Seti Tutt, a recent graduate of the university, was too weak as a wind adept to become anything amazing with his abilities. However, his sight was stolen and now has to learn how to see with his wind, ultimately landing him as a student at Prestige Academy where enemies abound.
Almost-weekly every Monday.
The almost part of it just means I'll skip an update after several releases to catch up on the writing.
Story cover was commissioned by me.
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The world building is exquisitely crafted to be both fulfill twords the authors intention of creating a believable world with the added benefit of (imo) not being forced at all! The story has a flow that hasn't, and I doubt will, be matched for a while, all the while spinning a tall tale of magic (mancy) that can be imagined with very little effort.
There are already a lot of precursors twords possible future plot points and I honestly can't wait to see where this develops. I sincerely believe that we could have another fiction that could EASILY keep up with, if not surpassing, the top trending fictions on this site, such as Randidly Ghosthound and E.L.L.C.
Keep up the good work author, I'd love to see where you take this
Edit: I've seen a bunch of people criticize the MC's thought process regarding the geas in the story but if you continue to read everything gets explained, you should give the book another go.
I have enjoyed every moment so far and I am highly anticipating more. The story has kept my attention through all 14 chapters that are currently out and I feel given time for more readers to find this story it will end up as one of the most popular stories on RRL.
As others have reviewed, this story is a blast and would've easily became one of the top listers on this site. However, lo and behold, the author became enlightened and found writing to be a cardinal sin. I suppose this was another "could've been" that will remain lost forever.
I love the story!
PROS: Creative way of using handicaps and underdog stories had always intrigued me, and this story has all that. All the characters have distinct personalities and their actions have consequences that have legitimate ripples affecting the world which gives a deeper sense of the world-building. Smooth reading from start to finish and the pacing is great!
So here's my review (mostly frustrations) based on my experience while reading your story, which I hope you wouldn't mind hearing.
First: The protagonist's motivations are all over the place.
This makes his actions and decisions feel a little flat, despite how big and impactful it was supposed to be. The conflicts the story focused on are more on the personal stakes despite the social situation influences, so having contradictory motivations can paint a hazy MC.
One example is how much he was willing to understand people and yet failed to look at his sister and father's cases.
The first motivation presented was solidly placed with his father.
The first substantial relationship you showed was the sister.
And yet, from early chapters the father was mentioned on a one-sided stereotype, and the sister took the back seat and plot device to move the story along. Yes, she had a vital role but that role was narrowly filtered on the protagonist's eyes. The story was able to express the personalities of strangers better than those with his sister he had been with for years, which made me, as a reader, question his drive. Not to mention how much he affected his family (primarily with his niche), more than the said strangers, you would think his take on them would also change. But maybe that change would appear in the latter chapters? So I can't really tell.
What I saw was, he was noncommittal (taking the path of least resistance on his life), wants to change (with how he approached Aiden), affected by family and how society saw him (motivation to take on his family's business).
That's why when he made big decisions and weighed it more on how he affects said strangers more than his family...it became more selfish since all I took from that decision was how it centered more on himself. We could say he was selfish. But nothing from earlier chapters showed that. He acts more on self-preservation and seeking for more in life rather than on selfishness imo. Which again makes his self-sacrificing acts, later on, feel hollow.
Then there are his trust issues. He distrusts Shepherds and yet wants to be them. He hates how Cassie used him, yet wouldn't mind being used by the Serio Family; He only mellowed on them (Cassie and Mafia) when he got something out of them, but those things were merely incidental (his memory/sight, and his training). Pinpointing his basis for that trust subsequently was lost to us readers.
His motivations and actions are contradictory. But I think its still fine. If these contradictions are done right, it could be used as a good stepping stone on shaping his character as long as there is a resolution, however, so far, I haven't come across a solid resolution to patch them up. Giving him a moral dilemma during the exam was a good avenue to address it, but it didn't provide answers but added to confusions instead, since he was quick and steadfast to his decisions so the 'dilemma' was nonexistent (which triggered my long rant above to how understanding he was XD).
