathbreaker, isn't real. He's just Steve's character.

Violently dragged into the world of Tamernil, Steve will have to learn how the hell he's supposed to survive, all while masquerading as Maxkrannar, the demon Oathbreaker he's supposed to be.

Read more awesome stories at www.stuartthamanbooks.com!

 

A note to readers:

Firstly, thanks! Readers like you make it all possible.

Secondly, here's the straightforward info on what to expect. What you're about to read is an unedited first draft. You'll find some typos. The story is currently finished and with a professional editor right now. I expect the retail version of the story to be available around the Spring of 2019. Book 1 (Oathbreaker) will launch the same week as Book 2 (Citadel Deathgaze). Book 2 is currently being written, and those chapters will go live here on Royal Road very shortly. 

Content: The first third of the novel, roughly 40,000 words worth of the story, is GameLit / epic portal fantasy. The hardcore LitRPG aspects kick in around there (Chapter 19 to be exact). The same is true with the harem / general sexual content. Most of it is pretty light in the beginning, and the more hardcore stuff comes later in the story. Profanity is laced pretty consistently throughout.

And finally, please consider leaving a review or a rating. Your input means a lot to me, and all the comments help me craft a better story.

If you want to help financially support the project, you are cordially invited to check out the Webstore (use coupon code READORDIE13 for 13% off at checkout). You can also find my other novels pretty much anywhere you would normally go to purchase novels, including Audible & Amazon.

I also write more free short stories here, including a choose-your-own-path horror novel: Melissa's Heart.

Thanks so much for checking out Realm Online!

~Stu

Another general update: Rewrites are complete! The manuscript is currently with a professional editor. 

 

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Author
Gravlox15

Gravlox15

Killstreak Author

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Ral
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This story subverts your typical wish-fulfillment transmigration stories. You know, those stories where a character is summoned or transported to another world and receive cheats or turned into powerful creatures, etc.

However, there is a problem. You see, there is a reason why this stories, tropes and cliches are common and popular... They work. They exist for a reason. For example, underdog stories are common and people love them.

Now lets try to subvert this. Let's subvert the underdog. Instead of a good talented person that is under appreciated, let us replace it with an awful talentless person that is glorified without doing a thing. Did you see the problem? Did you see how just subverting these things breaks what makes the trope work?

Subverting elements of the story breaks the story in a fundamental level so it is required to restructure the entire story for the subversion to work. And this story fails this way. It subverts many things about your typical wish-fulfillment transmigration stories without doing the restructuring work and mess up pretty much everything.

This story subverts what you expect from this kind of stories and remove anything that people like from this kind of stories. The result is a story that is boring as heck.

I mean, for example the protagonist is incredibly average and receives no skill or anything. He practically can't do anything. And since our hero practically practically can't do anything, the other characters has to even more incompetent and lacking than our protagonist for our protagonist to be able to do something. That is, they are incredibly dumb.

The witch believed the bullshit the protagonist is saying because she is dumb. Our protagonist could waltz through the street without getting robbed because thieves are dumb. Bartender give our protagonist a job even though our protagonist is clearly unqualified because the bartender is dumb. Every one is so fucking dumb!

.., Steve will have to learn how the hell he's supposed to survive,...

Really? He need to LEARN? With characters as dumb as these, who needs to?

And that is just scratching the surface. There are a lot of things that doesn't work because of the subversion and the author is incredibly lazy in dealing with it. There is just so many bullshit in every chapter. It would take me the entire day to just list them all.

~~~~~~

Such an incompetent story. Some stories has things you didn't like. Some are so cliched. Some drops in quality the further it goes on. But this... This story fucked up from the very start. From its concept alone. The author believes that by subverting the typical story, he is being clever. No. He is being dumb. He did it without thinking what he was doing.

I have no second thoughts in giving this story half a star. It is a story that doesn't deserve to be written.

MayBeAPervert
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Quite good, some tags may be misapplied.

The good: Really promising start. Interesting world, bit of a mystery surrounding MC, lots to explore in upcoming chapters. When the action starts rolling, things get tense and kept my attention.

The bad: The book currently suffers with a bit of a hump during first several chapters - MC starts out as a real idiot, and also the tags don't quite match up to the story so far.

Regarding MC - he gets way better quite quickly. Starts out brash, than goes through some serious crap and quickly wises up. I would definitely advise for people trying this out to read at least up till chapter 15 or so if you are not feeling the lead character for the first 10 or so. Character progression is definitely a thing here.

Both LitRPG and Harem tags also take a bit of time to start and I would say that both are barely present so far, but clearly building up. (up to chapter 23 so far).

Finally Sexual Content tag - techinically true - as in it's mentioned and/or implied a few times that sex takes place. There is some implied femdom, and the setting has a magic profession who entails magic powers related to sex.

But so far the sexual encounters are 'fade to black' kind and other than that there is just some mentions that it took place. Using US ratings, this story falls somewhere between PG and PG13. Think 90s era Young Adult novels. I honestly think that particular tag is a bit off base here as there is too little explicit content to warrant it either as a warning to those who want to avoid, or as a lure to those who seek it out.

shykarn
  • Overall Score

It gets three stars primarily for the grammar. The character's are okay but are not particularly well fleshed-out. The main character is a bit of a dumbass. Most importantly though it's not a litrpg which really makes the story significantly less than it really could be.