Second: His background was wasted.
Once I took in his personality, I then questioned his background. This is a guy readying himself to take a multi-million nationwide business, which again, I didn't saw..? He has more knowledge on the Hero side of his city than the business side despite implying he had resigned himself to his fate (rich kid in a higher society) that he hardly practice his mancy since elementary. It took the most recent chapter to know exactly what his father's business was and not once was it explored as one of his strengths aside from it being a cash cow. He exhibits smarts so it should have applied when he dealt with the pressure of his background even before the mafia.
Why am I saying this? Because it's frustrating! His background is cool. How will he use this shift, from being the heir of a business giant, to the heir of the head of a mafia (confidence, cutthroat market, manipulations through money...tho he doesn't abuse it, he must be aware of it); from using the money to get what he wants, to using the illusion of power to get his way (exploiting resources, fame and facades)? And how much it'll parallel to his old life (hero society) and the new (mafia family)?
How he'll operate being part of those two is yet to be seen.
The idea of two sets of laws operating a single society is great! The United Accords is a nice touch. I want to see him, being caught up between those rules. Nitpick on it and just use the things he needed to justify the things he wants to do or simply fuck it up, and see the consequences. Wanting to be a Shepherd while aiming to be a Dragon. The duality is too sweet!
So my point is, the story moves forward and every revelation is a great read...but don't forget your MC's core and background, since it could offer a lot on this kind of story, thematically, that is. The new MC is more exciting, yes, but the old one could make him more relatable. Kudos!
A great story, but the author has left it for God. I'm not even kidding.
An elegant magic system, and an interesting world. This is one of the best I have read. The novel lacks the boring fluff but still makes the world interesting and clear. Read it if you enjoy any sort of modern magic novel.
EDIT:Yes it was dropped. We are sad so just ignore those 1 star rating ppl are just mad because they really liked this novel. Author posted some more chapters on reddit and plot that he/she had planned.Enjoy.
great story about a weak/overpowered wind mage MC .....and the mafia! the characters are all really cool....as someone aptly put, this is some good shit
Terrific story, unique, and wonderful.
Then adult "bible camp" IRL happened and the author decided to close the story.....because they asked.
Let this be a lesson religion loves high pressure sales techniques. The hot bible babe, the ultimate wingman "bro", the attention of being in the center of the party....the life of the party.
It's a personality warping sucker punch to the ego.
If you find yourself in such a situation tell them you need some time alone. A month? Barely any time really at all. If they are honest and true they will back off for a month. If they are more concerned with the business of religion than the faith the hot bible babe is going to be calling for dates. The wingman "bro" guy time. The religious super friends....outings.
Faith is where you find it in the red dust, or the infinite.
People that tell you after barely know you "change your life for us".....Usually about as concerned with faith as a lobbiest writing targeted propoganda after downloading your facebook feed.
+ My heart was beating fast in chap 5!
+ Easy to read and no apparent mistakes
- Few Chaps :(
First 12 chapters are truly a good volume one. Introduces the world, the characters, the plot, nice pacing, interesting characters and conflict is set and stakes are shown. It's easy to see many different places this can go and MC is well-equipped while also has severe limits imposed on him. There's even a nice culmination point with a really majestic character introduction. I'd say, read those ca 300 pages (which is a nice length for a book!) and you're ahead.
If you feel like it, write a continuation, as you think this should go on further on.
Scores for that part:
Story-wise this is well-done for two reasons: plot-lines and pacing. Pacing issues are common, esp. so on RR. Here we have no issues: first chapter introduces several conflict seeds and drops a serious predicament over our MC. Within 12 chapters here we have ongoing plot events for not one, not two but at least 4 plot lines. Which nicely interleave, so it becomes a solid rope? canvas? of a plot.
The style has problems with conveying emotions. I feel like several scenes could wring out more, be it commedy or drama or tension. Mind you, nothing that would make me frown in displeasure, just a note that things could be even better than they are. However there are few really good twists done rather well. Like the one about MC's niche and it's side effect on his family. That was a blow and it was easy to see how big. I'd like more follow-up with things like that.
Characters are not bad, I'd say, decent. I can see human beings in them, but I would like to see more of them. Some of them fell flat (Libby, Tyron, Ivan, Melvin), which - for Melvin - was a disappointment, with the amount of pages he is at.
In a rewrite of this story I'd give more hints to reader w.r.t. MC's thoughts and reservations about his sister. This relationship was messily portrayed - or I missed some explanations or failed to do some deductions.
With all that, I liked that his father had his moments of glory, despite being a non-mancer, I liked how that plot-line went, I could very well see the reasons for misgivings about both of his parents and with that I liked the family dynamics - not liked as in rooted for but I liked their flawed nature. It was grounded.
Most characters though could use deepening, though I presume that was meant to happen at a later date. Still, seeing how this won't happen, I'm rating this as a standalone book and therefore chars are rated at 3/5.
Grammar had occasional problems, which didn't detract from reading.
The above was for chapters 1-12. Remaining chapters (13 and 14) are an intro to a second volume, a dropped story - so don't go there.
Most (almost all?) 1-star reviews I've read here are just bashing the author for having honesty and bravery enough to not go on hiatus silently, not delete the story but leave it as it was while saying he found God again and that thus he cannot write anymore. I find it better than silently disappearing (I know that there's no more chapters to look forward to). I disagree with "I cannot write" based on Christianity's tenets, but it's not my life, it's his. Also, deeper beliefs usually go along with sacrificing much of one's life to one's belief. And it matters not what kind of belief it is - for those who think religion is dying, no it's not. Nowadays other things become religions: for some it's politics, for some it's celebrities, for some it's dataism or liberalism or progressivism or conservatism, for some it's something yet else.
Mind you, that if he didn't do that, people would rate it much higher for it's potential alone. So the 1 stars, half stars, etc. reflect disappointment. Which should tell you a lot about strenght of the novel earlier on. Hence my recommendation: read 12 chapters. Enjoy a free and decent to good book you're getting, free of charge. And move on to other things, knowing there won't be a follow-up.
From here on, I'm merely commenting about the outpour of half-star and one-star reviews.
I really dislike how people give the author so much flack over the fact that "he found God again". I - as many others - also disagree with "I can't write" he followed-up with. But I see the appeal in being a part of something greater and if the author decided to really uproot his life and follow Christianity's tenets in doing missionary work, dropping his banking job etc. then I say his life and choice. If he also found meaning in that, kudos to him. Helping real people in real world is needed more than another RoyalRoad novel.
And I cannot find similar outbursts for other cases: novels in hiatus for YEARS, novels going on hiatus from authors who dropped most if not all of their novels. Well rated, well liked, having potential. I don't believe those weren't disappointing cases. But the reviews there do not show anything like here. No 'we're bamboozled', '1 star cause dropped' or 'author dropped this, don't bother'. So it's hard for me to see this as "righteous warning: this is dropped folks". Not with people claims. I do see this as persecuting a reason that you find unagreeable. Perhaps it's Christianity that's easy (or trendy?) to bash. <shrugs> Sure, I am disappointed as well, but let's be constructive fellas. First 12 chapters work well as standalone. Not stellarly well, not mind-blowingly well, but DAMN better than many other RR novels, going on for hundreds of chapters and offering much less.
Again: read 12 chapters. Enjoy, take apart the plot construction, wordbuilding, information exposition, to better your own writing. Characters I could recommend: Henry/Edgar, Cassie (to an extent), MC (could be better but could be a LOT worse in number of ways). Pacing is good, things happen, there's a slight lull with the training but it's always there.
And I do appreciate I didn't reach last chapter and was left hanging, there's too much of that already.